Cooking catfish nuggets in air fryer
How to deal with women who don't change or shower after cooking?
2023.05.28 09:01 Successful_Ad_8686 How to deal with women who don't change or shower after cooking?
I am asking specifically about women because as a woman I meet them all the time in the mosque and other places. Wanted to clarify just in case.
I have noticed that some ladies don't mind coming to mosque or even public places like shopping malls or university with strong smell of cooking, and it is the +3 hours smell so it is really bad. It seems that they cook and few hours later come directly without showering and/or changing their clothes.
Is this normal in some countries? Like they don't mind the smell at all? How can I tell them that it is religiously not OK to come to the mosque with such smell? Or do they have a misconception that they must come yo the mosque even though - as women - they get the same reward if they pray at home?
It is understood some people live a hard life. I am used to people smelling bad because they work outdoors and need to do some grocery shopping because they need to eat or don't have transportation to go home shower then go grocery shopping. I would smell exactly the same or even worst if I was outdoor for hours.
But for a woman to come from home smelling this way... and it is not an urgent errand or an emergency to come without even changing...
It gets worst now with summer. The smell is so strong that it gets stuck in the air, a mix of cooking smell from few hours ago + sweat is unbearable...
submitted by Successful_Ad_8686 to qatar [link] [comments]
I have noticed that some ladies don't mind coming to mosque or even public places like shopping malls or university with strong smell of cooking, and it is the +3 hours smell so it is really bad. It seems that they cook and few hours later come directly without showering and/or changing their clothes.
Is this normal in some countries? Like they don't mind the smell at all? How can I tell them that it is religiously not OK to come to the mosque with such smell? Or do they have a misconception that they must come yo the mosque even though - as women - they get the same reward if they pray at home?
It is understood some people live a hard life. I am used to people smelling bad because they work outdoors and need to do some grocery shopping because they need to eat or don't have transportation to go home shower then go grocery shopping. I would smell exactly the same or even worst if I was outdoor for hours.
But for a woman to come from home smelling this way... and it is not an urgent errand or an emergency to come without even changing...
It gets worst now with summer. The smell is so strong that it gets stuck in the air, a mix of cooking smell from few hours ago + sweat is unbearable...
2023.05.28 07:57 SolaroscopyApollo The real reason the stars disappear from the city.
It was December 31st, 1999 and we just blew out my first double-digit candles.
My parents moved from Louisiana to inner-city Seattle, this means that I was surprised and kinda shocked to have my birthday party in Graham, in the countryside.
We just blew out my candles. It was 11:50 at night. Everyone was tired and knocked out due to eating ungodly amounts of Southern food that my mother had cooked.
I was laying on a big branch in the forest, not too far from the farm, I just needed to breathe while everyone was asleep. I'm a fast sleeper, so the noises almost carried to Sandman's graces but my mother popped out of nowhere. She was carrying a bundle of fireworks.
My mother was a nice and intiutive woman. They say that women in general have intuition. I just say that insane intuition is an my-mom only type trait. She always knew that I wasn't good with social gatherings and liked to listen to nature...sounds. not be in nature.
My mother climbed on top the giant branch.
She told me a story. A story about the stars.
She told me that the stars in heaven are ghosts. The ghosts always liked to be together and they never really wanted to be too alone.
When we were in the city, we never saw the stars.
I asked my mother, "When we were in Seattle, we don't ever see no stars. Why?"
My mother stopped and started to think. She followed it with, "My child, the stars are people too. Maybe we if saw them in the city where there are lots of people, we would find their most mysterious secrets. Now, they don't want that just like we have secrets we don't wanna tell."
"Mother, that's kinda dumb, what secret might they have that we don't know?"
"My boy, that's a secret only God knows."
We didn't speak for the rest of the night. We just shot fireworks. We didn't see the stars that night. We only saw fireworks as the rainbow explosion covered the sky of Heaven over Earth.
That was the best memory of my mother.
She died in her sleep of a brain aneurysm. Instant Death
When they let me coordinate the funeral, I had the coffin covered in a massive golden leaf star. We put the coffin back in her home in Louisiana.
This happened when I was 15. I spoke to a psychologist, Dr. T, as he was commonly referred to by his other patients due to his facial hair.. Dr. Tallman helped me through my mother's death. This kickstarted my passion for psychological research. Later when I was 25, I was a leading researcher for both psychology and astronomy for astronauts and others that were exposed to bizarre events or circumstances that affected psychological health as well as recording events in outer space.
On April 25th 2018, I was called down to NASA. I had a Level 7, also known as Level Apollyon. I had to move to a military base in Washington in the Rocky Mountains. I was still in a state of confusion. I was called down and I was told to never reveal the secret as it was top-secret classified information.
I walked down to the Solar Observation Room, the room specifically dealing with observation of the sun's inner sound. They said that they had a theory that only the Level 10s, specifically world leaders and leading researchers in the entire world know about.
They said that they are only allowing a certain piece of information to be allowed to Level 7 for researching events that happened concurrently to this revelation.
The stars were alive.
The stars had hearts inside which pumped.
We found them out in 1986, when a satellite, was near the sun and found a crater that showed a beating heart.
The stars were alive
The stars are real
The stars are alive?
I was dumbfounded to say the absolute simple least. The stars however were lately releasing unknown radiation or energy that was affecting Earth, it started happening in West Virginia.
We had multiple messages in 1986 after the sun was discovered as a organism.
"WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE."
"SLOW DOWN"
"NO LEARNING"
"WOLVES KILL SHEPHARDS"
We have no idea what the hell these messages are talking about.
This was the beginning of the end. We really had no way to going back, we didn't know we were supposed to.
May 29th, 2020, West Virginia.
I was writing down ideas in my notebook for years. Google Doc upon Google Doc filled with theories and explanations.
Known effects on West Virginia have only been tied to West Virginia.
These known effects are: - Merging of human and wildlife. - Carnivorous herbivores. - Raining specifically on cemeteries. - Bizarre lightning related activities around churches
Nothing too wild compared to the events that are happening right now in Seattle, New York, Los Angeles, and Miami.
Special teams called the Flashbangs are sent out after a bizarre event. These use a special gas to make them forget approximately 10 hours. Some civilian who may be immune are euthanized in secret.
The first of these events happened in West Virginia.
At 6:30 PM, the rain had turn from clear to a red color and had started to rise up back into the air in the form of droplets. The water factory in West Virginia had to stop all water after finding out that a third of the water had turned into sheep blood.
The citizens and people at the factory were visited by the Flashbangs.
I landed in Virginia for the second event that happened. It was unusually snowy, it was reported in the forest. I drove on an ATV, alone into the thick wood. The trip was 7-ish minutes until I came up on a meateating doe was feasting a rabbit. The glowing eyes stared into my head.
"YOU ARE STILL LOOKING UP. STOP."
"THIS IS A WARNING"
"HAVE FAITH"
I immediately reported the findings to my superior.
I decided that I needed to breathe. I went to my home in Seattle and took a paid leave.
April 12, 2022
I decided to take around and out of the city for a minute. I was watching the sky as I was driving in my car. The stars were not there. It was just light pollution. I started to crack a smile as the stars begin to pop up as I went further and further away from the city.
I started to think, if the stars were trying to warn us, why didn't they tell the public?
I stopped the car when I looked down and saw another fucking doe.
The neck started contorting into a weird shape, new flesh was growing into the throat of the deer. The deer looked like it was going choke on it's own neck.
"Stop looking up."
It spoke calmly. More calmly than the last doe in West Virginia.
Then more of them showed up.
"Stop looking up, STOP IT."
They went away.
I immediately drew a connection to the stars in the sky.
This may be what I can write at the moment. I need to sleep.
My alcohol is getting low and I don't wanna talk about this. I'm going to speak on this, tomorrow.
submitted by SolaroscopyApollo to nosleep [link] [comments]
My parents moved from Louisiana to inner-city Seattle, this means that I was surprised and kinda shocked to have my birthday party in Graham, in the countryside.
We just blew out my candles. It was 11:50 at night. Everyone was tired and knocked out due to eating ungodly amounts of Southern food that my mother had cooked.
I was laying on a big branch in the forest, not too far from the farm, I just needed to breathe while everyone was asleep. I'm a fast sleeper, so the noises almost carried to Sandman's graces but my mother popped out of nowhere. She was carrying a bundle of fireworks.
My mother was a nice and intiutive woman. They say that women in general have intuition. I just say that insane intuition is an my-mom only type trait. She always knew that I wasn't good with social gatherings and liked to listen to nature...sounds. not be in nature.
My mother climbed on top the giant branch.
She told me a story. A story about the stars.
She told me that the stars in heaven are ghosts. The ghosts always liked to be together and they never really wanted to be too alone.
When we were in the city, we never saw the stars.
I asked my mother, "When we were in Seattle, we don't ever see no stars. Why?"
My mother stopped and started to think. She followed it with, "My child, the stars are people too. Maybe we if saw them in the city where there are lots of people, we would find their most mysterious secrets. Now, they don't want that just like we have secrets we don't wanna tell."
"Mother, that's kinda dumb, what secret might they have that we don't know?"
"My boy, that's a secret only God knows."
We didn't speak for the rest of the night. We just shot fireworks. We didn't see the stars that night. We only saw fireworks as the rainbow explosion covered the sky of Heaven over Earth.
That was the best memory of my mother.
She died in her sleep of a brain aneurysm. Instant Death
When they let me coordinate the funeral, I had the coffin covered in a massive golden leaf star. We put the coffin back in her home in Louisiana.
This happened when I was 15. I spoke to a psychologist, Dr. T, as he was commonly referred to by his other patients due to his facial hair.. Dr. Tallman helped me through my mother's death. This kickstarted my passion for psychological research. Later when I was 25, I was a leading researcher for both psychology and astronomy for astronauts and others that were exposed to bizarre events or circumstances that affected psychological health as well as recording events in outer space.
On April 25th 2018, I was called down to NASA. I had a Level 7, also known as Level Apollyon. I had to move to a military base in Washington in the Rocky Mountains. I was still in a state of confusion. I was called down and I was told to never reveal the secret as it was top-secret classified information.
I walked down to the Solar Observation Room, the room specifically dealing with observation of the sun's inner sound. They said that they had a theory that only the Level 10s, specifically world leaders and leading researchers in the entire world know about.
They said that they are only allowing a certain piece of information to be allowed to Level 7 for researching events that happened concurrently to this revelation.
The stars were alive.
The stars had hearts inside which pumped.
We found them out in 1986, when a satellite, was near the sun and found a crater that showed a beating heart.
The stars were alive
The stars are real
The stars are alive?
I was dumbfounded to say the absolute simple least. The stars however were lately releasing unknown radiation or energy that was affecting Earth, it started happening in West Virginia.
We had multiple messages in 1986 after the sun was discovered as a organism.
"WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE."
"SLOW DOWN"
"NO LEARNING"
"WOLVES KILL SHEPHARDS"
We have no idea what the hell these messages are talking about.
This was the beginning of the end. We really had no way to going back, we didn't know we were supposed to.
May 29th, 2020, West Virginia.
I was writing down ideas in my notebook for years. Google Doc upon Google Doc filled with theories and explanations.
Known effects on West Virginia have only been tied to West Virginia.
These known effects are: - Merging of human and wildlife. - Carnivorous herbivores. - Raining specifically on cemeteries. - Bizarre lightning related activities around churches
Nothing too wild compared to the events that are happening right now in Seattle, New York, Los Angeles, and Miami.
Special teams called the Flashbangs are sent out after a bizarre event. These use a special gas to make them forget approximately 10 hours. Some civilian who may be immune are euthanized in secret.
The first of these events happened in West Virginia.
At 6:30 PM, the rain had turn from clear to a red color and had started to rise up back into the air in the form of droplets. The water factory in West Virginia had to stop all water after finding out that a third of the water had turned into sheep blood.
The citizens and people at the factory were visited by the Flashbangs.
I landed in Virginia for the second event that happened. It was unusually snowy, it was reported in the forest. I drove on an ATV, alone into the thick wood. The trip was 7-ish minutes until I came up on a meateating doe was feasting a rabbit. The glowing eyes stared into my head.
"YOU ARE STILL LOOKING UP. STOP."
"THIS IS A WARNING"
"HAVE FAITH"
I immediately reported the findings to my superior.
I decided that I needed to breathe. I went to my home in Seattle and took a paid leave.
April 12, 2022
I decided to take around and out of the city for a minute. I was watching the sky as I was driving in my car. The stars were not there. It was just light pollution. I started to crack a smile as the stars begin to pop up as I went further and further away from the city.
I started to think, if the stars were trying to warn us, why didn't they tell the public?
I stopped the car when I looked down and saw another fucking doe.
The neck started contorting into a weird shape, new flesh was growing into the throat of the deer. The deer looked like it was going choke on it's own neck.
"Stop looking up."
It spoke calmly. More calmly than the last doe in West Virginia.
Then more of them showed up.
"Stop looking up, STOP IT."
They went away.
I immediately drew a connection to the stars in the sky.
This may be what I can write at the moment. I need to sleep.
My alcohol is getting low and I don't wanna talk about this. I'm going to speak on this, tomorrow.
2023.05.28 07:40 WorldAfter4433 what are your go-to meals to prep ahead of time?
especially things that keep well (either in fridge or even better if the freezer) and pack in lots of veggies and nutrition?
I mostly will prepare a grain/legume base ahead of time (like boiling lentils or quinoa in bulk) and then make some veggies (usually broccoli and carrots) in the air fryer with some fish sometimes too fresh that day. And while the air fryer is going I’ll make a quick salad with cucumbers and tomatoes and feta. It’s super simple and has been working well, but I’m looking for a little more variety and actual meals that require even less prep day of, since sometimes I work 8am-9:30pm and would love to just grab something out of the fridge with no prep needed.
also just curious what u all have been eating! any fav recipes u make over and over? please share below!’ :)
submitted by WorldAfter4433 to mediterraneandiet [link] [comments]
I mostly will prepare a grain/legume base ahead of time (like boiling lentils or quinoa in bulk) and then make some veggies (usually broccoli and carrots) in the air fryer with some fish sometimes too fresh that day. And while the air fryer is going I’ll make a quick salad with cucumbers and tomatoes and feta. It’s super simple and has been working well, but I’m looking for a little more variety and actual meals that require even less prep day of, since sometimes I work 8am-9:30pm and would love to just grab something out of the fridge with no prep needed.
also just curious what u all have been eating! any fav recipes u make over and over? please share below!’ :)
2023.05.28 07:23 beyondhome5 💥Newly Reno💥 Hotel Room w Own Bath ⭐️ Jalan Bukit Bintang ⭐️ Walk to MRT, Sungei Wang, Alor ⭐️ Near Pudu, Imbi, Cheras, Sg Besi, Petaling Street
 | Terence 60123938810 submitted by beyondhome5 to u/beyondhome5 [link] [comments] Whatsapp: https://appoin.me/terence_qBZC Room Detail: https://appoin.me/rooms_vBSrB Location: Jalan Bukit Bintang, KLCC Price Range: RM1200 to RM1400 a month Fully Furnished Hotel Room come with 🛋️ Bed, Bed Frame, Wardrobe, Table, Chair 🚿 Private Bathroom 🔆 Air-con 🚿 Water Heater 💡 High-Speed Wifi Transportation: 🚶♂️ Bukit Bintang MRT – 300 meter 🚶♂️ Sungai Buloh-Kajang MRT Line – 300 meter 🚶♂️ Monorail Imbi – 500 meter Popular landmarks ⭐️Jalan Alor – 140 meter ⭐️Jalan Changkat Bukit Bintang – 170 meter ⭐️Lot 10 Bukit Bintang - 300 meter ⭐️Pavilion Bukit Bintang – 460 meter ⭐️Time Square – 500 meter ⭐️Lalaport Mall – 500 meter ⭐️KLCC – 650 meter ⭐️Menara KL – 800 meter ⭐️Petronas Twin Towers – 1.1 km ⭐️Petaling Street – 1.5 km 🗑️ Cleaning Service 🛠️ Maintenance Service Team ☎️ Careline Service Team 🔥With cooking area, fridge, water dispenser, stove 💦 With laundry area (washer and dryer) We have more than 300 ROOMS in Bukit Bintang, Pudu, Sg Besi, Maluri, Setapak, Wangsa Maju, Petaling Street... Feel free to contact us! ... |
2023.05.28 06:11 heartlandmiami Amylu Chicken Burgers
 | Welcome to Amylu Chicken Burgers! We are proud to offer our delicious selection of premium, all-natural chicken burgers. Our chicken is farm fresh and hormone free, ground daily for the freshest flavor possible in every burger. Only premium ingredients go into an Amylu Chicken Burger; top quality cheese, fresh vegetables from local farms, and only the best quality whole wheat buns found anywhere in the region. We take pride in offering you a nutritious alternative that will tantalize your taste buds and provide a healthy meal option for yourself or your family. Join us today to enjoy an amazing advantage of having real gourmet food delivered right to your door. submitted by heartlandmiami to u/heartlandmiami [link] [comments] Where to find Amylu Chicken Burgers?We are available in select grocery stores and restaurants. You can also order our burgers online for delivery or pickup at your nearest location. Our convenient ordering system makes it easy to get your favorite burgers from the comfort of your own home. Browse through our selection and choose the flavors you want, then just sit back and enjoy the deliciousness. Where to find Amylu Chicken Burgers? The Benefits of Choosing Amylu Chicken BurgersOur chicken burgers are made with all-natural, hormone-free, farm fresh ingredients for a delicious and healthy meal. We offer a variety of flavors to choose from so you can find something that suits your taste buds. Our burgers are high in protein and come loaded with vegetables for added nutrition. And because our burgers are cooked on the spot, they’re always hot and fresh.The Secret Ingredients in Amylu Chicken BurgersOur secret ingredients are the same ones used to make traditional burgers – only we use all-natural, hormone-free chicken and premium quality cheese. We also add fresh vegetables to each burger for an extra boost of nutrition. And our special recipe ensures that each bite is juicy, tender and full of flavor. The Secret Ingredients in Amylu Chicken Burgers How to Cook Perfectly Tasty Amylu Chicken Burgers?Cooking our burgers is easy! Just preheat your grill or pan to high heat, about 375°F. Place the burgers on the hot surface and let them cook for about 3 minutes per side, flipping once mid-way through. Serve with your favorite sides and enjoy a delicious chicken burger that’s ready in no time.Creative Recipes with Amylu Chicken BurgersOur burgers are so versatile that you can create endless recipes. Get creative and add your favorite toppings such as bacon, grilled vegetables, or even a sweet glaze. Our burgers are also delicious served in wraps along with fresh greens, tomatoes and avocado. Enjoy experimenting and creating new recipes for an exciting meal every time. Creative Recipes with Amylu Chicken Burgers FAQ: AmyluAre Amylu chicken burgers processed?Indulge in the natural taste of Amylu Chicken Burgers. Unlike processed options, these delectable patties are crafted from authentic ingredients, such as succulent white chicken meat, crunchy bell peppers, and fresh green onion, all united by our signature blend of seasonings. Satisfy your cravings with a flavorful burger that's free of artifice.What are the ingredients in Amylu chicken burgers?Enjoy Antibiotic-Free Chicken with an Array of Pepper Varieties and Flavorful Spices. Our Chicken dish also Contains Parsley, Crushed Red Pepper, Paprika, Extract of Rosemary, Onion, Garlic, Kosher Salt, and Vinegar for a Truly Unforgettable Meal.Are amylu burgers precooked?Our burgers are pre-cooked and oh-so-easy to prepare. Simply remove them from the easy-open pack before heating up. For stove top cooking, preheat a non-stick skillet and warm over medium heat. Turn the burgers frequently until they are warmed through. Delight in a delicious meal without any fuss.Is amylu chicken sausage processed?Looking for a chicken sausage that offers both nutritional value and sustainability? Look no further than Amylu Andouille Chicken Sausage. While it is highly processed, this sausage has a moderate carbon and water footprint, making it a decent option for anyone looking to make a positive impact on the environment. Plus, it's packed with nutrients to help you stay healthy. Consider adding it to your grocery list today.How to air fry amylu chicken burgers?Looking for a quick way to cook your burger? Using a microwave or an air fryer is easy and takes only a few minutes! For a microwave, simply place one burger on a microwave-safe plate and heat on high for about a minute. Depending on your microwave, the times may vary. For an air fryer, preheat to 375°F and cook the burger for around 6 minutes until it is warm.Conclusion: Amylu Chicken BurgersAmylu Chicken Burgers are a delicious and nutritious meal option that can be enjoyed in many different ways. Our all-natural, hormone-free chicken is farm fresh and ground daily for the freshest flavor possible. We use only premium ingredients such as top quality cheese, fresh vegetables from local farms, and whole wheat buns in every burger. Enjoy our burgers cooked on the spot or experiment with creative recipes for an exciting meal every time! With convenient ordering options and easy cooking methods, you’ll be enjoying delicious burgers in no time with Amylu Chicken Burgers.#HeartLandMiami #HeartLandMiami #HeartLandMiami |
2023.05.28 05:01 KayakingHedgehog 36 [M4F] NC - Did I bring a tear to your eye or was it just the allergies?
It’s that time of year again! Love is in the air along with all the plant jizz, and I am looking for the someone who is willing to venture out into this yellow, dusty mess with me, and then come home and just take a nap before our sinuses close up in anger and we cough ourselves to sleep. I am looking for someone to vent my mundane troubles too, someone that I know would be there to help with whatever may come up, and someone that I can laugh with, someone to cry with, someone that would just run with a crazy idea without hesitation.
Enough about me! Let’s talk about what you may be looking for! Are you looking for that special someone? You know, the one that laugh with on a daily basis. The one that you can have an entire conversation with using nothing but funny pictures? Are you looking for the creepy and the kooky? What about the mysterious and spooky? Would that someone be a person with a mohawk that is forever changing colors? How about a neatly trimmed beard that smells of sandalwood? What about the smell of Old Spice? Would that person also happen to have a few piercings and tattoos? Do you like the twang of a Southern accent? What if that accent was happen to be from a guy who is open minded? Do you enjoy a quick wit? How about being fluent in smartassary? How about a guy that is taking care of way too many fish? How about a guy who is starting to find grey hairs in his beard and is embracing the chance to become a silver fox?
Would you like for that person to be able to build a computer and change your oil all in the same day? How about having your tires rotated, breaks changed? I can even do headlights and air filters! Does the thought of helping turtles cross a busy road and helping tiny tadpoles stay safe with a pool of water during the summer tickle your fancy? Would you like to come home and have a pot roast and chocolate cake waiting for you? How about coming home to that random piece of IKEA furniture fully assembled? What about someone who would help while you built the IKEA? Does the idea of a guy who has reached the level of old that he enjoys puzzles intrigue you? How about if he has a love for cats that like to sit on said unfinished puzzles? Are you looking for a guy who can change your oil, replace your brakes, and cook you dinner in the same day? How about a guy who is good with his hands and knows it? If you answered yes to any of these questions, the nerdy home maker package is for you! Who doesn’t want help around the house, basic maintaince taken care of, and some good dick?
Do you have an endless supply of DIY ideas? Well look no further because I do too! Ever wanted a stylish bat house or raised garden bed? I have made both! Would you want a greenhouse? I have plenty of ideas for that! Do you like watching a guy get dirty restoring canoes or building trailers? Do you have a Mad Max fantasy you want to live out? Do you want a house straight from the shire? I have the skills and the 3d printers to make you swoon with possibilities! If you answered yes to any of these questions, the glistening geek package is for you! What’s not to love about watching someone you like getting sweaty while watching your ideas come to life?
For a limited time, if you pick both packages, I will add in the nerdy outdoorsman package for no extra charge! Want to stay in one weekend and marathon Doctor Who, Star Trek, or Futurama? Do you want to play Don’t Starve Together, DnD, or Civ 6? How about Nerf gun fight, or a game of Mario for bragging rights? Feel like staying up late bundled under a load of blankets watching B movies or playing all manor of video, board, or card games? Feel like getting outdoors instead? I can offer spontaneous adventures that may include wondering aimlessly, hiking, and floating blissfully down a river which singing the PACMAN theme song! Random acts of hilarity that could include striking poses and quoting pop culture references! Are you more of a night owl? I can offer you a view of the stars with my telescope!
How about it? Wanna get itchy eyes and a runny nose with me?
submitted by KayakingHedgehog to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]
Enough about me! Let’s talk about what you may be looking for! Are you looking for that special someone? You know, the one that laugh with on a daily basis. The one that you can have an entire conversation with using nothing but funny pictures? Are you looking for the creepy and the kooky? What about the mysterious and spooky? Would that someone be a person with a mohawk that is forever changing colors? How about a neatly trimmed beard that smells of sandalwood? What about the smell of Old Spice? Would that person also happen to have a few piercings and tattoos? Do you like the twang of a Southern accent? What if that accent was happen to be from a guy who is open minded? Do you enjoy a quick wit? How about being fluent in smartassary? How about a guy that is taking care of way too many fish? How about a guy who is starting to find grey hairs in his beard and is embracing the chance to become a silver fox?
Would you like for that person to be able to build a computer and change your oil all in the same day? How about having your tires rotated, breaks changed? I can even do headlights and air filters! Does the thought of helping turtles cross a busy road and helping tiny tadpoles stay safe with a pool of water during the summer tickle your fancy? Would you like to come home and have a pot roast and chocolate cake waiting for you? How about coming home to that random piece of IKEA furniture fully assembled? What about someone who would help while you built the IKEA? Does the idea of a guy who has reached the level of old that he enjoys puzzles intrigue you? How about if he has a love for cats that like to sit on said unfinished puzzles? Are you looking for a guy who can change your oil, replace your brakes, and cook you dinner in the same day? How about a guy who is good with his hands and knows it? If you answered yes to any of these questions, the nerdy home maker package is for you! Who doesn’t want help around the house, basic maintaince taken care of, and some good dick?
Do you have an endless supply of DIY ideas? Well look no further because I do too! Ever wanted a stylish bat house or raised garden bed? I have made both! Would you want a greenhouse? I have plenty of ideas for that! Do you like watching a guy get dirty restoring canoes or building trailers? Do you have a Mad Max fantasy you want to live out? Do you want a house straight from the shire? I have the skills and the 3d printers to make you swoon with possibilities! If you answered yes to any of these questions, the glistening geek package is for you! What’s not to love about watching someone you like getting sweaty while watching your ideas come to life?
For a limited time, if you pick both packages, I will add in the nerdy outdoorsman package for no extra charge! Want to stay in one weekend and marathon Doctor Who, Star Trek, or Futurama? Do you want to play Don’t Starve Together, DnD, or Civ 6? How about Nerf gun fight, or a game of Mario for bragging rights? Feel like staying up late bundled under a load of blankets watching B movies or playing all manor of video, board, or card games? Feel like getting outdoors instead? I can offer spontaneous adventures that may include wondering aimlessly, hiking, and floating blissfully down a river which singing the PACMAN theme song! Random acts of hilarity that could include striking poses and quoting pop culture references! Are you more of a night owl? I can offer you a view of the stars with my telescope!
How about it? Wanna get itchy eyes and a runny nose with me?
2023.05.28 05:00 KayakingHedgehog 36 [M4F] NC - Did I bring a tear to your eye or was it just the allergies?
It’s that time of year again! Love is in the air along with all the plant jizz, and I am looking for the someone who is willing to venture out into this yellow, dusty mess with me, and then come home and just take a nap before our sinuses close up in anger and we cough ourselves to sleep. I am looking for someone to vent my mundane troubles too, someone that I know would be there to help with whatever may come up, and someone that I can laugh with, someone to cry with, someone that would just run with a crazy idea without hesitation.
Enough about me! Let’s talk about what you may be looking for! Are you looking for that special someone? You know, the one that laugh with on a daily basis. The one that you can have an entire conversation with using nothing but funny pictures? Are you looking for the creepy and the kooky? What about the mysterious and spooky? Would that someone be a person with a mohawk that is forever changing colors? How about a neatly trimmed beard that smells of sandalwood? What about the smell of Old Spice? Would that person also happen to have a few piercings and tattoos? Do you like the twang of a Southern accent? What if that accent was happen to be from a guy who is open minded? Do you enjoy a quick wit? How about being fluent in smartassary? How about a guy that is taking care of way too many fish? How about a guy who is starting to find grey hairs in his beard and is embracing the chance to become a silver fox?
Would you like for that person to be able to build a computer and change your oil all in the same day? How about having your tires rotated, breaks changed? I can even do headlights and air filters! Does the thought of helping turtles cross a busy road and helping tiny tadpoles stay safe with a pool of water during the summer tickle your fancy? Would you like to come home and have a pot roast and chocolate cake waiting for you? How about coming home to that random piece of IKEA furniture fully assembled? What about someone who would help while you built the IKEA? Does the idea of a guy who has reached the level of old that he enjoys puzzles intrigue you? How about if he has a love for cats that like to sit on said unfinished puzzles? Are you looking for a guy who can change your oil, replace your brakes, and cook you dinner in the same day? How about a guy who is good with his hands and knows it? If you answered yes to any of these questions, the nerdy home maker package is for you! Who doesn’t want help around the house, basic maintaince taken care of, and some good dick?
Do you have an endless supply of DIY ideas? Well look no further because I do too! Ever wanted a stylish bat house or raised garden bed? I have made both! Would you want a greenhouse? I have plenty of ideas for that! Do you like watching a guy get dirty restoring canoes or building trailers? Do you have a Mad Max fantasy you want to live out? Do you want a house straight from the shire? I have the skills and the 3d printers to make you swoon with possibilities! If you answered yes to any of these questions, the glistening geek package is for you! What’s not to love about watching someone you like getting sweaty while watching your ideas come to life?
For a limited time, if you pick both packages, I will add in the nerdy outdoorsman package for no extra charge! Want to stay in one weekend and marathon Doctor Who, Star Trek, or Futurama? Do you want to play Don’t Starve Together, DnD, or Civ 6? How about Nerf gun fight, or a game of Mario for bragging rights? Feel like staying up late bundled under a load of blankets watching B movies or playing all manor of video, board, or card games? Feel like getting outdoors instead? I can offer spontaneous adventures that may include wondering aimlessly, hiking, and floating blissfully down a river which singing the PACMAN theme song! Random acts of hilarity that could include striking poses and quoting pop culture references! Are you more of a night owl? I can offer you a view of the stars with my telescope!
How about it? Wanna get itchy eyes and a runny nose with me?
submitted by KayakingHedgehog to r4r [link] [comments]
Enough about me! Let’s talk about what you may be looking for! Are you looking for that special someone? You know, the one that laugh with on a daily basis. The one that you can have an entire conversation with using nothing but funny pictures? Are you looking for the creepy and the kooky? What about the mysterious and spooky? Would that someone be a person with a mohawk that is forever changing colors? How about a neatly trimmed beard that smells of sandalwood? What about the smell of Old Spice? Would that person also happen to have a few piercings and tattoos? Do you like the twang of a Southern accent? What if that accent was happen to be from a guy who is open minded? Do you enjoy a quick wit? How about being fluent in smartassary? How about a guy that is taking care of way too many fish? How about a guy who is starting to find grey hairs in his beard and is embracing the chance to become a silver fox?
Would you like for that person to be able to build a computer and change your oil all in the same day? How about having your tires rotated, breaks changed? I can even do headlights and air filters! Does the thought of helping turtles cross a busy road and helping tiny tadpoles stay safe with a pool of water during the summer tickle your fancy? Would you like to come home and have a pot roast and chocolate cake waiting for you? How about coming home to that random piece of IKEA furniture fully assembled? What about someone who would help while you built the IKEA? Does the idea of a guy who has reached the level of old that he enjoys puzzles intrigue you? How about if he has a love for cats that like to sit on said unfinished puzzles? Are you looking for a guy who can change your oil, replace your brakes, and cook you dinner in the same day? How about a guy who is good with his hands and knows it? If you answered yes to any of these questions, the nerdy home maker package is for you! Who doesn’t want help around the house, basic maintaince taken care of, and some good dick?
Do you have an endless supply of DIY ideas? Well look no further because I do too! Ever wanted a stylish bat house or raised garden bed? I have made both! Would you want a greenhouse? I have plenty of ideas for that! Do you like watching a guy get dirty restoring canoes or building trailers? Do you have a Mad Max fantasy you want to live out? Do you want a house straight from the shire? I have the skills and the 3d printers to make you swoon with possibilities! If you answered yes to any of these questions, the glistening geek package is for you! What’s not to love about watching someone you like getting sweaty while watching your ideas come to life?
For a limited time, if you pick both packages, I will add in the nerdy outdoorsman package for no extra charge! Want to stay in one weekend and marathon Doctor Who, Star Trek, or Futurama? Do you want to play Don’t Starve Together, DnD, or Civ 6? How about Nerf gun fight, or a game of Mario for bragging rights? Feel like staying up late bundled under a load of blankets watching B movies or playing all manor of video, board, or card games? Feel like getting outdoors instead? I can offer spontaneous adventures that may include wondering aimlessly, hiking, and floating blissfully down a river which singing the PACMAN theme song! Random acts of hilarity that could include striking poses and quoting pop culture references! Are you more of a night owl? I can offer you a view of the stars with my telescope!
How about it? Wanna get itchy eyes and a runny nose with me?
2023.05.28 05:00 Kazevenikov Cryptid Chronicle - Chapter 30
A special thanks to u/bluefishcake for the wonderful original story and sandbox to play in.
A special thanks to my editors LordHenry7898, RandomTinkerer, Swimming_Good_8507, CatsInTrenchcoats, and KLiCKonthat.
And a big thanks to the authors and their stories that inspired me to tell my own in this universe. RandomTinkerer (City Slickers and Hayseeds), Punnynfunny (Denied Operations), CompassWithHat (Top Lasgun), CarCU131 (The Cook), and Rhion-618 (Just One Drop)
Hy’shq’e Ay Si’am (Thank you noble friends)
Chapter 30: A Promise Kept
Kalai stepped off the shuttle to the Vaida’s headquarters and into a running tackle-hug from Sitry. “Oh Kalai, I could kill you right now! You got to see the Great Barrier Reef in person, you bitch!” Sitry’s cheerful voice was muffled from where she was still buried in her chest. Kalai staggered backwards a pace or two, happy to be back from her whirlwind adventure around Earth with her father.
Naranjo and Papa Rhaxiid were there on the platform to welcome her back too, but their welcomes were more sedate.
“Not to mention you got out of work for half our damn trip. Ugh, it’s so not fair!” Naranjo huffed as Kalai gave him a sisterly hug.
Papa Rhaxiid reached up and chucked her chin before turning to lead the way back inside from the forested platform. “Welcome back, sweet-sprout, we’ve missed you. Come on, we’ll get you settled again and off to work. There’s quite a bit you need to catch up on if you want your credits.”
The chuckles from the twins behind her were full of sibling malice, but she knew how to shut the pair of them up. “Papa Rhaxiid? I’ve got the paper on Biodiversity in the Reef you asked for, along with the dissection report and stomach content analysis of the tuna we caught. I want to put the finishing touches on it and do a final proofread first before I send them to you.” The man turned and gave her a warm smile as they entered the building.
“Good, why don’t you go take your things back up and say hello to Andy? I’ll give you an hour and a half to get freshened up, then I want you to report to Aquarium 12 with Dr. Sor’ansa. You can put your snorkeling practice to work there.” Papa Rhaxiid walked the three of them to the residential elevator. “I’m heading back to my office. Andy’s been requested by Maetro Pae’ella to work the kitchens for something called ‘Bison burgers'. Apparently it’s a type of indigenous bovine that the eastern Bands raise. That and something from Europe called ‘French Fries’.”
Kalai couldn’t help but get excited as she and her siblings piled into the elevator back to their little shared apartment. Sure the food she’d had all over the place was good, but so far nothing had been able to compare to Andy and his Salishian cooking.
“Nerd, I can’t believe you cheated and did work on your vacation." Naranjo broke the silence of the elevator after a little bit and stuck his tongue out at her.
“Spit to windward, you vain little weed. Don’t hate me because I’m awesome.” Kalai’s riposte caused Naranjo to fold his arms and huff. Sitry simply ambushed her with an ear flick.
The elevator door opened to their floor before Kalai couldn’t bear the silence from Sitry any longer. “So, did you bag him yet, you lucky bitch?”
“No she hasn’t!” Naranjo’s singsong mockery of his sister interrupted Sitry’s response. “Papa hasn’t let Sitry even NEAR Andy without one of them around!”
“Rub it in, you snitch, besides, he did kiss me first,” Sitry preened happily as she playfully shoved Kalai’s shoulder.
Kalai pretended to stumble and almost caught Sitry’s foot, but she was just a hair too slow. “Yeah, and then you gave him a black eye, you clod.”
“Will you let it go? It was an accident!”
“It’s not even the only one he got either." Naranjo’s interjection stopped her right in front of their door.
“Wait, what? Who hurt him this time?” Kalai let her bag thunk to the floor as she turned to look accusingly between Sitry and Narny.
Sitry folded her arms and her ears twitched back as she shot a dark look at their door. “He ‘fell down’ yesterday while out at one of the Hatcheries we gave to the Hwatcoms. Mrs. Toloui nearly had a fit! She said she could smell another human on him and that he was covered in blood!”
Narny nodded primly as Kalai tried to process what they were telling her. “WHAT? Did she call out the militia? Track down whoever hurt him?”
“No, and he refused treatment and insisted that no one did it to him! When papa tried to talk to him, Andy said some stupid human macho shit about pain healing and birds liking scars. I don’t know, sometimes humans… they’re frickin’ insane!”
The door shot open and there stood Andy. His left eye was an angry puffy yellow and blue mess, and there were three points on his lips where a dark cinnabar line marked a crack. Kalai and her siblings stood in wide eyed shock at his sudden appearance and the only sound was the music emanating from the common room behind him.
Andy looked up and down at the three without saying a word. He cocked an eyebrow and snagged Kalai’s bag before any of them could react and cleared the doorway for them.
Kalai sputtered at the impropriety but Naranjo and Sitry just shrugged and walked in after Andy. “Femboys, am I right?” Narny whispered to Kalai as he passed. Kalai followed behind and was greeted by the white fluff-ball, Puck, who hopped up and down, whining for attention. She bent down and started scratching his ears and back. While Puck rubbed up against her hands, Andy settled back down at the table where his omnipad was hooked up to a keypad. Her heart started to sink a bit and Kalai shot Sitry a jealous look before the music came to a sudden halt and Andy interrupted the beginnings of her pity party.
“Ok, Kem’ira, I got the pics now and I’m telling you to declare yourself to the farmers first! I guarantee if you tell them you’re with the new DNR and you’re there to kill all the Scotch Broom in their pasture lands, they’ll stop trying to shoot you for trespassing!”
Kalai’s mood jumped up a bit. It’s not that he doesn’t care to see me, he’s in a meeting!
“No, no I’m not coming out to talk this over with them, I’ve got my own work to do! Either you start talking to folks like I showed you how, or ask the militia to give you one of their armored catsuits to wear under your uniform… Uh-huh, good luck." Andy hung up on the call and leaned back as Puck scampered over and hopped up in his lap.
Andy rubbed his temples before shaking his head. He seemed to relax a bit and Puck slid off to follow Sitry to the kitchen. Andy looked over and gave Kalai a happy smile that made her flush. “Welcome back! So how was the land down under? That tuna was fan-frickin’-tastic, if you aren’t sick of seafood I’ll do something fancy with it tomorrow to celebrate your coming back. Can’t tonight though, I got volun-told to be head chef tonight and I… Oh damnit! I’m late! Come to dinner, burgers and fries Indian style tonight. Gotta run!” With that, Andy went dashing out the door with Puck barking and scrambling along after him.
Kalai felt her heart sink back down again, as he left. “Andy I-” She started but he was gone.
“Yeah, it’s been like that for the whole week. The only time we get to hang out is dinner.” Sitry commiserated as she took Kalai’s bag into their room. “On the other hand, we might get to catch up during the family meal tonight.”
The dinner was delicious, though a bit weird. It tasted alright, but there was a certain aftertaste on the sandwich that just didn’t sit right with Kalai. She just couldn’t put her finger on it. The french fries more than made up for it though, and Mama Sakalbi had to hold a science trivia contest to see who got the last little handful.
Kalai and Narny were already silently plotting with each other for their revenge against their sister who had won and refused to share the last few matchsticks when Andy finally joined their table. He was sweaty and he smelled of woodsmoke and french fries. Kalai jumped up and offered him a seat next to her with a nervous smile. He took it gratefully and seemed to sag a bit as he gulped down a glass of water.
“Andy, I think you may be finding your calling as a culinary ambassador,” Mama Aftasia beamed. “A toast to the chef!”
Andy gave a shy smile and looked down as Kalai and the rest of the family gave a hearty ‘Here, here!”
“It’s a simple enough recipe; it’s just using bison instead of cow, that’s all, and I don’t know anyone who’d turn down hand cut fresh fries. It’s kind of hard to screw up.”
“Young man, you are speaking to a woman who found a way to take cold water and dried wumpa flakes and wind up with a Class-4 fire. Cooking has always seemed like ‘blight mysticism’ to me, and these foods? These flavors? Nothing short of a Greenwood miracle in my opinion." Mama Aftasia continued her praise of Andy, which only caused him to shrink even lower in his seat.
“To be honest, I like your salmon better,” Kalai said, and the whole table went silent. Kalai held her ground though, and was rewarded with a tired but genuine laugh from Andy that brought him back out of his shell.
“You know, I do too. My Clan were fisherpeople, not buffalo chasers.” Andy gave Kalai a cheeky grin, which she returned happily, her heart glowing. Mama Aftasia and Mama Sakalbi both blinked in bemusement at Andy’s statement while Sitry just giggled.
“Speaking of which, Andy, I received a call from Elder Alex Hwatcom.” Papa Rhaxiid’s change of subject instantly perked Andy up, and he stared silently, waiting. “He extended an invitation to our family to attend his family gathering this Friday-”
“Alex said that? He used those words?” Andy shook his head in shock as he interrupted Papa Rhaxiid. The table went quiet and everyone held their breath as they looked between the two men.
Papa Rhaxiid adopted as good an impression of the human Elder as he could. “I’d like to extend an invitation for you and your family to be guests at our family gathering this saturday up at the White… something… lodge-”
“The White Ram Lodge?” Andy sat forward, interjecting again as the color drained from his face.
“Yes, that’s the one! I asked if we could bring anything since the last time they hosted us they put on that wonderful spread. He said if we could bring a few salmon for the family, that would be wonderful.”
Andy leaned back and took another sip of ice water before holding the glass to his blackened eye. “Alex Hwatcom… just invited you… to a gathering… and he told you to ‘bring a few salmon’? Do you realize what a huge honor this is?”
Rhaxiid looked from his wives to his children with mild concern. “Um, I thought it was only dinner, but your reaction tells me there’s more significance to this than I originally thought. I was thinking about our stocks of adult Sockeye, but then I remembered in his story how important King Salmon are. Of course, I’d like to defer to you for the choice since you know these animals and the cultural expectations with this invitation better than we do.”
Andy was silent for a moment before he put the glass down. “I’d recommend a ‘hard no’ to all your clone stock!” Now it was the Vaidas’ turn to be shocked, as each of Kalai’s Erbian family’s jaws dropped in synch. Before anyone could say anything, Andy continued, “You need to bring wild-caught. Farm-raised salmon wouldn’t… well we can tell, and you can taste the difference between them. We need to go fishing!” Kalai leaned towards Andy slightly as he lowered his head and started mumbling to himself. She was just able to make out what he was saying to himself as Mama Sakalbi and Mama Aftasia began whispering to each other. “...need to get the Gillnetter out of storage, check what’s running and select the mesh. I’m gonna need a deckhand too.”
Kalai reached a hand out but stopped short of touching him. “Andy?”
He popped up and spoke for the whole table to hear. “I need a shuttle to the mainland and a waiver against the fishing ban. I’ve got to get my boat and the drum ready for sea ” Rhaxiid and Aftasia sputtered in confusion, but Mama Sakalbi had a shadow fall over her, and her ears pulled back.
“Do you mean to say you want to go out on the water? Risk the ecological balance for… dinner?”
Andy looked Sakalbi dead in the eye and gave her a firm nod. “Why don’t you come out and see how we did this before you got here. Think of it as a chance to see the way we’ve fished for the last hundred or so years, and then I can explain the way we used to fish before that.”
The offer snapped Rhaxiid out of his confusion and he brightened. “A learning experience? Wonderful, we’ll make a day of it!” His hands shot out to grab both his wives’ and Kalai could feel the vibrations in the floor from where he was excitedly tapping his feet.
“If you don’t mind hard, smelly work. Uncle Willy always called it ‘the worst desk in the prettiest office.' It’ll be a bit cramped, but I’ve got room on the boat for a few guests and observers; four I think would be ok. She’s a working boat, not a pleasure cruiser,” Andy explained. That sent the whole lot of them excitedly talking among themselves.
Kalai was about to lean in to talk to Mama Aftasia, but Andy caught her attention first. “I don’t suppose you’d want to go back out on the water, given you just got back from pleasure-boating-”
Kalai’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest. “I wouldn’t miss it for my own colony planet!”
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Kalai stood on the pier, bundled in her thermal sailor’s coat. It was still dark and the wind blew from the north in a cold little morning breeze. Kalai took a deep breath and reveled in the smell of the fresh sea air. The soft chattering of Mama Sakalbi’s teeth broke the silence. “It’s a bit chillier than it said it was going to be.”
“The water always does that. It’s never as warm as the lubbers say it’ll be,” Papa spoke as he handed her back her thermos of hot chocolate.
Papa stood next to Kalai and nudged her with his elbow. Even in the dark, Kalai could see him smile up at her and jerk his head at the shivering Erbian. He was also wearing a thermal sailor’s coat, and his hands were stuffed in his pockets to keep them warm, just like Kalai’s. “Landswoman,” he whispered to her and the two of them shared a knowing smile. It was strange, but welcome when she'd told Papa about her upcoming day fishing with Andy, and he’d politely requested to join them. Papa Rhaxiid had graciously given his spot up to accommodate her birth father. Narny was all for it until Andy had explained what they were going to do, but then surrendered his challenge to the fourth guest space, not wanting to go anywhere NEAR anything that could see him come face to face with a Lion’s Mane Jelly. Sitry had done a happy little dance when she found out, but only yesterday had come down with Thistle Fever, and was bundled off to bed by her parents. It left Kalai, Mama Sakalbi, and Papa to accompany Andy on his fishing trip.
The water brushed against the shore behind them quietly. In the gloom, Kalai could just barely make out the outline of the nearest island mountain, but only because the stars had disappeared behind it. It was almost four in the morning, but Kalai had managed a catnap on the shuttle to the empty little lot that had been the boat launch. Aside from the water, the world was silent. Even the breeze made almost no noise and a sense of peace surrounded them. Everything was so calm, Kalai felt like she didn’t have a care in the world.
In the distance, a low rumbling sound of a motor rose from being almost imperceptible to a rolling drum of thunder. From around the point, two green floating lights sped through the darkness, and a spotlight turned on. The beam of light moved jerkily until it came to rest on the pier where they were standing and Kalai started waving her arms. Sakalbi’s omnipad rang, and Andy’s voice shouted over the speaker and the background noise for them to shine a light on the edge of the pier to help him park the boat.
Kalai and Papa moved closer and turned their omnipad flashlights on and waved them as the boat swung gracefully around and glided in alongside them. Kalai caught the rope that flew over the railing of the boat and she heard more than saw Andy moving around on the deck as she tied off on one of the mooring cleats. Several lights clicked on and the deck was bathed in light enough for Kalai to get a clear view of the boat they’d be spending the day on.
Andy hadn’t lied. Kalai saw that this little vessel was a working boat with no frills at all. When he’d told her they’d be going fishing, she’d envisioned something like the charter boat papa had taken her on out of Nantucket. Sporty, fast with a nod to comfort and function. This was not that at all. A giant wheel as wide as Kalai’s outstretched arms that looked like a sideways spool of thread was secured to the deck amidships and dominated the deckspace. Wrapped around it was a fluorescent green tangle with a line of oblong white and yellow corks and rope. There was a covered hatchway sitting behind the drum in front of the raised step to the enclosed cabin. Two large windows let the light out to two children’s bunks, a little table with a booth seat and a raised captain’s chair in front of the helm and engine controls. Andy shut down the engine and that peaceful stillness returned.
“Oway there!” Kalai called, “ship oway! Request permission to come aboard.” Kalai gave the traditional greeting of a Shil’vati sailor.
“Permission granted! Anyone need a stepstool?” Andy finally stepped into the light and Kalai got a look at him. He was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and the same bright orange coveralls she’d seen the fishmongers wearing on their date.
“I wouldn’t mind a hand, Mr. Shelokset.” Papa He’osforos braced a foot on the railing of the boat and Andy pulled him up.
“Just call me Andy, Doc, and welcome aboard. Jackie should be along any minute now with the day’s groceries, and the cabin’s out of the cold. You can get yourself set wherever you find comfortable.” Papa nodded and disappeared around the other side of the wheel moving towards the bow.
Kalai helped Mama Sakalbi into the boat next, and she quickly ducked into the cabin that took up the entire stern section save for a little ledge that ran along the outside. Andy gripped Kalai’s hand and she smiled as he pulled her deftly aboard. The boat rocked a little on its mooring, and Kalai almost fell into Andy, who wordlessly put his arms around her waist to catch her as she lost her balance. She flailed for a moment before she steadied herself against him.
“Gotcha,” Andy smiled, and Kalai could see him flush almost as much as she could feel herself doing as their noses almost touched. Those big dark brown eyes surrounded by white orbs drew her in and she felt she could lose herself in them. Kalai started as Andy danced her around him and moved her towards the cabin door.
“It might be a little cramped for you in there, but the Mary Jean wasn’t built for pleasure boating, she’s a working girl. Sit tight, I gotta check a few things in the back.” Andy patted the railing affectionately before he hopped up and scooted along the outside of the cabin towards the stern. Kalai couldn’t help the little longing groan that came out as he left her there on the little tiny quarterdeck. Her heart was hammering in her chest as half formed fantasies danced at the edges of her mind.
“I saw that, little minnow.” Papa’s voice was soft, but his tone and the sudden broken silence nearly gave her a heart attack.
Kalai could only stammer as her father stared at her with a cocked eyebrow. A thump from the cabin window behind saw an amused Mama Sakalbi daintily sipping at her thermos with her ears twitched forward in interest, staring out at her. “Papa I… he-”
Papa moved carefully around the covered hatchway to stand next to her, leaning back against the cabin window and heaved a sigh. “I must say I’m surprised. This lovely man’s got good clean lines and is very well cared for. It speaks well of his Skipper.”
It took a full minute for Kalai’s brain to process that he was talking about the boat and not Andy. “And the way Andy brought him in smooth in near complete darkness? It gives me confidence in his abilities.”
Kalai breathed a silent sigh of relief and exasperation. Although she was happy to be spending more time with her father, bringing him on what she’d hoped would be a sailing date wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind for ‘family time’. He wants me to find a nice young man and spend time with him on a boat, but the first chance I get Papa decides to clam-jam me.
From up on shore, the sound and lights of a large human vehicle screeching to a halt heralded the last of their party to arrive. Kalai heard the clomping footsteps coming down the pier and moved to the railing to lend a hand.
“Ahoy Mary Jean! Raggedy Andy, you there?” Kalai stared with wide eyed surprise to see a human female, loaded down with plastic bags and sporting two human weapons on her shoulder. The two of them locked eyes, and while Kalai didn’t understand everything the girl shouted in surprise, she had caught and understood the phrase, “What the fuck?”
“Easy now, they’re my guests, and the one inside is the boss!” Andy appeared on the pier instantly before either Kalai or the woman could react further.
“Ya didn’t tell me we were having pur-” The woman glared at Kalai and her father. She had switched to Vatikre thankfully, but her tone was hostile as she dropped everything but her weapons. “I mean, hwun’eetums, aboard. A gal could get the wrong idea pretty quick in the dark when there’s no warning.”
“Knock it off Jackie. Let’s get the grub aboard and shove off.” Andy picked up some of the bags and took the guns as Kalai offered a helping hand over the railing. “Oh, Kalai, this is Jackie. Jackie? Kalai. That’s her dad over there, Doc He’osforos. He saw and treated Kay Tee a few years back.” Andy jerked his head towards the direction of Kalai’s father as she held out a hand to the human girl. On a quick inspection, she appeared to be about the same age as her and Andy. She had a round face and was about as dark complected as Andy was. She was shorter, only a few inches taller than Papa, but when Jackie grabbed Kalai’s hand to hop up onto the rail, she could feel the strength and the compact muscle hidden by the baggy sweatshirt and pants.
“Wait a minute, did you say Mini-Me over there saw Kay Tee? You’re fuckin’ with me!” Jackie stumbled a bit as she hopped down onto the deck with a loud thunk and advanced on Papa who shrank away at her advance. “You saw li’l Kay Tee? Where the fuck is he? Is he alright? Is he still fighting the good fight?”
“Last I saw, yes, he was ‘fighting the good fight.’” Papa looked over at Andy with a slightly worried expression. Andy smacked the girl in the back of the head, causing her to flinch and she opened the door to the cabin for Andy to go inside.
Jackie rubbed the back of her head and laughed. “Well that’s a little bit of alright, innit? Maybe today’s gonna be a good day after all!”
“Jackie, get suited up and get on the bow. I need a good pair of eyes on the roller horns,” Kalai heard Andy shout from the cabin, followed by a whole lot of thumping and banging from cabinets being opened and closed.
“You got it, ol’ man. We going to your place or mine?” Jackie sidestepped in and opened a tiny little closet and pulled out a set of rain gear that was identical to what Andy was wearing. Kalai collected herself and stood in the doorway next to her father as they both leaned in.
“Mine; Chuck said the Yaw’much are running from the South. We’ll do a set nor’west of Lummi in the Rosario and see if we can get some Fraser Kings,” Andy replied as he turned the engine back on and the vessel roared to life.
“Chuck? Isn’t that one of your cousins? I didn’t know he could keep track of the movements of Salmon, may I ask how he does it?” Mama Sakalbi perked up as she pulled a set of earplugs out of a pocket and inserted them.
Andy prevaricated a bit, looking from Jackie back to Sakalbi then to Kalai and Papa. “I’d rather not answer that-”
“Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law! Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law!”
Jackie began singing a human song, and Andy threw her the dirtiest of looks as she finished getting into the orange coveralls. Mama Sakalbi sputtered as Andy shrugged apologetically.
“Make a hole!” Jackie called, and she and Andy came back out as Kalai and Papa made room for them. Andy hopped back onto the dock to cast off while Papa ducked into the cabin.
“Can I help?” Kalai offered as Andy shoved the vessel off and leapt the gap over the black water below.
“You want to be useful? Come forward! I could use an extra set of eyes!” Jackie called back, and Kalai felt a slap on her shoulder from the boisterous human woman.
------------------
Andy stood at the helm, watching Jackie and Kalai as he leaned to get a better view of them past the Net drum. The bow was lifting up again, and the gentle little swells became like speed bumps, jostling them up and down in a predictable bouncing rhythm.
“Are you sure you couldn’t slow down, Andy? It’s a bit rough, don’t you think?” Sakalbi was hanging on to the table and her thermos with a worried expression on her face.
“I could, but we’ll miss the morning set. We want to bomb out the buoy right when the tide changes. If we’re lucky, then we’ll get around seventy or eighty by slack tide this afternoon and call it a day.”
“How do you know where to fish?” Dr. He’osforos was making a good show of standing and maintaining his balance with his hand on the booth.
“Well, there’s two ways you know. The first is you fish the spots your family’s fished since time began. Every family has about two or three different secret spots that we know there’s fish in, and we’re pretty defensive about their locations. The second is by smell. Right now it’s the tail end of the King season, and you can smell them in the water.” Andy turned and saw the incredulity etched on the faces of the two aliens.
“No, I’m serious! King Salmon slime is really pungent, and you can smell them when they’re close to the surface. We get to the fishing spot and take a deep whiff. If we smell them, we’ll set the nets.” Andy laughed at the disbelief on their faces as the GPS on his omnipad beeped and he turned to sail around the last buoy and head for the fishing ground.
“I’ve never noticed that in any of the Kings we’ve raised-”
Andy suppressed a laugh as they caught a larger swell as they left the lee of Lummi Island. Andy reveled in the feeling of weightlessness as the deck rose up and fell out from underneath their feet, leaving everyone suspended for a moment in midair before falling back down. A massive spray of water rose and washed over the deck, drenching Kalai and Jackie, who were still forward. “Cloned and farmed Kings don’t have that same smell. Wild ones smell and taste different, I’m telling you!” Andy pulled back slightly on the throttle as they climbed the next swell. “Brace!” he called as they climbed and fell once again.
There was a look of fear on Sakalbi’s face as she gripped the table for dear life, but to Andy’s surprise, the Doctor looked completely unfazed, and was handling the rise and fall of the deck like an old salt. “You look like you’ve done this before, Doc.”
“I’ve done a stint or two at sea before,” he spoke, in the same tone Andy would have used when trying not to sound too confident, and Andy smiled.
“Kalai keeps talking about loving the sea and sailing. Did you teach her to sail?”
“Yes, me and her mothers. When they were home, we would take the family yacht out in the Vaascon Straits and sail around the Occidiens. Kalai practically spent all her early childhood on a sailboat.”
“And almost every waking moment on one in Junior Academy. I swear you couldn’t dig her out with a trowel when she wanted to go sailing,” Sakalbi managed to add in a word as the boat slowed, and the dramatic rise and fall of the deck slowed with it.
“What about you, Mr. Shelokset, did your father teach you to sail too?”
“I was too young before he passed. My Great Uncle Willy taught me after I came home, and Grandma took me out to the family fishing sites when she wasn’t busy with the Council. For the first two or three years after they let us come home, fishing was the only way to feed our families, but the Militia and the Cambrians would try and sink our boats or arrest us whenever we tried to go out.”
“And that’s why you’re so good at maneuvering your vessel in the dark with no instruments?” Mrs. Vaida had folded her arms, and her voice twinged with that imperious tone she’d had when they’d first met.
Andy huffed a dry laugh. “I did what I had to for me and my people and to survive, Ma’am. I don’t like breaking the law or dodging lasers and gunfire, but there’s a lot of poor families that need to eat.”
The GPS beeped, and Andy gave Mrs. Vaida a slightly defiant look to counter her furrowed brow. “We’re here,” he said as he threw the engine in neutral and opened the cabin door.
Andy walked out and took a deep breath, but all he could smell was the net and the exhaust from the engine. “HEY JACKIE! WE SMELL MONEY?” Andy yelled out as he took stock of the sky. The first signs of sunrise were chasing all but the morning stars away and a light fog was rolling in from the north.
“FUCK YEAH I CAN SMELL ‘EM, ANDY! LET’S BOMB OUT AND GET BREAKFAST GOING!” Jackie looked slightly manic as she smiled brightly. Kalai, on the other hand, looked wet and miserable as she shivered, arms wrapped around herself. Andy gave his cousin a disgusted look as he pieced together what had happened. Every deckhand learned when to duck behind the raised bow and the roller horns that guided the nets so as not to get a faceful of spray when cutting through a swell. It was also a classic hazing trick for Senior Deckhands to let Junior Deckhands learn this the hard way.
Andy moved forward to stand in front of the two of them. Kalai was trying to squeeze her coat dry, but Andy knew it wouldn’t do much good until the sun came out. Jackie at least had the sense to look a little remorseful. “Kalai, why don’t you go sit in the cabin and get out of that wet coat. It’s cold enough out here even for us-”
“No way, Andy. Junior deckhand Kally here wants to impress you and get her dainty soft hands dirty! She’s been bragging about being a sailorwoman and wants to learn to fish ‘your way!” Jackie gave Kalai’s shoulder a wet slap as the poor alien woman went blue. Out of cold or embarrassment, Andy couldn’t tell.
All Andy could do was shake his head and huff. “Ok then! Secure the buoy and sling on my mark. I’ll get us in position!” Andy couldn’t help but chuckle as he heard Jackie start ordering Kalai about. Andy went back into the cabin and looked in the closet/bathroom to see if there was anything hanging up that he could give Kalai. There was only the one rain slicker and a few of Andy’s old sweaters from when he was a lot smaller. Well, looks like I’ll just be cold today. He quickly stripped out of his sweatshirt and grabbed the slicker before throwing a switch on the main control. Dr. He’osforos and Mrs. Vaida threw him quizzical looks as he went back outside wearing less than when he came in. He was down to a sleeveless shirt and his coveralls, and the morning breeze cut right through him and he braced his jaw to keep it from chattering.
“We’re ready to go- Andy, why are you practically naked from the waist up?” Kalai was staring wide eyed at him as he approached her and Jackie was on the bow. Jackie had everything ready; the buoy line was strung through the horns and ready to toss out. A giant orange and blue beach ball sized float hung at the end of the line to mark the end and make it easier to pick up later.
“Trade me your coat for these. If Jackie’s putting you to work, you’ll need these to keep warm.”
“I’m alright, I can-”
“I’m the Skipper of this boat, and I’m ordering you to take off that wet coat and put these on; and Jackie?” Andy gave his cousin a long and piercing look. “Give her the elbow gloves, not the halfsies.”
The scoff and the muttered Salishian profanities meant he’d read the next prank she’d had in mind right. She was planning on giving her the cloth gloves with only the palms and fingers coated in rubber. While perfectly fine for fishing, Andy knew they tended to get soaked through very quickly and did nothing to keep jellyfish stingers and fish slime off your hands. Kalai sputtered for a moment before she complied gratefully and she accepted the dry clothes and rain slicker.
Andy saw Jackie give him a strange look before looking back at Kalai, but he paid it no mind. He walked back to the controls on the drum and switched off the hydraulics, placing the mechanism in neutral. “SLING IT!” Andy called as he took the small jerry rigged steering wheel and threw the boat in reverse. Kalai jumped as the line started unspooling the net into the water at a rapid pace.
Andy set an ‘S’ bend in the quarter mile long net, zigzagging backwards until they came to the end of the line. Andy stopped the boat as Jackie tied off the other large buoy and tossed it over the side, unstringing the cork-line from the roller horns in the process. He pulled hard over and put a bit of distance from the net before shutting the engine down. The line of white and yellow corks marking the net bobbed lazily with the swells as silence settled over the water again. The waves rocked the boat gently as Andy found his sea legs again.
“Alright, I’ll get breakfast going. Jackie, Kalai? Post the watch for seals,” Andy called as he walked back into the cabin to fire up the tiny little gas stove.
Sakalbi, having found the confidence to stand at last, poked her head out of the cabin and stood on by the hatch to the fish hold. “Seals? Why would you need to watch for seals?”
Andy grit his teeth and looked over from where he was cracking open and scrambling eggs. “They’re the spawn of Satan and we hate their guts!” Andy bit out. Jackie came back and pulled the two shotguns and a pair of binoculars from the closet. Andy reached over to a side cabinet and pulled out a box of shells for them. Both his boss and the Doctor’s eyes got wide.
“Seals are the enemy of our blood. Were it not for the invasion, our unending war against these vermin would continue to this day!” Jackie growled as she loaded one for herself and rested the other on Andy’s seat at the helm.
The look of growing horror on Sakalbi’s face towards their facetious declarations caused Andy to chuckle a bit, before launching into an explanation. “We’re not fans of the species because they’ll wait until a fish gets caught in the net and then they’ll steal it, costing us a fish AND ripping a big hole in our nets that we then have to take time to repair. We use the shotguns and buckshot to give them a nice welt and convince them not to hang around, because they’ll wait up on the surface and watch the buoys, just like us. A single seal can and will take between five and ten fish. The worst is when they start getting full, they’ll just bite out the bellies of a salmon in the net. We can’t really do anything with that fish once it’s ‘seal-bit’. So yes, as fishermen, we hate them.”
“Learned opportunism in apex predators as a response to human activity… I think I’ll go see this behavior for myself!” Sakalbi practically rushed out the door towards the bow where Jackie was sitting on the roller horns explaining to Kalai how to spot the bastards, leaving Andy alone in the cabin with the Doctor while he cooked breakfast for them all.
Dr. He’osforos sat down heavily in the booth and pulled out his omnipad. “I’ve had a word with my friend in the Interior. She’s pulled the warrant for your brother, and I’ve withdrawn the charges I filed.”
Andy froze and turned around slowly. The only sound was the sizzle and pop of the eggs and chorizo that he’d added to them in the skillet. “You mean… it’s done? He can come home?” A wave of light headed euphoria swept over Andy and he swayed with the gentle rocking of the boat. “I will pay you back, Doc-”
The doctor held up his hand and stopped Andy. “We’ll call it even, but there’s something… I was able to get my hands on this,” Andy watched as the doctor swiped something towards his omnipad and it dinged. “What is it if I may-”
“Are you really asking an Indian to tell you a story? Because it’s going to be a long one if you are.” “I’m Sevastutavan, young man; we invented long stories.”
Andy froze and stared at the screen of his omnipad. The Vatikre was heavily accented, and Andy had a bit of trouble with the unfamiliar accent, but centered in the frame in a hospital room, sitting in a wheelchair, was a Salishian boy. Andy blinked in surprise as he stared at the screen. “Is that-”
“I am Ikw’is’hi’ehlah, and this bearer is… of the Orca Clan Sheloksets. I drove our Haida enemies onto the rocks and took many heads when they attacked our winter village on Orcas Island. I signed the Treaty with the Great White Father and I fought against the slavers of the south-”
Andy wanted to grab the omnipad but the smell of overcooking eggs brought his attention back to breakfast and Andy stirred and scrapped the food quickly, trying to save it.
“I asked her for any materials she could give me on your brother. Pictures, recordings, anything. This is what she gave me. It's the last known recording of your brother during an interrogation conducted by a Navy Commissar prior to his escape. It seems he made friends with a Pod of Deaths Head Commandos. Quite a bit of the recording has been redacted, but… there are portions of it where he talks about his family and his history. I thought you might like to have it.”
Andy hurriedly pulled out paper plates and a slice of bread for everyone and scooped a heaping portion of the chorizo eggs onto them. He handed the doctor his before leaning out the cabin door. “Slop’s on, come and get it!”
Andy sat down after moving the shotgun out of the way and started the video over again as the three women came back to grab their plates and lost himself watching his brother start telling his story.
“What’s that?” Andy heard Kalai ask over his shoulder, and he paused the video.
“That’s my brother! That’s Kay Tee!”
“Holy shit, what?” Jackie nearly shoved Kalai into Andy as she jammed her bread slice down her gullet and crowded in to see the screen.
Andy started the video over a second time and they watched in silence. “God, that brings back memories. Back when mom was still alive and before we broke up the warband. I can’t believe that slippery little punk ghosted a pod of Commandos for two fucking years! Holy shit, that’s badass!”
Before Andy could say anything, Sakalbi started coughing and brought the binoculars up. “Uh, Andy? Jackie? What do we do about sharks?”
Jackie looked at Andy in confusion. “Sharks? There’s nothing but Dogs around here.”
“Well those are shark fins and they’re charging the net!” Sakalbi pointed and Andy looked up to see dorsal fins charging the center of the net.
Andy looked at Jackie and spoke the same words in tandem, “Oh shit!”
First:
https://www.reddit.com/Sexyspacebabes/comments/yz0u3h/the_cryptid_chronicle_chapter_1/
Previous:
https://www.reddit.com/Sexyspacebabes/comments/13nh0oe/cryptid_chronicle_chapter_29/
Next:
To be posted 6/4/23
submitted by Kazevenikov to Sexyspacebabes [link] [comments]
A special thanks to my editors LordHenry7898, RandomTinkerer, Swimming_Good_8507, CatsInTrenchcoats, and KLiCKonthat.
And a big thanks to the authors and their stories that inspired me to tell my own in this universe. RandomTinkerer (City Slickers and Hayseeds), Punnynfunny (Denied Operations), CompassWithHat (Top Lasgun), CarCU131 (The Cook), and Rhion-618 (Just One Drop)
Hy’shq’e Ay Si’am (Thank you noble friends)
Chapter 30: A Promise Kept
Kalai stepped off the shuttle to the Vaida’s headquarters and into a running tackle-hug from Sitry. “Oh Kalai, I could kill you right now! You got to see the Great Barrier Reef in person, you bitch!” Sitry’s cheerful voice was muffled from where she was still buried in her chest. Kalai staggered backwards a pace or two, happy to be back from her whirlwind adventure around Earth with her father.
Naranjo and Papa Rhaxiid were there on the platform to welcome her back too, but their welcomes were more sedate.
“Not to mention you got out of work for half our damn trip. Ugh, it’s so not fair!” Naranjo huffed as Kalai gave him a sisterly hug.
Papa Rhaxiid reached up and chucked her chin before turning to lead the way back inside from the forested platform. “Welcome back, sweet-sprout, we’ve missed you. Come on, we’ll get you settled again and off to work. There’s quite a bit you need to catch up on if you want your credits.”
The chuckles from the twins behind her were full of sibling malice, but she knew how to shut the pair of them up. “Papa Rhaxiid? I’ve got the paper on Biodiversity in the Reef you asked for, along with the dissection report and stomach content analysis of the tuna we caught. I want to put the finishing touches on it and do a final proofread first before I send them to you.” The man turned and gave her a warm smile as they entered the building.
“Good, why don’t you go take your things back up and say hello to Andy? I’ll give you an hour and a half to get freshened up, then I want you to report to Aquarium 12 with Dr. Sor’ansa. You can put your snorkeling practice to work there.” Papa Rhaxiid walked the three of them to the residential elevator. “I’m heading back to my office. Andy’s been requested by Maetro Pae’ella to work the kitchens for something called ‘Bison burgers'. Apparently it’s a type of indigenous bovine that the eastern Bands raise. That and something from Europe called ‘French Fries’.”
Kalai couldn’t help but get excited as she and her siblings piled into the elevator back to their little shared apartment. Sure the food she’d had all over the place was good, but so far nothing had been able to compare to Andy and his Salishian cooking.
“Nerd, I can’t believe you cheated and did work on your vacation." Naranjo broke the silence of the elevator after a little bit and stuck his tongue out at her.
“Spit to windward, you vain little weed. Don’t hate me because I’m awesome.” Kalai’s riposte caused Naranjo to fold his arms and huff. Sitry simply ambushed her with an ear flick.
The elevator door opened to their floor before Kalai couldn’t bear the silence from Sitry any longer. “So, did you bag him yet, you lucky bitch?”
“No she hasn’t!” Naranjo’s singsong mockery of his sister interrupted Sitry’s response. “Papa hasn’t let Sitry even NEAR Andy without one of them around!”
“Rub it in, you snitch, besides, he did kiss me first,” Sitry preened happily as she playfully shoved Kalai’s shoulder.
Kalai pretended to stumble and almost caught Sitry’s foot, but she was just a hair too slow. “Yeah, and then you gave him a black eye, you clod.”
“Will you let it go? It was an accident!”
“It’s not even the only one he got either." Naranjo’s interjection stopped her right in front of their door.
“Wait, what? Who hurt him this time?” Kalai let her bag thunk to the floor as she turned to look accusingly between Sitry and Narny.
Sitry folded her arms and her ears twitched back as she shot a dark look at their door. “He ‘fell down’ yesterday while out at one of the Hatcheries we gave to the Hwatcoms. Mrs. Toloui nearly had a fit! She said she could smell another human on him and that he was covered in blood!”
Narny nodded primly as Kalai tried to process what they were telling her. “WHAT? Did she call out the militia? Track down whoever hurt him?”
“No, and he refused treatment and insisted that no one did it to him! When papa tried to talk to him, Andy said some stupid human macho shit about pain healing and birds liking scars. I don’t know, sometimes humans… they’re frickin’ insane!”
The door shot open and there stood Andy. His left eye was an angry puffy yellow and blue mess, and there were three points on his lips where a dark cinnabar line marked a crack. Kalai and her siblings stood in wide eyed shock at his sudden appearance and the only sound was the music emanating from the common room behind him.
Andy looked up and down at the three without saying a word. He cocked an eyebrow and snagged Kalai’s bag before any of them could react and cleared the doorway for them.
Kalai sputtered at the impropriety but Naranjo and Sitry just shrugged and walked in after Andy. “Femboys, am I right?” Narny whispered to Kalai as he passed. Kalai followed behind and was greeted by the white fluff-ball, Puck, who hopped up and down, whining for attention. She bent down and started scratching his ears and back. While Puck rubbed up against her hands, Andy settled back down at the table where his omnipad was hooked up to a keypad. Her heart started to sink a bit and Kalai shot Sitry a jealous look before the music came to a sudden halt and Andy interrupted the beginnings of her pity party.
“Ok, Kem’ira, I got the pics now and I’m telling you to declare yourself to the farmers first! I guarantee if you tell them you’re with the new DNR and you’re there to kill all the Scotch Broom in their pasture lands, they’ll stop trying to shoot you for trespassing!”
Kalai’s mood jumped up a bit. It’s not that he doesn’t care to see me, he’s in a meeting!
“No, no I’m not coming out to talk this over with them, I’ve got my own work to do! Either you start talking to folks like I showed you how, or ask the militia to give you one of their armored catsuits to wear under your uniform… Uh-huh, good luck." Andy hung up on the call and leaned back as Puck scampered over and hopped up in his lap.
Andy rubbed his temples before shaking his head. He seemed to relax a bit and Puck slid off to follow Sitry to the kitchen. Andy looked over and gave Kalai a happy smile that made her flush. “Welcome back! So how was the land down under? That tuna was fan-frickin’-tastic, if you aren’t sick of seafood I’ll do something fancy with it tomorrow to celebrate your coming back. Can’t tonight though, I got volun-told to be head chef tonight and I… Oh damnit! I’m late! Come to dinner, burgers and fries Indian style tonight. Gotta run!” With that, Andy went dashing out the door with Puck barking and scrambling along after him.
Kalai felt her heart sink back down again, as he left. “Andy I-” She started but he was gone.
“Yeah, it’s been like that for the whole week. The only time we get to hang out is dinner.” Sitry commiserated as she took Kalai’s bag into their room. “On the other hand, we might get to catch up during the family meal tonight.”
Kalai and Narny were already silently plotting with each other for their revenge against their sister who had won and refused to share the last few matchsticks when Andy finally joined their table. He was sweaty and he smelled of woodsmoke and french fries. Kalai jumped up and offered him a seat next to her with a nervous smile. He took it gratefully and seemed to sag a bit as he gulped down a glass of water.
“Andy, I think you may be finding your calling as a culinary ambassador,” Mama Aftasia beamed. “A toast to the chef!”
Andy gave a shy smile and looked down as Kalai and the rest of the family gave a hearty ‘Here, here!”
“It’s a simple enough recipe; it’s just using bison instead of cow, that’s all, and I don’t know anyone who’d turn down hand cut fresh fries. It’s kind of hard to screw up.”
“Young man, you are speaking to a woman who found a way to take cold water and dried wumpa flakes and wind up with a Class-4 fire. Cooking has always seemed like ‘blight mysticism’ to me, and these foods? These flavors? Nothing short of a Greenwood miracle in my opinion." Mama Aftasia continued her praise of Andy, which only caused him to shrink even lower in his seat.
“To be honest, I like your salmon better,” Kalai said, and the whole table went silent. Kalai held her ground though, and was rewarded with a tired but genuine laugh from Andy that brought him back out of his shell.
“You know, I do too. My Clan were fisherpeople, not buffalo chasers.” Andy gave Kalai a cheeky grin, which she returned happily, her heart glowing. Mama Aftasia and Mama Sakalbi both blinked in bemusement at Andy’s statement while Sitry just giggled.
“Speaking of which, Andy, I received a call from Elder Alex Hwatcom.” Papa Rhaxiid’s change of subject instantly perked Andy up, and he stared silently, waiting. “He extended an invitation to our family to attend his family gathering this Friday-”
“Alex said that? He used those words?” Andy shook his head in shock as he interrupted Papa Rhaxiid. The table went quiet and everyone held their breath as they looked between the two men.
Papa Rhaxiid adopted as good an impression of the human Elder as he could. “I’d like to extend an invitation for you and your family to be guests at our family gathering this saturday up at the White… something… lodge-”
“The White Ram Lodge?” Andy sat forward, interjecting again as the color drained from his face.
“Yes, that’s the one! I asked if we could bring anything since the last time they hosted us they put on that wonderful spread. He said if we could bring a few salmon for the family, that would be wonderful.”
Andy leaned back and took another sip of ice water before holding the glass to his blackened eye. “Alex Hwatcom… just invited you… to a gathering… and he told you to ‘bring a few salmon’? Do you realize what a huge honor this is?”
Rhaxiid looked from his wives to his children with mild concern. “Um, I thought it was only dinner, but your reaction tells me there’s more significance to this than I originally thought. I was thinking about our stocks of adult Sockeye, but then I remembered in his story how important King Salmon are. Of course, I’d like to defer to you for the choice since you know these animals and the cultural expectations with this invitation better than we do.”
Andy was silent for a moment before he put the glass down. “I’d recommend a ‘hard no’ to all your clone stock!” Now it was the Vaidas’ turn to be shocked, as each of Kalai’s Erbian family’s jaws dropped in synch. Before anyone could say anything, Andy continued, “You need to bring wild-caught. Farm-raised salmon wouldn’t… well we can tell, and you can taste the difference between them. We need to go fishing!” Kalai leaned towards Andy slightly as he lowered his head and started mumbling to himself. She was just able to make out what he was saying to himself as Mama Sakalbi and Mama Aftasia began whispering to each other. “...need to get the Gillnetter out of storage, check what’s running and select the mesh. I’m gonna need a deckhand too.”
Kalai reached a hand out but stopped short of touching him. “Andy?”
He popped up and spoke for the whole table to hear. “I need a shuttle to the mainland and a waiver against the fishing ban. I’ve got to get my boat and the drum ready for sea ” Rhaxiid and Aftasia sputtered in confusion, but Mama Sakalbi had a shadow fall over her, and her ears pulled back.
“Do you mean to say you want to go out on the water? Risk the ecological balance for… dinner?”
Andy looked Sakalbi dead in the eye and gave her a firm nod. “Why don’t you come out and see how we did this before you got here. Think of it as a chance to see the way we’ve fished for the last hundred or so years, and then I can explain the way we used to fish before that.”
The offer snapped Rhaxiid out of his confusion and he brightened. “A learning experience? Wonderful, we’ll make a day of it!” His hands shot out to grab both his wives’ and Kalai could feel the vibrations in the floor from where he was excitedly tapping his feet.
“If you don’t mind hard, smelly work. Uncle Willy always called it ‘the worst desk in the prettiest office.' It’ll be a bit cramped, but I’ve got room on the boat for a few guests and observers; four I think would be ok. She’s a working boat, not a pleasure cruiser,” Andy explained. That sent the whole lot of them excitedly talking among themselves.
Kalai was about to lean in to talk to Mama Aftasia, but Andy caught her attention first. “I don’t suppose you’d want to go back out on the water, given you just got back from pleasure-boating-”
Kalai’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest. “I wouldn’t miss it for my own colony planet!”
--------------------
Kalai stood on the pier, bundled in her thermal sailor’s coat. It was still dark and the wind blew from the north in a cold little morning breeze. Kalai took a deep breath and reveled in the smell of the fresh sea air. The soft chattering of Mama Sakalbi’s teeth broke the silence. “It’s a bit chillier than it said it was going to be.”
“The water always does that. It’s never as warm as the lubbers say it’ll be,” Papa spoke as he handed her back her thermos of hot chocolate.
Papa stood next to Kalai and nudged her with his elbow. Even in the dark, Kalai could see him smile up at her and jerk his head at the shivering Erbian. He was also wearing a thermal sailor’s coat, and his hands were stuffed in his pockets to keep them warm, just like Kalai’s. “Landswoman,” he whispered to her and the two of them shared a knowing smile. It was strange, but welcome when she'd told Papa about her upcoming day fishing with Andy, and he’d politely requested to join them. Papa Rhaxiid had graciously given his spot up to accommodate her birth father. Narny was all for it until Andy had explained what they were going to do, but then surrendered his challenge to the fourth guest space, not wanting to go anywhere NEAR anything that could see him come face to face with a Lion’s Mane Jelly. Sitry had done a happy little dance when she found out, but only yesterday had come down with Thistle Fever, and was bundled off to bed by her parents. It left Kalai, Mama Sakalbi, and Papa to accompany Andy on his fishing trip.
The water brushed against the shore behind them quietly. In the gloom, Kalai could just barely make out the outline of the nearest island mountain, but only because the stars had disappeared behind it. It was almost four in the morning, but Kalai had managed a catnap on the shuttle to the empty little lot that had been the boat launch. Aside from the water, the world was silent. Even the breeze made almost no noise and a sense of peace surrounded them. Everything was so calm, Kalai felt like she didn’t have a care in the world.
In the distance, a low rumbling sound of a motor rose from being almost imperceptible to a rolling drum of thunder. From around the point, two green floating lights sped through the darkness, and a spotlight turned on. The beam of light moved jerkily until it came to rest on the pier where they were standing and Kalai started waving her arms. Sakalbi’s omnipad rang, and Andy’s voice shouted over the speaker and the background noise for them to shine a light on the edge of the pier to help him park the boat.
Kalai and Papa moved closer and turned their omnipad flashlights on and waved them as the boat swung gracefully around and glided in alongside them. Kalai caught the rope that flew over the railing of the boat and she heard more than saw Andy moving around on the deck as she tied off on one of the mooring cleats. Several lights clicked on and the deck was bathed in light enough for Kalai to get a clear view of the boat they’d be spending the day on.
Andy hadn’t lied. Kalai saw that this little vessel was a working boat with no frills at all. When he’d told her they’d be going fishing, she’d envisioned something like the charter boat papa had taken her on out of Nantucket. Sporty, fast with a nod to comfort and function. This was not that at all. A giant wheel as wide as Kalai’s outstretched arms that looked like a sideways spool of thread was secured to the deck amidships and dominated the deckspace. Wrapped around it was a fluorescent green tangle with a line of oblong white and yellow corks and rope. There was a covered hatchway sitting behind the drum in front of the raised step to the enclosed cabin. Two large windows let the light out to two children’s bunks, a little table with a booth seat and a raised captain’s chair in front of the helm and engine controls. Andy shut down the engine and that peaceful stillness returned.
“Oway there!” Kalai called, “ship oway! Request permission to come aboard.” Kalai gave the traditional greeting of a Shil’vati sailor.
“Permission granted! Anyone need a stepstool?” Andy finally stepped into the light and Kalai got a look at him. He was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and the same bright orange coveralls she’d seen the fishmongers wearing on their date.
“I wouldn’t mind a hand, Mr. Shelokset.” Papa He’osforos braced a foot on the railing of the boat and Andy pulled him up.
“Just call me Andy, Doc, and welcome aboard. Jackie should be along any minute now with the day’s groceries, and the cabin’s out of the cold. You can get yourself set wherever you find comfortable.” Papa nodded and disappeared around the other side of the wheel moving towards the bow.
Kalai helped Mama Sakalbi into the boat next, and she quickly ducked into the cabin that took up the entire stern section save for a little ledge that ran along the outside. Andy gripped Kalai’s hand and she smiled as he pulled her deftly aboard. The boat rocked a little on its mooring, and Kalai almost fell into Andy, who wordlessly put his arms around her waist to catch her as she lost her balance. She flailed for a moment before she steadied herself against him.
“Gotcha,” Andy smiled, and Kalai could see him flush almost as much as she could feel herself doing as their noses almost touched. Those big dark brown eyes surrounded by white orbs drew her in and she felt she could lose herself in them. Kalai started as Andy danced her around him and moved her towards the cabin door.
“It might be a little cramped for you in there, but the Mary Jean wasn’t built for pleasure boating, she’s a working girl. Sit tight, I gotta check a few things in the back.” Andy patted the railing affectionately before he hopped up and scooted along the outside of the cabin towards the stern. Kalai couldn’t help the little longing groan that came out as he left her there on the little tiny quarterdeck. Her heart was hammering in her chest as half formed fantasies danced at the edges of her mind.
“I saw that, little minnow.” Papa’s voice was soft, but his tone and the sudden broken silence nearly gave her a heart attack.
Kalai could only stammer as her father stared at her with a cocked eyebrow. A thump from the cabin window behind saw an amused Mama Sakalbi daintily sipping at her thermos with her ears twitched forward in interest, staring out at her. “Papa I… he-”
Papa moved carefully around the covered hatchway to stand next to her, leaning back against the cabin window and heaved a sigh. “I must say I’m surprised. This lovely man’s got good clean lines and is very well cared for. It speaks well of his Skipper.”
It took a full minute for Kalai’s brain to process that he was talking about the boat and not Andy. “And the way Andy brought him in smooth in near complete darkness? It gives me confidence in his abilities.”
Kalai breathed a silent sigh of relief and exasperation. Although she was happy to be spending more time with her father, bringing him on what she’d hoped would be a sailing date wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind for ‘family time’. He wants me to find a nice young man and spend time with him on a boat, but the first chance I get Papa decides to clam-jam me.
From up on shore, the sound and lights of a large human vehicle screeching to a halt heralded the last of their party to arrive. Kalai heard the clomping footsteps coming down the pier and moved to the railing to lend a hand.
“Ahoy Mary Jean! Raggedy Andy, you there?” Kalai stared with wide eyed surprise to see a human female, loaded down with plastic bags and sporting two human weapons on her shoulder. The two of them locked eyes, and while Kalai didn’t understand everything the girl shouted in surprise, she had caught and understood the phrase, “What the fuck?”
“Easy now, they’re my guests, and the one inside is the boss!” Andy appeared on the pier instantly before either Kalai or the woman could react further.
“Ya didn’t tell me we were having pur-” The woman glared at Kalai and her father. She had switched to Vatikre thankfully, but her tone was hostile as she dropped everything but her weapons. “I mean, hwun’eetums, aboard. A gal could get the wrong idea pretty quick in the dark when there’s no warning.”
“Knock it off Jackie. Let’s get the grub aboard and shove off.” Andy picked up some of the bags and took the guns as Kalai offered a helping hand over the railing. “Oh, Kalai, this is Jackie. Jackie? Kalai. That’s her dad over there, Doc He’osforos. He saw and treated Kay Tee a few years back.” Andy jerked his head towards the direction of Kalai’s father as she held out a hand to the human girl. On a quick inspection, she appeared to be about the same age as her and Andy. She had a round face and was about as dark complected as Andy was. She was shorter, only a few inches taller than Papa, but when Jackie grabbed Kalai’s hand to hop up onto the rail, she could feel the strength and the compact muscle hidden by the baggy sweatshirt and pants.
“Wait a minute, did you say Mini-Me over there saw Kay Tee? You’re fuckin’ with me!” Jackie stumbled a bit as she hopped down onto the deck with a loud thunk and advanced on Papa who shrank away at her advance. “You saw li’l Kay Tee? Where the fuck is he? Is he alright? Is he still fighting the good fight?”
“Last I saw, yes, he was ‘fighting the good fight.’” Papa looked over at Andy with a slightly worried expression. Andy smacked the girl in the back of the head, causing her to flinch and she opened the door to the cabin for Andy to go inside.
Jackie rubbed the back of her head and laughed. “Well that’s a little bit of alright, innit? Maybe today’s gonna be a good day after all!”
“Jackie, get suited up and get on the bow. I need a good pair of eyes on the roller horns,” Kalai heard Andy shout from the cabin, followed by a whole lot of thumping and banging from cabinets being opened and closed.
“You got it, ol’ man. We going to your place or mine?” Jackie sidestepped in and opened a tiny little closet and pulled out a set of rain gear that was identical to what Andy was wearing. Kalai collected herself and stood in the doorway next to her father as they both leaned in.
“Mine; Chuck said the Yaw’much are running from the South. We’ll do a set nor’west of Lummi in the Rosario and see if we can get some Fraser Kings,” Andy replied as he turned the engine back on and the vessel roared to life.
“Chuck? Isn’t that one of your cousins? I didn’t know he could keep track of the movements of Salmon, may I ask how he does it?” Mama Sakalbi perked up as she pulled a set of earplugs out of a pocket and inserted them.
Andy prevaricated a bit, looking from Jackie back to Sakalbi then to Kalai and Papa. “I’d rather not answer that-”
“Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law! Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law!”
Jackie began singing a human song, and Andy threw her the dirtiest of looks as she finished getting into the orange coveralls. Mama Sakalbi sputtered as Andy shrugged apologetically.
“Make a hole!” Jackie called, and she and Andy came back out as Kalai and Papa made room for them. Andy hopped back onto the dock to cast off while Papa ducked into the cabin.
“Can I help?” Kalai offered as Andy shoved the vessel off and leapt the gap over the black water below.
“You want to be useful? Come forward! I could use an extra set of eyes!” Jackie called back, and Kalai felt a slap on her shoulder from the boisterous human woman.
------------------
Andy stood at the helm, watching Jackie and Kalai as he leaned to get a better view of them past the Net drum. The bow was lifting up again, and the gentle little swells became like speed bumps, jostling them up and down in a predictable bouncing rhythm.
“Are you sure you couldn’t slow down, Andy? It’s a bit rough, don’t you think?” Sakalbi was hanging on to the table and her thermos with a worried expression on her face.
“I could, but we’ll miss the morning set. We want to bomb out the buoy right when the tide changes. If we’re lucky, then we’ll get around seventy or eighty by slack tide this afternoon and call it a day.”
“How do you know where to fish?” Dr. He’osforos was making a good show of standing and maintaining his balance with his hand on the booth.
“Well, there’s two ways you know. The first is you fish the spots your family’s fished since time began. Every family has about two or three different secret spots that we know there’s fish in, and we’re pretty defensive about their locations. The second is by smell. Right now it’s the tail end of the King season, and you can smell them in the water.” Andy turned and saw the incredulity etched on the faces of the two aliens.
“No, I’m serious! King Salmon slime is really pungent, and you can smell them when they’re close to the surface. We get to the fishing spot and take a deep whiff. If we smell them, we’ll set the nets.” Andy laughed at the disbelief on their faces as the GPS on his omnipad beeped and he turned to sail around the last buoy and head for the fishing ground.
“I’ve never noticed that in any of the Kings we’ve raised-”
Andy suppressed a laugh as they caught a larger swell as they left the lee of Lummi Island. Andy reveled in the feeling of weightlessness as the deck rose up and fell out from underneath their feet, leaving everyone suspended for a moment in midair before falling back down. A massive spray of water rose and washed over the deck, drenching Kalai and Jackie, who were still forward. “Cloned and farmed Kings don’t have that same smell. Wild ones smell and taste different, I’m telling you!” Andy pulled back slightly on the throttle as they climbed the next swell. “Brace!” he called as they climbed and fell once again.
There was a look of fear on Sakalbi’s face as she gripped the table for dear life, but to Andy’s surprise, the Doctor looked completely unfazed, and was handling the rise and fall of the deck like an old salt. “You look like you’ve done this before, Doc.”
“I’ve done a stint or two at sea before,” he spoke, in the same tone Andy would have used when trying not to sound too confident, and Andy smiled.
“Kalai keeps talking about loving the sea and sailing. Did you teach her to sail?”
“Yes, me and her mothers. When they were home, we would take the family yacht out in the Vaascon Straits and sail around the Occidiens. Kalai practically spent all her early childhood on a sailboat.”
“And almost every waking moment on one in Junior Academy. I swear you couldn’t dig her out with a trowel when she wanted to go sailing,” Sakalbi managed to add in a word as the boat slowed, and the dramatic rise and fall of the deck slowed with it.
“What about you, Mr. Shelokset, did your father teach you to sail too?”
“I was too young before he passed. My Great Uncle Willy taught me after I came home, and Grandma took me out to the family fishing sites when she wasn’t busy with the Council. For the first two or three years after they let us come home, fishing was the only way to feed our families, but the Militia and the Cambrians would try and sink our boats or arrest us whenever we tried to go out.”
“And that’s why you’re so good at maneuvering your vessel in the dark with no instruments?” Mrs. Vaida had folded her arms, and her voice twinged with that imperious tone she’d had when they’d first met.
Andy huffed a dry laugh. “I did what I had to for me and my people and to survive, Ma’am. I don’t like breaking the law or dodging lasers and gunfire, but there’s a lot of poor families that need to eat.”
The GPS beeped, and Andy gave Mrs. Vaida a slightly defiant look to counter her furrowed brow. “We’re here,” he said as he threw the engine in neutral and opened the cabin door.
Andy walked out and took a deep breath, but all he could smell was the net and the exhaust from the engine. “HEY JACKIE! WE SMELL MONEY?” Andy yelled out as he took stock of the sky. The first signs of sunrise were chasing all but the morning stars away and a light fog was rolling in from the north.
“FUCK YEAH I CAN SMELL ‘EM, ANDY! LET’S BOMB OUT AND GET BREAKFAST GOING!” Jackie looked slightly manic as she smiled brightly. Kalai, on the other hand, looked wet and miserable as she shivered, arms wrapped around herself. Andy gave his cousin a disgusted look as he pieced together what had happened. Every deckhand learned when to duck behind the raised bow and the roller horns that guided the nets so as not to get a faceful of spray when cutting through a swell. It was also a classic hazing trick for Senior Deckhands to let Junior Deckhands learn this the hard way.
Andy moved forward to stand in front of the two of them. Kalai was trying to squeeze her coat dry, but Andy knew it wouldn’t do much good until the sun came out. Jackie at least had the sense to look a little remorseful. “Kalai, why don’t you go sit in the cabin and get out of that wet coat. It’s cold enough out here even for us-”
“No way, Andy. Junior deckhand Kally here wants to impress you and get her dainty soft hands dirty! She’s been bragging about being a sailorwoman and wants to learn to fish ‘your way!” Jackie gave Kalai’s shoulder a wet slap as the poor alien woman went blue. Out of cold or embarrassment, Andy couldn’t tell.
All Andy could do was shake his head and huff. “Ok then! Secure the buoy and sling on my mark. I’ll get us in position!” Andy couldn’t help but chuckle as he heard Jackie start ordering Kalai about. Andy went back into the cabin and looked in the closet/bathroom to see if there was anything hanging up that he could give Kalai. There was only the one rain slicker and a few of Andy’s old sweaters from when he was a lot smaller. Well, looks like I’ll just be cold today. He quickly stripped out of his sweatshirt and grabbed the slicker before throwing a switch on the main control. Dr. He’osforos and Mrs. Vaida threw him quizzical looks as he went back outside wearing less than when he came in. He was down to a sleeveless shirt and his coveralls, and the morning breeze cut right through him and he braced his jaw to keep it from chattering.
“We’re ready to go- Andy, why are you practically naked from the waist up?” Kalai was staring wide eyed at him as he approached her and Jackie was on the bow. Jackie had everything ready; the buoy line was strung through the horns and ready to toss out. A giant orange and blue beach ball sized float hung at the end of the line to mark the end and make it easier to pick up later.
“Trade me your coat for these. If Jackie’s putting you to work, you’ll need these to keep warm.”
“I’m alright, I can-”
“I’m the Skipper of this boat, and I’m ordering you to take off that wet coat and put these on; and Jackie?” Andy gave his cousin a long and piercing look. “Give her the elbow gloves, not the halfsies.”
The scoff and the muttered Salishian profanities meant he’d read the next prank she’d had in mind right. She was planning on giving her the cloth gloves with only the palms and fingers coated in rubber. While perfectly fine for fishing, Andy knew they tended to get soaked through very quickly and did nothing to keep jellyfish stingers and fish slime off your hands. Kalai sputtered for a moment before she complied gratefully and she accepted the dry clothes and rain slicker.
Andy saw Jackie give him a strange look before looking back at Kalai, but he paid it no mind. He walked back to the controls on the drum and switched off the hydraulics, placing the mechanism in neutral. “SLING IT!” Andy called as he took the small jerry rigged steering wheel and threw the boat in reverse. Kalai jumped as the line started unspooling the net into the water at a rapid pace.
Andy set an ‘S’ bend in the quarter mile long net, zigzagging backwards until they came to the end of the line. Andy stopped the boat as Jackie tied off the other large buoy and tossed it over the side, unstringing the cork-line from the roller horns in the process. He pulled hard over and put a bit of distance from the net before shutting the engine down. The line of white and yellow corks marking the net bobbed lazily with the swells as silence settled over the water again. The waves rocked the boat gently as Andy found his sea legs again.
“Alright, I’ll get breakfast going. Jackie, Kalai? Post the watch for seals,” Andy called as he walked back into the cabin to fire up the tiny little gas stove.
Sakalbi, having found the confidence to stand at last, poked her head out of the cabin and stood on by the hatch to the fish hold. “Seals? Why would you need to watch for seals?”
Andy grit his teeth and looked over from where he was cracking open and scrambling eggs. “They’re the spawn of Satan and we hate their guts!” Andy bit out. Jackie came back and pulled the two shotguns and a pair of binoculars from the closet. Andy reached over to a side cabinet and pulled out a box of shells for them. Both his boss and the Doctor’s eyes got wide.
“Seals are the enemy of our blood. Were it not for the invasion, our unending war against these vermin would continue to this day!” Jackie growled as she loaded one for herself and rested the other on Andy’s seat at the helm.
The look of growing horror on Sakalbi’s face towards their facetious declarations caused Andy to chuckle a bit, before launching into an explanation. “We’re not fans of the species because they’ll wait until a fish gets caught in the net and then they’ll steal it, costing us a fish AND ripping a big hole in our nets that we then have to take time to repair. We use the shotguns and buckshot to give them a nice welt and convince them not to hang around, because they’ll wait up on the surface and watch the buoys, just like us. A single seal can and will take between five and ten fish. The worst is when they start getting full, they’ll just bite out the bellies of a salmon in the net. We can’t really do anything with that fish once it’s ‘seal-bit’. So yes, as fishermen, we hate them.”
“Learned opportunism in apex predators as a response to human activity… I think I’ll go see this behavior for myself!” Sakalbi practically rushed out the door towards the bow where Jackie was sitting on the roller horns explaining to Kalai how to spot the bastards, leaving Andy alone in the cabin with the Doctor while he cooked breakfast for them all.
Dr. He’osforos sat down heavily in the booth and pulled out his omnipad. “I’ve had a word with my friend in the Interior. She’s pulled the warrant for your brother, and I’ve withdrawn the charges I filed.”
Andy froze and turned around slowly. The only sound was the sizzle and pop of the eggs and chorizo that he’d added to them in the skillet. “You mean… it’s done? He can come home?” A wave of light headed euphoria swept over Andy and he swayed with the gentle rocking of the boat. “I will pay you back, Doc-”
The doctor held up his hand and stopped Andy. “We’ll call it even, but there’s something… I was able to get my hands on this,” Andy watched as the doctor swiped something towards his omnipad and it dinged. “What is it if I may-”
“Are you really asking an Indian to tell you a story? Because it’s going to be a long one if you are.” “I’m Sevastutavan, young man; we invented long stories.”
Andy froze and stared at the screen of his omnipad. The Vatikre was heavily accented, and Andy had a bit of trouble with the unfamiliar accent, but centered in the frame in a hospital room, sitting in a wheelchair, was a Salishian boy. Andy blinked in surprise as he stared at the screen. “Is that-”
“I am Ikw’is’hi’ehlah, and this bearer is… of the Orca Clan Sheloksets. I drove our Haida enemies onto the rocks and took many heads when they attacked our winter village on Orcas Island. I signed the Treaty with the Great White Father and I fought against the slavers of the south-”
Andy wanted to grab the omnipad but the smell of overcooking eggs brought his attention back to breakfast and Andy stirred and scrapped the food quickly, trying to save it.
“I asked her for any materials she could give me on your brother. Pictures, recordings, anything. This is what she gave me. It's the last known recording of your brother during an interrogation conducted by a Navy Commissar prior to his escape. It seems he made friends with a Pod of Deaths Head Commandos. Quite a bit of the recording has been redacted, but… there are portions of it where he talks about his family and his history. I thought you might like to have it.”
Andy hurriedly pulled out paper plates and a slice of bread for everyone and scooped a heaping portion of the chorizo eggs onto them. He handed the doctor his before leaning out the cabin door. “Slop’s on, come and get it!”
Andy sat down after moving the shotgun out of the way and started the video over again as the three women came back to grab their plates and lost himself watching his brother start telling his story.
“What’s that?” Andy heard Kalai ask over his shoulder, and he paused the video.
“That’s my brother! That’s Kay Tee!”
“Holy shit, what?” Jackie nearly shoved Kalai into Andy as she jammed her bread slice down her gullet and crowded in to see the screen.
Andy started the video over a second time and they watched in silence. “God, that brings back memories. Back when mom was still alive and before we broke up the warband. I can’t believe that slippery little punk ghosted a pod of Commandos for two fucking years! Holy shit, that’s badass!”
Before Andy could say anything, Sakalbi started coughing and brought the binoculars up. “Uh, Andy? Jackie? What do we do about sharks?”
Jackie looked at Andy in confusion. “Sharks? There’s nothing but Dogs around here.”
“Well those are shark fins and they’re charging the net!” Sakalbi pointed and Andy looked up to see dorsal fins charging the center of the net.
Andy looked at Jackie and spoke the same words in tandem, “Oh shit!”
First:
https://www.reddit.com/Sexyspacebabes/comments/yz0u3h/the_cryptid_chronicle_chapter_1/
Previous:
https://www.reddit.com/Sexyspacebabes/comments/13nh0oe/cryptid_chronicle_chapter_29/
Next:
To be posted 6/4/23
2023.05.28 04:46 RealisticFile8331 Questions on mini split system
 | Questions on mini split system submitted by RealisticFile8331 to hvacadvice [link] [comments] Questions on mini split system Hello, my mini split system does not seem to be working properly and I’m hoping for some help. For background, I live in a 1800sqft bilevel. We have a split system with one outside unit, and 3 indoor heads. It was great when it was brand new 3 years ago but have experienced some issues since.
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2023.05.28 04:20 Junior_Button5882 Why Did Kitchen Nightmares End? The Show's Cancelation Explained
 | Gordon Ramsay's reality show Kitchen Nightmares was immensely popular when it debuted in 2007, so it came as a surprise when it wasn't renewed for season 8. The British celebrity chef received a lot of recognition for his intense approach to cooking and unmatched passion for his craft. Gordon's heated attitude in the kitchen brought an undeniable level of entertainment to the screen, as he used his expertise to help restaurants struggling to keep their doors open. submitted by Junior_Button5882 to kitchennightmarez [link] [comments] SCREENRANT VIDEO OF THE DAYClosePauseUnmuteCurrent Time 0:03/Duration 1:30Loaded: 9.32%Fullscreen While Gordon has a multitude of successful shows, Kitchen Nightmares featured restaurants that needed a makeover in terms of their menu, service, and staff. Instead of focusing on specific cooking techniques or ingredients, the award-winning chef used his knowledge to help eateries turn their businesses around. Attempting to save establishments from closing and living to see another day was Chef Ramsay's mission, but his goal was cut short when it all came to an end in 2014. RELATED:5 Reasons Why Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmare Is Iconic (5 Reasons Why It's Not) Gordon Ramsay Axed Kitchen NightmaresIt may come as a surprise, but Gordon himself is the one who decided to put Kitchen Nightmares on the chopping block. Typically, television networks dictate whether a show will be renewed based on ratings and viewership, but in this case, it was entirely up to the chef, and he had his reasons. According to Delish, Gordon reached his boiling point after one of the restaurants on Kitchen Nightmares made him want to walk away from the show entirely, and he realized he was done.Gordon didn't reveal which particular restaurant made him quit, but he did explain that he and the restaurant owner didn't see eye-to-eye, and he felt that the owner was taking advantage of customers at his ski resort. Dealing with someone in that capacity who wasn't listening to anything he had to say influenced his decision to cancel the show. They filmed for a week, and at the end of it, that was when the chef had his show-altering epiphany. The Revival Of Kitchen Nightmares Has The Potential To Be PerfectionKitchen Nightmares will be returning after almost a decade off the air, but the long hiatus may be the recipe for its future success. When the brutal chef decided to close the door on the popular show, he took a break for three years and came back with another hit show, 24 Hours to Hell and Back. If history is set to repeat itself, that means the revival of Kitchen Nightmares has the potential to be better than ever after taking nearly ten years to whip up a new take on an old classic. Of course, Gordon won't be without his signature attitude and brazen authority in the kitchen.At the time, canceling Kitchen Nightmares felt like the right thing to do, and it couldn't be coming back at a better time. Unlike Gordon's other reality shows, it won't be focused on the element of competition, which will be a great change of pace. Seeing restaurants struggling in these economically difficult times will give Kitchen Nightmares a fresh perspective, as Gordon tries to get them back on track. https://preview.redd.it/1lg7uff3xi2b1.png?width=848&format=png&auto=webp&s=fe9f85564b062500f1d8e82794d369bc33f013c5 |
2023.05.28 04:10 FitCardiologist3003 Execution ideas
Leatherface executions The Split: Leatherface saws the victim up their crotch through their head, slicing them in half
The Execution: Leatherface grabs the victim by their head and saws it off, holding it in the air and releasing a gladiator pig squeal
Killed Kirk: Leatherface repeatedly hits the victims head with a sledgehammer causing them to have a seizure
Faceless: Leatherface pulls a meat cleaver from under his apron and cuts the skin off of a victims face
Rev Raise: Leatherface chainsaws the victim through their stomach and hoists them into the air on the saw
Tis’ But A Scratch: Leatherface cuts the limbs off the victim one by one and starts repeatedly kicking their limbless stumpy body as its squirming around to finish them off.
Hitchhiker executions
Nasty Noose: Hitchhiker cuts the victims stomach open and strangles them with their intestines
Ravenous: Hitchhiker spontaneously slashes and maims the victim into a long and painful death
Selfie: Hitchhiker beats the victims head in with his camera and takes a selfie with their corpse
By By Fingy: Hitchhiker cuts 4 fingers off of the victims hand and forces the fingers down their throat suffocating them.
The Cook Executions
Bad Boy: The Cook takes his belt and whips the victims then he tightens it around their neck to kill them
Apple Of Eye: The Cook stabs the victims eye with his wood pole and pulls it out of the socket
Shut Up: The Cook stuffs his wood rod into the victims gullet and makes them choke to death
Sissy Execution
She force feeds the victim her poison causing an overdose
submitted by FitCardiologist3003 to TXChainSawGame [link] [comments]
The Execution: Leatherface grabs the victim by their head and saws it off, holding it in the air and releasing a gladiator pig squeal
Killed Kirk: Leatherface repeatedly hits the victims head with a sledgehammer causing them to have a seizure
Faceless: Leatherface pulls a meat cleaver from under his apron and cuts the skin off of a victims face
Rev Raise: Leatherface chainsaws the victim through their stomach and hoists them into the air on the saw
Tis’ But A Scratch: Leatherface cuts the limbs off the victim one by one and starts repeatedly kicking their limbless stumpy body as its squirming around to finish them off.
Hitchhiker executions
Nasty Noose: Hitchhiker cuts the victims stomach open and strangles them with their intestines
Ravenous: Hitchhiker spontaneously slashes and maims the victim into a long and painful death
Selfie: Hitchhiker beats the victims head in with his camera and takes a selfie with their corpse
By By Fingy: Hitchhiker cuts 4 fingers off of the victims hand and forces the fingers down their throat suffocating them.
The Cook Executions
Bad Boy: The Cook takes his belt and whips the victims then he tightens it around their neck to kill them
Apple Of Eye: The Cook stabs the victims eye with his wood pole and pulls it out of the socket
Shut Up: The Cook stuffs his wood rod into the victims gullet and makes them choke to death
Sissy Execution
She force feeds the victim her poison causing an overdose
2023.05.28 03:57 casanovafrankin Keep blowing fuses - Looking for advise
I keep blowing fuses in my new apartment because the idiot who designed the place put the bedroom, office, and dining room all on one fuse. We have to turn off all the AC units to run the air fryer and keep forgetting 🙃. We’ve gone through about 10 already so it’s getting expensive.
I heard through a friend that there are fuses that have a fail-safe that makes them just pop out instead of blowing the whole bulb thing (and you can pop them back in after) but after some googling I still can’t tell if those will work for my set up.
I’ve attached photos of the fuse box and fuses we’ve been buying for reference.
The people at home hardware are mean and don’t help. Any (constructive) advice is much appreciated ❤️
https://imgur.com/TkQQxqL
https://imgur.com/NQL569Z
https://imgur.com/3bxDIYM
submitted by casanovafrankin to askanelectrician [link] [comments]
I heard through a friend that there are fuses that have a fail-safe that makes them just pop out instead of blowing the whole bulb thing (and you can pop them back in after) but after some googling I still can’t tell if those will work for my set up.
I’ve attached photos of the fuse box and fuses we’ve been buying for reference.
The people at home hardware are mean and don’t help. Any (constructive) advice is much appreciated ❤️
https://imgur.com/TkQQxqL
https://imgur.com/NQL569Z
https://imgur.com/3bxDIYM
2023.05.28 03:55 heartlandmiami How Long Does Ground Beef Last In The Fridge? Time
 | If you’re a discerning shopper who wants to make the most of your food budget, then learning how long ground beef lasts in the fridge is an essential skill. Ground beef can be an economical and versatile choice for meals, but it runs the risk of spoiling if not stored correctly or consumed quickly enough. Whether you’ve already had dinner plans fall through or you want to get ahead on meal prepping, read on to learn more about properly storing ground beef and identifying when it has gone bad. submitted by heartlandmiami to u/heartlandmiami [link] [comments] Understanding the Basics of Ground Beef StorageWhen it comes to keeping ground beef around long-term in the refrigerator, the key is keeping a consistent temperature at or below 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Make sure your fridge is set between 34-40°F and that you are monitoring its temperature on a regular basis. For optimal storage conditions, store ground beef on the bottom shelf of the fridge away from direct contact with air flow openings. Understanding the Basics of Ground Beef Storage What are the Health Storing Ground Beef in the Fridge?The most important factor to keep in mind when it comes to storing ground beef is food safety. Ground beef can be a breeding ground for bacteria if it isn’t stored at the right temperature or handled properly. To ensure your ground beef doesn’t become dangerous, make sure you are properly wrapping and refrigerating it as soon as you purchase it from the market. Additionally, never leave raw meat out of the fridge for more than two hours. Even if it is hot outside, the risk of food poisoning is too great.How Long is Ground Beef Last In The Fridge?When stored properly in the fridge, ground beef is safe to consume for up to two days. If you’d like to extend its shelf life, consider freezing your ground beef within one day of purchase. Frozen ground beef can last for up to three months. How Long is Ground Beef Last In The Fridge? Tips for Preparing & Cooking with Ground Beef in the RefrigeratorWhen you’re ready to use your ground beef, there are a few tips and tricks to keep in mind. Before preparing any meal with ground beef, be sure to check the color and texture of the meat. If it appears slimy or discolored in any way, throw it away immediately. Additionally, make sure that you’re properly washing all cutting boards and utensils after handling raw meat before using them for other food items. Lastly, always cook your ground beef thoroughly before eating it – never consume undercooked meat.How to Tell When Ground Beef Has Gone Bad In The Fridge?Ground beef will usually start to spoil within two days of being in the fridge, so it is important to keep a close eye on it. If you’re unsure if your ground beef is still safe to eat, use your senses as indicators. Bad meat will give off an unpleasant odor and may also have changed color or texture. Discoloration will generally range from yellowing all the way to grey or green patches. Above all else, when in doubt, throw it out.Alternatives to Refrigerating Ground Beef for Longer Storage TimeIf you need your ground beef to last longer than two days, consider freezing it. Ground beef can be frozen safely for up to three months, making it a great option for meal prepping or stocking up on your favorite protein sources. When freezing ground beef, make sure you are using airtight containers or freezer bags and that the items are fully sealed to avoid any risk of freezer burn. Additionally, check back periodically while the meat is in storage to ensure nothing has gone bad or melted due to an unexpected power outage. Alternatives to Refrigerating Ground Beef for Longer Storage Time FAQ: Ground BeefIs ground beef good after 5 days in fridge?For optimal food safety, it's important to follow proper guidelines when storing and cooking ground beef. Keep ground beef in the refrigerator for 1-2 days and consume leftovers within 4 days. When storing in the freezer, it's good for up to 4 months. When cooking, be sure to reach a minimum internal temperature of 160°F (71°C), measured with a food thermometer. Taking these precautions can ensure your meals are not only delicious, but also safe to eat.Can you cook ground beef after 3 days in fridge?Verify the Expiration Date: Utilize sell-by and expiration dates as indicators for the freshness of your ground beef (7). The sell-by date reveals the length of time a product can remain on display for purchase. You may refrigerate ground beef for up to 2 days after this date without any safety concerns (3, 6).Can you cook ground beef after 5 days?Refrigerated ground beef can be safely consumed up to two days after its labeled date (3, 6). On the other hand, the expiration date, also known as the "best before" date, indicates when the quality and flavor of the product may start to deteriorate. For optimal taste and quality, it is recommended to consume the product prior to its expiration date.Is raw ground beef good after 4 days?Ground beef storage guidelines: Refrigerate for 1-2 days and eat leftovers within 4 days. Freeze for up to 4 months. Safe and practical advice for any kitchen.Can ground beef last 7 days in fridge?The U.S. Department of Agriculture recommends that ground beef should be refrigerated for a maximum of two days from purchase. It's advisable to cook or freeze the beef before the end of this period for best results. Freezing the beef offers a long-term solution and can keep it fresh for months in the freezer.Conclusion: How Long Does Ground Beef Last In The Fridge?Learning how long ground beef lasts in the fridge is an essential part of becoming a savvy shopper. Ground beef can be an economical and versatile choice for meals, but it runs the risk of spoiling if not stored correctly or consumed quickly enough. To keep your ground beef safe and fresh, make sure you are properly wrapping and refrigerating it as soon as you purchase it from the market, monitoring its temperature regularly to keep it at or below 40 degrees Fahrenheit. If you’d like to extend its shelf life, consider freezing your ground beef within one day of purchase. When preparing meals with ground beef, be sure to check the color and texture of the meat before cooking and always cook your ground beef thoroughly until it reaches a minimum internal temperature of 160°F (71°C). Lastly, remember to use your senses as indicators when in doubt about the freshness of your ground beef.#HeartLandMiami #HeartLandMiami #HeartLandMiami |
2023.05.28 03:53 legacybabe ~candyland legacy~ (w/LOTS of kids<3
candyland legacy~
gen 1 : Milky Way
you were always not “normal”. you were way different by color, flavor, and social skills you wanted to show them that it’s normal~ build your way up to fame (LOTS of friends) and You! {firstname} will show them all different is awesome
traits: cheerful,outgoing, and good
aspiration:friend of the world(reasoning is you want everyone to try chocolate!)
gen 1 rules: must be a social influencer career (So you can influence people to eat chocolate
rule 2: have 7(or more) children (who will be named after sour patch colors)
rule 3: while ur pregnant make 5 friends each times(which will give you 35 friends or more, spouse can count if want).
Rule 4:spouse must not have a job.(Change if you want)
Rule 5: complete ur aspiration
Rule 6:Finish Charisma Skill.
gen 2:purple sour patch
since you had 6 other siblings you were always the one to make sacrifices unfairly .but now since ur grown up you are used to it. Ur gloomy till you find “the one”.
Traits :flirty,neat, and gloomy(swap gloomy out with outgoing after you meet the one)
aspiration: love aspiration (any)
rule 1:find ur loved one at a place you like (in ur save )
rule :2 unless ur a man your spouse can’t move in with you till you're married .
Rule 3: max children is 3. adopted children won’t count
Rule 4:Finish cooking skill
Extra options for gen:2
cats and dogs: buy a brown cat or dog (to look like ur mom/chocolate
spa day: at least once go with a daughteor spouse to the spa
Gen 3: skittles
you were in love with a really famous Dead French artist(died 80000 years ago) (not ❤️ but you appreciated their work) and you wanted to be like them since u were a kid.but you figured something out! UR RELATED!!! You also listened to EVERYTHING and did what everyone said
Traits:art lover,foodie, and good
Aspiration;any art inspired one
rule 1: master art skill:
Rule 2: sell your paintings
rule 3: have children with ur childhood best friend
rule 4:divorce them after reading a book to divorce your spouse(remember you listen to everything
Rule 5:eco living:city living: buy or make a artist/French decorated apartment
optionals for gen 3
pack: dine out: go on a “date” with mom and granny
pack: growing together: have sleepovers for ur kids
Pack:knifty knitting:knit when u become an elder
Gen 4:candy corn
you were raised as a nice respectful lady/man but you were always a delinquent. You were tired of ur moms arts
traits:mean evil and foodie
Aspiration:any mischief one
Rule 1:as a teen run away (you can comeback but not needed to
rule 2:Have 2 boyfriends and try for baby’s with both of them the same day and take a pregnancy test AFTER you tried for a baby with both
Rule 3: have 1 child
rule 4: master mischief and charisma.
rule 5: get people to break up/hook up with other people
rule 6. Join criminal career
gen 4 optionals
werewolves and get to work: Date an Alien and a werewolf
gen 5:nerds
even tho you grew up with a criminal
You have learned to not steal,bully,gaslight anyone or anything.You have been made fun of for being a little “smartie pants”
traits:geek, nice, and foodie
aspiration:computer whiz
rule 1: get an A In school before aging to a YA
rule 2: visit your grandparents/Parents every Time you have a child
Rule 3: marry ur baby daddy as an elder.
Rule 4:stay “healthy” take jogs or go to the gym SOMETIMES
optionals for gen 5:
High school years; visit copperdale some days and see old teachers
Gen 6: charms blow pops
u BEGGED ur mom to bring you to the gym, you were always athletic.As a kid you were the fastest In the class
traits;athletic,outgoing,
aspiration; athletic one (I forgot the name
rule 1 :have a home gym in ur house
rule 2: Marry ur spouse at a gym/or a nice park
rule 3:jog everyday
rule 4: have 4 children
rule 5: master athletic skill
Gen 6: optionals
Cats and dogs; have cats and dogs
island living;live in sulani and swim in the water
Gen 7: Cotton Candy
you were always a sweetie pie. You have wanted to run a homeless shelter, hospital , or an unlimited animal shelter
traits:outgoing cheerful and flirty
aspiration:friend of the world
Rule 1: have NO negative relationships to anyone
Rule 2: invite ur mom over to work out together
Rule 3:be best friends with ur mom or ur heir
Rule 4:”buy” a plot and make it ur family graveyard
Rule 5:Have 7 children
Rule 6:Master Charisma Skill
optional for gen 7:
Paranormal:talk to ghosts for fun
get together ;make a club with ur good friends and hang at ur place a lot
Gen 8:starburst
you have always believed zodiacs define ur personality. ur friends find that as a negative but still like you
Traits;good,family oriented, and whateva else you want
aspiration; any
rule 1:master charisma to gaslight people to believe zodiacs
Rule 2: go to magnolia promenade and buy soaps
Rule 3:name ur children after zodiacs (except ur heir
Rule4: must be a babysitter for a career
Rule 5: marry ur spouse as soon as y’all meet
Rule 6: have identical twins
Gen 9;air head
you have loved air more then water,fire, and earth. u have gotten surgery to look like a balloon. You will do anything for the air
Traits:out going,And whatever else
Aspiration;ur choice
rule 1:master any skill
Rule 2: have 2-3 children
Rule 3:complete element collection
Rule 4: make ur spouse cheat on you sit ur twin
Rule 5; after getting cheated on LOVE Taylor swift
Rule 6: live on a home with a balcony
Gen 10:gummy bear
You have been different to the rest of the family… YOU WERE A BEAR!!
traits:evil(you rawr at people) foodie, and art lover
aspiration:Any!
Rule 1: have children with a werewolf
Rule 2: live in a forest
Rule 2: wear a bear costume(can be cc or maxis made)
Rule 4; master charisma and a skill of ur choice
Rule 5; have parties at ur family graveyard (which Cotten candy set up:
Thank You For reading!
submitted by legacybabe to Sims4Challenges [link] [comments]
gen 1 : Milky Way
you were always not “normal”. you were way different by color, flavor, and social skills you wanted to show them that it’s normal~ build your way up to fame (LOTS of friends) and You! {firstname} will show them all different is awesome
traits: cheerful,outgoing, and good
aspiration:friend of the world(reasoning is you want everyone to try chocolate!)
gen 1 rules: must be a social influencer career (So you can influence people to eat chocolate
rule 2: have 7(or more) children (who will be named after sour patch colors)
rule 3: while ur pregnant make 5 friends each times(which will give you 35 friends or more, spouse can count if want).
Rule 4:spouse must not have a job.(Change if you want)
Rule 5: complete ur aspiration
Rule 6:Finish Charisma Skill.
gen 2:purple sour patch
since you had 6 other siblings you were always the one to make sacrifices unfairly .but now since ur grown up you are used to it. Ur gloomy till you find “the one”.
Traits :flirty,neat, and gloomy(swap gloomy out with outgoing after you meet the one)
aspiration: love aspiration (any)
rule 1:find ur loved one at a place you like (in ur save )
rule :2 unless ur a man your spouse can’t move in with you till you're married .
Rule 3: max children is 3. adopted children won’t count
Rule 4:Finish cooking skill
Extra options for gen:2
cats and dogs: buy a brown cat or dog (to look like ur mom/chocolate
spa day: at least once go with a daughteor spouse to the spa
Gen 3: skittles
you were in love with a really famous Dead French artist(died 80000 years ago) (not ❤️ but you appreciated their work) and you wanted to be like them since u were a kid.but you figured something out! UR RELATED!!! You also listened to EVERYTHING and did what everyone said
Traits:art lover,foodie, and good
Aspiration;any art inspired one
rule 1: master art skill:
Rule 2: sell your paintings
rule 3: have children with ur childhood best friend
rule 4:divorce them after reading a book to divorce your spouse(remember you listen to everything
Rule 5:eco living:city living: buy or make a artist/French decorated apartment
optionals for gen 3
pack: dine out: go on a “date” with mom and granny
pack: growing together: have sleepovers for ur kids
Pack:knifty knitting:knit when u become an elder
Gen 4:candy corn
you were raised as a nice respectful lady/man but you were always a delinquent. You were tired of ur moms arts
traits:mean evil and foodie
Aspiration:any mischief one
Rule 1:as a teen run away (you can comeback but not needed to
rule 2:Have 2 boyfriends and try for baby’s with both of them the same day and take a pregnancy test AFTER you tried for a baby with both
Rule 3: have 1 child
rule 4: master mischief and charisma.
rule 5: get people to break up/hook up with other people
rule 6. Join criminal career
gen 4 optionals
werewolves and get to work: Date an Alien and a werewolf
gen 5:nerds
even tho you grew up with a criminal
You have learned to not steal,bully,gaslight anyone or anything.You have been made fun of for being a little “smartie pants”
traits:geek, nice, and foodie
aspiration:computer whiz
rule 1: get an A In school before aging to a YA
rule 2: visit your grandparents/Parents every Time you have a child
Rule 3: marry ur baby daddy as an elder.
Rule 4:stay “healthy” take jogs or go to the gym SOMETIMES
optionals for gen 5:
High school years; visit copperdale some days and see old teachers
Gen 6: charms blow pops
u BEGGED ur mom to bring you to the gym, you were always athletic.As a kid you were the fastest In the class
traits;athletic,outgoing,
aspiration; athletic one (I forgot the name
rule 1 :have a home gym in ur house
rule 2: Marry ur spouse at a gym/or a nice park
rule 3:jog everyday
rule 4: have 4 children
rule 5: master athletic skill
Gen 6: optionals
Cats and dogs; have cats and dogs
island living;live in sulani and swim in the water
Gen 7: Cotton Candy
you were always a sweetie pie. You have wanted to run a homeless shelter, hospital , or an unlimited animal shelter
traits:outgoing cheerful and flirty
aspiration:friend of the world
Rule 1: have NO negative relationships to anyone
Rule 2: invite ur mom over to work out together
Rule 3:be best friends with ur mom or ur heir
Rule 4:”buy” a plot and make it ur family graveyard
Rule 5:Have 7 children
Rule 6:Master Charisma Skill
optional for gen 7:
Paranormal:talk to ghosts for fun
get together ;make a club with ur good friends and hang at ur place a lot
Gen 8:starburst
you have always believed zodiacs define ur personality. ur friends find that as a negative but still like you
Traits;good,family oriented, and whateva else you want
aspiration; any
rule 1:master charisma to gaslight people to believe zodiacs
Rule 2: go to magnolia promenade and buy soaps
Rule 3:name ur children after zodiacs (except ur heir
Rule4: must be a babysitter for a career
Rule 5: marry ur spouse as soon as y’all meet
Rule 6: have identical twins
Gen 9;air head
you have loved air more then water,fire, and earth. u have gotten surgery to look like a balloon. You will do anything for the air
Traits:out going,And whatever else
Aspiration;ur choice
rule 1:master any skill
Rule 2: have 2-3 children
Rule 3:complete element collection
Rule 4: make ur spouse cheat on you sit ur twin
Rule 5; after getting cheated on LOVE Taylor swift
Rule 6: live on a home with a balcony
Gen 10:gummy bear
You have been different to the rest of the family… YOU WERE A BEAR!!
traits:evil(you rawr at people) foodie, and art lover
aspiration:Any!
Rule 1: have children with a werewolf
Rule 2: live in a forest
Rule 2: wear a bear costume(can be cc or maxis made)
Rule 4; master charisma and a skill of ur choice
Rule 5; have parties at ur family graveyard (which Cotten candy set up:
Thank You For reading!
2023.05.28 03:31 Patricio_Guapo Hubig’s Pie
Two minutes in the air fryer.
Do it.
submitted by Patricio_Guapo to NewOrleans [link] [comments]
Do it.
2023.05.28 02:39 JayBruv93 Homemade Air Fryer Hot Wings!
 | 1lb of wings made in my Ninja Air Fryer, then tossed in franks red hot sauce! submitted by JayBruv93 to Wings [link] [comments] Call me crazy but, I had buffalo wild wings last week and these tasted substantially better than they did. Crazy to say since these were air fried as opposed to deep fried. |
2023.05.28 01:51 KetoVeganHell Vegan and in ketosis
First let me start off by giving a couple disclaimers: made an alt to post here cause I didn't really want my main tied to this given the irrational hate directed at us vegans. Also despite the spicy user name I picked, I do actually love my diet and I've actually never felt better in my life. That being said, trying this really isn't for the faint of heart, it's squirrel mode all the time.
That out the way, I'm gonna share my experience and the ups and downs associated. First off, I'm in ketosis for some of its non-weightloss effects, I'm not attempting to lose any weight and I suspect I'd actually have an easier time with this if I had the extra body fat to run off, but alas my body fat percent is already right at target. I'm in ketosis for its regulating effect, having energy all day irrelevant to when I last ate, the neurological shift in GABA/glutamate balance towards GABA for anxiolytic effect (no medication has helped my social anxiety as much), and better sleep regulation. I recognize the reduced appetite that comes with ketosis has helped a lot of people with weight loss and that's great for them, but it's honestly a pain in the ass for me cause I have to constantly remember to be snacking through the day to make sure I get enough calories.
I am a squirrel. No two ways about it, I have nut and seed caches hidden everywhere. In my car, around my office, by my bed, in the pockets of every jacket I own. I get a lot of bulk calories from various coconut products, I make chia seed pudding with coconut milk and add MCT oil and berries in the morning, and I eat a hearty salad or cook up some veggies for dinner, but the vast majority of my nutrition and nutrient profile comes from nuts and seeds I snack on through the day which help me hit my target fat content (macadamia nuts are my saving grace) and get all the micronutrients I need.
If you thought going out to eat with friends was hard just being vegan, absolutely forget it this way. Once you eliminate flour, rice, and corn, and all their associated products, you are basically just left with places that have a decent vegan salad without a too sugary dressing. Going out is really just the bar at this point, where even there I'm limited to the hard liquors but at least I can enjoy myself the same as everyone else, and while they gobble up their nachos or breadsticks I produce a bag of nuts and seeds and get my squirrel on.
And forget any kind of product being tailored for your diet. All the ready made vegan meals are carby as fuck, and all the pre-made keto meals are meat and dairy as far as the eye can see. Costco actually has some nice options of tasty nut and seed clusters, chocolate deliciousness (with artificial sweetners like monkfruit) but that's snacking food, not a meal. I'm fortunate I can cook and have become very proficient at 1000 ways to grill up peppers, smoke mushrooms, and air fry Brussel sprouts, and recently I've even reached the point where I can make meals that even my non-vegan non-keto friends will compliment and seems like a real dinner, but there's just absolutely no way I can ever go eat at someone else's place and expect to get enough food.
I'm committed to being ethical in my consumption, I won't go back to animal products, and I absolutely love how being in ketosis feels (once I got past that first couple months for the liver to become adaptive) I can't imagine going back, everytime I've broken down and had some sticky rice or bread I regret it every time, I hate feeling my energy so dependent on when I last ate and my mood all over the place. But god fuck damn it all if the overlap of these two isn't the biggest pain in the ass to try and have a social life with. Can't go out to eat, can't have popcorn at the movies, and it really feels like everyone has something to say about my diet, some opinion on why I'm ruining my health or can't possibly be getting what I need. Even had fellow vegans get really mean to me about being in ketosis, I think they associate it with the idiots who eat bacon for every meal and don't seem to get that plant fats hit different. And the carnivores just get angry when they realize their go to line about vegans not getting enough fat and protein can't apply to me. Feels like everyone just hates that I eat this way even though it literally doesn't effect them.
Anyway, thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
submitted by KetoVeganHell to vegan [link] [comments]
That out the way, I'm gonna share my experience and the ups and downs associated. First off, I'm in ketosis for some of its non-weightloss effects, I'm not attempting to lose any weight and I suspect I'd actually have an easier time with this if I had the extra body fat to run off, but alas my body fat percent is already right at target. I'm in ketosis for its regulating effect, having energy all day irrelevant to when I last ate, the neurological shift in GABA/glutamate balance towards GABA for anxiolytic effect (no medication has helped my social anxiety as much), and better sleep regulation. I recognize the reduced appetite that comes with ketosis has helped a lot of people with weight loss and that's great for them, but it's honestly a pain in the ass for me cause I have to constantly remember to be snacking through the day to make sure I get enough calories.
I am a squirrel. No two ways about it, I have nut and seed caches hidden everywhere. In my car, around my office, by my bed, in the pockets of every jacket I own. I get a lot of bulk calories from various coconut products, I make chia seed pudding with coconut milk and add MCT oil and berries in the morning, and I eat a hearty salad or cook up some veggies for dinner, but the vast majority of my nutrition and nutrient profile comes from nuts and seeds I snack on through the day which help me hit my target fat content (macadamia nuts are my saving grace) and get all the micronutrients I need.
If you thought going out to eat with friends was hard just being vegan, absolutely forget it this way. Once you eliminate flour, rice, and corn, and all their associated products, you are basically just left with places that have a decent vegan salad without a too sugary dressing. Going out is really just the bar at this point, where even there I'm limited to the hard liquors but at least I can enjoy myself the same as everyone else, and while they gobble up their nachos or breadsticks I produce a bag of nuts and seeds and get my squirrel on.
And forget any kind of product being tailored for your diet. All the ready made vegan meals are carby as fuck, and all the pre-made keto meals are meat and dairy as far as the eye can see. Costco actually has some nice options of tasty nut and seed clusters, chocolate deliciousness (with artificial sweetners like monkfruit) but that's snacking food, not a meal. I'm fortunate I can cook and have become very proficient at 1000 ways to grill up peppers, smoke mushrooms, and air fry Brussel sprouts, and recently I've even reached the point where I can make meals that even my non-vegan non-keto friends will compliment and seems like a real dinner, but there's just absolutely no way I can ever go eat at someone else's place and expect to get enough food.
I'm committed to being ethical in my consumption, I won't go back to animal products, and I absolutely love how being in ketosis feels (once I got past that first couple months for the liver to become adaptive) I can't imagine going back, everytime I've broken down and had some sticky rice or bread I regret it every time, I hate feeling my energy so dependent on when I last ate and my mood all over the place. But god fuck damn it all if the overlap of these two isn't the biggest pain in the ass to try and have a social life with. Can't go out to eat, can't have popcorn at the movies, and it really feels like everyone has something to say about my diet, some opinion on why I'm ruining my health or can't possibly be getting what I need. Even had fellow vegans get really mean to me about being in ketosis, I think they associate it with the idiots who eat bacon for every meal and don't seem to get that plant fats hit different. And the carnivores just get angry when they realize their go to line about vegans not getting enough fat and protein can't apply to me. Feels like everyone just hates that I eat this way even though it literally doesn't effect them.
Anyway, thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
2023.05.28 00:44 HarpoonataVenture That 'Last Supper' poster...
... is so typical of Michael Patrick King. It has his fingerprints all over it.
I've noticed from listening to interviews he's done about both the movies and AJLT, that even by the standards of showbusiness writers, he is an exceptionally pretentious man.
There are a number of times when I've heard him describe banal (or in many cases, very poor quality) scenes from the show or the movies in this baroque, fantastical manner, which seems often borderline delusional when you actually look at the scenes themselves.
For example, the scene where Carrie walks in to her downstairs neighbour's apartment and finds her asleep on the couch isn't just purposeless filler; it's 'a modern day Sleeping Beauty mythos...'
Carrie and Miranda dressed in black in a drugstore in the first movie are 'reminiscent of the witches in Macbeth'. The farcical and embarrassing scenes in the second movie were, of course, intended to call to mind images of Katherine Hepburn in desert khakis.
The scene in AJLT where Carrie can't find the source of the beeping in her new apartment is 'a Buster Keaton masterpiece.'
the ash-scattering scene on the bridge in Paris in AJLT isn't just a weak and incongruent anticlimax; no, no- it's 'an operatic aria without words'. (I believe this last deluded nugget, in all fairness, came out of the mouth of SJP- but there's absolutely no way in hell that he didn't say it to her.)
The one thing all these examples have in common is the abject failure of the scenes themselves to convey any of these apparent subtexts or symbols. In other words, they exist solely in MPK's own self-absorbed mind; no viewer, regardless of their cultural tastes or knowledge, would ever have picked up on any of these supposed references if he hadn't clouded the air with them when waxing lyrical about his own narrative genius. Intelligent, subtle, rich storytelling speaks for itself (indeed, spoke for itself- for instance, in the last season of SATC, which I think in many ways was the show at its finest).
There's no trace left of the textured, lively, witty, supple or endearing qualities of the original show in AJLT. Instead, I notice MPK is continuing to insult the audience with his faux-highbrow nonsense with this latest poster. The Last Supper'; one of the greatest treasures of Western civilisation... recreated by the cast of And Just Like That.
That will likely be the only bona fide joke of the season.
submitted by HarpoonataVenture to Andjustlikethat [link] [comments]
I've noticed from listening to interviews he's done about both the movies and AJLT, that even by the standards of showbusiness writers, he is an exceptionally pretentious man.
There are a number of times when I've heard him describe banal (or in many cases, very poor quality) scenes from the show or the movies in this baroque, fantastical manner, which seems often borderline delusional when you actually look at the scenes themselves.
For example, the scene where Carrie walks in to her downstairs neighbour's apartment and finds her asleep on the couch isn't just purposeless filler; it's 'a modern day Sleeping Beauty mythos...'
Carrie and Miranda dressed in black in a drugstore in the first movie are 'reminiscent of the witches in Macbeth'. The farcical and embarrassing scenes in the second movie were, of course, intended to call to mind images of Katherine Hepburn in desert khakis.
The scene in AJLT where Carrie can't find the source of the beeping in her new apartment is 'a Buster Keaton masterpiece.'
the ash-scattering scene on the bridge in Paris in AJLT isn't just a weak and incongruent anticlimax; no, no- it's 'an operatic aria without words'. (I believe this last deluded nugget, in all fairness, came out of the mouth of SJP- but there's absolutely no way in hell that he didn't say it to her.)
The one thing all these examples have in common is the abject failure of the scenes themselves to convey any of these apparent subtexts or symbols. In other words, they exist solely in MPK's own self-absorbed mind; no viewer, regardless of their cultural tastes or knowledge, would ever have picked up on any of these supposed references if he hadn't clouded the air with them when waxing lyrical about his own narrative genius. Intelligent, subtle, rich storytelling speaks for itself (indeed, spoke for itself- for instance, in the last season of SATC, which I think in many ways was the show at its finest).
There's no trace left of the textured, lively, witty, supple or endearing qualities of the original show in AJLT. Instead, I notice MPK is continuing to insult the audience with his faux-highbrow nonsense with this latest poster. The Last Supper'; one of the greatest treasures of Western civilisation... recreated by the cast of And Just Like That.
That will likely be the only bona fide joke of the season.
2023.05.28 00:36 JoshAsdvgi STONE BOY
 | submitted by JoshAsdvgi to Native_Stories [link] [comments] STONE BOY [BRULE SIOUX) Depending on the individual storyteller, the Sioux legend of Stone Boy takes many different forms. The following version from the Cheyenne River Reservation was heard by Henry Crow Dog around 1910, when he was a child listening to the storytellers at the campfire. Back in the great days of the Indians, a maiden and her five brothers lived together. People in those times had to look for food; it was their main occupation. So while the sister cooked and made clothes, the brothers spent their days hunting. It happened once that this family moved their tipi to the bottom of a canyon. It was a strange, silent place, but there was water in a creek and the hunting was good. The canyon was cool in the summer and shielded from wind in the winter. Still, when the brothers went out hunting, the girl was always waiting for them. Waiting and listening, she heard noises. Often she thought they were footsteps, but when she looked outside, no one was there. Then one evening, only four of the five brothers came back from hunting. They and the sister stayed awake all night, wondering what could have happened to the other. The next day when the men went hunting, only three returned. Again they and the sister stayed awake wondering. The next evening only two came home, and they and the girl were afraid. In those early days the Indians had no sacred ceremonies or prayers to guide them, so it was hard for the maiden and her two brothers to watch through the night in that ghostly place. Again the brothers went out in the morning, and only a single one returned at night. Now the girl cried and begged him to stay home. But they had to eat, and so in the morning her last and youngest brother, whom she loved best of all, went out to hunt. Like the others, he did not come back. Now no one would bring the maiden food or water, or protect her. Weepmg, the girl left the canyon and climbed to the top of a hill. She wanted to die, but did not know how to. Then she saw a round pebble lying on the ground. Thinking that it would kill her, she picked it up and swallowed it. With peace in her heart the maiden went back to the tipi. She drank some water and felt a stirring inside her, as if the rock were telling her not to worry. She was comforted, though she could not sleep for missing her brothers. The next day she had nothing left to eat except some pemmican and berries. She meant to eat them and drink water from the creek, but she found she wasn't hungry. She felt as if she had been to a feast, and walked around singing to herself. The following day she was happy in a way she had never been before. On the fourth day that the girl had been alone, she felt pain. "Now the end comes," she thought. "Now I die." She didn't mind; but instead of dying, she gave birth to a little boy. "What will I do with this child?" she wondered. "How did it come? It must be that stone I swallowed." The child was strong, with shining eyes. Though the girl felt weak for a while, she had to keep going to care for the new life, her son. She named him Iyan Hokshi, Stone Boy, and wrapped him in her brothers' clothes. Day after day he grew, ten times faster than ordinary infants, and with a more perfect body. The mother knew that her baby had great powers. One day when he was playing outside the tipi, he made a bow and arrows, all on his own. Looking at his Rint arrowhead, the mother wondered how he had done it. "Maybe he knows that he was a stone and I swallowed him," she thought. "He must have a rock nature," The baby grew so fast that he was soon walking. His hair became long, and as he matured his mother became afraid that she would lose him as she had lost her brothers. She cried often, and though he did not ask why, he seemed to know. Very soon he was big enough to go hunting, and when she saw this, his mother wept more than ever. Stone Boy come into the tipi. "Mother, don't cry," he said. "You used to have five uncles," she said. "But they went out hunting. One after another, they did not come back." And she told him about his birth, how she had gone to the top of the hill and swallowed a stone, and how she had felt something moving inside her. "I know," he said. "And I am going to look for your brothers, my uncles." "But if you don't return," she sobbed, "what will I do?" "I will come back," he told her. "I will come back with my uncles. Stay in the tipi until I do." So the next morning Iyan Hokshi started walking and watching. He kept on till dusk, when he found a good place to sleep. He wandered for four days, and on the evening of the fourth day he smelled smoke. Iyan Hokshi, this Stone Boy, he followed the smell. It led him to a tipi with smoke coming from its smoke hole. This tipi was ugly and ramshackle. Inside Iyan Hokshi could see an old woman who was ugly too. She watched him pass and, calling him over, invited him to eat and, stay the night. Stone Boy went into the tipi, though he was uneasy in his mind, and a little timid. He looked around and saw nve big bundles, propped up on end, leaning against the tipi wall. And he wondered. The old woman was cooking some meat. When it was done he ate it, though it didn't taste good. Later she fixed a dirty old buffalo robe for him to sleep on, but he sensed danger and felt wide awake. "I have a backache," the woman said. "Before you go to sleep, I wish you would rub it for me by walking up and down my back. I am old and alone, and I have nobody to help with my pain." She lay down, and Stone Boy began walking on her back. As he did, he felt something sticking up under her buckskin robe, something sharp like a knife or a needle or the point of a spear. "Maybe she used this sharp tool to kill my uncles," he thought. "Maybe she put poison from a snake on its point. Yes, that must be so." Iyan Hokshi, having pondered, jumped high in the air, as high as he could, and came down on that old woman's back with a crash. He jumped and jumped until he was exhausted and the hag was lying dead with a broken back. Then Iyan Hokshi walked over to the big bundles, which were wrapped in animal hides and lashed together with rawhide thongs. He unwrapped them and found some men, dead and dried like jerked meat, hardly human-looking. "These must be my uncles," he thought, but he didn't know how to bring them back to life. Outside the ugly tipi was a heap of rocks, round gray stones. He found that they were talking and that he could understand them. "Iyan Hokshi, Stone Boy, you are one of us, you come from us, you come from Tunka, you come from Iyan. Listen; pay attention." Following their instructions, he built a little dome-like hut out of bent willow sticks. He covered it with the old woman's buffalo robes and put the dead, dried-up humans inside. Out in the open he built a big fire. He set the rocks right in the Bames, picked up the old woman, and threw her in to burn up. After the rocks glowed red-hot, Stone Boy found a deer antler and used it to carry them one by one into the little hut he had made. He picked up the old woman's water bag, a buffalo bladder decorated with quillwork, and filled it with water. He drew its rawhide tie tight and took it inside too. Then he placed the dried humans around him in a circle. Iyan Hokshi dosed the entrance of his little lodge with a Hap of buffalo robe, so that no air could escape or enter. Pouring water from the bag over them, he thanked the rocks, saying, "You brought me here." Four times he poured the water; four times he opened the Hap and closed it. Always he spoke to the rocks and they to him. As he poured, the little lodge filled with steam so that he could see nothing but the white mist in the darkness. Then he poured water a second time, he sensed a stirring. When he poured the third time, he began to sing. And when he poured the fourth time, those dead, dried-up things also began to sing and talk. "I believe they have come to life," thought Iyan Hokshi, the Stone Boy. "Now I want to see my uncles." He opened the Hap for the last time, watching the steam How out and rise into the sky as a feathery cloud. The bonfire and the moonlight both shone into the little sweat lodge, and by their light he saw five goodlooking young men sitting inside. He said, "Hou, lekshi, you must be my uncles." They smiled and laughed, happy to be alive again. Iyan Hokshi said, "This is what my mother-your sister-wanted. This is what she wished for." He also told them: "The rock saved me, and now it has saved you. Iyan, Tunka-rock-Tunka, Iyan. Tunkashila, the Grandfather Spirit, we will learn to worship. This little lodge, these rocks, the water, the fire-these are sacred, these we will use from now on as we have done here for the first time: for purification, for life, for wichosani, for health. All this has been given to us so that we may live. We shall be a tribe." -Told by Henry Crow Dog, February 26, 1968, at Rosebud, -------Note ------- Henry Crow Dog is a full-blooded Sioux elder with a majestic face, craggy as the Black Hills themselves. He is the grandson of the famous Crow Dog, a chief, warrior, and leader of the Ghost Dancers. The first Crow Dog once voluntarily drove 150 miles to his own hanging for killing his rival, Chief Spotted Tail, only to be freed on orders of the Supreme Court, which ruled that federal law had no jurisdiction on an Indian reservation. |
2023.05.28 00:34 CawfeePig Can I cook frozen chicken in the air fryer?
I have some thinly cut chicken breasts I usually cook fresh in the air fryer at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. They are currently in my freezer, and I've never cooked them from frozen before. Is this safe? How do I adjust the cooking time?
submitted by CawfeePig to airfryer [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 00:25 Wazootyman13 Doughboys, They're Just Like Me!
When Mitch started talking about his air fryer being recalled and briefly hesitated about mentioning the brand, I was like "Cosori. He has a Cosori air fryer."
Because last month I had to cut the cord on mine and take pictures.
And, when I was dropping it off at the electronics recycling center, I noticed a person in the car in front of me was also dropping off their Cosori air fryer as well (sans cord)
submitted by Wazootyman13 to doughboys [link] [comments]
Because last month I had to cut the cord on mine and take pictures.
And, when I was dropping it off at the electronics recycling center, I noticed a person in the car in front of me was also dropping off their Cosori air fryer as well (sans cord)
2023.05.28 00:25 PhesteringSoars [SF] Paige & Caroline (3,622 Words; 20,273 Characters)
“Now Paige, you’re sure there isn’t anything for me to sign?”, my mother asked.
“No mom. It’s ‘Bring your sibling to work day’. Caroline is 10 and old enough for the summer training, even though she can’t officially serve as an Imperial Page for two more years.”, I reply.
At 14 myself, I’ve been an Imperial Page for 2 years now. “I did the summer training.”, a month each, for two summers starting at 10, “I wanted to see if she might be interested serving as well.”
“I just don’t want her getting in someone important’s way.”, mother continues.
“She’ll be fine. The shuttle flights in/out off-world will be the most exciting part. ‘Court’ is currently in session on Tau Ceti 9a, with the Emperor himself at one of the orbital Space Stations. He’s overseeing rescue, recovery, and restoration operations dealing with the aftermath of the two recent super-typhoons on the planet. We’ll mostly be delivering snacks & meals and hand delivering documents and supplies all day. Routine stuff.”
“I just don’t want her to do something to upset the Emperor.”, mother said.
I reply, “He’s trying to help people in distress mom. People left with next to nothing. He’s just a man.”
Mother shakes her head and mumbles, “I worry about that too.”
I snort, “He wouldn’t do anything to us and the Sezrakeen (the Imperial Guard) wouldn’t allow it anyway.”
I remember something they told us in training . . . “Even if you see the Emperor in a room, seemingly by himself, two of the Sezrakeen are always there. Though they can be invisible, and you may not see them. One to protect him from evil in the world and one to protect the world from any evil in him.” No one in the Imperial Court has treated me badly.
Mother finally relents, cleans up after breakfast, and sees us off. We catch the community transit to the city-center, then on to Lacross Spaceport. One shuttle to the regional military base, then a shuttle combining many groups to go to / from wherever Court is in session at the current time.
With 7,645 inhabited worlds in the known multiverse, “Imperial Court” moves around every few months trying to spread the attention around. Currently there are 74 regional centers large enough to house the staff of the traveling court. 17 of which could be classified as “Palaces”. (Including “The Winter Palace” the Emperor build by himself, by hand on Beatrice Nine. It’s beautiful and one of my favorites to visit and serve in, though knowing he was abandoned alone on the planet for almost 40,000 years, time enough to build the central structures by himself . . . sort of brings a melancholy air to the place.)
Caroline and I arrive at R44 (the closest Regional Center), and I take her to Security while we wait for the morning shuttle. I scan my left forearm under the ID scanner. You can wear a ring, bracelet, pendent, or carry a card or pen-sized wand for ID . . . But I opted for the radial (bone) implant. It’s much harder to forget and leave your left arm at home. And since it registers body heat and blood flow, it can’t practically be taken from you and used by someone else. (I did “neglect” to tell my parents I opted for the implant 18 months ago.)
Caroline gets her biometrics recorded. (Photographs, walking gait, finger-hand prints. Reads a sample text for voice capture and a pinprick for DNA.) She opts for a subtle ring ID and asks me, “Why does it look like I’m the only sister or brother here?”
I respond, “It’s only you today. I just wanted you to see what a day was like in the Imperial Court.”
“What do you mean ‘only you’? Is it really ‘Bring your sibling to work day?’”
“As far as I know there is no such thing. I just wanted you to come and see the Emperor and the Court.”
“You’re just bringing someone to see the Emperor of the Known Multiverse and the Imperial Court? Who approved it?”
“I did.”
“You can do that?”
“An Imperial Page can do what they need to.”, I say as we finish her setup. Most of the biographical info (date of birth, relatives, placed lived) I entered to her personnel record weeks ago. I scan my ID and vouch for her to match the biometrics to the central data personnel record.
“Let’s go, the Shuttle will be ready for boarding about the time we get there.”, I put my left arm around Caroline’s shoulders and nudge her in the right direction.
Feeling the tenseness in her shoulders I ask, “Are you worried?”
“A little bit.”, she says with a bit shaky voice.
“Don’t. Just keep your ears open. Follow me and help me whatever I’m doing. Unless someone there directly addresses you, try not to interfere. You’ll hear things meant to be kept private. Try and let it flow in one ear and out the other without thinking about it or remembering it. Normally its boring procedural matters running the Empire. But for the past few weeks at this odd location there has been a lot of ‘sad news’ from the deaths, injuries, from the storms. It’s been turning around a bit. Back to more rebuilding hospitals, schools, city halls, and some factories. You can whisper me questions but try not to bother the others there. You’ll do fine.”
The morning shuttle we are on (of 6 per day cycling in/out wherever court is) arrives and docks with the station. The contents depart and scan past security checkpoints. Caroline her ring and me my forearm. Which leaves Caroline with a perplexed look. (I didn’t explain yet that the implant was an option, and she sees no ring on my hand.)
I lead Caroline past stationed guards, secretaries and administrators, dignitaries, and court personnel to one of the inner facility rooms. One of the court cooks sees me, points to a cart loaded with coffee and tea Thermos’s, water pitchers, cups, and an assortment of donuts, sweets, ‘breakfast things’, and says “Conference L2 Room 6a.”
I begin pushing the cart to the Lift for Level 2, room 6a. Caroline stays almost glued to my left hip. She’s being inordinately quiet. But then I remember what it was like for myself, only a few years ago.
More guards at the conference room recognize me and one holds the door as I push the cart in. One points at Caroline. I simply say, “Sister.” The guard nods.
Caroline and I spend the next 10 minutes distributing drinks and retrieving used cups/plates, and occasionally pulling my sister gently along by her arm. With over 7,000 inhabited planets and an average population of 2 billion, a good 80% of the 14 trillion in the known multiverse have seen images/video of the Emperor. But it’s quite another thing to pass by him close enough to touch for the first time. Not to mention Admirals, Generals, and dignitaries of all sorts around the conference table and outer ring chairs many with a dizzying array of medals, epaulets, and such.
She hands me things as I place them on the table. (So, if she spills anything, it’ll only get me, not a General) and I place them on the table.
I half listen as Admiral Burns shows video on the large screen at the end of the room and describes the current situation on the planet below.
“. . . Rescue operations have officially completed everywhere. Recovery (of human/animal remains) and final demolition of dangerous structures continue in the Rangor and Balok districts.
Next, I’ll go over how we plan to deploy Military-Imperial construction teams to begin assisting with infrastructure repair and restoration . . .”, as the Admiral’s aide works on a laptop on the conference table to bring up the next presentation.
An imperial aide I recognized pops their head in the end door and says, “Sire, message on F23.” The emperor says, “One second Admiral.”, and taps some keys on a tablet at his right hand.
The presentation clears on the end video screen and a woman dressed in what I’ll say is a doctor's white cloak appears on screen. Momentarily fazed upon seeing the Emperor himself, she stutters, “I uhh,”
The Emperor said, “Its fine Doctor. How can we help you?”
The woman tries to continue, “I, uhh. I’m sorry, I . . .”, closing her eyes for a second and opening, “I’m Doctor Akins on Brandenburg 2, Jellico City Memorial Hospital. I have a patient, Angela Graham. I’m afraid she’s had a heart attack and at her age of 97, I fear she won’t last more than a day or two, despite our best efforts. Her son a . . .”, looking down at a tablet she was holding, “. . . Captain Angus Graham was listed as family-emergency contact with instructions to call the Regional Base and explain any issues. I vid-called and two people later and I’ve somehow ended up with you.”, she adds hesitantly, “Sire”, not quite sure the proper form of address for the Emperor.
The Emperor responded, “He’s on station here with his Star Carrier the Perecles so they bounced you through to us. I’ll find him and let him know to go home. Thank you, Doctor Akins.”
The Doctor nods and the screen returns to the aide’s presentation slide.
Caroline and I had been clearing coffee cups and snack dishes from afternoon tea away from the conference table and were pushing the tray to the door to leave when the Emperor held up a hand towards us.
The Emperor asked aloud “Donna? (The computers name) Locate Captain Angus Graham”.
Donna: “Captain Angus Graham has just entered the Officers Lounge on Deck 23, at Bulkhead 41.”
The Emperor hand wrote a note on a sheet of paper, folded it in half, looked my way and said “Paige”.
Paige was an inconvenient name to have in my position, I was never quite sure if he knew my name and was saying Paige or just Page.
“You heard the location?”, the Emperor asked
Paige, “Yes sire.”
“Directly to Gus.”, the Emperor said, handing me the folded note.
I nodded.
Pushing the tray on through the door, I saw another page standing nearby and said, “Please.”, pointing to the tray and nodding to the closest kitchen. Thomas nodded and began pushing the tray in that direction.
We, Caroline and I, headed for the nearest Lift. (The multi-axis elevators that span the height and breadth of the station.) And I spoke tilting my head up a bit, “Deck 23, closest Bulkhead 41.”
“Deck 23, Bulkhead 42.”, the Lift responded.
The station bulkheads are about 50ft apart, so not that far to walk.
I opened the folded note and read it silently.
Caroline, still at my side and mostly silent since a flurry of questions when we stopped to have lunch, finally spoke inside the Lift, “Can you read the note?”
I responded, “An Imperial Page can do what they need to.”
We reached the Lift destination. I spoke to a nearby common terminal and said “Officers Lounge Deck 23, Bulkhead 41.”.
The terminal responded back, “The Mango Room. Light Blue”, simultaneously a Light Blue courtesy light appeared on the wall-track and began moving at a walking pace to the right.
Caroline and I followed the dot as it matched pace to lead us.
We reached The Mango Room double doors.
I tried the door handle but while it turned, the door didn’t unlatch. I tapped the “knock” button on the rightmost door.
A few seconds later a man about 40, with slicked back black hair and a pencil thin mustache appeared on the screen above the knock button. Seeing me, he only said, “Beat it kid. This is the Officers Lounge.”, and the screen went blank again.
I pressed the button again.
This time when he appeared, I spoke before the man could, “I am an Imperial Page with a message to be hand delivered to Captain Graham. I believe him to be inside.”
“I don’t give a fuck who you are ‘Little Girl’. Children aren’t allowed in here to bother the patrons. Get lost.”, the man sneers and clicks off again.
I turn and retrace steps to the Lift, Caroline following.
I tell the Lift, “Armory”.
Scanning arm ID at the doorway, we enter and I approach the wire cage behind which stands a man I have never seen before. I fill out a “request form” on the tablet nearby, tap it to and scan my ID to the nearby sensor.
The man looks at the list popping up on the screen on his side of the cage, “A bit young, aren’t you? Why don’t you try back in a couple years.”, snickering and turning back to his desk behind him.
Back out the Armory door, to the Lift and back to the conference room with the Emperor.
I enter, holding one palm back, indicating for Caroline to stay in the doorway of the room.
Saying nothing to anyone, I walked around to the left of the Emperor and pulled the Imperial Signet off the little finger of the Emperor’s left hand and placing it onto my right index finger, while he continued to ask questions about Engineering Group deployments on the planet below.
Outside the conference room, I pointed my index/middle finger in the direction of two Imperial Marine Guards on the distant side of the room, in self-contained fully body armor then motioned with a cupping hand a ‘follow me’ hand signal.
Four of us in the Lift this time.
Back at the armory. I held my right hand up in a fist, index finger with signet facing the clerk, then swept the signet over the ID reader and entered the Emperor’s personal 18 character passcode.
The display lit up on the clerk’s side of the cage . . .
Things moved much faster this time.
The Armory attendants fitted us both with PDS’s (Personal Defense Shields), I pointed at Caroline and said “Openers”.
One Armory tech clipped two breaching charges on Caroline's belt, as I reached for the thermal viewers and mid-sized carbine the other tech held.
Facing the two Marines that had accompanied us, I waved my left hand in their direction and said, “Released.” They turned and left.
The tech previously holding the carbine asked, “You know . . .”
I turned the side of the weapon towards him and said, “Kill/Stun”, clicking that lever to Stun pointed at a 2nd switch “Rate of Fire, Single, 3 shot burst, Full Auto”, and pointing to the last, “Power Setting”.
I turned to leave with Caroline in perpetual tow.
Caroline asked, “A gun?”
I responded, “The Power settings for Stun go from level 1 to 5. One would sting. Two feels like a dozen angry bees stung you with the pain fading over the next hour. Three might knock out a child. Four would definitely knock out ANY ordinary man/woman, unconscious for an hour or so. Five would stop a charging elephant and bring it to the ground for three or four hours.”
I click the carbine settings to Level Two . . . Full Auto.
Back at “The Mango Room” doors, I swatted Caroline with the back of my hand to see our PDS fields light up and confirm it on like mine, flipped down the thermal viewer over my eyes and look to see if anyone is standing directly behind the doors.
“Take one of the breaching pucks off your belt.”, holding my hand up as if I was carrying one on my fingertips, “Set the dial on the side to 2.”
I look down the hallways to the left and right. No one on the left. I hold up one flat palm and stop a group to the right in their tracks about 20 yards away.
Speaking to Caroline again, mimicking the motion I say, “Fling it towards the center-line between the two doors.”
She flings the puck, it self-orients to flat-on face the two doors.
A half inch from the doors it discharges. The central 90% of the doors vaporize and blow back past Caroline and me in a plume of smoke and wood-metal shards. Harmlessly skittering off and around our PDS’s.
Mustache man steps out from beside the doors and seeing me begins to approach. I aim the carbine at him and hold the trigger down moving the impact point around his body.
They shoot you once during page training at settings two and three. A single shot at level two hurt worse than anything I’d felt to that point in my life for the next hour. A week later when they did Three . . . I was out for an hour.
I can’t imagine 2 seconds of Full Auto felt pleasant as mustache man crumpled to the floor.
Officers and Civilian Dignitaries around the room stood up from their tables upon seeing/hearing the door breach.
I took the opportunity to step up from one of their chairs to a nearby table, trying to dodge drink glasses.
Addressing the room with a firm voice, “I am an Imperial Page. With a message from the Emperor for Captain Angus Graham. Captain Graham present yourself.”
The crowd somewhat parted as a man in his late 60’s answered, “Here Miss.”
Stepping down from the table/chair, slinging the rifle, and approaching Captain Graham, I didn’t remove the note, but chose simply to speak directly to the Captain.
“Gus”, (the Captain understood it was the Emperor speaking), “Word just came through and it seemed better to deliver it in person. Your mother has suffered a heart attack and we fear her time is near. If your responsibilities allow it, take my shuttle and go home while you still can. Spend what time you need with her. I’m very sorry old friend.”
The Captain responded softly to me, “Thank you John.”
I stepped back and to the side, using my right hand to wave Caroline back out of the way.
Captain Graham passed through the crowd, presumably to gather personal items and head home.
I, with Caroline following, turned to follow Captain Graham out.
The “very angry” bouncer was just getting up on one hip, trying to push himself up on one hand and yelled through clenched teeth, “Why you little Bit. . . ”
He didn’t finish the sentence. I clicked the gun up to level 4, single shot, pushing him back 3 feet, and pinning him to the wall. Unconscious for at least a couple hours this time.
Caroline and I returned to the armory, dropping off the Carbine, Thermals, PDSs, and one un-expended breaching puck. Signing them back in. Logging one puck as “expended”, and 0.2% down on the carbine charge.
Back in the Lift to return to the conference room, I notice out the corner of my eye, a still silent Caroline, looks over and up at me with a thousand questions on her face.
I continued looking forward at the Lift doors and said, “An Imperial Page can do what they need to.”
I reentered the conference room, Caroline still in tow. Walked around the Emperor to his left, lifting his left hand and placing the signet back on his little finger and whispered, “Thank you John.”
As a video of reconstruction projections continued on the vid-screen at the end of the room, the Emperor nodded to me, understanding the message was from Gus and after I had crossed around behind him, looked to his right and said, “Thank you Paige.”, nodding to my sister, “Caroline.”
Caroline, her eyes as big as dinner plates, half bowed, half curtsied, and we left the conference room.
I looked over at Caroline, “It’s been a long day for you. We can just catch the next shuttle back to R44 and home if we leave now.”
Off the local transport, our parents were just stepping out of their personal car. Dad had two grocery bags in each hand, mother had two in one hand and was reaching for the last one in the open trunk-hatch.
“You survived!”, she said teasingly, looking our direction.
“Yes mother.”, I said.
“Did anything interesting happen?”, she asked.
“No mother. It was just another ordinary day. Passing out coffee, meals, and delivering notes.”, I replied
Caroline picked up the last of the grocery bags from the car while mother closed the hatch.
“How about you nibblet?”, Father asked, stopping to look at Caroline, “Were you bored to tears? Do you think you might like to be a Page in two more years when you’re old enough? You’d have to go through the training classes for the next two summers like your sister did.”
“Yes father. I think I’d like that.”, and lead the way into the house.
Caroline sets the grocery bag on the kitchen table and moves into the living room to sit down on the sofa. She faced the vid-screen and clicks it on. One of the weekly shows is on about one or another of the nation’s larger zoo’s. But she’s got that “glazed over” thousand yard stare . . . That I probably had after my first day after seeing the Imperial Court.
I wonder to myself if she’ll follow in my footsteps. Someone, from somewhere will need to replace me in about two years. In theory you can stay an entire career as a page. Some do.
But in two years I’ll be sixteen. And with four years’ experience as an Imperial Page, I can begin training for a range of other jobs in the Imperial administration.
“Combat Courier” sounds interesting.
submitted by PhesteringSoars to shortstories [link] [comments]
“No mom. It’s ‘Bring your sibling to work day’. Caroline is 10 and old enough for the summer training, even though she can’t officially serve as an Imperial Page for two more years.”, I reply.
At 14 myself, I’ve been an Imperial Page for 2 years now. “I did the summer training.”, a month each, for two summers starting at 10, “I wanted to see if she might be interested serving as well.”
“I just don’t want her getting in someone important’s way.”, mother continues.
“She’ll be fine. The shuttle flights in/out off-world will be the most exciting part. ‘Court’ is currently in session on Tau Ceti 9a, with the Emperor himself at one of the orbital Space Stations. He’s overseeing rescue, recovery, and restoration operations dealing with the aftermath of the two recent super-typhoons on the planet. We’ll mostly be delivering snacks & meals and hand delivering documents and supplies all day. Routine stuff.”
“I just don’t want her to do something to upset the Emperor.”, mother said.
I reply, “He’s trying to help people in distress mom. People left with next to nothing. He’s just a man.”
Mother shakes her head and mumbles, “I worry about that too.”
I snort, “He wouldn’t do anything to us and the Sezrakeen (the Imperial Guard) wouldn’t allow it anyway.”
I remember something they told us in training . . . “Even if you see the Emperor in a room, seemingly by himself, two of the Sezrakeen are always there. Though they can be invisible, and you may not see them. One to protect him from evil in the world and one to protect the world from any evil in him.” No one in the Imperial Court has treated me badly.
Mother finally relents, cleans up after breakfast, and sees us off. We catch the community transit to the city-center, then on to Lacross Spaceport. One shuttle to the regional military base, then a shuttle combining many groups to go to / from wherever Court is in session at the current time.
With 7,645 inhabited worlds in the known multiverse, “Imperial Court” moves around every few months trying to spread the attention around. Currently there are 74 regional centers large enough to house the staff of the traveling court. 17 of which could be classified as “Palaces”. (Including “The Winter Palace” the Emperor build by himself, by hand on Beatrice Nine. It’s beautiful and one of my favorites to visit and serve in, though knowing he was abandoned alone on the planet for almost 40,000 years, time enough to build the central structures by himself . . . sort of brings a melancholy air to the place.)
Caroline and I arrive at R44 (the closest Regional Center), and I take her to Security while we wait for the morning shuttle. I scan my left forearm under the ID scanner. You can wear a ring, bracelet, pendent, or carry a card or pen-sized wand for ID . . . But I opted for the radial (bone) implant. It’s much harder to forget and leave your left arm at home. And since it registers body heat and blood flow, it can’t practically be taken from you and used by someone else. (I did “neglect” to tell my parents I opted for the implant 18 months ago.)
Caroline gets her biometrics recorded. (Photographs, walking gait, finger-hand prints. Reads a sample text for voice capture and a pinprick for DNA.) She opts for a subtle ring ID and asks me, “Why does it look like I’m the only sister or brother here?”
I respond, “It’s only you today. I just wanted you to see what a day was like in the Imperial Court.”
“What do you mean ‘only you’? Is it really ‘Bring your sibling to work day?’”
“As far as I know there is no such thing. I just wanted you to come and see the Emperor and the Court.”
“You’re just bringing someone to see the Emperor of the Known Multiverse and the Imperial Court? Who approved it?”
“I did.”
“You can do that?”
“An Imperial Page can do what they need to.”, I say as we finish her setup. Most of the biographical info (date of birth, relatives, placed lived) I entered to her personnel record weeks ago. I scan my ID and vouch for her to match the biometrics to the central data personnel record.
“Let’s go, the Shuttle will be ready for boarding about the time we get there.”, I put my left arm around Caroline’s shoulders and nudge her in the right direction.
Feeling the tenseness in her shoulders I ask, “Are you worried?”
“A little bit.”, she says with a bit shaky voice.
“Don’t. Just keep your ears open. Follow me and help me whatever I’m doing. Unless someone there directly addresses you, try not to interfere. You’ll hear things meant to be kept private. Try and let it flow in one ear and out the other without thinking about it or remembering it. Normally its boring procedural matters running the Empire. But for the past few weeks at this odd location there has been a lot of ‘sad news’ from the deaths, injuries, from the storms. It’s been turning around a bit. Back to more rebuilding hospitals, schools, city halls, and some factories. You can whisper me questions but try not to bother the others there. You’ll do fine.”
The morning shuttle we are on (of 6 per day cycling in/out wherever court is) arrives and docks with the station. The contents depart and scan past security checkpoints. Caroline her ring and me my forearm. Which leaves Caroline with a perplexed look. (I didn’t explain yet that the implant was an option, and she sees no ring on my hand.)
I lead Caroline past stationed guards, secretaries and administrators, dignitaries, and court personnel to one of the inner facility rooms. One of the court cooks sees me, points to a cart loaded with coffee and tea Thermos’s, water pitchers, cups, and an assortment of donuts, sweets, ‘breakfast things’, and says “Conference L2 Room 6a.”
I begin pushing the cart to the Lift for Level 2, room 6a. Caroline stays almost glued to my left hip. She’s being inordinately quiet. But then I remember what it was like for myself, only a few years ago.
More guards at the conference room recognize me and one holds the door as I push the cart in. One points at Caroline. I simply say, “Sister.” The guard nods.
Caroline and I spend the next 10 minutes distributing drinks and retrieving used cups/plates, and occasionally pulling my sister gently along by her arm. With over 7,000 inhabited planets and an average population of 2 billion, a good 80% of the 14 trillion in the known multiverse have seen images/video of the Emperor. But it’s quite another thing to pass by him close enough to touch for the first time. Not to mention Admirals, Generals, and dignitaries of all sorts around the conference table and outer ring chairs many with a dizzying array of medals, epaulets, and such.
She hands me things as I place them on the table. (So, if she spills anything, it’ll only get me, not a General) and I place them on the table.
I half listen as Admiral Burns shows video on the large screen at the end of the room and describes the current situation on the planet below.
“. . . Rescue operations have officially completed everywhere. Recovery (of human/animal remains) and final demolition of dangerous structures continue in the Rangor and Balok districts.
Next, I’ll go over how we plan to deploy Military-Imperial construction teams to begin assisting with infrastructure repair and restoration . . .”, as the Admiral’s aide works on a laptop on the conference table to bring up the next presentation.
An imperial aide I recognized pops their head in the end door and says, “Sire, message on F23.” The emperor says, “One second Admiral.”, and taps some keys on a tablet at his right hand.
The presentation clears on the end video screen and a woman dressed in what I’ll say is a doctor's white cloak appears on screen. Momentarily fazed upon seeing the Emperor himself, she stutters, “I uhh,”
The Emperor said, “Its fine Doctor. How can we help you?”
The woman tries to continue, “I, uhh. I’m sorry, I . . .”, closing her eyes for a second and opening, “I’m Doctor Akins on Brandenburg 2, Jellico City Memorial Hospital. I have a patient, Angela Graham. I’m afraid she’s had a heart attack and at her age of 97, I fear she won’t last more than a day or two, despite our best efforts. Her son a . . .”, looking down at a tablet she was holding, “. . . Captain Angus Graham was listed as family-emergency contact with instructions to call the Regional Base and explain any issues. I vid-called and two people later and I’ve somehow ended up with you.”, she adds hesitantly, “Sire”, not quite sure the proper form of address for the Emperor.
The Emperor responded, “He’s on station here with his Star Carrier the Perecles so they bounced you through to us. I’ll find him and let him know to go home. Thank you, Doctor Akins.”
The Doctor nods and the screen returns to the aide’s presentation slide.
Caroline and I had been clearing coffee cups and snack dishes from afternoon tea away from the conference table and were pushing the tray to the door to leave when the Emperor held up a hand towards us.
The Emperor asked aloud “Donna? (The computers name) Locate Captain Angus Graham”.
Donna: “Captain Angus Graham has just entered the Officers Lounge on Deck 23, at Bulkhead 41.”
The Emperor hand wrote a note on a sheet of paper, folded it in half, looked my way and said “Paige”.
Paige was an inconvenient name to have in my position, I was never quite sure if he knew my name and was saying Paige or just Page.
“You heard the location?”, the Emperor asked
Paige, “Yes sire.”
“Directly to Gus.”, the Emperor said, handing me the folded note.
I nodded.
Pushing the tray on through the door, I saw another page standing nearby and said, “Please.”, pointing to the tray and nodding to the closest kitchen. Thomas nodded and began pushing the tray in that direction.
We, Caroline and I, headed for the nearest Lift. (The multi-axis elevators that span the height and breadth of the station.) And I spoke tilting my head up a bit, “Deck 23, closest Bulkhead 41.”
“Deck 23, Bulkhead 42.”, the Lift responded.
The station bulkheads are about 50ft apart, so not that far to walk.
I opened the folded note and read it silently.
Caroline, still at my side and mostly silent since a flurry of questions when we stopped to have lunch, finally spoke inside the Lift, “Can you read the note?”
I responded, “An Imperial Page can do what they need to.”
We reached the Lift destination. I spoke to a nearby common terminal and said “Officers Lounge Deck 23, Bulkhead 41.”.
The terminal responded back, “The Mango Room. Light Blue”, simultaneously a Light Blue courtesy light appeared on the wall-track and began moving at a walking pace to the right.
Caroline and I followed the dot as it matched pace to lead us.
We reached The Mango Room double doors.
I tried the door handle but while it turned, the door didn’t unlatch. I tapped the “knock” button on the rightmost door.
A few seconds later a man about 40, with slicked back black hair and a pencil thin mustache appeared on the screen above the knock button. Seeing me, he only said, “Beat it kid. This is the Officers Lounge.”, and the screen went blank again.
I pressed the button again.
This time when he appeared, I spoke before the man could, “I am an Imperial Page with a message to be hand delivered to Captain Graham. I believe him to be inside.”
“I don’t give a fuck who you are ‘Little Girl’. Children aren’t allowed in here to bother the patrons. Get lost.”, the man sneers and clicks off again.
I turn and retrace steps to the Lift, Caroline following.
I tell the Lift, “Armory”.
Scanning arm ID at the doorway, we enter and I approach the wire cage behind which stands a man I have never seen before. I fill out a “request form” on the tablet nearby, tap it to and scan my ID to the nearby sensor.
The man looks at the list popping up on the screen on his side of the cage, “A bit young, aren’t you? Why don’t you try back in a couple years.”, snickering and turning back to his desk behind him.
Back out the Armory door, to the Lift and back to the conference room with the Emperor.
I enter, holding one palm back, indicating for Caroline to stay in the doorway of the room.
Saying nothing to anyone, I walked around to the left of the Emperor and pulled the Imperial Signet off the little finger of the Emperor’s left hand and placing it onto my right index finger, while he continued to ask questions about Engineering Group deployments on the planet below.
Outside the conference room, I pointed my index/middle finger in the direction of two Imperial Marine Guards on the distant side of the room, in self-contained fully body armor then motioned with a cupping hand a ‘follow me’ hand signal.
Four of us in the Lift this time.
Back at the armory. I held my right hand up in a fist, index finger with signet facing the clerk, then swept the signet over the ID reader and entered the Emperor’s personal 18 character passcode.
The display lit up on the clerk’s side of the cage . . .
Things moved much faster this time.
The Armory attendants fitted us both with PDS’s (Personal Defense Shields), I pointed at Caroline and said “Openers”.
One Armory tech clipped two breaching charges on Caroline's belt, as I reached for the thermal viewers and mid-sized carbine the other tech held.
Facing the two Marines that had accompanied us, I waved my left hand in their direction and said, “Released.” They turned and left.
The tech previously holding the carbine asked, “You know . . .”
I turned the side of the weapon towards him and said, “Kill/Stun”, clicking that lever to Stun pointed at a 2nd switch “Rate of Fire, Single, 3 shot burst, Full Auto”, and pointing to the last, “Power Setting”.
I turned to leave with Caroline in perpetual tow.
Caroline asked, “A gun?”
I responded, “The Power settings for Stun go from level 1 to 5. One would sting. Two feels like a dozen angry bees stung you with the pain fading over the next hour. Three might knock out a child. Four would definitely knock out ANY ordinary man/woman, unconscious for an hour or so. Five would stop a charging elephant and bring it to the ground for three or four hours.”
I click the carbine settings to Level Two . . . Full Auto.
Back at “The Mango Room” doors, I swatted Caroline with the back of my hand to see our PDS fields light up and confirm it on like mine, flipped down the thermal viewer over my eyes and look to see if anyone is standing directly behind the doors.
“Take one of the breaching pucks off your belt.”, holding my hand up as if I was carrying one on my fingertips, “Set the dial on the side to 2.”
I look down the hallways to the left and right. No one on the left. I hold up one flat palm and stop a group to the right in their tracks about 20 yards away.
Speaking to Caroline again, mimicking the motion I say, “Fling it towards the center-line between the two doors.”
She flings the puck, it self-orients to flat-on face the two doors.
A half inch from the doors it discharges. The central 90% of the doors vaporize and blow back past Caroline and me in a plume of smoke and wood-metal shards. Harmlessly skittering off and around our PDS’s.
Mustache man steps out from beside the doors and seeing me begins to approach. I aim the carbine at him and hold the trigger down moving the impact point around his body.
They shoot you once during page training at settings two and three. A single shot at level two hurt worse than anything I’d felt to that point in my life for the next hour. A week later when they did Three . . . I was out for an hour.
I can’t imagine 2 seconds of Full Auto felt pleasant as mustache man crumpled to the floor.
Officers and Civilian Dignitaries around the room stood up from their tables upon seeing/hearing the door breach.
I took the opportunity to step up from one of their chairs to a nearby table, trying to dodge drink glasses.
Addressing the room with a firm voice, “I am an Imperial Page. With a message from the Emperor for Captain Angus Graham. Captain Graham present yourself.”
The crowd somewhat parted as a man in his late 60’s answered, “Here Miss.”
Stepping down from the table/chair, slinging the rifle, and approaching Captain Graham, I didn’t remove the note, but chose simply to speak directly to the Captain.
“Gus”, (the Captain understood it was the Emperor speaking), “Word just came through and it seemed better to deliver it in person. Your mother has suffered a heart attack and we fear her time is near. If your responsibilities allow it, take my shuttle and go home while you still can. Spend what time you need with her. I’m very sorry old friend.”
The Captain responded softly to me, “Thank you John.”
I stepped back and to the side, using my right hand to wave Caroline back out of the way.
Captain Graham passed through the crowd, presumably to gather personal items and head home.
I, with Caroline following, turned to follow Captain Graham out.
The “very angry” bouncer was just getting up on one hip, trying to push himself up on one hand and yelled through clenched teeth, “Why you little Bit. . . ”
He didn’t finish the sentence. I clicked the gun up to level 4, single shot, pushing him back 3 feet, and pinning him to the wall. Unconscious for at least a couple hours this time.
Caroline and I returned to the armory, dropping off the Carbine, Thermals, PDSs, and one un-expended breaching puck. Signing them back in. Logging one puck as “expended”, and 0.2% down on the carbine charge.
Back in the Lift to return to the conference room, I notice out the corner of my eye, a still silent Caroline, looks over and up at me with a thousand questions on her face.
I continued looking forward at the Lift doors and said, “An Imperial Page can do what they need to.”
I reentered the conference room, Caroline still in tow. Walked around the Emperor to his left, lifting his left hand and placing the signet back on his little finger and whispered, “Thank you John.”
As a video of reconstruction projections continued on the vid-screen at the end of the room, the Emperor nodded to me, understanding the message was from Gus and after I had crossed around behind him, looked to his right and said, “Thank you Paige.”, nodding to my sister, “Caroline.”
Caroline, her eyes as big as dinner plates, half bowed, half curtsied, and we left the conference room.
I looked over at Caroline, “It’s been a long day for you. We can just catch the next shuttle back to R44 and home if we leave now.”
Off the local transport, our parents were just stepping out of their personal car. Dad had two grocery bags in each hand, mother had two in one hand and was reaching for the last one in the open trunk-hatch.
“You survived!”, she said teasingly, looking our direction.
“Yes mother.”, I said.
“Did anything interesting happen?”, she asked.
“No mother. It was just another ordinary day. Passing out coffee, meals, and delivering notes.”, I replied
Caroline picked up the last of the grocery bags from the car while mother closed the hatch.
“How about you nibblet?”, Father asked, stopping to look at Caroline, “Were you bored to tears? Do you think you might like to be a Page in two more years when you’re old enough? You’d have to go through the training classes for the next two summers like your sister did.”
“Yes father. I think I’d like that.”, and lead the way into the house.
Caroline sets the grocery bag on the kitchen table and moves into the living room to sit down on the sofa. She faced the vid-screen and clicks it on. One of the weekly shows is on about one or another of the nation’s larger zoo’s. But she’s got that “glazed over” thousand yard stare . . . That I probably had after my first day after seeing the Imperial Court.
I wonder to myself if she’ll follow in my footsteps. Someone, from somewhere will need to replace me in about two years. In theory you can stay an entire career as a page. Some do.
But in two years I’ll be sixteen. And with four years’ experience as an Imperial Page, I can begin training for a range of other jobs in the Imperial administration.
“Combat Courier” sounds interesting.