MY PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
INTRODUCTION
Hello there! My name is Siddharth Rai and I live in India. I am a twenty-six-year-old male and I live with my parents. I work at the nearby airport as an electrical engineer. I have a younger sister who is studying zoology in a college nearby and she lives away from us due to her college. My writing style might not be appealing but I would be happy if you read and reviewed my article. It will help me get new interesting things to you. I hope you enjoy reading this.
I have always wanted to write a book. I like to write poems, I like music, I like art and I like to travel. I have never travelled out of my country except to Nepal. Nepal is quite nearby to where I live. I live in the eastern India, Darjeeling. Some of you might have heard or visited the place before. I live in the foothills though- Siliguri but the district is Darjeeling. I have spent around thirteen years of my life in Darjeeling. I miss those golden days that I have spent with my family and friends in Darjeeling. Those days will never come back again. It is a beautiful pain. All the crazy things that we do as teenagers, I did it in Darjeeling- fighting, having girlfriends, forming a band, roaming around the streets- everything. Some of the people I met on the streets are now superstars and some homeless vagabonds. Some are married and some committed suicide because they couldn’t love. I am just a regular guy like you. I think I am below average when it comes to money, prestige, personality and many other things that define us- a lifestyle.
The reason I thought about writing this article is because I want to become a better person as I am approaching towards my thirties. I have heard somewhere that writing makes it easier and effective to do something that we want to do. I hope this article will help you in some way or the other. I will share some of the deepest things that I feel. I will talk about my past. I will let you know about my present and I will also try to show you the future that I have visioned for myself. I will be talking about my personality development.
PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT
We have often heard about the word personality. We have often heard about one getting complimented for their personalities and sometimes people finding their personalities not matching with others, mostly to their partners. It’s interesting to see us being conscious about so many things in our lives. Our beauty, physique, clothes, status in the society, possessions, partners and other small things like our fear of facing people, inferiority, pride, love, attachment. Well personality is a sphere where all of the conscious things are confined into.
It is the way we react to the factors that make us feel something- good or bad. Feeling good includes many things- paragliding, completing a trek, listening to classical music, releasing a music video. Feeling bad might feel like thinking about the moment that hurts you- could be anything, you know better.
How are you going to react to the situations-now and then? That defines your personality. If you ask the instructor for your money back after a paragliding session because you couldn’t fly for another ten minutes because of the weather then you need to work on some parts of your life and if you left your girl with the man and her friends just because you missed the party the previous night then you need to work on some part of your life- you might be using your head too much. I am worried about how am I going to handle a relationship in the future because I’ve messed up my previous ones- I need to work on some part of my life. My personality is not balanced.
Personality is a gift- a box of chocolates- it’s tasty but harmful if eaten too much.
THAT’S HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
It was the last day of 2017 and my girlfriend had come to Siliguri with her friends. I had my aunt come over from a distant place and we had to go visit our relatives, so I was caught up with my family. My girlfriend called me and told me that she was around in the market with her friends and some unknown person gave them a lift back home. I told her to be cautious around and we agreed to meet the next day. Late night she told me how she missed me, and she went to sleep early that night. I thought she was cheating on me, and I sent her some rubbish texts. Cool- the night passed quite fast.
I went to meet her the very next morning just to see a guy in their apartment. He was my old friend. She told me that he had just arrived. And he looked like he had just woken up. Good! She treated me like a kid, and I know I was in the wrong place with wrong people. She tried to be herself, but I didn’t feel her. In my mind I was constantly thinking about she is cheating on me. I left the place early and booked two tickets for me and her to get back home. They came late. I had to travel with them. This guy had a car. An unknown man giving them a lift back home, sleeping early, not wanting to go home with me- I was hurt and mad. I wanted to break up already. But I waited because I wasn’t sure if it was the right reason to leave her. So, I waited and just after two months I saw her with a different guy. This time she had come to visit me, but I went to play basketball with my friends because she wanted to have some time with her cousins. Well, I was late by a couple of hours, and she called up her friend and had him over as a company- this guy was the one whom she met when we had a fight back in 2016. Her friend had introduced them to each other- her friend who wanted her to break up with me because I was a needy, passive and a childlike boyfriend- who always was insecure, quarrelling and a noob. This friend of hers was the one whom I admired back in high school.
We broke up January 2018 for good. It was the third or the fourth time, but we broke up finally, forever. I wanted to break up with her because I thought I wasn’t good enough for her. Well, it was a whole different reason for me because the actual reason why I wanted to break up with her was because I wasn’t feeling loved. I didn’t have the guts to accept it and move on. I used to think it will hurt her badly, she is an innocent girl, and I would give it a new chance. I once put my mobile on complete shut down for a month to get away from her- that was the time she changed drastically because she realized that I wasn’t into her anymore. But we got back together shortly- she loved me after all, and so did I because I realized that instead of roaming around with strangers it was better for me to strengthen my relationships with people who love me- I was wrong. She had other guys in her life now- like that guy in their apartment, like that guy her friend had introduced to her and that addict guy who she had her in her phone list.
I was alone-broken. I put too much pressure on my rational mind and started emphasizing on my emotions. I brought this cloud of sadness over me. I wanted to put her into depression- I did. I was depressed too. Influence. My friend was a depressed person. He would talk about how depressed he was, how his past relationships had failed, how jealous he was of me, how he would talk about suicides and philosophies that I couldn’t understand. Influence! I don’t hang around with him anymore. I don’t meet him. He has a good job now. He is financially stable and has a girlfriend. I have no idea about my ex. We haven’t talked with each other since the day we parted our ways- she is hurt you know. I hurt her more than anybody else and I don’t want to go back to her with my dark shadow over her head. I am fine alone with my personality development obsession and sickness. I hope both of them are safe and sound.
I want to forget about my past but I can’t because I have hurt some of the best people of my life like my parents, family, friends, teachers, girlfriend and even a dog- damn! I wonder if she is alive- Dalli the dog. My friend’s dog. She gave birth to two little puppies. One is with us-a mother now- Lily. Lily makes me happy. She is wonderful. The only reason why I was facing the hardest time of my life was because I didn’t have any purpose in life. I wasn’t fulfilling my duty-studying. I would get high the entire day, miss my classes and sleep after a masturbation session. Food and shelter were available for me as my parents paid for it. They would send money every month and I would eat, get high, sleep- repeat. I did this for two years and my girlfriend was gone, I had failed in my semesters like a dead toad, I was financially depressed, I had lost weight, I was now a little jerk. I wasn’t happy. I never wanted to kill myself though. I wasn’t raised that way. My father was in the army, and you know how it is in the military family- respect and discipline but I packed my bags and returned back home during my third year and a year of my college was still left behind.
When I went back home, I couldn’t find my peace because my aunt was living with my mother with her little daughter- my sister. When I went there to live with my mother there were four ladies and me- one man. I had habits and it was difficult for me to maintain them. The rooms were small, and everything was audible. I had a habit of masturbating before sleep. And my aunt would sleep in the room right next to mine. I sometimes wanted to screw her up, but I knew it was not a moral decision. I wanted to seduce her just to masturbate but I couldn’t because I didn’t know how to. And interestingly I was a virgin until twenty-five years old. That was one of the reasons why my relationship didn’t work out with that girl because I couldn’t fuck. I mean she would say after marriage, but she would also get naked and get missionary, but I was facing mild erectile dysfunction because of heavy marijuana dosage, porn and excessive masturbation. So, maybe that didn’t work out. I left my mother’s comfort and came back to college to complete my education and I did but a year later. My psycho friend had passed his college and I was left behind with another friend of mine- loser no.2. I think he still is a virgin. But I am not. Not anymore!
My friends and I none of us got placed. We were jobless and there was corona virus and lockdown. It was good time for assholes like me to waste life away. I would spend my day by playing Pubg with my friends, watching porn and masturbating. My good time had begun. I was lucky enough to have faced an interview with the army for army engineering and not lucky enough for selection but reaching that spot where I was trying to compete to become an officer in the army. I was lucky enough to have got the chance to spend my time peacefully with my mother and my sister. My aunt had gone back home- her child had a vacation now- due corona and all.
One of my cousins are the in army. He was home for a break, and he motivated me to jog in the morning. I ran for two or three months but quit. But my mind was now looking for motivation to stay fit. One day I was watching porn and masturbation. Right after ejaculation I decided to stop watching porn and masturbating. Oh! Good days! I felt so good that day when I didn’t masturbate. I felt clean and guilt free. I was free now. I would miss my ex though. Her smile, her sadness, the burden she had due to me, the heavy heart that she had because she never wanted to leave me. I hope she is free and happy. I wish her the best and ask for forgiveness for every little thing that I did to her. I never wanted to make you cry but I am sorry. I have realized my mistakes now and I want to see you with a smiling face one day. I have moved on, but I am around, and I hope you too. Take care.
My friends have hurt me too and I have hurt them too. My family has hurt me, and I have hurt them too. People change but you don’t. Things always happen to you. Girlfriend, friends, family, money and etc.
FOCUS
If I could move a mountain, I would try to carry it around on my shoulders. A child, a teenager, an adult, a man, a woman, old, new no matter who, everyone is trying to find something in their lives- focus. If they lose focus, they will never be able to talk. Try not thinking anything and talking- you will notice how your brain coordinates your speech. We don’t care what we talk about because we are focused on something- conveying our message. It’s important to learn how to improve your focus. Thus, in order to improve your focus let’s try:

1. Meditating: Five to fifteen minutes a day- om meditation or guided meditation. Connect yourself with the inner spirit. Find out how heavy your chest is and how clouded your mind is. You are supposed to be as light the air and as clean as the water in the spring. Your mind should contain natural sceneries and not porn.
2. Exercising: Your body is a masterpiece of art. A godly creation. The entire human civilization is based on bodies. The entire art and history show how great leaders and warriors and scholars looked like. They had extremely appealing bodies, no matter what nation they belonged to. Romans, Greeks, British, Chinese, Japanese, Indians, Gorkhas, Sikhs, Mughals, and Americans, all of them have an interesting thing to notice- their bodies. Fast and furious to giants and strong. They all are focused. Some ruling the nations, some fighting wars, some creating art, some politics and some philosophies. They have a balance between their and heart and their brain. Have you ever done a chin up? Next time you do try to notice how your heart gets connected to your brain like a hook linking a loop. So, dear friends- exercise.
3. Study: I study engineering because I want to reach a better position in my career. You can study to be happy or flourish your business. But study something- learn.
4. Work: Work. Move your body, use your head. Work. Let your body know about discomfort and tiredness. In these modern times we have found new ways to earn our livelihoods- investment especially. If you are not a broker who works, his heart out to analyze and make profit and you are the one who makes money and live luxurious life out of the money your broker made for you then you should at least spend some time trying to make money the hard way- at least a day. I know you have been through a lot, and you have finally found your financial peace, or you were born rich, but I must tell you he is not a man who doesn’t work. You can try house chores if nothing is coming to your mind. So, work just to get yourself in motion.
5. Hobbies: I play dota2 and I want to play the internationals. I sing karaoke. Do what gets you excited to get back home.
6. Read: Read books. I want to learn finance, health, relationship, science and engineering. You can read them too. Reading is something that makes time for your brain to rest for some time. It will settle down some of your chemical imbalances there.
7. Write: Write your deepest feelings, write a short story, write essays. Write. You can’t always be verbally sharing things with others. Some things might have been missed and some left unsaid like the ones in the previous paragraphs. It’s just a good thing to do-write.

INTEREST
If you can’t quit, then it means you are inspired. Inspiration and motivation are two different things. You can’t inspire someone verbally, but you can motivate them. Inspiration is long lasting, and motivation is short term. Motivation is like fuel to your inspiration. You will understand it. Just try to do something that you are interested in for three months. That’s a goal.
I am interested in many things. Interest as I say please refer to skills- just to make it easier for you to understand the difference between hobbies and interests. My interests are in programming, designing electrical circuits, photography and content writing. These are skills that I want to acquire, and I am “interested in”. My interest can’t be lifelong because I have distractions around. So, with a small technique I can learn these skills without losing my interest. The technique is numbering. Just put make a list of things that you want to learn. It will help you not lose your interest.
How to keep your interest alive?
You can try writing them down on a diary. Make a list of your interest. Interests are those skills that can make you famous, rich and happy like painting, programming etc. Show your interests to the world on social platforms to gain fame, sell them or get a job to get rich and master your skills to be happy. Have some interest friends.
Basically, if you have a good body, wealth, character, behavior, manner, education, then you will have a personality that is safe and sound. People below your level will not mess with you and you won’t mess with people that are above you. But you will become someone who can deal with both the types because it’s not every day you get to meet and talk to the president and it’s seldom you need to avoid people that can harm you- rich and the poor.
Thank you for sticking to this post for such a long time. I feel humble enough to present this article to you. I would like to apologize if anybody was offended in this post. I can’t think more than this my friends. I would appreciate it if you left your valuable comments on this. Thanks, and may God bless you.

Has any one camped at the campground up in the mountain in Bear Valley? I can't find any details about it online, there's a recreation website, but it all says n/a

This is easily my favorite listening experience out the now 3 post I've done on this sub. Some of my favorite songs so far throughout the discography land on this post. You can probably guess most of them, but I found some very interesting tracks that I never heard of. From the very first listen to the first album I'll review here on the post, I've seen a big spark of creativity the band has never shown until that point. Sadly, this is by most fans and critics opinions their highest point of their careers. I'm not disrespecting any futures releases and already putting them down before I even listen to them but that's what it seems to be like. But I'm still genuinely excited for the next to come. Now, it's time to hear my takes from these 4 albums. Just remember that I only gave one listen per album so my ratings will definitely change overtime.
Summer Days (And Summer Nights!!): 8.3/10
FAVORITE SONGS: Girl Don’t Tell Me (9/10), California Girls (9/10), Then I Kissed Her (8.5/10), Help Me, Rhonda (8.5/10), You’re So Good to Me (8/10)
LEAST FAVORITE SONGS: Summer Means New Love (5.5/10), Amusement Parks U.S.A (6/10), And Your Dreams Come True (6.5/10)
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Beach Boys' Party!: 5.5/10
FAVORITE SONGS: Barbara Ann (8.5/10), You’ve Got to Hide Away Your Love (7/10), Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow, Hully Gully
LEAST FAVORITE SONGS: Medley: I Get Around/Little Deuce Coupe (4/10), Mountain of Love (4/10), I Should Have Known Better (4/10)
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Pet Sounds: 9.4/10
FAVORITE SONGS: Wouldn’t It Be Nice (10/10), I Know There’s an Answer (10/10), God Only Knows (10/10), Sloop John B (9.5/10), Caroline, No (9/10)
LEAST FAVORITE SONG: That’s Not Me (7.5/10)
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Smiley Smile: 8.4/10
FAVORITE SONGS: Good Vibrations (10/10), Vegetables (9/10), Wind Chimes (9/10), With Me Tonight (9/10)
LEAST FAVORITE SONGS: Wonderful (5/10), Whistle In (5.5/10), She’s Goin’ Bald (5.5/10), Gettin’ Hungry (6/10)
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If you have anything to say, I would love to know!
I know there's been a single released during this time and a couple of bonus tracks off of Smiley Smile and I've reviewed them so if you wanna know the scores just ask.
I've also made a playlist and starting tomorrow I'll be listening to it almost daily. It’s going to be hard though, I’ve been in love with my Radiohead playlist and I can’t stop listening to it lol.
Thanks to the people who has been giving their time to say their opinions as well. I thought these posts wouldn't be well liked by this community. Y'all are genuinely one of the friendliest music subs I've ever came across and I'm thankful for that!

I'll be in Great Barrington, MA with my wife and toddler from June 2-6th. I'm looking for ideas for fun things to do.
I grew up in New England (though I haven't spent much time at all in Western Mass) and currently live in the Pacific Northwest. I'm hoping to show them some of the natural beauty of the area. Also, looking for quick day trips in MA, CT, or NY.
Here are a few things I'm considering:
The Clark Institute; Beartown State Park; East Mountain State Park; Guthrie Center; MASS MOCA; Berkshire Botanical Garden; Melville’s Arrowhead; Shaker Farm; Emily Dickinson Museum; Amherst Farmers Market; Tanglewood (doesn't look like there are any shows, but maybe the grounds are worth exploring?)
Would really appreciate some more ideas, as well as thoughts on what's worth doing and not worth doing. Thank you!

My family and I were in a car accident at the end of January that totaled one of our cars. We’ve been putting off buying another car because prices and interest rates suck. Fortunately, we have been able to borrow my in-laws extra car, but we are finally realizing we just need to bite the bullet and make a purchase.
The Atlas is in the top 3 of vehicles we are looking at, and we honestly would’ve bought one already had I not read all the terrible reviews (Edmunds) and other commentary (aka the posts in /whatcarshouldIbuy).
I’ve only owned Japanese (Toyota/Honda/Acura) with the exception of our last totaled vehicle, which was a Volvo. German is totally new to us.
If we do take the leap of buying an Atlas, is there a specific year we should go for? We tend to always buy used, but in this current market buying new almost makes sense.
It’s main use will be hauling us, our daughter (and maybe 1 more kid in the future), and two dogs around — both short and long distances. We won’t be using it to tow. We do need AWD because my husband does a lot of snowboarding up at the mountain.
With all that said, any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated. I love the look, space, and overall feel of the Atlas and would love to make it our next family car, I’m just struggling with the mixed reviews.

I’ve always been a cynical skeptic, contrary and acerbic by nature, I feel that anything that’s immensely popular and gets rave reviews is probably nowhere near as good as it purports to be…
I always thought “meh, BOTW is just another mediocre adventure game with pretty graphics, pretty, but shallow” (I’ve never been a Zelda fan, not an RPG fan…)
I was wrong, at least in this case…
BOTW is an amazing masterpiece, the gameplay is so immersive, so engrossing, it slowly draws you into the world of Hyrule, and before you know it, it’s 3 AM (thankfully it’s the weekend, who needs sleep anyway? ;) )
The open-ness of the world is amazing, solutions to most problems are not scripted, and are open to interpretation… can’t get past that camp of Bokoblins blocking the road at the bottom of the hill? Climb to the apex of the hill, conjure a round bomb (the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?) roll it down the hill into the camp from safely atop the hill, and count to five! No, wait, …three!
And someone tell me how a 5.5” LCD screen (I’ve got the Lite…) can give me vertigo! Make me hold my breath while climbing a mountain, and just generally cause a height related ‘pucker factor’ when I’m lying on my bed, which sits solidly on box springs on the floor and is only about 2’ off the ground?
Climbing the Dueling Peaks to Shee Vanderbilt shrine is literally breathtaking! I just wish I was a tenth of a bit as fit as Link, is it normal to be envious of the fitness level of a group of pixels on a screen? ;)
Climbing that peak, having to balance grip, endurance, and the cold (Red ChuChu jelly seems to work serviceably as a heat source) had my senses tingling…
I know I’ve barely scratched the surface here, but this is the most immersive game I’ve ever played, it’s worth every accolade it’s received…

https://imgur.com/a/Lhce21W
I've posted my full bottles here before but I've been building up my decant collection. Here is what I have so far followed by some unhelpful reviews:
BOTTOM ROW (LEFT TO RIGHT)
1) Xerjoff 40 Knots- jerkoff scent from the jerkoff house. It’s a dark cola, not a sea breeze. It’s a pretentious billionaire who uses poor people as biomatter to fuel his boat, not a day at the beach.
2) Roja A Midsummer's Dream- this is like spending midsummer in an old person's closet. He has mothballs to keep the moths away and to keep his captives nauseous so they can’t make noise.
3) Louis Vutton Meteore- FULL BOTTLE SHORT LIST. Awesome scent, like Azzaro Chrome that doesn’t come from a rack store. Fresh and a little metallic, like an extra terrestrial who wears Timberlands.
4) Louis Vutton Afternoon Swim- FULL BOTTLE SHORT LIST. Is that a little armpit funk at the top of this? If it is, I don’t care because it smooths out into a citrusy bomb, giving it good longevity for me. It’s the funk that keeps it Crunk.
5) Tom Ford Costa Azzura- haven’t tried yet… Pretentious name,.plus, Italy fought against us in WWII
6) Parfums de Marley Greenley- very refreshing ok scent. It’s your typical fresh spiked with lovely green apple at the top. I’d buy it as a cheapie, not at the PdM price tag.
7) Creed Millesime Imperiale- f*** you, this is a Silver Mountain Water citrus flanker despite what these fragrance nerds out here say. “Oh but it’s not, it has a subtle..blah, blah, blah” cut the BS. It’s SMW with more fruit and less performance.
8) Goldfield and Banks Bohemian Lime- FULL BOTTLE SHORT LIST. This is a rich guy on his yacht who wears light linen pants and lets the kids play when at sea. This is a laid back rich guy, not the biomatter rich guy from 40 Knots.
9) Mancera Cedrat Boise Intense- it’s like Cedrat Boise… but Intense. It really is aptly named. It’s smokier and longer lasting. The smokiness has a bit of a burnt rubber smell..I don’t hate it. Smells like a Band Aid.
10) Roja Oceania- citrus and aquatic battle it out for supremacy. They both lose and we go home bored.
11) Roja Enigma- FULL BOTTLE SHORTLIST. This is Roja’s Pretentious BS fighting for a good cause. It's cola that sparkles more as time goes on. Great for the winter. People will automatically have an inferiority complex if they smell this on you.
TOP ROW:
12) Replica Mathca Meditation- it’s good, I guess. It definitely has an herbal note but it doesn’t make me feel like meditating.
13) Replica Sailing Day- THIS is what 40 Knots should smell like. It’s deep blue and refreshing. It also lasts 5 minutes. The 2nd-best Replica behind At the Barber’s.
14) City Rhythm Miami- if you smelled this in Miami, it would cloy you out of the state. Nice sweet scent but a little too deep for Miami swamp ass.
15) Terre d’Hermes Eau Intense Vetiver- this is like Tom Ford Grey Vetiver’s disappointing brother. You don’t hate him but you don’t mention him to your friends because his existence is so underwhelming.
16) Roja Vetiver- this is a smokier Grey Vetiver. It’s Grey Vetiver’s 2nd brother who ended up going away to art college and now lives a Bohemian lifestyle. He’s just kind of there not offending anyone but not taking a stand for anything either.
17) Tom Ford Fougere d'Argent- this is Beau de Jour’s more laid-back brother. He’s a little smoother, a little less serious than BdJ but you may want to hang out with him more because he’s more accepting.
18) Creed Viking- this is a middle-aged man who thinks trading Crypto currency makes you an alpha male. He looks for wives on foreign bride directories.
19) Creed Erolfa, Himalaya, Royal Water, Bois de Porugal- haven’t tried yet.
20) Parfum de Marley Galloway and Ispazon- haven’t tried… PdM has the most meaningless, Pretentious names.
21) PdM Pegasus- this is Creed Original Santal’s inferior twin. It got the shitty half of the DNA strand. It is only saved by the fact that the DNA strand is really good, so its floor is high.
22) MFK 724- interesting scent.. floral and aquatics battle for supremacy. The battle creates a beautiful symphony. It’s probably not worth the MFK price but it smells and performs good.
23) Louis Vutton L’Immensite- FULL BOTTLE SHORT LIST. I haven’t smelled a bad LV scent yet. This one reminds me a lot of Bohemian Lime. When it gets warmer, I’m going to wear this and BL on alternating days to see the difference.
24) Louis Vutton L’Orage- haven’t tried yet, they misspelled Orange.

"When you work for us, doctor, you take on part of our mission to help make the world a healthier place." His pompus and over-selling tone was already quite annoying, but I knew this was a great career opportunity that I just couldn't afford to miss.
He continued; "We have many international-roles available that can give you..."
"No, no, that's fine. I have only just graduated, sir, so working here at HQ is best for me."
He breifly curved his bottom lip downwards, "Hmph...fair enough. Okay doctor, how do you feel about a one day trial-run?"
"Trial-run? When would you like me to start?"
He leaned nonchalantly back in his chair, throwing his hands behind his head. "How's now strike you?"
"Erm, well, I, er..." I stumbled over my words as I attempted to shrug off his unnerving eyes. He wanted me to answer faster. "...Yes." I confidently stated.
"Ah Great! Fantastic!" His voice and movements matched that of a happy salesman hitting way over target. He quickly stood from his chair and made his way around the desk to shake my hand. "Welcome aboad, Dr. Loft! Well, temporarily, but, ha-ha...Here, let me show you to your first project."
After a short introduction to my lab-partner, we had a quick overview of my job, and in less than ten-minutes, I was apparently "ready." I clicked the button on my recorder and began documenting my findings.
"This is Dr. Loft reviewing case number-204. It is to be noted that all admitted patients be kept behind the three inch security glass at all times... Day one of the injection containing the compound-204.7, patient-#32 is experiencing high fever, high heart rate, chattering teeth and vomiting."
I stepped forward to the next glass cell.
"Okay, moving on to patient-#33, who is on the second day of the injection. It's looking like by day two, a red and itchy rash appears. There's evidence of the rash on the face and throughout the rest of the body. The patient has become highly irrational and delusional.
Patient-#34 is on day three...the rash has developed into abscesses that seem to be filling with fluid, most likely some sort of infectious pus...Hmmm...seems like some of the abscesses are falling off and taking most, if not all, of the remaining layers of skin along with it. The patient seems to be in excruciating pain." I closed my eyes and took a heavy gulp. My mind began to race and started producing terrifying images of just what exactly might be in the next cell...especially considering the horrendous sight of patient-#34.
I hang my head, open my eyes and stare at my feet. Thank god this was just a one day trial.
I take a deep breath and step forward to the next cell.
"Okay, patient-#35...The compound at day five..." I stopped in my tracks. The cell was completely empty. It was perfectly clean too, like nothing had ever been in this cell before...
Then I felt the needle in my neck...

YAY! Chapter 4 already done and ready for posting! WOOO! I really hope that you enjoy it, dear readers!
I've Been Reincarnated as a Bunny Girl?! (Chapter 4)
by
ShadowDragon88
"I love when the merchant caravan comes to town!" Valay cheered from where he was sitting on Kiana's shoulders, making his soon-to-be sixteen-year-old big sister wince. At age nine, the twins were being accompanied by Kiana as they walked through main street in town. Twice a year the merchant caravan, often accompanied by adventurers or mercenaries as guards, came to Starlight Rose. Ever since the destruction of The Spire, the town had started to see more traffic as travelers no longer had to worry about traveling through the narrow gaps in the mountain range, past a source of evil. In the six years since its destruction, Starlight Rose had bloomed and doubled its population.
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Walking past the stalls and the games, Kiana smiled, feeling a festive atmosphere. She looked down at Malay, who was wearing a seafoam green dress, the young wolbet not caring that it had been a hand-me-down from Kiana, and clutching a giant blue stuffed fox almost as big as she was. Kiana was wearing a bright yellow sundress, having stated that on such a warm day, it was the best option to help keep from getting overheated. Her mother and sister had both smiled knowingly, not the least bit tricked by Kiana's professions. Kiana would often just not think about it.
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Valay, in contrast, was wearing a simple red shirt and brown shorts and some small stick-on bandages on his shins and knees. The young boy wolbet was holding a purple dragon plush. Kiana had won them from a game booth. It was the classic 'throw a ball at a stack of bottles to knock them over' game, and like a cliche, she had seen her little brother throw a ball, hit the stack in the dead center, and they didn't move an inch. That's when big sister had stepped in. Kiana looked back at the booth... or rather where it had been. The attendant was still standing there, staring in a daze, as only half of the structure still remained.
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"I'm glad you two like it," Kiana said, picking her brother up off her shoulders and setting him down next to his twin. Mirabelle rubbed up against his leg, making him giggle. The tiny snake, that had been small enough to sit coiled comfortably in the palm of a younger Kiana's hand, was now the size of a Saint Barnard, and just as affectionate as one. The blue-green snake had a tendency to try and sneak food, mainly cookies, when she thought she could get away with it, and had developed quite the set of sad puppy eyes when caught.
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"So Kiana," Malay asked, looking up with her forest green eyes, a twinkle in them, "gunna go meet with Davtio later?"
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Kiana smiled and rolled her eyes. Malay loved asking Kiana about her love life, or rather lack thereof. The older girl reached over and ruffled her little sister's headfur.
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"Davtio and I are just friends," she said, having the day before gone on a walk with the elf-boy from her graduating class, gently letting him down after he had made his courting intentions known. The day after Kiana's birthday, which would be two days after the biannual festival, she was going to be leaving Starlight Rose to become a traveling adventurer. Davtio, with his long and practically glowing golden locks and eyes the color of the deep blue sea, had been disappointed, but he understood.
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Jorba the goblin boy, however, had been far less formal as well as far less respectful with his own declaration. Said green-skinned bat-eared boy had walked over to where Kiana was retying her new forest green boots and given her bottom a swat, just below her cotton tail, puffing out his chest and informing Kiana that he had decided she was the finest female in their age group in the town and therefore, will be his woman. Slowly, Kiana had straightened herself and turned around, her eyes glowing with a blue light. With a swipe of her legs and a downward punch, that Kiana had been careful not to be too hard with, she effectively punched the disgusting goblin, literally, into the ground. Still alive and not crippled, but definitely in a lot of pain.
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"I know that he liiiiiikes you, though," Malay said, rocking back and forth on her heels, reaching down to stroke Mirabelle's head, making the large reptile loosely wrap herself around the young wolbet girl's ankles.
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"I don't feel the same way and I told him as much, so we've agreed to remain friends," Kiana said, making her sister let out an exasperated sigh.
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"GAH! That is so just like you, Kiki!" Malay said, using the name she and Valay had called Kiana shortly after they had first learned how to talk. "Someone likes you, but you're just happy being just friends!"
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"Hey, friends are awesome to have," Kiana said, picking Malay up and setting her on her shoulders, taking Valay's hand/paw into her own. Malay just rolled her eyes and continued to hug her fox.
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"So," Valay piped up, glad that the girls had quit talking about romance stuff, "whatcha gunna buy with the money you saved up?" Valay was speaking of the jingling pouch of coins on Kiana's hip. She had earned extra coin around town doing things like babysitting and helping Mr. Fresto build a new stone wall around his garden, and the like. Making deliveries for the new offta restaurant in town had been fun for the teen bunny, and not because offta was the name for what turned out to be pizza in this world either! Tapping into her powers, she was able to sprint all across town and even over to Lake Phantom and back, often in under a minute.
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"Well, I've already bought a bunch of supplies and a pack for my journey," Kiana said, taking note of Valay's ears drooping a bit, as well as sensing that Malay's ears were probably doing the same.
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"So... you really mean to leave?" Malay asked from Kiana's shoulders. Kiana smiled and rubbed her little sister's leg, before rubbing her little brother's head.
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"Yeah, I really do. But like I've told papa... repeatedly, actually, I'll come back to visit a whole bunch! And I'll be able to tell you all some cool stories about my travels!" Kiana said, brightening their moods.
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"Are you going to learn magic?" Malay asked. As the twins edged closer towards their tenth birthday, that meant that they were nearing when they'd be old enough to take an exam to determine their magical abilities. Malay had accidentally turned a handful of flowers to stone when she sneezed at age seven. She also accidentally set a patch of grass on fire just outside her bedroom window after a bad dream a couple months back. According to a very excited Felixin, these were signs that Malay had a high aptitude for magic, and might actually be a sorceress, someone born with raw magical power within them.
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Felixin went on to explain that anyone, with study and practice and skill, could eventually learn to use magic, but people like that fell under the category of a wizard. He went on to explain that witches were similar to wizards, but were more like hippies out dancing in the woods. Sorcerers and sorceresses were born with raw magical power already in them, that as they grew older, they needed to learn how to control, lest it become dangerous to them and those around them.
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Druids, he continued with his explanation, were similar to witches, but less studious and more concentrating on attuning themselves to the energies of the surrounding natural world. He also said they had a tendency to eat certain mushrooms and fungus that they claimed could open one's third eye, but her father dismissed that notion as them just being addled by the chemicals in said fungi. Clerics were also magical, but their magic derived from whichever god they'd devoted themselves to, much like paladins, but with more study and significantly less combat training.
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Finally, there were warlocks. Felixin was not shy about making his feelings regarding warlocks known. Instead of taking the time to learn and practice and concentrate and actually earn their magical power, they were rare people who instead bound themselves to an entity of great magical power, often something very sinister. In exchange for this power, they would do their new master's bidding, oftentimes not even fully understanding why such entities would want such requests done. He even recounted one warlock whose only task was to go out on the road and find a specific boulder, and then move it three inches south. Said warlock just shrugged when asked why, and stated that it was the only task his master ever asked of him.
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What Felixin apparently didn't know was that there was a final category. The monk. When the master dragon monk had come to evaluate Kiana, after he had recovered from his shock, he had explained that monks were ordinary people who trained both their minds and their bodies. They would learn to tap into their inner power, their ki, and harness it through their bodies. This was of course after years and years of training and meditation. Of the different kinds of monks, the dragon monks were the most powerful. Once they passed a certain threshold, they would become as powerful as a dragon; which kind of dragon depended on which advanced school of training they most identified with. According to the master, Kiana practically oozed the aura of a storm dragon, which was capable of moving as fast as lightning.
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"Kiki!" Valay called, tugging on Kiana's hand. She shook herself and smiled down at the wolbet boy. Kiana looked up in time to see Mirabelle stealthily reaching up at a nearby picnic table where those sitting weren't paying any attention and was trying to drag a plate with an entire rotisserie chicken on it nearer to the edge. She snapped her finger, making Mirabelle recoil and slither right back over to her legs, making the sad eyes at her. Kiana ignored the big orange orbs with the black slits and returned her attention to her brother.
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"Sorry, buddy, I guess I got lost in my memories there for a sec."
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The boy rolled his eyes and pointed to a large red and white tent that covered a wide area. There were no walls, and plenty of people were milling about inside, looking at the various goods. What had caught Valay's eye were the weapons. Already the boy had begged their mother to teach him swordfighting and, only recently, Pumala had agreed. She took note of how quickly Valay had taken to practicing the basics every day after school, always starting back to stance one. Kiana was certain that he was going to grow up to be quite the fighter.
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"Okay, let's take a look and see what they've got for sale," Kiana said, turning them to an opening, Mirabelle following close behind. Together they walked down the set up shelves and displays. Valay was entranced by the swords and daggers, especially the throwing knives and shurikens. Scratch that, Kiana thought to herself with a giggle as she set her little sister down to look at the magical staves, thinking about how much Valay loved hiding and planting stink bombs for pranks and using smoke bombs to make his escapes. He'll probably grow up to be a great ninja or something.
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Keeping her younger siblings and Mirabelle in sight, Kiana started to look through the different weapons. There were plenty made from low-quality materials that would probably break upon the first real usage, including an ornate-looking gold sword encrusted with jewels. She stopped just past the flails and nunchucks, spying several different tetsubos. The tetsubo was a weapon of the ancient samurai, at least that was the case for her home world. They were long, thick wooden clubs, in this case as tall as Kiana was, so around five feet in length. Going down the sides of the weapons, stopping only at the ends at the tops and just before the handles at the bottoms, were rounded or spiked metal rivets.
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She pushed past some ornately carved ones, and spotted what appeared to be a plain brown tetsubo. It was polished and its rivets were spiked and black. The handle was wrapped in a comfortable-feeling leather. Some instinct deep within her liked this weapon, it liked it very much. Carrying it with one hand, she approached a man wearing a lapis lazuli-colored turban, and some matching lapis with gold trim robes. His skin was a pitch-black, with a shock of long white hair, signifying that he was a dark elf.
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"How much for the tetsubo?" Kiana asked, hearing Valay and Malay hurrying to her side. She could practically feel their wide eyes staring in wonder at the weapon.
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The merchant smiled, his purple eyes twinkling. "So this is the weapon you have selected? Quite the interesting choice."
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"Uh, thanks?" Kiana said, now looking the tetsubo over and wondering if it was cursed, or if the guy before her was going to turn out to be a demon or something and that every item in the shop was cursed in some karmic way like the old cliche.
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"It is made from a healthy branch of steelwood. Note that I said made, and not carved. As exquisite as a weapon or armor made from carved steelwood is, it pales in comparison to one that is made with secret techniques to sing the form it was always supposed to be straight from the trees themselves. Doing so ensures that any weapon or armor crafted this way will never dull or break. And the price will, of course, reflect as much..."
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"Ah," Kiana said, understanding what the merchant before her was getting at.
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"That particular tetsubo I cannot part with for less than a platinum," he said.
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"Sold," Kiana said, pulling open her pouch and jangling it as her hand disappeared inside. After a moment of her rooting around and sifting coins aside, she found what she was looking for. Out she pulled a single platinum coin. Her brother and sister, as well as the merchant, looked at Kiana in shock.
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"Where'd you get a platinum piece?" Malay asked, watching transfixed as Kiana handed the coin over to the still stunned dark elf, who took it and slipped it into a pocket in his robes.
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"I found it just outside of town, when I beat down a giant shambling plant creature-thing. I think it ate a traveling merchant or something, 'cause I found a pouch with ten of them in it," Kiana whispered with a wink. She looked up to see that the merchant had the coin back in his hands and was examining it with a jeweler's loupe, nodding in approval as he pocketed both and gave Kiana an award-winning smile.
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"A happy transaction," he said, his voice much more jovial than it had been, "please, look around some more for any more weapons that might catch your eye. And please, remember to ask for F'nnickly the Weapon Merchant if ever you're in the cities of Thassles, Ghostflower, or Midnight Tree. I have shops in all of them!"
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"I certainly will," Kiana said, meaning it. She imagined she would be seeing more of this F'nnickly on her travels. She then turned to her brother and sister and knelt down, while the merchant turned to address another customer. "Alright, you two, did you guys find anything you wanted? I'll buy it for you."
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"But... your birthday money?" Valay asked, looking torn. Kiana gave him and then his twin a kiss on their foreheads.
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"You're my cute little brother and sister. If I want to spend money on you guys, I will," she said with a warm smile that only grew wider at the sight of the two now sporting excited grins. They both ran off and started to look more earnestly at things that had caught their eyes.
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"Papa probably won't be too happy with me buying them weapons, but I'm sure he and Mama will teach them how to be responsible with them," she thought. She was still crouched to the twins' level and was about to stand back up, when she spotted something else that caught her eye. It was a pair of seemingly plain polished brass knuckles lying inside a small glass display case on a shelf to her left. They looked to be made of a bright silvery metal. Opening the case and picking them up, they weighed next to nothing, but like the tetsubo, something about them called out to Kiana on a level she couldn't quite identify. Smiling, she stood up with them and tapped F'nnickly on his shoulder.
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After learning that they were a pair of master-crafted mithril brass knuckles, Kiana bought them for five hundred gold, which was just half of another platinum piece, so she got some change to fill her coin pouch with. Valay was the first to return, carrying a set of shuriken that were enchanted to return to the thrower's hand with a snap of their fingers, a steel dagger, and a chain and sickle that F'nnickly identified as a kusarigama. Kiana had to stop Valay from spinning the weighted end as well as the sickle. Malay returned with a corkscrew oak carved staff that ended with a glowing purple jewel at the top, floating just above the tip. Right below it were human faces carved in, all with sinister-looking grins. It was a swamp dragon staff, meaning that it was great with poison, disease, and paralysis-related spells. With some practice, a dedicated magic user could use it to help with healing very nasty injuries and infections. Together, their purchases ended up costing Kiana another platinum piece plus another fifty gold.
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Kiana smiled down at her beloved little brother and little sister, seeing their excitement as they marveled at their new equipment. Mirabelle, not understanding just why they were excited, was still wriggling happily nonetheless. Kiana looked around at her town, beyond the merchant booths and the games, looking at all the sights she had grown up again with, feeling a pang of sadness at knowing in two days, she was leaving. She saw all the familiar faces of her neighbors and friends and everyone else in this town she had grown to love. But it was time, and she knew it. And she had meant what she had said, she was going to visit often. Plus, she'd have Mirabelle with her, so she didn't expect she'd feel too homesick.
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Two Days Later...
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Kiana's travel pack was fully loaded with spare clothes, food, her mithril knuckles, a couple health potions (not that she was expecting to have to use them), a canteen of fresh water, some alchemical flameless torches, some books, other assorted supplies and, when she was certain no one was looking, Mr. Wolfy. She grabbed her tetsubo and looked at her bedroom, smiling at the bookshelf filled with all sorts of titles and books about faraway lands. Her bed was made, the soft pink comforter that made cold winter nights just so warm. Her closet that was closed, containing a bit fewer dresses than it did a couple days ago, with them safely packed away in her bag. Sighing, she exited.
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She was wearing her forest green boots with gold trim up the laces. They matched her green and gold hot pants and matching halter top. Kiana hadn't been too sure about leaving her midriff open like this, exposing her grey back and white tummy, but she had to admit that she had a pretty decent range of movement. And besides, compared to some other female, and some male, adventurers out there wearing what were basically bikinis or lingerie, this was much less revealing.
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Out in the living room, her family was waiting. Pumala stood there, holding Kiana's platinum star-shaped badge, signifying the girl was a registered adventurer. Valay had asked Kiana about the badge that had been hand-delivered by guildmaster Graval the day before, the human man wishing the new adventurer a happy birthday. Kiana had explained that she was now officially an adventurer, but a freelance adventurer. She then had to explain that the local guild was a branch of the international inter-adventurer guild association. For freelance adventurers, a platinum ranking was the highest ranking they could achieve. If they wished to rank higher, they needed to join an official guild, like Unicorn Riot or Phoenix Phist. Basically, the guild in their town was just for beginners. The bunny girl was considering joining a real guild, but wanted to first travel and do some missions, and then look in on the different guilds and find out which one she would be most comfortable with.
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"Go out there and have an awesome adventure!" Valay said, his voice choking up a bit. He looked away and wiped his eyes before hugging Kiana.
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"Yeah, and be sure to tell us all about the places you go and the things you do!" Malay said, her own eyes moist. Kiana felt the hot prickle of tears at the back of hers and furiously blinked them away as she returned their hugs.
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"Count on it," she said with a smile. The two letting go, Pumala stepped forward and pinned the badge on Kiana's halter top, her own eyes misty.
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"I'm so proud of you, honey-bunny," she said, now doing the hugging. Kiana hugged back, having to blink away some tears again.
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"I love you, Mama," she said, being kissed on her forehead.
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"I love you too, baby," Pumala said. The older bunny woman, who now had a slight baby bump again, stepped back as her large wolf-man husband strode forward. He tried to look stern, but the silent tears streaming down his face ruined the impression. He threw his arms around Kiana and wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug.
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"Oh, my little princess is going awaaaaaaaaay!" he sobbed, much to everyone's collective embarrassment.
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"I'll be back to visit, Papa," Kiana said, trying to gently pry his arms off.
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"Be careful out there on the road, sweetie!" he sobbed again, his tail tucked between his legs.
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"I will, Papa, I promise." Kiana smiled as he let go, and walked to the door. She turned and waved to her family, before turning back and opening the door. Just after she took her first step, she felt a jolt and something wrap around her right leg. Looking down, she saw her father, clinging to her leg like a toddler.
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"Feli, let go of Kiana's leg right this instant!" Pumala called, while the twins, still saddened by their big sister's departure, shared a giggle at their father's antics.
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"Never!" he called back, tightening his grip. Kiana rolled her eyes and smiled back at her mom.
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"Don't worry, he'll fall off or I'll manage to shake him off before I get to the bridge," she said, starting to walk, albeit with an awkward gait. She whistled and Mirabelle, now sporting a new pink ribbon around her neck, came slithering after. Kiana's friends were near the gate for a send-off, which was made a little awkward by the still sobbing grown wolf clinging to the now mildly annoyed bunny girl's leg. She thanked them all and hugged each one, before stopping at the gate itself. She raised the leg her father was on, and began to shake. After a few moments, Felixin went flying and landed in the dirt with an 'OMPH!' Kiana waited as he got up and dusted himself off, wiping his face with the sleeve of his red robes, and walked over to her.
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"I love you, Princess," he said, looking Kiana in the eyes and forcing a smile, "from the very day you were born, you were always my little princess, and it's just so hard to see you go. But please, know that I love you, and that not only am I already proud of what you've managed to accomplish, but that I know I'll be proud of the things you do out in the world."
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Kiana, fresh tears of her own falling, pulled her Papa into one more hug, now the one making it a bone-crushing hug.
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"I love you, Papa. I'm so lucky that I got to have you and Mama for parents. I'll be back before you know it," she said, wiping her own eyes. Felixin stepped back and continued to smile at his little girl. Kiana smiled back and, snapping her fingers to pull Mirabelle away from a gate guard's unattended bag lunch, the two set off, with Kiana turning back once to wave goodbye, before they finally crossed the bridge, and were on their way out into the wide world.
Name: Kiana
Species: Beasta (Rabbit-Kin)
Age: 16
Skills: Sibling Wrangler, Babysitter, Puppy-Dog Eyes, Master Martial Arts, Brawling, Heavy Weapon Proficiency, Sarcasm Mastery, Eyerolling Mastery, Beast Taming Level 3.
Class: (Official) Master-Level Dragon Monk: Storm Dragon School
Str: 140
Int: 12
Dex: 139
Cha: 12
Wis: 10
Con: 170
Languages: Common
Equipment: Adventurer's Pack, Steelwood Tetsubo, Mastercraft Mithril Knuckles (x2), Rope (25 Ft.), Canteen (Full), Road Rations, Spare Clothes, Bedroll, Health Potion (x2), Books (x3)
Sniffle. And there you have it, folks! I loved writing about Starlight Rose, but now it's time for us, along with Kiana, to explore the wide world! Thanks for reading this new chapter, and be sure to consider leaving a comment or review.
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I’m trying to figure out if I belong in Christianity and animism.
I grew up in Catholicism but never liked Jesus because the way the Catholic Church portrayed him, he was mean to his disciples, spoke in boring parables that made him seem mysterious and metaphorical instead of saying directly what he meant, yelled at Thomas for doubting him, told people to turn the other cheek, told his apostles to sell their worldly possessions and follow him, passively submitted to his crucifixion like a doormat after praying to his father in heaven who made him suffer a 40-day trek through the wilderness, hung out with riffraff like prostitutes and lepers and tax collectors, and allowed people to crucify him instead of running away, beating his captors to a pulp, or smashing the cross to smithereens with his divine magical powers. I didn’t want to be like Christ. He associated with the dregs of society but I want to hang out with people at the top of the tree, not the bottom of the barrel.
I’m childfree by choice and hate the commandment to be fruitful and multiply. Those paper-thin communion wafers tasted like cardboard. You’d think that if Jesus wanted more people to ingest his body, he would declare that priests should get bread from a bakery so people would want to eat it.
I hated when the catechism teacher in Sunday school said we were all brothers and sisters. I didn’t like anybody in my CCD class, so why should I be obligated to acknowledge anyone as family when I didn’t enjoy their company and wasn’t even biologically related to them? When we watched monotonous movies about Saints, I was glad when they died, but I loved watching VeggieTales and dramatic re-enactments of Bible stories on TV. I was fascinated by the action-packed Old Testament: Jonah getting swallowed by a whale, Daniel escaping unscathed from the lions den, and Noah building the boat to save the animals when God sent the flood. Then there is Mendelssohn‘s Elijah with the contest of supernatural powers, the famine, Elijah ascending into heaven in a fiery chariot, and God appearing to him after the storm, earthquake and fire!
I liked the story of Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus in the manger, but that was it. Jesus turned loaves of bread into fishes and water into wine, preached a sermon on a mountaintop, walked on water, and exhorted everyone to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, take care of the poor and destitute, help the needy, and shelter the homeless? Yawn. I wondered who changed the rules and substituted the interesting God of the Old Testament with this hippie Jesus of the New Testament, but I liked salvation because even though I didn’t know why I had to be saved, I wanted to go to heaven, and Jesus had the best campaign slogan: “I suffered and died so you don’t have to.”
I love to sing. Sermons and gospel readings were boring, and the only time church services were fun was when I sang at choir practice and certain parts of weekly Mass. I learned to sing in harmony from our Director in the choir loft, and when I was confirmed because that’s what you did, my confirmation name was Saint Cecilia, the patron saint of music. I never liked the sound of the organ. I prefer piano, handbells, and orchestral instruments.
The stories of the Good Samaritan and the Prodigal Son grated on my nerves. I never liked the big JC, so I left Christianity for paganism because it’s marketed as a group of religions that espouse reverence for nature, but after lurking on online pagandom and attending multiple events in person, I discovered we had nothing in common. When pagans say they like dance, they aren’t talking ballet, and when they say they like chant, they don’t mean Gregorian. Pagans enjoy environmental activism, social justice, going to campgrounds and roughing it in tents, the folk cultures of indigenous ethnic groups, drum circles, bonfires, homesteading, magical creatures and pre-Christian deities that aren’t warm or friendly, creative writing, divination, guided meditation and visualization, Science Fiction and fantasy, and storytelling. None of these things appeal to me. I find mythology and folklore terrifying, and pagans used foul language. I found the rituals pretentious and the community loud-and-proud, obnoxious, condescending, and unabashedly weird. Some pagans spoke glibly and openly about selling sex toys, called me a prude for my conservative morals and values, and made fun of me when I didn’t want to dig in the dirt.
When I think of storytelling, I think of reading my beloved Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I decided I was an animist because I felt a connection to nature in those books and through music. I’m a soprano and a classical pianist. I thought pagans would be attracted to the repertoire I adore. There’s plenty of early music from the Renaissance in the 16th century, and oodles of program music from Romanticism in the 19th century about nature. Imagine my disappointment when there were no talking points to be had at Pagan gatherings for me. I was told, “You should go back to Christianity where you belong” or, “There’s a movement called New-Age. Go join that.” I tried it, and I like the concept of higher and lower energy vibrations, but nothing else resonated with me and the flaky new-agers messed me up for awhile, so I decided to give paganism another try.
I combed through every cultural pantheon you can shake a stick at, but the only person I click with is Morgan Le Fay, and after meeting her in a couple dreams, I set out to find people who work with her, but couldn’t find anybody because I’m a hard polytheist, and the people I located were into goddess spirituality, which isn’t my cup of tea.
Druidry seemed like a good fit because of its emphasis on artistic expression and enjoyment of nature, so I signed up for a druid course with an organization, but when I spoke to the bard candidates the same way I talked to my friends at Conservatory, I was banned from the email list because the moderator said I was judgmental, so I got a refund.
I love the conservative lifestyle of Christianity. No drinking, smoking, swearing, drugs, premarital sex, or promiscuity. Virginity is sacred to me, and that’s why I like the conservative stance of waiting until marriage. I thought Roman polytheists would share it because they have the Vestal Virgins. I love the architecture of cathedrals with flying buttresses, stained glass windows, gorgeous statuary, and vaulted ceilings. I love a music ministry with professional choirs and instrumentalists. I love music of the European classical tradition even if it’s in the Christian era. I adore Morgan Le Fay but not Arthurian legend. I like nature but don’t want to revive or reconstruct anything. My connection to nature is sitting outside on a sunny day enjoying the birds and other life around me. I talk to Morgan out loud, tell her about my life, enjoy learning mundane knowledge and have advanced degrees in music performance, so I thought that was enough to qualify as a druid. I’m a polytheist and believe deities are separate like us and live regular life in different realms.
Classical music is intrinsically woven into the fabric of who I am, and it needs to be part of my spiritual community. If you find anybody who works with Morgan le Fay, let me know.

I’m looking for a new stand bag and I’ve pretty much settled on the Sun Mountain 4.5 LS 14-way. I think it offers everything for the most part that I’m looking for in a bag. Just curious as to what the overall results have been with Sun Mountain bags? I’ve never tried one but have read several positive reviews. And if anyone has any experience with the 4.5 LS please let me know what you thought about it.

As discussed previously, in Zhuangzi we can find some core values of individualism, and it is not inappropriate to call it Zhuangzian individualism. However, just like all varieties of “individualism” which appear in different times and places, each with its own connotations and characteristics, due to its particular social-cultural and philosophical background as mentioned above, the Zhuangzian individualism also has its own special characteristics, which make it a unique pattern of individualism and distinguishable from some of its Western counterparts.
First, Zhuangzi does not understand “individual” in a Western metaphysical way; in other words, he does not think “individual” as an abstract and permanent “Being,” like an individual “atom.” This makes it different from atomistic or abstract individualism, such as that of Thomas Hobbes. According to Chad Hansen, individuals in the Western conceptual structure are “fixed, interchangeable units” (Hansen 1985: 36). However, for Zhuangzi, individuals are neither “fixed” nor “interchangeable.” Zhuangzi has a dynamic view on individuals. Individuals do exist, but they may change their features and property during their time of existing, so an individual human being is not something similar to a “fixed” atom, nor a constant “matter-in-motion.” In Chapters 25 and 27 of the Zhuangzi, two paragraphs describe QU Boyu and Confucius respectively: as “growing up to his sixty years old, he has changed sixty times. There was nothing what he called right in the beginning had not been rejected as wrong by himself in the end. We do not know whether what he called right today was just what he considered as wrong when he was 59 years old” (Zhuangzi 25: 51–52; 27: 10–11). So QU Boyu and Confucius, as individuals, change during their lives in both body and mind; they are dynamic and living beings, rather than “fixed” atoms.
While individuals are changeable, they are not interchangeable, because every individual is unique and different. In his discussion of the ethics of difference in the Zhuangzi, HUANG Yong has keenly perceived that Zhuangzi “pays attention to the differences among human beings in terms of their ideas and ideals, desires and preferences, and habits and customs, etc” (Huang 2010a: 71), and “The central idea of Zhuangzi’s ethics of difference is to respect the unique natural tendencies of different things” (Huang 2010b: 131062). A resumption of this kind of ethics of difference is that every individual is unique and different. Therefore, human individuals are not “fixed unites” that are “interchangeable” in a social mechanism. They may not function in the same way and play the same role under the same situation, as indicated in Zhuangzi’s allegories:
[A big house beam may be used to breach a city wall, but it cannot be used to plug a small hole, which is to say the implements are different. A swift horse may gallop thousand miles a day, but for catching rats it is not as good as a weasel, which is to say their skills are different. An owl can catch fleas and discern the tip of a hair at night, but in the daytime with its eyes open it can’t even see the mountains, which is to say that natures are different. (Zhuangzi, 17:35–37)]
Therefore, no unified principles or norms can be applied to all of them without discrimination, as indicated in Zhuangzi: “Although the legs of a duck are too short, if we try to extend them the duck will be scared and worry. Although the legs of a crane are too long, if we try to cut them short the crane will be in horror and sadness” (Zhuangzi 8:9–10). These allegories in the Zhuangzi, as HUANG Yong pointed out, metaphorically tell us how human beings should act with each other (Huang 2010b: 1057) and be aware of the different needs, desires, and preferences of individuals. Actually, if individuals are treated as only interchangeable atoms, or just as “matter-in-motion,” it will unavoidably lead to certain general assertions on them, as well as some common principles or norms to regulate them. In terms of social politics, that will be social laws, regulations, and moral standards. This is a trend that Zhuangzi opposes. In other words, in the Zhuangzi, individuals are treated more particularly and respectively than in other theories of individualism in which individuals are understood as fixed, abstract, and interchangeable “atoms.”
Second, Zhuangzi thinks that the only thing that an individual mind or the “self” has to conform to is the unlimited and indefinable Dao. This actually has the significance of releasing the individual mind into a totally free and unconstrained realm of nothingness or emptiness, thus endorsing an infinite openness to any possible development of all individuals. Erica Brindley points out that Zhuangzi advocates conformism to the Dao: “individual relationship to the Dao is characterized not by dependence on political institutions or the central figure of the sovereign, but by direct, individual access to it through one’s own person” (Brindley 2010: 55). At first look, this is quite similar to Western religious individualism, which claims that the individual’s relation to God is direct and unmediated, and an individual builds his or her own relationship with God by self-scrutiny without any intermediaries such as a church or a sect. However, Dao is not the God. The essence of Dao is only everything’s “zi ran” or spontaneousness. The spontaneity of everything works automatically and perfectly, which is Dao. Dao does not have any will or intention, as God does. There is no clear definition of Dao in the Zhuangzi, except some descriptions of its nothingness, emptiness, infiniteness, and doing nothing: “The Dao has no boundaries” (Zhuangzi 2: 55); “The great Dao cannot be named” (Zhuangzi 2: 59); “It has no action or forms” (Zhuangzi 6: 29). As Brindley has also correctly observed, Dao is not a concrete, bounded entity; it is unbounded nothingness (Brindley 2010: 58). Therefore, individuals’ conforming to Dao or being together with Dao amounts to being in a realm of the boundless and limitless nothingness, or, using Zhuangzi’s words, wandering in a “wu he you zhi xiang 無何有之鄉” or “the country of nothingness” (Zhuangzi 1: 46; 7: 9–10; 32: 21). In this “country of nothingness,” everything moves and changes spontaneously along with the cosmos, which is Dao. Therefore, conforming to Dao does not mean conforming to an outside authority; it means to let the individual mind wander in an infinite realm and become what CHEN Guying has emphasized, the “open mind” (Chen 2009). Individuals in this realm are totally free and open, much freer than when bound with each other by common moralities or social contracts. It is just like the fish that, having once run aground, helped each other with their saliva and slime to survive; but it would be much better to let them return to their mutually disinterested original situation: “forget with each other in the rivers and lakes” (Zhuangzi 6: 22–23). It is because it conforms to Dao rather than to God or any other religious divinity that Zhuangzian individualism is not likely to be carried to the extreme and become absolutely egocentric and intolerant to others, like the Calvinists have demonstrated (Lukes 1973: 84), since conforming to Dao only means unlimited freedom and unbounded openness to the spontaneousness of every individual and unique thing.
Furthermore, since there is no need for a persistent or stubborn attitude toward anything when the individual spirit is conforming to the free, open, and dynamic Dao, one will also keep an open, free, and flexible attitude toward one’s own “completed mind” (chen xin 成心) or already constructed “self.” This is what happened in the process of “fasting of the mind” and “sitting and forgetting,” in two episodes in Chapters 4 and 6, when YAN Hui, Confucius’s favorite disciple, practiced a kind of self meditation under the instruction of his Master and finally reached the advanced stage of forgetting his body and mind (Zhuangzi 4: 24–34; 6: 89–93). Nevertheless, the so called “forgetting one’s self”—for instance, at the beginning of Chapter 2, when NANGUO Ziqi says to YANCHENG Ziyou: “Now I have lost myself” (Zhuangzi 2: 3)—does not mean that the individual “self” has totally dissolved or disappeared, physically or mentally. Just as some scholars have correctly analyzed (Chen 2001; Yang 2005), there are two different “selves” in the sentence “Now I have lost myself.” The first is the original and innate self, which is as free, open, and spontaneous as the Dao itself; the other is the socially constructed self, which is fixed, closed, and constrained by his or her worldly existence. What should be forgotten and lost is the latter, not the former. Otherwise, we would not be able to understand why in other places Zhuangzi mocks and denounces those worldly people for “having lost their selves in materials” (Zhuangzi 16: 21), and “conducting for fame but having lost self” (Zhuangzi 6: 12). In general, when Zhuangzi urges an individual to conform to Dao, he actually has released the individual mind into a boundless free realm, where it will no longer be constrained by even its own socially constructed “self,” let alone any other political, social, and cultural control and restrictions.
Third, Zhuangzi’s individualism is a kind of “inward individualism” rather than “outward individualism.” By “inward individualism,” I mean that Zhuangzi advocates and pursues individuality by exploring the innate and intrinsic self of individuals, rather than claiming and expanding outside interests and rights for individuals. This feature is partly due to the autarkical small-scale farming economy of his time, as I have mentioned previously, and it also makes the Zhuangzian individualism different from the economic and social-political individualism in modern Western culture, which makes great effort to draw a clear boundary of individuals’ ownership, encourages individuals to actively assert, pursue, and protect the interests and benefits supposed to belong to them from outside, and aggressively compete for individual success and achievement in social reality. Zhuangzi, in contrast, cares much more about an individual’s own body and spiritual freedom, rather than the individual’s material interests, economic benefits, and political rights in the outside social reality. As Judith Berling has pointed out, Zhuangzi’s “position is call not for the rights of the individual, but for a shift of attention from social and political issues to another dimension of life” (Berling 1985: 101).
In terms of economy, Zhuangzi’s individualism advocates a care-less attitude toward any material gains and profits. This is contrary to some Western economic individualists, such as John Locke and Adam Smith, who emphasize individual ownership of property and material goods. Zhuangzi thinks that in order to preserve and nourish real individual life, one should neglect material interests, as he states in Chapter 28: “he who nourishes his bodily form forgets about gain of interests” (Zhuangzi 28: 51); and “he who regards life as important will look upon material interests as insignificant” (Zhuangzi 28: 56–57). He thinks that only when you are indifferent to those outside gains and profits will you be able to preserve your true independence, as all those material goods and outside benefits are just burdens for spiritual freedom. One should not use oneself as a tool in order to gain those things. This also makes Zhuangzi’s individualism different from that of utilitarianism, represented by Western philosophers such as Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill, who take a calculating attitude toward gain and loss of interests and benefits.
In politics, in contrast to the modern Western individualism in the context of political democracy, which emphasizes the individual’s participation in politics and engagement in public affairs, Zhuangzi thinks that individuals should detach themselves from political institutions and public affairs. Many of his stories dissuade people from involvement in politics. Zhuangzi himself, as well as many other Daoist masters, is only interested in the issue of how to manage his own body (zhi shen 治身) and pursue longevity of individual life, rather than the issue of how to manage the state (zhi guo 治國) and society. As recorded in Chapter 11, when the Yellow Emperor came to consult Master Guang Cheng about the Way of governing the world, Master Guang Cheng was not interested and did not teach him anything. But after the Yellow Emperor gave up his throne and came back again to consult him about the “Way of governing body,” Master Guang Cheng sat up with a start and talked with him about how to protect the individual spirit and body and enjoy long life, with the essential of “being cautious of what is within you; blocking off what is outside you” (Zhuangzi 11: 28–44). Obviously, Master GUANG Cheng’s way of governing the body is to cut off as much as possible the links between the self and society, withdrawing to one’s own self consciousness. Most of the men Zhuangzi admired were those who “lofty in principle and meticulous in conduct, delighting in their own will alone without serving in public affairs” (Zhuangzi 28: 86–87). They considered their own body much “heavier” than the state and society, and did not want to consent to the existing political authority or take political responsibility or social obligation.
As a result, Zhuangzian individualism does not encourage social-economic contention or competition. This is quite different from certain versions of modern Western individualism, which take social Darwinism as their proposition, based on the belief that if everyone contends in pursuing gain and interests for themselves, the well-being of a society will improve in general, thus justifying ruthless rivalry among individuals in business and politics (Lukes 1973: 39). Here also lies a fundamental difference between Zhuangzi and Nietzsche, despite their similarities in other aspects. Nietzsche’s “will to power” theory encourages individuals to contend and even justifies the stronger conquering the weaker. His individualism is quite outwardly expanding and aggressive, while in a general Daoist view, fighting, rivalry, and contention are all of negative significance. From the angle of state politics, the Daoist doctrine of “wu wei 無為” (doing-nothing, inactivity) means no intervention and letting people take their own course, which has a similar connotation to “laissez-faire.” But from the angle of individual personality, “wu wei” also means “bu zheng 不爭” (no rivalry, no contention), a personal merit of no contending, no rivalry with others. There is no incentive element in Zhuangzi’s thought to encourage individuals to contend for outside success and achievement. His individualism is defensive rather than aggressive, inward rather than outward. Therefore, it should be exempt from the common socialist criticism of certain Western individualism, “as arming one human being against another, making the good of each depend upon evil to others, making all who have anything to gain or lose, live in the midst of enemies” (Mill 1967: 444).
5 Conclusion
We have found some values in the Zhuangzi, which can be reasonably regarded as belonging to individualism. It is Daoist individualism. The unique Daoist individualism represented in the Zhuangzi has a profound and deep influence on the later development of Chinese culture. However, due to its special characteristics discussed above, it has not become a fundamental resource for thinking about social, political, or economic revolution, as some versions of modern Western individualism functioned in the West. Nor has it played any role in constructing social, political, and economic institutions based on civil rights and interests and the contracts among individuals or between individuals and institutions.
Nevertheless, Zhuangzian individualism does provide an ideological resource for those who want to take a disobedient attitude toward political authorities, criticize autocracy and absolutism, keep their own mind in a free realm, and protect their independent personality. This is especially obvious in the thoughts and behaviors of some literati and intellectuals. Almost all the extraordinary, unusual, and eccentric figures in the history of Chinese literature and culture, such as TAO Yuanming, JI Kan, RUAN Ji, LI Po, SU Dongpo, and GONG Zizhen, among many others, are influenced by Zhuangzi and his thought. They find a cultural and spiritual space in Zhuangzian individualism, where they can reside with their unique personality and develop their individuality freely.
At the same time, due to its “inward” feature and emphasis only on spiritual individuality, Zhuangzian individualism does not cause any major collision with Confucianism, despite its disagreement with Confucianism in many aspects. It provides an alternative value choice for those who want to temporarily or permanently withdraw from the engagement required by common cultural custom or established social standards, thus to protect their individuality. Therefore, it has been an important and indispensable complement of the mainstream cultural tradition represented by Confucianism, which comparatively put more emphasis on the collectivity of family, group, state, and nation, and the value of the social order and political authority.
Furthermore, Zhuangzian individualism also provides an alternative angle for us to understand human beings as individuals different from the Western metaphysical perspective: individual persons are not like fixed, interchangeable, and forever “indivisible” physical “atoms,” individuals exists only temporarily in times, and one individual is not interchangeable with other individuals, because they are all different and unique; but it is changeable during the time of his or her existence, because the ultimate Dao is just the spontaneous change of everything. It is just this changeability that makes an individual really a free human being.
Acknowledgement
The author wishes to thank two anonymous peer reviewers for their comments and revision suggestions on an earlier version of this paper
From: A Different Type of Individualism in Zhuangzi by XU Keqian 徐克謙

As discussed previously, in Zhuangzi we can find some core values of individualism, and it is not inappropriate to call it Zhuangzian individualism. However, just like all varieties of “individualism” which appear in different times and places, each with its own connotations and characteristics, due to its particular social-cultural and philosophical background as mentioned above, the Zhuangzian individualism also has its own special characteristics, which make it a unique pattern of individualism and distinguishable from some of its Western counterparts.
First, Zhuangzi does not understand “individual” in a Western metaphysical way; in other words, he does not think “individual” as an abstract and permanent “Being,” like an individual “atom.” This makes it different from atomistic or abstract individualism, such as that of Thomas Hobbes. According to Chad Hansen, individuals in the Western conceptual structure are “fixed, interchangeable units” (Hansen 1985: 36). However, for Zhuangzi, individuals are neither “fixed” nor “interchangeable.” Zhuangzi has a dynamic view on individuals. Individuals do exist, but they may change their features and property during their time of existing, so an individual human being is not something similar to a “fixed” atom, nor a constant “matter-in-motion.” In Chapters 25 and 27 of the Zhuangzi, two paragraphs describe QU Boyu and Confucius respectively: as “growing up to his sixty years old, he has changed sixty times. There was nothing what he called right in the beginning had not been rejected as wrong by himself in the end. We do not know whether what he called right today was just what he considered as wrong when he was 59 years old” (Zhuangzi 25: 51–52; 27: 10–11). So QU Boyu and Confucius, as individuals, change during their lives in both body and mind; they are dynamic and living beings, rather than “fixed” atoms.
While individuals are changeable, they are not interchangeable, because every individual is unique and different. In his discussion of the ethics of difference in the Zhuangzi, HUANG Yong has keenly perceived that Zhuangzi “pays attention to the differences among human beings in terms of their ideas and ideals, desires and preferences, and habits and customs, etc” (Huang 2010a: 71), and “The central idea of Zhuangzi’s ethics of difference is to respect the unique natural tendencies of different things” (Huang 2010b: 131062). A resumption of this kind of ethics of difference is that every individual is unique and different. Therefore, human individuals are not “fixed unites” that are “interchangeable” in a social mechanism. They may not function in the same way and play the same role under the same situation, as indicated in Zhuangzi’s allegories:
[A big house beam may be used to breach a city wall, but it cannot be used to plug a small hole, which is to say the implements are different. A swift horse may gallop thousand miles a day, but for catching rats it is not as good as a weasel, which is to say their skills are different. An owl can catch fleas and discern the tip of a hair at night, but in the daytime with its eyes open it can’t even see the mountains, which is to say that natures are different. (Zhuangzi, 17:35–37)]
Therefore, no unified principles or norms can be applied to all of them without discrimination, as indicated in Zhuangzi: “Although the legs of a duck are too short, if we try to extend them the duck will be scared and worry. Although the legs of a crane are too long, if we try to cut them short the crane will be in horror and sadness” (Zhuangzi 8:9–10). These allegories in the Zhuangzi, as HUANG Yong pointed out, metaphorically tell us how human beings should act with each other (Huang 2010b: 1057) and be aware of the different needs, desires, and preferences of individuals. Actually, if individuals are treated as only interchangeable atoms, or just as “matter-in-motion,” it will unavoidably lead to certain general assertions on them, as well as some common principles or norms to regulate them. In terms of social politics, that will be social laws, regulations, and moral standards. This is a trend that Zhuangzi opposes. In other words, in the Zhuangzi, individuals are treated more particularly and respectively than in other theories of individualism in which individuals are understood as fixed, abstract, and interchangeable “atoms.”
Second, Zhuangzi thinks that the only thing that an individual mind or the “self” has to conform to is the unlimited and indefinable Dao. This actually has the significance of releasing the individual mind into a totally free and unconstrained realm of nothingness or emptiness, thus endorsing an infinite openness to any possible development of all individuals. Erica Brindley points out that Zhuangzi advocates conformism to the Dao: “individual relationship to the Dao is characterized not by dependence on political institutions or the central figure of the sovereign, but by direct, individual access to it through one’s own person” (Brindley 2010: 55). At first look, this is quite similar to Western religious individualism, which claims that the individual’s relation to God is direct and unmediated, and an individual builds his or her own relationship with God by self-scrutiny without any intermediaries such as a church or a sect. However, Dao is not the God. The essence of Dao is only everything’s “zi ran” or spontaneousness. The spontaneity of everything works automatically and perfectly, which is Dao. Dao does not have any will or intention, as God does. There is no clear definition of Dao in the Zhuangzi, except some descriptions of its nothingness, emptiness, infiniteness, and doing nothing: “The Dao has no boundaries” (Zhuangzi 2: 55); “The great Dao cannot be named” (Zhuangzi 2: 59); “It has no action or forms” (Zhuangzi 6: 29). As Brindley has also correctly observed, Dao is not a concrete, bounded entity; it is unbounded nothingness (Brindley 2010: 58). Therefore, individuals’ conforming to Dao or being together with Dao amounts to being in a realm of the boundless and limitless nothingness, or, using Zhuangzi’s words, wandering in a “wu he you zhi xiang 無何有之鄉” or “the country of nothingness” (Zhuangzi 1: 46; 7: 9–10; 32: 21). In this “country of nothingness,” everything moves and changes spontaneously along with the cosmos, which is Dao. Therefore, conforming to Dao does not mean conforming to an outside authority; it means to let the individual mind wander in an infinite realm and become what CHEN Guying has emphasized, the “open mind” (Chen 2009). Individuals in this realm are totally free and open, much freer than when bound with each other by common moralities or social contracts. It is just like the fish that, having once run aground, helped each other with their saliva and slime to survive; but it would be much better to let them return to their mutually disinterested original situation: “forget with each other in the rivers and lakes” (Zhuangzi 6: 22–23). It is because it conforms to Dao rather than to God or any other religious divinity that Zhuangzian individualism is not likely to be carried to the extreme and become absolutely egocentric and intolerant to others, like the Calvinists have demonstrated (Lukes 1973: 84), since conforming to Dao only means unlimited freedom and unbounded openness to the spontaneousness of every individual and unique thing.
Furthermore, since there is no need for a persistent or stubborn attitude toward anything when the individual spirit is conforming to the free, open, and dynamic Dao, one will also keep an open, free, and flexible attitude toward one’s own “completed mind” (chen xin 成心) or already constructed “self.” This is what happened in the process of “fasting of the mind” and “sitting and forgetting,” in two episodes in Chapters 4 and 6, when YAN Hui, Confucius’s favorite disciple, practiced a kind of self meditation under the instruction of his Master and finally reached the advanced stage of forgetting his body and mind (Zhuangzi 4: 24–34; 6: 89–93). Nevertheless, the so called “forgetting one’s self”—for instance, at the beginning of Chapter 2, when NANGUO Ziqi says to YANCHENG Ziyou: “Now I have lost myself” (Zhuangzi 2: 3)—does not mean that the individual “self” has totally dissolved or disappeared, physically or mentally. Just as some scholars have correctly analyzed (Chen 2001; Yang 2005), there are two different “selves” in the sentence “Now I have lost myself.” The first is the original and innate self, which is as free, open, and spontaneous as the Dao itself; the other is the socially constructed self, which is fixed, closed, and constrained by his or her worldly existence. What should be forgotten and lost is the latter, not the former. Otherwise, we would not be able to understand why in other places Zhuangzi mocks and denounces those worldly people for “having lost their selves in materials” (Zhuangzi 16: 21), and “conducting for fame but having lost self” (Zhuangzi 6: 12). In general, when Zhuangzi urges an individual to conform to Dao, he actually has released the individual mind into a boundless free realm, where it will no longer be constrained by even its own socially constructed “self,” let alone any other political, social, and cultural control and restrictions.
Third, Zhuangzi’s individualism is a kind of “inward individualism” rather than “outward individualism.” By “inward individualism,” I mean that Zhuangzi advocates and pursues individuality by exploring the innate and intrinsic self of individuals, rather than claiming and expanding outside interests and rights for individuals. This feature is partly due to the autarkical small-scale farming economy of his time, as I have mentioned previously, and it also makes the Zhuangzian individualism different from the economic and social-political individualism in modern Western culture, which makes great effort to draw a clear boundary of individuals’ ownership, encourages individuals to actively assert, pursue, and protect the interests and benefits supposed to belong to them from outside, and aggressively compete for individual success and achievement in social reality. Zhuangzi, in contrast, cares much more about an individual’s own body and spiritual freedom, rather than the individual’s material interests, economic benefits, and political rights in the outside social reality. As Judith Berling has pointed out, Zhuangzi’s “position is call not for the rights of the individual, but for a shift of attention from social and political issues to another dimension of life” (Berling 1985: 101).
In terms of economy, Zhuangzi’s individualism advocates a care-less attitude toward any material gains and profits. This is contrary to some Western economic individualists, such as John Locke and Adam Smith, who emphasize individual ownership of property and material goods. Zhuangzi thinks that in order to preserve and nourish real individual life, one should neglect material interests, as he states in Chapter 28: “he who nourishes his bodily form forgets about gain of interests” (Zhuangzi 28: 51); and “he who regards life as important will look upon material interests as insignificant” (Zhuangzi 28: 56–57). He thinks that only when you are indifferent to those outside gains and profits will you be able to preserve your true independence, as all those material goods and outside benefits are just burdens for spiritual freedom. One should not use oneself as a tool in order to gain those things. This also makes Zhuangzi’s individualism different from that of utilitarianism, represented by Western philosophers such as Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill, who take a calculating attitude toward gain and loss of interests and benefits.
In politics, in contrast to the modern Western individualism in the context of political democracy, which emphasizes the individual’s participation in politics and engagement in public affairs, Zhuangzi thinks that individuals should detach themselves from political institutions and public affairs. Many of his stories dissuade people from involvement in politics. Zhuangzi himself, as well as many other Daoist masters, is only interested in the issue of how to manage his own body (zhi shen 治身) and pursue longevity of individual life, rather than the issue of how to manage the state (zhi guo 治國) and society. As recorded in Chapter 11, when the Yellow Emperor came to consult Master Guang Cheng about the Way of governing the world, Master Guang Cheng was not interested and did not teach him anything. But after the Yellow Emperor gave up his throne and came back again to consult him about the “Way of governing body,” Master Guang Cheng sat up with a start and talked with him about how to protect the individual spirit and body and enjoy long life, with the essential of “being cautious of what is within you; blocking off what is outside you” (Zhuangzi 11: 28–44). Obviously, Master GUANG Cheng’s way of governing the body is to cut off as much as possible the links between the self and society, withdrawing to one’s own self consciousness. Most of the men Zhuangzi admired were those who “lofty in principle and meticulous in conduct, delighting in their own will alone without serving in public affairs” (Zhuangzi 28: 86–87). They considered their own body much “heavier” than the state and society, and did not want to consent to the existing political authority or take political responsibility or social obligation.
As a result, Zhuangzian individualism does not encourage social-economic contention or competition. This is quite different from certain versions of modern Western individualism, which take social Darwinism as their proposition, based on the belief that if everyone contends in pursuing gain and interests for themselves, the well-being of a society will improve in general, thus justifying ruthless rivalry among individuals in business and politics (Lukes 1973: 39). Here also lies a fundamental difference between Zhuangzi and Nietzsche, despite their similarities in other aspects. Nietzsche’s “will to power” theory encourages individuals to contend and even justifies the stronger conquering the weaker. His individualism is quite outwardly expanding and aggressive, while in a general Daoist view, fighting, rivalry, and contention are all of negative significance. From the angle of state politics, the Daoist doctrine of “wu wei 無為” (doing-nothing, inactivity) means no intervention and letting people take their own course, which has a similar connotation to “laissez-faire.” But from the angle of individual personality, “wu wei” also means “bu zheng 不爭” (no rivalry, no contention), a personal merit of no contending, no rivalry with others. There is no incentive element in Zhuangzi’s thought to encourage individuals to contend for outside success and achievement. His individualism is defensive rather than aggressive, inward rather than outward. Therefore, it should be exempt from the common socialist criticism of certain Western individualism, “as arming one human being against another, making the good of each depend upon evil to others, making all who have anything to gain or lose, live in the midst of enemies” (Mill 1967: 444).
5 Conclusion
We have found some values in the Zhuangzi, which can be reasonably regarded as belonging to individualism. It is Daoist individualism. The unique Daoist individualism represented in the Zhuangzi has a profound and deep influence on the later development of Chinese culture. However, due to its special characteristics discussed above, it has not become a fundamental resource for thinking about social, political, or economic revolution, as some versions of modern Western individualism functioned in the West. Nor has it played any role in constructing social, political, and economic institutions based on civil rights and interests and the contracts among individuals or between individuals and institutions.
Nevertheless, Zhuangzian individualism does provide an ideological resource for those who want to take a disobedient attitude toward political authorities, criticize autocracy and absolutism, keep their own mind in a free realm, and protect their independent personality. This is especially obvious in the thoughts and behaviors of some literati and intellectuals. Almost all the extraordinary, unusual, and eccentric figures in the history of Chinese literature and culture, such as TAO Yuanming, JI Kan, RUAN Ji, LI Po, SU Dongpo, and GONG Zizhen, among many others, are influenced by Zhuangzi and his thought. They find a cultural and spiritual space in Zhuangzian individualism, where they can reside with their unique personality and develop their individuality freely.
At the same time, due to its “inward” feature and emphasis only on spiritual individuality, Zhuangzian individualism does not cause any major collision with Confucianism, despite its disagreement with Confucianism in many aspects. It provides an alternative value choice for those who want to temporarily or permanently withdraw from the engagement required by common cultural custom or established social standards, thus to protect their individuality. Therefore, it has been an important and indispensable complement of the mainstream cultural tradition represented by Confucianism, which comparatively put more emphasis on the collectivity of family, group, state, and nation, and the value of the social order and political authority.
Furthermore, Zhuangzian individualism also provides an alternative angle for us to understand human beings as individuals different from the Western metaphysical perspective: individual persons are not like fixed, interchangeable, and forever “indivisible” physical “atoms,” individuals exists only temporarily in times, and one individual is not interchangeable with other individuals, because they are all different and unique; but it is changeable during the time of his or her existence, because the ultimate Dao is just the spontaneous change of everything. It is just this changeability that makes an individual really a free human being.
Acknowledgement
The author wishes to thank two anonymous peer reviewers for their comments and revision suggestions on an earlier version of this paper
From: A Different Type of Individualism in Zhuangzi by XU Keqian 徐克謙

As discussed previously, in Zhuangzi we can find some core values of individualism, and it is not inappropriate to call it Zhuangzian individualism. However, just like all varieties of “individualism” which appear in different times and places, each with its own connotations and characteristics, due to its particular social-cultural and philosophical background as mentioned above, the Zhuangzian individualism also has its own special characteristics, which make it a unique pattern of individualism and distinguishable from some of its Western counterparts.
First, Zhuangzi does not understand “individual” in a Western metaphysical way; in other words, he does not think “individual” as an abstract and permanent “Being,” like an individual “atom.” This makes it different from atomistic or abstract individualism, such as that of Thomas Hobbes. According to Chad Hansen, individuals in the Western conceptual structure are “fixed, interchangeable units” (Hansen 1985: 36). However, for Zhuangzi, individuals are neither “fixed” nor “interchangeable.” Zhuangzi has a dynamic view on individuals. Individuals do exist, but they may change their features and property during their time of existing, so an individual human being is not something similar to a “fixed” atom, nor a constant “matter-in-motion.” In Chapters 25 and 27 of the Zhuangzi, two paragraphs describe QU Boyu and Confucius respectively: as “growing up to his sixty years old, he has changed sixty times. There was nothing what he called right in the beginning had not been rejected as wrong by himself in the end. We do not know whether what he called right today was just what he considered as wrong when he was 59 years old” (Zhuangzi 25: 51–52; 27: 10–11). So QU Boyu and Confucius, as individuals, change during their lives in both body and mind; they are dynamic and living beings, rather than “fixed” atoms.
While individuals are changeable, they are not interchangeable, because every individual is unique and different. In his discussion of the ethics of difference in the Zhuangzi, HUANG Yong has keenly perceived that Zhuangzi “pays attention to the differences among human beings in terms of their ideas and ideals, desires and preferences, and habits and customs, etc” (Huang 2010a: 71), and “The central idea of Zhuangzi’s ethics of difference is to respect the unique natural tendencies of different things” (Huang 2010b: 131062). A resumption of this kind of ethics of difference is that every individual is unique and different. Therefore, human individuals are not “fixed unites” that are “interchangeable” in a social mechanism. They may not function in the same way and play the same role under the same situation, as indicated in Zhuangzi’s allegories:
[A big house beam may be used to breach a city wall, but it cannot be used to plug a small hole, which is to say the implements are different. A swift horse may gallop thousand miles a day, but for catching rats it is not as good as a weasel, which is to say their skills are different. An owl can catch fleas and discern the tip of a hair at night, but in the daytime with its eyes open it can’t even see the mountains, which is to say that natures are different. (Zhuangzi, 17:35–37)]
Therefore, no unified principles or norms can be applied to all of them without discrimination, as indicated in Zhuangzi: “Although the legs of a duck are too short, if we try to extend them the duck will be scared and worry. Although the legs of a crane are too long, if we try to cut them short the crane will be in horror and sadness” (Zhuangzi 8:9–10). These allegories in the Zhuangzi, as HUANG Yong pointed out, metaphorically tell us how human beings should act with each other (Huang 2010b: 1057) and be aware of the different needs, desires, and preferences of individuals. Actually, if individuals are treated as only interchangeable atoms, or just as “matter-in-motion,” it will unavoidably lead to certain general assertions on them, as well as some common principles or norms to regulate them. In terms of social politics, that will be social laws, regulations, and moral standards. This is a trend that Zhuangzi opposes. In other words, in the Zhuangzi, individuals are treated more particularly and respectively than in other theories of individualism in which individuals are understood as fixed, abstract, and interchangeable “atoms.”
Second, Zhuangzi thinks that the only thing that an individual mind or the “self” has to conform to is the unlimited and indefinable Dao. This actually has the significance of releasing the individual mind into a totally free and unconstrained realm of nothingness or emptiness, thus endorsing an infinite openness to any possible development of all individuals. Erica Brindley points out that Zhuangzi advocates conformism to the Dao: “individual relationship to the Dao is characterized not by dependence on political institutions or the central figure of the sovereign, but by direct, individual access to it through one’s own person” (Brindley 2010: 55). At first look, this is quite similar to Western religious individualism, which claims that the individual’s relation to God is direct and unmediated, and an individual builds his or her own relationship with God by self-scrutiny without any intermediaries such as a church or a sect. However, Dao is not the God. The essence of Dao is only everything’s “zi ran” or spontaneousness. The spontaneity of everything works automatically and perfectly, which is Dao. Dao does not have any will or intention, as God does. There is no clear definition of Dao in the Zhuangzi, except some descriptions of its nothingness, emptiness, infiniteness, and doing nothing: “The Dao has no boundaries” (Zhuangzi 2: 55); “The great Dao cannot be named” (Zhuangzi 2: 59); “It has no action or forms” (Zhuangzi 6: 29). As Brindley has also correctly observed, Dao is not a concrete, bounded entity; it is unbounded nothingness (Brindley 2010: 58). Therefore, individuals’ conforming to Dao or being together with Dao amounts to being in a realm of the boundless and limitless nothingness, or, using Zhuangzi’s words, wandering in a “wu he you zhi xiang 無何有之鄉” or “the country of nothingness” (Zhuangzi 1: 46; 7: 9–10; 32: 21). In this “country of nothingness,” everything moves and changes spontaneously along with the cosmos, which is Dao. Therefore, conforming to Dao does not mean conforming to an outside authority; it means to let the individual mind wander in an infinite realm and become what CHEN Guying has emphasized, the “open mind” (Chen 2009). Individuals in this realm are totally free and open, much freer than when bound with each other by common moralities or social contracts. It is just like the fish that, having once run aground, helped each other with their saliva and slime to survive; but it would be much better to let them return to their mutually disinterested original situation: “forget with each other in the rivers and lakes” (Zhuangzi 6: 22–23). It is because it conforms to Dao rather than to God or any other religious divinity that Zhuangzian individualism is not likely to be carried to the extreme and become absolutely egocentric and intolerant to others, like the Calvinists have demonstrated (Lukes 1973: 84), since conforming to Dao only means unlimited freedom and unbounded openness to the spontaneousness of every individual and unique thing.
Furthermore, since there is no need for a persistent or stubborn attitude toward anything when the individual spirit is conforming to the free, open, and dynamic Dao, one will also keep an open, free, and flexible attitude toward one’s own “completed mind” (chen xin 成心) or already constructed “self.” This is what happened in the process of “fasting of the mind” and “sitting and forgetting,” in two episodes in Chapters 4 and 6, when YAN Hui, Confucius’s favorite disciple, practiced a kind of self meditation under the instruction of his Master and finally reached the advanced stage of forgetting his body and mind (Zhuangzi 4: 24–34; 6: 89–93). Nevertheless, the so called “forgetting one’s self”—for instance, at the beginning of Chapter 2, when NANGUO Ziqi says to YANCHENG Ziyou: “Now I have lost myself” (Zhuangzi 2: 3)—does not mean that the individual “self” has totally dissolved or disappeared, physically or mentally. Just as some scholars have correctly analyzed (Chen 2001; Yang 2005), there are two different “selves” in the sentence “Now I have lost myself.” The first is the original and innate self, which is as free, open, and spontaneous as the Dao itself; the other is the socially constructed self, which is fixed, closed, and constrained by his or her worldly existence. What should be forgotten and lost is the latter, not the former. Otherwise, we would not be able to understand why in other places Zhuangzi mocks and denounces those worldly people for “having lost their selves in materials” (Zhuangzi 16: 21), and “conducting for fame but having lost self” (Zhuangzi 6: 12). In general, when Zhuangzi urges an individual to conform to Dao, he actually has released the individual mind into a boundless free realm, where it will no longer be constrained by even its own socially constructed “self,” let alone any other political, social, and cultural control and restrictions.
Third, Zhuangzi’s individualism is a kind of “inward individualism” rather than “outward individualism.” By “inward individualism,” I mean that Zhuangzi advocates and pursues individuality by exploring the innate and intrinsic self of individuals, rather than claiming and expanding outside interests and rights for individuals. This feature is partly due to the autarkical small-scale farming economy of his time, as I have mentioned previously, and it also makes the Zhuangzian individualism different from the economic and social-political individualism in modern Western culture, which makes great effort to draw a clear boundary of individuals’ ownership, encourages individuals to actively assert, pursue, and protect the interests and benefits supposed to belong to them from outside, and aggressively compete for individual success and achievement in social reality. Zhuangzi, in contrast, cares much more about an individual’s own body and spiritual freedom, rather than the individual’s material interests, economic benefits, and political rights in the outside social reality. As Judith Berling has pointed out, Zhuangzi’s “position is call not for the rights of the individual, but for a shift of attention from social and political issues to another dimension of life” (Berling 1985: 101).
In terms of economy, Zhuangzi’s individualism advocates a care-less attitude toward any material gains and profits. This is contrary to some Western economic individualists, such as John Locke and Adam Smith, who emphasize individual ownership of property and material goods. Zhuangzi thinks that in order to preserve and nourish real individual life, one should neglect material interests, as he states in Chapter 28: “he who nourishes his bodily form forgets about gain of interests” (Zhuangzi 28: 51); and “he who regards life as important will look upon material interests as insignificant” (Zhuangzi 28: 56–57). He thinks that only when you are indifferent to those outside gains and profits will you be able to preserve your true independence, as all those material goods and outside benefits are just burdens for spiritual freedom. One should not use oneself as a tool in order to gain those things. This also makes Zhuangzi’s individualism different from that of utilitarianism, represented by Western philosophers such as Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill, who take a calculating attitude toward gain and loss of interests and benefits.
In politics, in contrast to the modern Western individualism in the context of political democracy, which emphasizes the individual’s participation in politics and engagement in public affairs, Zhuangzi thinks that individuals should detach themselves from political institutions and public affairs. Many of his stories dissuade people from involvement in politics. Zhuangzi himself, as well as many other Daoist masters, is only interested in the issue of how to manage his own body (zhi shen 治身) and pursue longevity of individual life, rather than the issue of how to manage the state (zhi guo 治國) and society. As recorded in Chapter 11, when the Yellow Emperor came to consult Master Guang Cheng about the Way of governing the world, Master Guang Cheng was not interested and did not teach him anything. But after the Yellow Emperor gave up his throne and came back again to consult him about the “Way of governing body,” Master Guang Cheng sat up with a start and talked with him about how to protect the individual spirit and body and enjoy long life, with the essential of “being cautious of what is within you; blocking off what is outside you” (Zhuangzi 11: 28–44). Obviously, Master GUANG Cheng’s way of governing the body is to cut off as much as possible the links between the self and society, withdrawing to one’s own self consciousness. Most of the men Zhuangzi admired were those who “lofty in principle and meticulous in conduct, delighting in their own will alone without serving in public affairs” (Zhuangzi 28: 86–87). They considered their own body much “heavier” than the state and society, and did not want to consent to the existing political authority or take political responsibility or social obligation.
As a result, Zhuangzian individualism does not encourage social-economic contention or competition. This is quite different from certain versions of modern Western individualism, which take social Darwinism as their proposition, based on the belief that if everyone contends in pursuing gain and interests for themselves, the well-being of a society will improve in general, thus justifying ruthless rivalry among individuals in business and politics (Lukes 1973: 39). Here also lies a fundamental difference between Zhuangzi and Nietzsche, despite their similarities in other aspects. Nietzsche’s “will to power” theory encourages individuals to contend and even justifies the stronger conquering the weaker. His individualism is quite outwardly expanding and aggressive, while in a general Daoist view, fighting, rivalry, and contention are all of negative significance. From the angle of state politics, the Daoist doctrine of “wu wei 無為” (doing-nothing, inactivity) means no intervention and letting people take their own course, which has a similar connotation to “laissez-faire.” But from the angle of individual personality, “wu wei” also means “bu zheng 不爭” (no rivalry, no contention), a personal merit of no contending, no rivalry with others. There is no incentive element in Zhuangzi’s thought to encourage individuals to contend for outside success and achievement. His individualism is defensive rather than aggressive, inward rather than outward. Therefore, it should be exempt from the common socialist criticism of certain Western individualism, “as arming one human being against another, making the good of each depend upon evil to others, making all who have anything to gain or lose, live in the midst of enemies” (Mill 1967: 444).
5 Conclusion
We have found some values in the Zhuangzi, which can be reasonably regarded as belonging to individualism. It is Daoist individualism. The unique Daoist individualism represented in the Zhuangzi has a profound and deep influence on the later development of Chinese culture. However, due to its special characteristics discussed above, it has not become a fundamental resource for thinking about social, political, or economic revolution, as some versions of modern Western individualism functioned in the West. Nor has it played any role in constructing social, political, and economic institutions based on civil rights and interests and the contracts among individuals or between individuals and institutions.
Nevertheless, Zhuangzian individualism does provide an ideological resource for those who want to take a disobedient attitude toward political authorities, criticize autocracy and absolutism, keep their own mind in a free realm, and protect their independent personality. This is especially obvious in the thoughts and behaviors of some literati and intellectuals. Almost all the extraordinary, unusual, and eccentric figures in the history of Chinese literature and culture, such as TAO Yuanming, JI Kan, RUAN Ji, LI Po, SU Dongpo, and GONG Zizhen, among many others, are influenced by Zhuangzi and his thought. They find a cultural and spiritual space in Zhuangzian individualism, where they can reside with their unique personality and develop their individuality freely.
At the same time, due to its “inward” feature and emphasis only on spiritual individuality, Zhuangzian individualism does not cause any major collision with Confucianism, despite its disagreement with Confucianism in many aspects. It provides an alternative value choice for those who want to temporarily or permanently withdraw from the engagement required by common cultural custom or established social standards, thus to protect their individuality. Therefore, it has been an important and indispensable complement of the mainstream cultural tradition represented by Confucianism, which comparatively put more emphasis on the collectivity of family, group, state, and nation, and the value of the social order and political authority.
Furthermore, Zhuangzian individualism also provides an alternative angle for us to understand human beings as individuals different from the Western metaphysical perspective: individual persons are not like fixed, interchangeable, and forever “indivisible” physical “atoms,” individuals exists only temporarily in times, and one individual is not interchangeable with other individuals, because they are all different and unique; but it is changeable during the time of his or her existence, because the ultimate Dao is just the spontaneous change of everything. It is just this changeability that makes an individual really a free human being.
Acknowledgement
The author wishes to thank two anonymous peer reviewers for their comments and revision suggestions on an earlier version of this paper
From: A Different Type of Individualism in Zhuangzi by XU Keqian 徐克謙

As discussed previously, in Zhuangzi we can find some core values of individualism, and it is not inappropriate to call it Zhuangzian individualism. However, just like all varieties of “individualism” which appear in different times and places, each with its own connotations and characteristics, due to its particular social-cultural and philosophical background as mentioned above, the Zhuangzian individualism also has its own special characteristics, which make it a unique pattern of individualism and distinguishable from some of its Western counterparts.
First, Zhuangzi does not understand “individual” in a Western metaphysical way; in other words, he does not think “individual” as an abstract and permanent “Being,” like an individual “atom.” This makes it different from atomistic or abstract individualism, such as that of Thomas Hobbes. According to Chad Hansen, individuals in the Western conceptual structure are “fixed, interchangeable units” (Hansen 1985: 36). However, for Zhuangzi, individuals are neither “fixed” nor “interchangeable.” Zhuangzi has a dynamic view on individuals. Individuals do exist, but they may change their features and property during their time of existing, so an individual human being is not something similar to a “fixed” atom, nor a constant “matter-in-motion.” In Chapters 25 and 27 of the Zhuangzi, two paragraphs describe QU Boyu and Confucius respectively: as “growing up to his sixty years old, he has changed sixty times. There was nothing what he called right in the beginning had not been rejected as wrong by himself in the end. We do not know whether what he called right today was just what he considered as wrong when he was 59 years old” (Zhuangzi 25: 51–52; 27: 10–11). So QU Boyu and Confucius, as individuals, change during their lives in both body and mind; they are dynamic and living beings, rather than “fixed” atoms.
While individuals are changeable, they are not interchangeable, because every individual is unique and different. In his discussion of the ethics of difference in the Zhuangzi, HUANG Yong has keenly perceived that Zhuangzi “pays attention to the differences among human beings in terms of their ideas and ideals, desires and preferences, and habits and customs, etc” (Huang 2010a: 71), and “The central idea of Zhuangzi’s ethics of difference is to respect the unique natural tendencies of different things” (Huang 2010b: 131062). A resumption of this kind of ethics of difference is that every individual is unique and different. Therefore, human individuals are not “fixed unites” that are “interchangeable” in a social mechanism. They may not function in the same way and play the same role under the same situation, as indicated in Zhuangzi’s allegories:
[A big house beam may be used to breach a city wall, but it cannot be used to plug a small hole, which is to say the implements are different. A swift horse may gallop thousand miles a day, but for catching rats it is not as good as a weasel, which is to say their skills are different. An owl can catch fleas and discern the tip of a hair at night, but in the daytime with its eyes open it can’t even see the mountains, which is to say that natures are different. (Zhuangzi, 17:35–37)]
Therefore, no unified principles or norms can be applied to all of them without discrimination, as indicated in Zhuangzi: “Although the legs of a duck are too short, if we try to extend them the duck will be scared and worry. Although the legs of a crane are too long, if we try to cut them short the crane will be in horror and sadness” (Zhuangzi 8:9–10). These allegories in the Zhuangzi, as HUANG Yong pointed out, metaphorically tell us how human beings should act with each other (Huang 2010b: 1057) and be aware of the different needs, desires, and preferences of individuals. Actually, if individuals are treated as only interchangeable atoms, or just as “matter-in-motion,” it will unavoidably lead to certain general assertions on them, as well as some common principles or norms to regulate them. In terms of social politics, that will be social laws, regulations, and moral standards. This is a trend that Zhuangzi opposes. In other words, in the Zhuangzi, individuals are treated more particularly and respectively than in other theories of individualism in which individuals are understood as fixed, abstract, and interchangeable “atoms.”
Second, Zhuangzi thinks that the only thing that an individual mind or the “self” has to conform to is the unlimited and indefinable Dao. This actually has the significance of releasing the individual mind into a totally free and unconstrained realm of nothingness or emptiness, thus endorsing an infinite openness to any possible development of all individuals. Erica Brindley points out that Zhuangzi advocates conformism to the Dao: “individual relationship to the Dao is characterized not by dependence on political institutions or the central figure of the sovereign, but by direct, individual access to it through one’s own person” (Brindley 2010: 55). At first look, this is quite similar to Western religious individualism, which claims that the individual’s relation to God is direct and unmediated, and an individual builds his or her own relationship with God by self-scrutiny without any intermediaries such as a church or a sect. However, Dao is not the God. The essence of Dao is only everything’s “zi ran” or spontaneousness. The spontaneity of everything works automatically and perfectly, which is Dao. Dao does not have any will or intention, as God does. There is no clear definition of Dao in the Zhuangzi, except some descriptions of its nothingness, emptiness, infiniteness, and doing nothing: “The Dao has no boundaries” (Zhuangzi 2: 55); “The great Dao cannot be named” (Zhuangzi 2: 59); “It has no action or forms” (Zhuangzi 6: 29). As Brindley has also correctly observed, Dao is not a concrete, bounded entity; it is unbounded nothingness (Brindley 2010: 58). Therefore, individuals’ conforming to Dao or being together with Dao amounts to being in a realm of the boundless and limitless nothingness, or, using Zhuangzi’s words, wandering in a “wu he you zhi xiang 無何有之鄉” or “the country of nothingness” (Zhuangzi 1: 46; 7: 9–10; 32: 21). In this “country of nothingness,” everything moves and changes spontaneously along with the cosmos, which is Dao. Therefore, conforming to Dao does not mean conforming to an outside authority; it means to let the individual mind wander in an infinite realm and become what CHEN Guying has emphasized, the “open mind” (Chen 2009). Individuals in this realm are totally free and open, much freer than when bound with each other by common moralities or social contracts. It is just like the fish that, having once run aground, helped each other with their saliva and slime to survive; but it would be much better to let them return to their mutually disinterested original situation: “forget with each other in the rivers and lakes” (Zhuangzi 6: 22–23). It is because it conforms to Dao rather than to God or any other religious divinity that Zhuangzian individualism is not likely to be carried to the extreme and become absolutely egocentric and intolerant to others, like the Calvinists have demonstrated (Lukes 1973: 84), since conforming to Dao only means unlimited freedom and unbounded openness to the spontaneousness of every individual and unique thing.
Furthermore, since there is no need for a persistent or stubborn attitude toward anything when the individual spirit is conforming to the free, open, and dynamic Dao, one will also keep an open, free, and flexible attitude toward one’s own “completed mind” (chen xin 成心) or already constructed “self.” This is what happened in the process of “fasting of the mind” and “sitting and forgetting,” in two episodes in Chapters 4 and 6, when YAN Hui, Confucius’s favorite disciple, practiced a kind of self meditation under the instruction of his Master and finally reached the advanced stage of forgetting his body and mind (Zhuangzi 4: 24–34; 6: 89–93). Nevertheless, the so called “forgetting one’s self”—for instance, at the beginning of Chapter 2, when NANGUO Ziqi says to YANCHENG Ziyou: “Now I have lost myself” (Zhuangzi 2: 3)—does not mean that the individual “self” has totally dissolved or disappeared, physically or mentally. Just as some scholars have correctly analyzed (Chen 2001; Yang 2005), there are two different “selves” in the sentence “Now I have lost myself.” The first is the original and innate self, which is as free, open, and spontaneous as the Dao itself; the other is the socially constructed self, which is fixed, closed, and constrained by his or her worldly existence. What should be forgotten and lost is the latter, not the former. Otherwise, we would not be able to understand why in other places Zhuangzi mocks and denounces those worldly people for “having lost their selves in materials” (Zhuangzi 16: 21), and “conducting for fame but having lost self” (Zhuangzi 6: 12). In general, when Zhuangzi urges an individual to conform to Dao, he actually has released the individual mind into a boundless free realm, where it will no longer be constrained by even its own socially constructed “self,” let alone any other political, social, and cultural control and restrictions.
Third, Zhuangzi’s individualism is a kind of “inward individualism” rather than “outward individualism.” By “inward individualism,” I mean that Zhuangzi advocates and pursues individuality by exploring the innate and intrinsic self of individuals, rather than claiming and expanding outside interests and rights for individuals. This feature is partly due to the autarkical small-scale farming economy of his time, as I have mentioned previously, and it also makes the Zhuangzian individualism different from the economic and social-political individualism in modern Western culture, which makes great effort to draw a clear boundary of individuals’ ownership, encourages individuals to actively assert, pursue, and protect the interests and benefits supposed to belong to them from outside, and aggressively compete for individual success and achievement in social reality. Zhuangzi, in contrast, cares much more about an individual’s own body and spiritual freedom, rather than the individual’s material interests, economic benefits, and political rights in the outside social reality. As Judith Berling has pointed out, Zhuangzi’s “position is call not for the rights of the individual, but for a shift of attention from social and political issues to another dimension of life” (Berling 1985: 101).
In terms of economy, Zhuangzi’s individualism advocates a care-less attitude toward any material gains and profits. This is contrary to some Western economic individualists, such as John Locke and Adam Smith, who emphasize individual ownership of property and material goods. Zhuangzi thinks that in order to preserve and nourish real individual life, one should neglect material interests, as he states in Chapter 28: “he who nourishes his bodily form forgets about gain of interests” (Zhuangzi 28: 51); and “he who regards life as important will look upon material interests as insignificant” (Zhuangzi 28: 56–57). He thinks that only when you are indifferent to those outside gains and profits will you be able to preserve your true independence, as all those material goods and outside benefits are just burdens for spiritual freedom. One should not use oneself as a tool in order to gain those things. This also makes Zhuangzi’s individualism different from that of utilitarianism, represented by Western philosophers such as Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill, who take a calculating attitude toward gain and loss of interests and benefits.
In politics, in contrast to the modern Western individualism in the context of political democracy, which emphasizes the individual’s participation in politics and engagement in public affairs, Zhuangzi thinks that individuals should detach themselves from political institutions and public affairs. Many of his stories dissuade people from involvement in politics. Zhuangzi himself, as well as many other Daoist masters, is only interested in the issue of how to manage his own body (zhi shen 治身) and pursue longevity of individual life, rather than the issue of how to manage the state (zhi guo 治國) and society. As recorded in Chapter 11, when the Yellow Emperor came to consult Master Guang Cheng about the Way of governing the world, Master Guang Cheng was not interested and did not teach him anything. But after the Yellow Emperor gave up his throne and came back again to consult him about the “Way of governing body,” Master Guang Cheng sat up with a start and talked with him about how to protect the individual spirit and body and enjoy long life, with the essential of “being cautious of what is within you; blocking off what is outside you” (Zhuangzi 11: 28–44). Obviously, Master GUANG Cheng’s way of governing the body is to cut off as much as possible the links between the self and society, withdrawing to one’s own self consciousness. Most of the men Zhuangzi admired were those who “lofty in principle and meticulous in conduct, delighting in their own will alone without serving in public affairs” (Zhuangzi 28: 86–87). They considered their own body much “heavier” than the state and society, and did not want to consent to the existing political authority or take political responsibility or social obligation.
As a result, Zhuangzian individualism does not encourage social-economic contention or competition. This is quite different from certain versions of modern Western individualism, which take social Darwinism as their proposition, based on the belief that if everyone contends in pursuing gain and interests for themselves, the well-being of a society will improve in general, thus justifying ruthless rivalry among individuals in business and politics (Lukes 1973: 39). Here also lies a fundamental difference between Zhuangzi and Nietzsche, despite their similarities in other aspects. Nietzsche’s “will to power” theory encourages individuals to contend and even justifies the stronger conquering the weaker. His individualism is quite outwardly expanding and aggressive, while in a general Daoist view, fighting, rivalry, and contention are all of negative significance. From the angle of state politics, the Daoist doctrine of “wu wei 無為” (doing-nothing, inactivity) means no intervention and letting people take their own course, which has a similar connotation to “laissez-faire.” But from the angle of individual personality, “wu wei” also means “bu zheng 不爭” (no rivalry, no contention), a personal merit of no contending, no rivalry with others. There is no incentive element in Zhuangzi’s thought to encourage individuals to contend for outside success and achievement. His individualism is defensive rather than aggressive, inward rather than outward. Therefore, it should be exempt from the common socialist criticism of certain Western individualism, “as arming one human being against another, making the good of each depend upon evil to others, making all who have anything to gain or lose, live in the midst of enemies” (Mill 1967: 444).
5 Conclusion
We have found some values in the Zhuangzi, which can be reasonably regarded as belonging to individualism. It is Daoist individualism. The unique Daoist individualism represented in the Zhuangzi has a profound and deep influence on the later development of Chinese culture. However, due to its special characteristics discussed above, it has not become a fundamental resource for thinking about social, political, or economic revolution, as some versions of modern Western individualism functioned in the West. Nor has it played any role in constructing social, political, and economic institutions based on civil rights and interests and the contracts among individuals or between individuals and institutions.
Nevertheless, Zhuangzian individualism does provide an ideological resource for those who want to take a disobedient attitude toward political authorities, criticize autocracy and absolutism, keep their own mind in a free realm, and protect their independent personality. This is especially obvious in the thoughts and behaviors of some literati and intellectuals. Almost all the extraordinary, unusual, and eccentric figures in the history of Chinese literature and culture, such as TAO Yuanming, JI Kan, RUAN Ji, LI Po, SU Dongpo, and GONG Zizhen, among many others, are influenced by Zhuangzi and his thought. They find a cultural and spiritual space in Zhuangzian individualism, where they can reside with their unique personality and develop their individuality freely.
At the same time, due to its “inward” feature and emphasis only on spiritual individuality, Zhuangzian individualism does not cause any major collision with Confucianism, despite its disagreement with Confucianism in many aspects. It provides an alternative value choice for those who want to temporarily or permanently withdraw from the engagement required by common cultural custom or established social standards, thus to protect their individuality. Therefore, it has been an important and indispensable complement of the mainstream cultural tradition represented by Confucianism, which comparatively put more emphasis on the collectivity of family, group, state, and nation, and the value of the social order and political authority.
Furthermore, Zhuangzian individualism also provides an alternative angle for us to understand human beings as individuals different from the Western metaphysical perspective: individual persons are not like fixed, interchangeable, and forever “indivisible” physical “atoms,” individuals exists only temporarily in times, and one individual is not interchangeable with other individuals, because they are all different and unique; but it is changeable during the time of his or her existence, because the ultimate Dao is just the spontaneous change of everything. It is just this changeability that makes an individual really a free human being.
Acknowledgement
The author wishes to thank two anonymous peer reviewers for their comments and revision suggestions on an earlier version of this paper
From: A Different Type of Individualism in Zhuangzi by XU Keqian 徐克謙

I’m trying to figure out if I belong in Christopaganism.
I grew up in Catholicism but never liked Jesus because the way the Catholic Church portrayed him, he was mean to his disciples, spoke in boring parables that made him seem mysterious and metaphorical instead of just coming right out and saying directly what he meant, yelled at Thomas for doubting him, told people to turn the other cheek, told his apostles to sell their worldly possessions and follow him, passively submitted to his crucifixion like a doormat after praying to his father in heaven who made him suffer a 40-day trek through the wilderness, hung out with riffraff like prostitutes and lepers and tax collectors, and allowed people to crucify him instead of running away, beating his captors to a pulp, or smashing the cross to smithereens with his divine magical powers. I didn’t want to be like Christ. He associated with the dregs of society but I want to hang out with people at the top of the tree, not the bottom of the barrel.
I’m childfree by choice and hate the commandment to be fruitful and multiply. Those paper-thin communion wafers tasted like cardboard. You’d think that if Jesus wanted more people to ingest his body, he would declare that priests should get bread from a bakery so people would want to eat it.
I hated when the catechism teacher in Sunday school said we were all brothers and sisters. I didn’t like anybody in my CCD class, so why should I be obligated to acknowledge anyone as family when I didn’t enjoy their company and wasn’t even biologically related to them? When we watched monotonous movies about Saints, I was glad when they died, but I loved watching VeggieTales and dramatic re-enactments of Bible stories on TV. I was fascinated by the action-packed Old Testament: Jonah getting swallowed by a whale, Daniel escaping unscathed from the lions den, and Noah building the boat to save the animals when God sent the flood. Then there is Mendelssohn‘s Elijah with the contest of supernatural powers, the famine, Elijah ascending into heaven in a fiery chariot, and God appearing to him after the storm, earthquake and fire!
I liked the story of Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus in the manger, but that was it. Jesus turned loaves of bread into fishes and water into wine, preached a sermon on a mountaintop, walked on water, and exhorted everyone to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, take care of the poor and destitute, help the needy, and shelter the homeless? Yawn. I wondered who changed the rules and substituted the interesting God of the Old Testament with this hippie Jesus of the New Testament, but I liked salvation because even though I didn’t know why I had to be saved, I wanted to go to heaven, and Jesus had the best campaign slogan: “I suffered and died so you don’t have to.”
I love to sing. Sermons and gospel readings were boring, and the only time church services were fun was when I sang at choir practice and certain parts of weekly Mass. I learned to sing in harmony from our Director in the choir loft, and when I was confirmed because that’s what you did, my confirmation name was Saint Cecilia, the patron saint of music. I never liked the sound of the organ. I prefer piano, handbells, and orchestral instruments.
The stories of the Good Samaritan and the Prodigal Son grated on my nerves. I never liked the big JC, so I left Christianity for paganism because it’s marketed as a group of religions that espouse reverence for nature, but after lurking on online pagandom and attending multiple events in person, I discovered we had nothing in common. When pagans say they like dance, they aren’t talking ballet, and when they say they like chant, they don’t mean Gregorian. Pagans enjoy environmental activism, social justice, going to campgrounds and roughing it in tents, the folk cultures of indigenous ethnic groups, drum circles, bonfires, homesteading, magical creatures and pre-Christian deities that aren’t warm or friendly, creative writing, divination, guided meditation and visualization, Science Fiction and fantasy, and storytelling. None of these things appeal to me. I find mythology and folklore terrifying, and pagans used foul language. I found the rituals pretentious and the community loud-and-proud, obnoxious, condescending, and unabashedly weird. Some pagans spoke glibly and openly about selling sex toys, called me a prude for my conservative morals and values, and made fun of me when I didn’t want to dig in the dirt.
When I think of storytelling, I think of reading my beloved Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I decided I was an animist because I felt a connection to nature in those books and through music. I’m a soprano and a classical pianist. I thought pagans would be attracted to the repertoire I adore. There’s plenty of early music from the Renaissance in the 16th century, and oodles of program music from Romanticism in the 19th century about nature. Imagine my disappointment when there were no talking points to be had at Pagan gatherings for me. I was told, “You should go back to Christianity where you belong” or, “There’s a movement called New-Age. Go join that.” I tried it, and I like the concept of higher and lower energy vibrations, but nothing else resonated with me and the flaky new-agers messed me up for awhile, so I decided to give paganism another try.
I combed through every cultural pantheon you can shake a stick at, but the only person I click with is Morgan Le Fay, and after meeting her in a couple dreams, I set out to find people who work with her, but couldn’t find anybody because I’m a hard polytheist, and the people I located were into goddess spirituality, which isn’t my cup of tea.
Druidry seemed like a good fit because of its emphasis on artistic expression and enjoyment of nature, so I signed up for a druid course with an organization, but when I spoke to the bard candidates the same way I talked to my friends at Conservatory, I was banned from the email list because the moderator said I was judgmental, so I got a refund.
I love the conservative lifestyle of Christianity. No drinking, smoking, swearing, drugs, premarital sex, or promiscuity. Virginity is sacred to me, and that’s why I like the conservative stance of waiting until marriage. I thought Roman polytheists would share it because they have the Vestal Virgins. I love the architecture of cathedrals with flying buttresses, stained glass windows, gorgeous statuary, and vaulted ceilings. I love a music ministry with professional choirs and instrumentalists. I love music of the European classical tradition even if it’s in the Christian era. I adore Morgan Le Fay but not Arthurian legend. I like nature but don’t want to revive or reconstruct anything. My connection to nature is sitting outside on a sunny day enjoying the birds and other life around me. I talk to Morgan out loud, tell her about my life, enjoy learning mundane knowledge and have advanced degrees in music performance, so I thought that was enough to qualify as a druid. I’m a polytheist and believe deities are separate like us and live regular life in different realms.
Classical music is intrinsically woven into the fabric of who I am, and it needs to be part of my spiritual community. If you find anybody who works with Morgan le Fay, let me know.

As an aside, dug into the Japanese script and did minor modifications to improve semantic flow if you don't mind. The spirit is still there, enjoy.
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はさて、続いての話題は私たちの暮らしに直結したものです。皆さんが今現在、この番組を観るために使っているデータスワローを、OSのニューバージョンが発表になりました。これまでのバージョンとの書き換えは、ユーザー登録の更新、によって自動的に行われます。
Now, the next topic is directly related to our daily lives. A new version of Data Swallow, the OS that you are currently using to watch this broadcast, has been released. The OS will be automatically updated upon next user registration.
我々の生活を支えるネットワークこのエレクトロSphereが2020年に一般に対し実用化されデータスワローがリリースされてから、私たちの暮らしは激変しました。
Ever since the Electrosphere, the network and pillar of our lives, was publicized in 2020 and Data Swallow was released, our lives have drastically changed.
通勤通学という概念が過去のものとなり、私たちの移動は主に娯楽のために行われるものと なったのは周知の事実です。
As we all know, the activity of commuting to work has become a thing of the past, and hobbies have become the prime reason for people’s mobility these days.
回のニューバージョンでは、特に同時通訳ソフトが強化され、ズールー語、スワヒリ語、またエスペラント語といった、現在では失われた多くの言語に対しての辞書機能も追加されました。また、ビデオメールやビデオ本にも多くの編集機能が追加され、マルチトラックでの音声抜き出しや別画像との音声シンクが自動で行われるソフトが追加されました。
The new software version made notable improvements to simultaneous translation, and dictionaries for many dead languages like Zulu, Swahili, and Esperanto have also been added. Many editing features have also been added to videomail and phones, including multi-track audio extraction and automatic audiovisual sync software.
ハッキング対策ウィルス対策ソフトも最新のものに書き換えられることにより。去年の夏に有事や全域に大混乱を巻き起こしたヘールボップウイルスからも完全に防御されるとのこと。楽しみですね。それでは今日はこんなところでいいワールドでした。
Anti-hacking and antivirus software have been rewritten to be up-to-date. They will also be fully protected against the Hale-Bopp virus that wreaked havoc on the entire Usean continent last summer. We look forward to it. Well, that's it for today.
この名の年前の私たちの生活は、セリエの人の小さな家倉持狙って。倉持に流れを作る入江、技術の新しい。仲間みんなキー楽しくなり死ねる。
Nano, nano, nano, nano, These tiny heroes support our lives daily. Nanotech will rebuild the world. They’re our new pals from Neucom Inc.. Averse to our irises, but they're doing their finest. They are called nanobites.
ゼネラルリソースでは、GRDFで配備されていた全戦闘機に新型Aeroコフィンが装備されました。このたび発表になったデータスワローのニューバージョンに合わせる形で作られたこのコフィンによりパイロットの羽神経接続に、新しい機能が多数拡張されたようです。このコフィン開発には現在UPEOで活躍する天才少女パイロット広瀬玲奈さんの実験結果が反映されているとのことです。
General Resource has installed all GRDF fighters with the new Aero Coffin. The COFFIN, produced to utilize the newly released version of Data Swallow, appears to offer improved connection with the pilot's nervous system appears to allows use of a wide array of new features. Development of this COFFIN has been made possible thanks to the successful experiments conducted by Rena Hirose, the genius girl pilot who’s currently active in UPEO.
あなたの部屋、汚れたものはしていませ。このいい40分があれば、[missing JP script]あなた。のハート。 クリーンClean。
Is the air in your room too polluted? With a good 40 minutes of our Aeon Jet, you'll never cough again even when breathing in a chestful of urban oxygen! Aeon Jet. Clean your heart out.
さて、今日のまず最初の話題はなんといっても入庫も1番のメガフロートでしょう。完成したばかりの巨大な海上都市への一般入居がスタートしました。今までは入込社員のみに販売されていた 分譲住宅は、同社では今後一般にも広く開放していくようです。また、その入居開始を記念し、式典が行われました。その式典では、入込舎自慢の最新型スペースシャトル関谷や、世界最高速と飛れ村のお披露目も行われ華麗な飛行で一般の入居者たちを歓迎して。いました。素晴らしい式典でありました。
Well then, today's first topic will be Neucom's first, its pride and joy, Megafloat. This newly built giant floating city is already accepting its first civilian residents. Until recently, only Neucom employees could buy residential housing there, now, the general public is able to do the same. Neucom also held an event to commemorate the residents moving in. At the ceremony, the cutting-edge space shuttle and Neucom's pride Sepia, as well as the world’s fastest fighter Remora, were unveiled, their gorgeous flight welcoming the public. Indeed. What a wonderful event it was.
というわけで、今日のトピックです。この1週間の間、有志夜のエキスポシティで行われた航空ショーには、世界の代表的な企業のエースパイロットたちが集結。その腕を競い、アクロバティックな妙技で会場の航空ファンたちの熱い視線を浴びていました。ところで今回のショーの背景には、最近のニューコムとゼネラルの間に続いている緊張状態を感じさせる部分も随所に見られその行く末を懸念する専門家も。また、同会場では各企業の最新鋭戦闘機のお披露目も行われ、特にニューコム社の斬新なデザインによる飛行機群に取材陣が殺到していました。このような大規模で長期間の航空ショーが行われるのは、有志や始まって以来のことで、期間中にエキスポシティを訪れた観客はのべ200万人を超えるとも言われています。
Coming up is today's topic. During the past week, ace pilots from various global corporations gathered at an airshow in Expo City, Usea. Their competitive aerial performance won the enthusiastic attention of the aviation fans in the audience with their acrobatic virtuosity. The event also featured the unveiling of the latest fighter jets of various companies, and in particular, Neucom's novel aircraft designs drew a rush of media coverage. More than 2 million people are said to have visited Expo City during the event, the first time such a large-scale and long-duration airshow has been held since the beginning of Usea. Some experts in the meanwhile are concerned about the future of the ongoing General-Neucom tension, which was evident in many parts of the show.
我がゼネラルリソース社の軍事産業は、現代の社会においてほぼ独占的な市場になっている。それは2000年以後、我々ゼネラルグループの経済的影響力が国家の枠組みを消し去り、国家間の軍事的な衝突までも消し去ったからだ。私が所属する防衛部隊GRDFは市民の生活を脅かすテロなどからの自衛を目的として設立されたものである。ゼネラルグループの所有する空域において常に警戒態勢を保ち、24時間休まずに監視を続けている。
The military-industrial complex of General Resource has effectively monopolized under it in today's society. This can be traced to the year 2000, since which General Group’s economic influence has erased national frameworks and even international military conflict. The GRDF, its defense force I am part of, was established for the purpose of self-defense against terrorism and other civil threats. We are on constant alert in General Group airspace and are on watch 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
F-22Cラプター対2000年初頭からすでに部隊配属されていたF-22Cは決して新しい機体とはいえないが、2040年代における現在においても未だに現役の戦闘機として活躍している。当然、細かい改良点はある。もののフォルムの変更などは特に行われてはいない。大きく変化した点といえば、キャノピーの排除である。それは我々ゼネラルが開発に成功したコフィンの導入によるものだ。もともとF-22Cという機体は当時最新の技術であったサイバーを駆逐トランスミッションレーザートロニック飛行制御システムなどのエレクトロニクス技術、そしてステルス技術など、当時としては全く革命的な機体であった。残念ながらコスト面の問題、しかし、ドッグファイトにおける高い機動性と操縦性に優れており、今もなおトップクラスのパフォーマンスを維持していることに変わりはない。当時、コスト面の問題により廃止されたエアブレーキもこのF-22Cシーンになり復活し、ドッグファイト時の性能は飛躍的に向上した。私が最も気に入っている機体の1つでもある。は、ゼネラルグループの機体は既存の戦闘機をいわばチューンナップする形で低コスト化を図り提供してきたが、次に紹介する機体はゼネラル リソース社が新たに開発している新型機体である。
The F-22C Raptor, which has been in active service since the early 21st century, is not a new aircraft, but it is still active in the 2040s. Naturally, there are some minor improvements; the F-22C's form, however, has not been changed in any notable way. The major change is the elimination of the canopy. This is due to the introduction of the COFFIN, which we at General have successfully developed. The F-22C was originally a completely revolutionary aircraft at the time, with the latest technology at the time, including cutting-edge fiberoptic transmission and a laser-astronic flight control system, as well as stealth tech. Unfortunately, cost is an issue, but the high maneuverability and maneuverability in dogfighting remains a top-class performance. The airbrake, which was discontinued due to budget concerns at the time, was restored in the F-22C, and its dogfight performance was dramatically improved. It’s also one of my favorite aircraft. General Group's aircrafts have been offered at low cost by tuning up existing fighters, so to speak, but the next aircraft is a new model being developed by General Resource.
F/A-32Cをはじめ、 として様々な用途のために多くの種類の機体が開発されてきたが、 それらをつの機体で賄おうというのがF/A-32Cだ。このF/A-32Cの当初の目的は、 各国のあらゆる軍で使用されている FE16SA18 ハリアーなどの攻撃を中心とした 機体を統合するために開発が進められた。に配備されるこのF/A-32Cには迷彩仕様が施されている。深い森林での作戦や砂漠での作戦では、相手より優位に立つことができるだろう。そしてこのF/A-32Cは私が所属するアクロバットチームファイアスターターにSA18の後継機として制式採用される予定になっている。長期に及ぶ開発期間と膨大な経費のかかる新型戦闘機の開発に疑問の声がないわけではない。しかし、時代は常に進化をしていき、我々の予想を上回る他企業の新型機体がいつ。我々の領空を侵犯するかわからない。その様に、我々は常に最善の努力をし、常に備えていなければならない。
Many types of aircraft, including the F/A-32C, have been developed for various applications, but the F/A-32C is an attempt to cover them all in one aircraft. The F/A-32’s initial intent was to integrate the F=16, the F/A-18, and the Harrier, as one mainstay fighter used by various militaries around the world. The F/A-32C deployed by the Defense Force has camouflage specs. In deep forests or deserts, they’ll have an advantage over their opponents. The F/A-32C is scheduled to be formally adopted by my acrobatic team, the Firestarters, as the successor to the F/A-18. The development of this new fighter, with its exorbitant development time and expenses, is not without its doubts. But times are constantly changing, and new aircraft from other companies will come along at any moment that will surpass our expectations. We never know when a new aircraft from other companies will invade our airspace. We must always be prepared for such incidents.
そしていつの時代、においても航空優勢を維持するために新型戦闘機の開発は必要不可欠であるが、それが我々ゼネラルリソース維持哲学なのだ。NEUCOM社は常に先端の技術を求め、開発研究に努めてきた。それまでおろそかにされてきていたバイオテクノロジーナノテクノロジーの実用化、エレクトロスフィア環境のインフラ整備そして航空宇宙開発に積極的に参加するなど、意欲的に活動を進めてい。
The development of new fighters is essential to maintain air superiority at all times, so says General Resource’s maintenance philosophy. NEUCOM has always been eager to pursue cutting-edge technologies, committed to research and development. They have been active in the practical application of once-neglected technologies such as biotech, nanotech, the development of the Electrosphere’s infrastructure, and aerospace.
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R-311宇宙一例もこの映像はあくまでも実験飛行で、本来この機体は大型爆撃機である茂平を母体とし、通常の作戦行動域である 高高度まで警戒され射出される機体や、そのために長距離巡航能力を 近年まれに見られる過剰な兵器の装備、 不必要な全ての機能を限りなく削ぎ落とし、 短時間の作戦で 最大の効果を上げるよう開発された機体もそのために長距離巡航能力を 近年まれに見られる過剰な兵器の装備、 不必要な全ての機能を限りなく削ぎ落とし、 短時間の作戦で 最大の効果を上げるよう開発された機体も翼面積を極限まで抑えることに 機体の形状はコンパクトかつシャープにパッケージングした高高度からの射出をメインにした機体であるため、 機体制御はバーニアによる リアクションコントロール方式を採用しています。そしてこの機体は入込 車や現存する戦闘機体の中でも 最高速を誇る機体がそしてこの機体は入込 車や現存する戦闘機体の中でも 最高速を誇る機体が。
The R-311 spacecraft is an example of an experimental flight, and is transported by the heavy bomber Mobula, originally designed to be alerted and launched to high altitude, the normal operational range, and to do so, its long-range cruising capability was reduced to the bare minimum, with all unnecessary functions eliminated, The aircraft, developed to maximize effectiveness in short-duration operations, minimized its wing area, thus minimizing long-range cruise capability, which is rarely seen in recent years, and to minimize all unnecessary functions, thus maximizing effectiveness in short-duration operations. The shape of the fuselage is compact, sharply packaged, and mainly designed for high-altitude launch, so the fuselage is controlled by a reaction control system using verniers. This aircraft also boasts the highest speed among all Neucom craft, one coulds say it’s the fastest craft in the world.
R-352号にセピアは我が社の最も得意な分野である 宇宙空間での作戦行動用に開発された 大衛星シャトルである。見た目は通常のシャトルとそれほど変わるところはないが、決定的な違いは 通常胴体の中心部にいられるペイロードベイいわゆる貨物室を配慮し、 そこに軌道用プロペラントを搭載している。これにより宇宙空間では破格の機動性を実現した今世紀において一番進化している科学分野は形ずれは宇宙開発にほかならないそれは、地球上では不可能な様々な研究開発などが宇宙実験により多大な成果をもたらしているから現在、制空権はおろか、成虫間を使用する日を過ぎない。実際に戦闘領域は空を越え、宇宙空間にまで及ぶこれから先も 他社より一歩進んだ宇宙開発を維持するために、 我々ニューコム社では セピアのような戦闘機体が 次々と開発されていくだろ。
The R-352 Sepia is a large craft designed for space operations, one of the areas in which our company excels, and can take down satellites. It resembles a normal shuttle at first glance, but the decisive difference is that the payload of the cargo bay, which is usually located in the center of the fuselage, is taken into consideration and the orbital propellant is carried there. Space exploration is the most advanced scientific field in this century, because various research and development impossible on Earth has brought great results through experiments in space. The most advanced scientific field in this century is none other than space exploration, because space experiments have brought about great results in various researches and development that are not possible on Earth, and now, corporations pursue not only air superiority, but also the interstellar spacecraft. In fact, the battlefield will go beyond the skies and into outer space, and we at Neucom Inc. will continue to develop more and more combat craft like the Sepia in order to maintain our space program one step ahead of our competitors.
私たち入江店が誇るデルフィナシシリーズわが社が世界的にリードしている 航空宇宙開発のノウハウを戦闘機にフィードバックすること。 により従来の戦闘機開発の常識を覆す、 まったく新しいタイプの戦闘機の開発に成功しました。機体構造の 90余に使用されている新素材により 大幅な軽量化を実現そして高出力で 信頼性の高いエンジンを搭載しました。すべてが純入江無社製のオリジナルマシン。その記念すべき第1号機が R-101デルフィなスワンでした。そのデルフィなスワンの成功により、 私たち入江武者の次世代戦闘機が 必ずやこれからの主力戦闘機になるであろうと確信し デルフィなシリーズの更なる改良を進めました。
We at Neucom are proud to offer the Delphinus series, in which we feed back our world-class aerospace development know-how to fighters. We have succeeded in developing a completely new type of fighter that overturns the conventional wisdom of fighter development. The new materials used in more than 90% of the fuselage have significantly reduced weight, and the aircraft is equipped with a high-power, highly reliable engine. Every part is made purely by Neucom. The first plane, the R-101 Delphinus #1, is especially worth a mention. The Delphinus #1’s success convinced us that Neucom’s next-gen fighters would surely become the mainstay of the future, so we proceeded with further improvements to the Delphinus series.
それがいまご覧いただいているR-102にデルフィの質です。デルフィナシ通は、前作のデルフィなSwanよりも空陸特性を強化することを第一に開発が進められました。空陸をより能動的に制御するために、機体下方にブレンデッドダブルボディーと呼ばれる新型空陸装置が採用されました。今までのデルフィなシリーズとコンセプトこそ同じではありますが、新型機体を開発するのと同等の膨大な資金と時間が投入され、開発が進められました。
That's how the fighter you can see now, the R-102 Delphinus #2, was made. The development of the Delphinus #2 was focused on enhancing its aerodynamics over its predecessor, the Delphinus #1. A new aerodynamic feature called a blended double body under the fuselage has been adopted for more active aerodynamic control. Although the concept is the same as that of the previous Delphinus, a huge amount of money and time were invested in its development, equal to that of a new aircraft.
そして、R-103デルフィなしIIIは、そして、R-103デルフィなしIIIは、バージョンアップというよりもまったく新しいタイプの機体です。まず、前作のデルフィなしで単発に簡素化されたエンジンは双発に復活。まず、前作のデルフィなしで単発に簡素化されたエンジンは双発に復活。前作以上の空戦能力を持ちつつ、地上攻撃などのあらゆる任務を遂行できるよう大型化された。さらに、最新の設計技術を採用した主力戦闘機です。今までの技術とは決して成し得なかった新技術。これまで機体の一部のみにしか適用できなかった一体成形技術が機体前面に適用され、空力特性をさらに向上することに成功しました。これまで機体の一部のみにしか適用できなかった一体成形技術が機体前面に適用され、空力特性をさらに向上することに成功しました。流れるような美しいボディーラインと、未来を予感させるカラーリングデルフィに、その名前の由来であるイルカのように、まるで空を自由自在に泳いでいるようではありませんか。
Let’s go to the R-103 Delphinus III, it ain’t so much an upgrade as a completely new type of plane. First, the engine, simplified to a single-engine in the previous version, is back to a twin-engine. The engine has been enlarged to be able to carry out all kinds of missions, including ground attacks, while having air combat capability beyond that of the previous Delphinus. Furthermore, it is a mainstay fighter that employs the latest design technologies. New technology that could never have been achieved with the previous tech. The one-piece molding technology that could only be applied to a part of the fuselage up to now has been applied to the front of the fuselage, successfully improving aerodynamic characteristics even further. The integral molding technology that could previously only be applied to a portion of the fuselage is now applied to the front, successfully improving aerodynamics even further. With its beautiful, flowing body lines and futuristic coloring, the Delphinus looks as if it’s swimming freely in the sky, just like the dolphins from which it gets its name.
私たち入江店の歴史は始まったばかりではありますが、それゆえに私たち入江は皆さまの想像を超える商品を提供し続けていきたいと思っております。常識はずれた新理論、それが私たち入江むだけのオリジナル。
The history of Neucom has just begun, but that is why we would like to continue to offer goods beyond your imagination. Unconventional theories, they are our originality.
私たち郵便では、そのスタートから新国連関連企業との共同開発により、低価格で汎用性の高い機体を多く使用していますが、ここに紹介するEF2000Eタイフーンは現在の優美を支える主力機体です。今期は新国連関連企業と郵便によって開発改良された全天候型戦闘機で、高い旋回能力優れた格闘戦能力と迎撃性能を兼ね備えた台になっています。ちなみに本機のモデルとなったユーロファイター2000は、1983年に計画されたEFプロジェクトから生まれました。基本的には航空阻止が主な任務ですが、地上攻撃にも活躍しています。胴体下部に2次元式エアインテークを持ち、デルタ翼に全力を組み合わせたクローズドカップルデルタ翼を採用し、空陸特性を高めています。そして、機体の各所に新素材を適用し、徹底的な軽量化を図りました。また、失速時にはオートリカバリーモードを使用することで、機体の立て直しが容易になっています。このように、新規搭載の最新電子装備がコフィンシステムと融合され、自然言語の解析可能な音声認識システムや神経接続による筋電入力を通して操縦者の憤りに複雑な任務をこなすことが可能になり機体の性能を格段に引き上げることに成功しました。
Since its start, we at UPEO have been using many low-cost and versatile aircraft developed jointly with Neo United Nations-affiliated companies, and the EF2000E Typhoon introduced here is the mainstay in present support of UPEO. It’s an all-weather fighter developed and improved by UPEO and NUN-affiliated companies, and the platform combines high turn rates and excellent combat capabilities and interception. Incidentally, the Eurofighter 2000, its direct predecessor, was born out of the EFA project planned in 1983. Basically, its main mission is air interdiction, but it is also active in ground attacks. It has two-dimensional air intakes in the lower fuselage and a close-coupled delta wing with full power combined with a delta wing to enhance its air-landing characteristics. And new materials are applied to various parts of the fuselage to thoroughly reduce weight. An auto recovery mode is used in the event of a stall, making it easier to regain control of the aircraft. The new state-of-the-art electronic equipment is integrated with the COFFIN system, which enables the aircraft to perform complex missions to the indignation of the pilot through a voice recognition system capable of analyzing natural language and myoelectric input via neural connections, thus dramatically raising the aircraft's performance.
このR-201Uアステラスはは我々憂慮がその防衛任務実績をNEUCOM社から認められ、同社からの技術協力により、最近になって実戦配備が進んでいる最新鋭の機体です。このほかにも我々ユキオには出るフィネス話の実戦配備が両社からの協力によって行われています。特徴的な外観は、アストロズはという名前の由来にもなっているヒトデのような姿を。このように入国者のR-Numberと呼ばれる機体は、どれも生物的な流線型を持つフォルムが特徴です。この機体はR-Numberの中でも特に超高速で有視界飛行し、地上攻撃を行うことにその威力を発揮します。から。そのため低空での安定性が高いのですが、最高速が犠牲になっており、マッハ1程度での飛行に限られています。また、フライバイオプトシステムによる機体制御と火器管制が統合された入江無生の新世代アビオニクスによってコフィンシステムによる、操縦特性を十二分に活かしつつ、また、フライバイオプトシステムによる機体制御と火器管制が統合された入江無生の新世代アビオニクスによってコフィンシステムによる、操縦特性を十二分に活かしつつ、強力な攻撃能力を制御することが可能になりました。そう、同機という特異な形状から来る豊富な兵曹積載量に加え、強力な機銃を装備することにより地上攻撃に絶大な威力を発揮します。
The R-201U Asterozoa is a state-of-the-art aircraft that has recently been deployed in actual combat operations with the technical cooperation of NEUCOM, which has recognized its defensive achievements. In addition to this, UPEO has been deploying it in actual combat with the cooperation of both companies. The Asterozoa’s characteristic appearance look like a starfish, which is also the origin of the name. All of these aircraft, called R-Number by the entrant, are characterized by their biological streamlined form. This aircraft is the most powerful of the R-Numbers, especially in its ultra-fast visual flight and ground attack. This makes it highly stable at low altitudes, but at the expense of its top speed, which is limited to flying at about Mach 1. Neucom’s new-generation avionics, which integrates airframe and fire control by the fly-by-opto system, allows the aircraft to take full advantage of the mobility of the COFFIN system. The system enables control of the aircraft's firepower while taking full advantage of its maneuverability. Yes, in addition to the abundant armament it can carry due to its unique shape, it is equipped with a powerful machine gun, which makes it extremely powerful in ground attacks.
本機の高いポテンシャルについては 前述の航空ショーですが、超付随コブラを披露し、 関係者を驚かせたことでも証明されています。Su-37スーパーフランカこの機体は、優れた空力特性の推進、 偏向ノズル採用の大出力エンジンにより、 高次元の機動性を実現した 全天候型の長距離多目的戦闘機です。UPEOに配備されている他の機体に比べると、大型で余裕のある機体サイズから対空、対地攻撃まであらゆる任務をこなすことができます。私たち有病が行った近代化改修としては、エンジンの推力増加、新素材による台の高強度と軽量化、若干フックの装備、空中給油装置の変更、左右徳力可動カナードなど多岐に渡ります。コックピットには、神経接続による、軍事兵器操縦システムConnectionForFlightInterface.通称コフィーも採用しています。ちなみに神経接続されたパイロットは完全に視界を遮断された状態でコックピットに横たわって操縦しています。このようにして、機体の全アビオニクスが新開発のものに改良されています。そして。私自身が操縦するこの専用機には、今までのエンジンシステムをさらに進化させたオプトニューロンを使った特別な神経接続が使用されています。この企画によって、私はより素早く、より正確で、より繊細な戦闘機に操縦が可能になりましそう。このような翼を手に入れるために続けられる私たちの技術開発は、きっとこれからも新しい戦闘機をいろいろと開発していくことでしょうもしかしたら、戦闘機に人間が乗る必要さえもなくなる日がやってくるのかもしれません。それでも人は大空を自由に飛ぶための翼を手放すことはないでしょう。素晴らしい空鳥たちの視界。ここにはまだまだ私たち人間の手には届かない。美しい。景色が広がっているのです。
The aircraft’s sheer potential has been proven by the aforementioned air show, where it surprised all concerned with its Pugachev’s cobra. The Su-37 Super Flanker is an all-weather long-range multirole fighter that achieves high mobility thanks to its propulsion with excellent aerodynamics and high-power engine with deflecting nozzles. Compared to other aircraft deployed in UPEO, the Su-37 Super Flanker is capable of performing a full range of missions, from air-to-air to ground attack, thanks to its large size and ample room to maneuver. UPEO’s modernization modifications include increased engine thrust, new materials to make the platform stronger and lighter, a tail-hooks, a modified aerial refueling system, and independently controllable canard forewings. The cockpit also features the Connection For Flight Interface, or COFFIN, a military weapon neural control system. Incidentally, the neuro-connected pilot lies in the cockpit and controls the aircraft with his/her vision completely blocked. In this way, all the avionics are newly developed and improved. Also. This special aircraft, which I myself pilot, uses a special neural connection called opto-neurons, a further improvement on the existing engine system. This project has made it possible for me to pilot a faster, more precise, and more responsive fighter. Continued technological development to obtain such wings will surely lead to the development of many new fighters in the future, and perhaps the day will come when humans are no longer needed to fly fighters. But never will people give up their wings to fly freely in the sky. The wonderful bird’s eye view. A place still out of reach of us humans. Beautiful. The scenery stretching out.

Night Raven Special

Subbed by: LonelyChaser FansubsProject Manager: MartyMcfliesTranslation: Windii
Editing: IIDucci, Dark_Kudoh, Dfactor
Escalating conflicts between nations. A growing nuclear threat - those days have passed.
-the ultra-powerful multinational corporations
malicious terrorist
However, nations are no longer able to deal with quarrels
Which is why we at UPEO, the world’s singular peace enforcement organization, have assembled the latest military hardware sufficient to cope with any emergency and established a vocal authority for diplomacy on a level playing field with any organization.
Come forth, young aspirants!
EAPN Top News 7
Top-secret info obtained!
Urgent report, General Resource
A full view of the latest next-gen fighter?!
Top News 7: Good evening. Top News 7 broadcasting. First, observe this footage.
This is a video of a test flight of the newest next-gen advanced fighter that General Resource has been developing in secret as reported by our Top News 7 team and other TV stations yesterday.
[X-49 now flies above the Lambert Mountains]
General Resource’s next-gen advanced fighter development has always been on global notice, with debates led by military aviation companies and even on the Electrosphere, but the project’s true status remained veiled in mystery. Because of that, this footage will certainly create a ripple from now.
[X-49 now flies through Geofront tunnels]
This latest next-gen advanced fighter, with its distinct dual-topped boomerang shape, is called the X-49 Night Raven, and aside of a normal jet engine is Aeon propulsion to provide fourice the conventional propulsion in airspaces with Aeon particles. It is a state-of-the-art fighter with a top speed rumored to be as high as Mach 4 or 5.
The X-49 excels at ultra-extensive jamming, and we suspect that to be the cause of the occasional noise in this footage.
The displayed capability in this flight test recording is said to be less than 25% of its full potential, and experts say it is being developed as the ultimate evolution of the stealth fighter that was touted as a threat in the late 20th century.
For General Resource as well as its rival Neucom, and other military aviation companies worldwide, the development and success of next-gen advanced fighters is of paramount importance to their future prospects. Therefore, its development is considered a top-secret confidential project, and it’s even said only a few employees are aware of it.
The X-49 Night Raven’s existence has for a long time also remained shrouded in secrecy. But it is conceivable that General Resource, ahead of the curve in Aeon particle research, is taking on the challenge of developing a next-gen advanced fighter running on Aeon propulsion. In addition, regular pilots find extreme difficulty adapting to Aeon-powered mobility because of its revolutionary strides, and military journalists have been speculating that General Resource’s future fighters will be unmanned.
[X-49 flies above Geofront]
Experts say it is difficult to determine from this received footage on whether the X-49 is an unmanned advanced fighter. There is no hyperbole, however, that this video nearly proves that General Resource’s next-gen advanced fighter development has reached its last stages.
Despite the video file being sent to several TV stations while having no address and the sender being anonymous, military reviewer Dan Satoshi theorizes that the video was leaked with the intent of showing General Resource’s research advancements to the world, thus highlighting and cementing their presence; however, the possibility remains that the video was leaked by a former General Resource employee. Regardless, we believe that the video will spur competition between General Resource and Neucom, which has recently become tense.
General Resource’s PR department, which could be one of the leak sources, has released a statement that X-49 R&D has already been terminated and the experimental unit dismantled and scrapped, while maintaining complete silence on the circumstances of the leak. What happens next will garner interest.
Sponsored by: Neucom Inc.
Nano, nano, nano, nano! These tiny heroes support our lives daily! Nanotech will rebuild the world! They are our new pals from Neucom! Averse from our irises, but they do their finest! They are called nanobites!

Despite my skepticism, I've always been a fan of a good horror story. A few weeks ago, I stumbled across some reviews online about a supposedly amazing new horror novel. I'll copy two of the reviews that stood out the most to me. Do note, I edited the reviews slightly to fix spelling and grammatical errors.
"Creepy and disturbing, [Redacted] is a fantastic novel worthy of at least one read. It explores the psyche of the human mind, and our approach to things we find creepy and supernatural. The author did a fantastic job setting up a story, and tearing apart the mind to explore our deepest, darkest fears. I won't spoil too much, but I highly reccomend purchasing this book before it's too late."
Too late? Why would it be too late? Even if it sells out, in a few months, second-hand copies will show up all over the place. There's never a 'perfect' time to read a book. As for the second review.
"Do not touch this book. Stay as far away from it as possible. If it's in a library or store near you, my best advice is to move. Find a new place to stay, or better yet, burn down the location. Either get as far away from it as possible, or destroy it as soon as possible. This book is demonic! It is pure evil and should not even be acknowledged! May Our Father forgive us."
Now, I didn't know exactly why this review stood out so much to me at the time, after all, it's probably just the ravings of another religious fanatic, right? Well, hindsight's a bitch. Perhaps if I was that bit smarter, perhaps if I was slightly less skeptical, I wouldn't have brushed it off like that, but that's what I did.
So, being a fan of good horror, I decided to purchase the book. It took rather a while to get delivered, to the point I had almost forgotten about it. The day it did arrive was a strange one. An unmarked black van pulled into my driveway. Now, while I'm skeptic of supernatural dangers, I'm all too aware about the ones that the real world presents. A man in a black suit and hat stepped out of the van and approached my gate.
I quickly grabbed my phone and went to dial 911. Something stopped me in my tracks though. He called out my full name. How would he know that? His next comment quickly answered that. He had a delivery for me. He held up a black book with white words engraved near the top. I squinted and could make out the title of the book I ordered. Okay, weird. I went outside and accepted the delivery.
"Where do I sign?" I asked, slightly taken aback by the strangeness of this whole affair. What kind of delivery company doesn't have a logo?
"Not necessary." He responded with a gravelly voice and a tip of his hat. "Enjoy." He turned and walked back to his van.
"Wait!" I called out. I had so many questions, but he just seemed to ignore me as he entered the van and slowly backed out of the driveway.
I stood there, at the gate, reading the title. It certainly was the book I ordered, with a small white price tag at the bottom, the exact price I had paid online. I flipped open the book and the very first page was completely blank, except for black text in the center.
"In memory of the damned. As you read their stories, remember always one simple rule. Never say their names out loud."
I shook my head, that was likely just some comment for immersion's sake. I snapped the book closed and headed inside. I made myself a cup of tea and got comfortable. It was getting late, and a creepy story and a warm drink was the perfect way to end the day.
The first few pages were your run of the mill horror. Small children screaming for their parents about monsters they saw under the bed, strange sightings when the power goes out and so on. The more I read though, the progressively stranger, and more personal it got. There was a story that started on Page 39 about a child who nearly drowned in a pool, it described the environment in such poetic detail.
Around the pool was a brick path, beside it were multiple fruit trees, under which sat a white, stone bench. The environment sounded so similar to the pool in my parents' old place. I chalked it up to coincidence, until the child was named. My name.
In a moment of shock and awe, I read the name again, out loud. Was this story about me? I continued reading, and it described a banshee-like creature with long, black claws dragging the child into the water by their ankles. I remember that, no one believed me. I just went in too deep, wasn't ready. Just an accidental near-drowning. Monsters aren't real. And so the story went in the book as well. No one believed the child about this banshee they clearly saw.
This story was about me. How? I didn't recognize the author's name, or anything about this book. I only told that story to a few people. Did they tell it to other people and it spread? That must be it. This book is a collection of short stories from all over the globe. This was likely just a case of someone in my family knowing someone who knew the author, and he just never came up.
Still, I found it very annoying that he didn't bother changing my name. That's how these books usually go. All names have been changed for the safety of the victims. Nothing like that on the front page though. My emotions quickly went from concern to mild irratation at the amateur nature of this author.
I finished reading the story about the child that nearly drowned, despite knowing exactly how it would end. But something caught my eye. The ending was different.
"And there, as the child lay asleep, outside the bedroom window stood the banshee, waiting to strike again."
Was this added fiction just for the sake of a little scare? Did he know something more than I thought? These thoughts raced across my mind, but ultimately I thought it was pointless to go on a mental journey about some dumb book. I closed the book and set it on my desk, then went to sleep.
The next morning when I woke up, the first thing I noticed scared me to the core. There, against my bedroom window were several long scratches downward, scratches that slightly cracked the window. It's important that you understand, my bedroom window is situated in a pathway with very tall, locked gates on either side, and across from the window is a very tall wall, with electric wire. The likelihood that someone could just get there during the night and scratch the window without my noticing is very slim. There aren't trees or animals that could've done that either. And none of these would crack the window just scratching it.
I tried to explain the scratches as best I could, but I could find no logical explanation. Was the book right? Was the banshee back because I read my own name aloud? It felt so dumb to even consider that as an option. Ghosts and monsters aren't real. Books don't hold any supernatural power. In that swimming pool, I was drowning. I was delusional, but what else could have caused this?
There was one course of action I could think of. In the case that this was some supernatural force at work. I grabbed the book and went to the grill outside. I dropped it inside and set it alight, watching as the fire slowly consumed it, the paper coiling in on itself and turning to ash with each passing second. I stared at the fire as it burned for nealy half an hour and slowly burned out.
When that was all done, I went on a walk to clear my mind. I tried to answer any questions I had about this whole ordeal on the walk, I couldn't. Some of it just didn't make any sense. When I finally returned home, I went to my study, with the intent to get back to work. I was halted in my tracks by a most disturbing sight, however. There, sitting on my desk just as I had left it the night before, was the damn book. The same one I burned.
Did someone see me burning it, then sneak in and replace it while I was out? Once again, that would be very difficult considering the secure nature of my home, with all the locked gates and electric wire. Perhaps this was just a very determined prankster. When I was younger, I did have a friend who would do these sort of things all the time. Though he passed a few years ago. Perhaps he had like-minded friends and they thought this was a fun way to pass the time. I flipped open the book to read that rule again.
"In memory of the damned. As you read their stories, remember always one simple rule. Never say their names out loud."
Was that first line supposed to mean something? Were they referring to this old friend? If this was a prank, I had to hand it to them, they certainly put in a lot of effort. Slightly disturbing, using a person's dead friend to play a joke on them, but that's the way of some people.
Once again, a small spell of paranoia poked at the back of my mind. If at all this was supernatural, I had to get rid of this damn book. I grabbed it and decided to go on a drive. My town is surrouned by very large mountains, and somewhere on those mountains are deep rivers. I drove up to the mountain gates. Locked. No matter, I got of the car and climbed over the gate, then made my way up the path.
I didn't notice it at first, but the sun was setting, which meant the night animals would be coming out soon. At least I knew to expect strange noises. As I hiked towards the river, I felt a very chilling sensation across my body, as if it the winter had come early. That was very strange, given it was the middle of summer.
I chalked it up to the nightly air, and continued on my way. After about an hour of hiking, I finally made it to the river and dropped the book in the water. My eye caught something that made my heart sink. As the book touched the water, something swam underneath it. Something that looked human. At this time of day there's almost no one around, and less so anyone swimming.
I tried to make my way back to the car as quickly as possible, trying to ignore what I saw. There was no logical explanation outside of the supernatural. None that I could come up with anyway, and I did not want to accept the latter. The drive home was unnerving, to say the least. My mind stuck on that one moment. What was under that book? Was it just some random person swimming? Was it something else?
I couldn't sleep that night. I tried and failed. The tapping on my window kept me awake, but I dared not look to confirm my suspicions. I kept my back to the window all night. Once the sun started rising and casting light into my room, the tapping stopped. I got up and immediately went to my study. I didn't look inside. I just closed and locked the door. I didn't have to look. I know that book is on my desk.
Each night it's the same thing. The tapping on my window is steady, I've gotten used to it. Ironically, it helps me fall asleep now. I'm not going to look. I know what's outside.

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