New ulm medical center urgent care

Food for health and healthy cooking

2010.02.03 15:03 ipit2007 Food for health and healthy cooking

healthy food, is a subreddit for civil discussion of specified foods which might be deemed "healthy". To ensure quality content, spam and promotion are highly restricted in this sub
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2009.08.08 18:08 blueblank asktransgender: questions and comments

Transgender questions; transgender answers.
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2010.08.02 08:17 phyzome Lyme Disease (and related tick-borne infections)

For articles and discussion of Lyme and other tick-borne diseases.
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2023.05.28 08:32 paigeturner13 I yelled at my exhusband and his girlfriend in front of my son

Okay... so... I am divorced (officially since 2021, but separated since 2018) with an AMAZING 9-year-old child with autism whom I take care of a large portion of the time. Until the past year his father lived in another city, and then state. He is a heavy equipment operator but claims he can't find work in our large oil field-based city which will make him enough money to pay his bills and pay us. (He pays us $440 a week but that includes spousal support which ends in 2 years... I got screwed in the divorce) Until the past year he has never utilized full amount of visitation time. He would come and take his son about once every 3 to 4 weeks for 1-3 days at a time. Before the past year, and primarily the last 6 months, he has never participated in my sons doctors appts., School activities, or ARD meetings(iep planning for special needs chuldren.) Since January of this year he has started "being more involved".. has been a part of 1 psychiatrist appt. and has decided.. even though he sees him child for 24 hours every other weekend.. that the medication my son is currently on is not good for him. He says it causes "jerking motions".. ( yeah... those are from being nervous and having autism.. that happens more when a child with autism is out of routine or in a new or uncommon environment.) He told the Dr that the reason my son had to be moved from the asip program to the Life Skills class is because of this medication.. which..was a very difficult decision made along with his teachers but was made after 2 years in the asip program where he was throwing tantrums everyday and very unhappy. (He is doing very well in the Life Skills class now!) My ex is very hard in general to communicate with. He is a narcissist who I don't believe genuinely loves my son. He let's his girlfriend take over their video chats often and he rarely speaks to him as it is. I have a handful of time lost my cool with them. I am exhausted by this obvious lack of caring and selfishness. They fight me on everything and blame me for everything. Everything is a fight. She is 22 by the wayhe is 38. He was very emotionally abusive, total covert narc. I felt bad for her at first. Thought maybe she just was fooled by him like I was.. and maybe she is.. on some level she has to be.. but she goes out of her way to make sure I know she is there. At drop offs and pickups she will physically stand between my ex and myself. When I put my son in a special needs baseball league, she was on the field with both of us and would repeat everything I said to my son to him as if to say I am the Mom too I can do your job. I would love this if it seemed genuine... but it doesn't. They have made it very clear they want custody. They think they will get money for my son because he had special needs. I haven't gotten any yet but eventually hopefully I will. I am so tired and angry at myself because I am afraid they will use these time where I have gotten so angry at this lack of love for my son that I have yelled not obscenities but said things like "he is trying to talk to his Dad, not you," etc. I am scared he is going to use this to take my son from me. I am a really good Mom. And I love my baby so much. I have a hearing coming up for "motion to enforce divorce decree" in July and I am terrified. I know I am a good Mom but I also know how slimy he is. There is soooo much history here. He signed over the rights to his first child when I was pregnant with my son... (I found out a lot of things about his life after it was too late.. we were bound for life.. even though alot of the things he did I disagreed with at the time but what could I do?!) I had to try to make it work for my son. And I did for a long time. Can he say this is abuse of my child if I yell at his girlfriend on video chat? I would think yes... they both manage to stay calm. It is easy to stay calm when you have no emotion in the game.
submitted by paigeturner13 to custodywithnarc [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 08:28 JazzyJukebox69420 I'm the worst version of myself, really need advice.

Alright, I’m not super sure how to start this so I’m going to start with giving some background. I don’t want this to sound braggy or like I’m jerking myself off so sorry if it comes out that way but I think the context is pretty important to understand my position. This is gonna get pretty specific so I hope I don’t out myself too much to my anyone who might know me. I’m a 22 year old engineering (rising senior undergraduate) student at a small college (and one of the best colleges for engineering in the US). For reference, all of my classmates are absolutely brilliant and the school is a STEM college. This gets important later on. I am really passionate about computer science, engineering, and natural science and I want to start a company when I graduate that does some sort of innovative work in these fields. I’m also a musician and I write, record, and release music in a few genres. I’ve made a bit of a business out of the music that I make and the playlists that I use to promote my own music. It’s basically my biggest and most consistent stream of income. I play a bunch of different instruments (guitar, bass guitar, upright bass, piano, violin, ukulele, drums, and now cello) and I sing. I don’t really play any of the instruments exceptionally well but I can play them well enough for my needs. Also, I’m in an acapella group and sometimes in choir and I occasionally gig with other bands on campus. I’m also really into travel and photography. I took a year off of school during COVID and I visited a ton of national parks, I think I’ve visited somewhere around 30. I’m also really into photography and I’ve been trying to make a small business out of that as well. For a last tad bit of background, I grew up low-income and was entirely self motivated. I just lived with my mom who didn’t know anything about college and frankly just wanted me to get a job throughout most of high-school. Everything I accomplished it was out of sheer drive and personal discipline. In high school I had exceptional grades, a ton of amazing friends, and was in a serious romantic relationship that gave me a lot of meaning. My goal was to go to get into a good college and get a scholarship so that I could afford to give my future children things that I never could have. At the end of high school, my goals got as lofty as they could be and I felt secure in who I was and what I was doing. For a tiny bit more added context I’m taking antidepressants, ADHD medication, and anti-anxiety medication which has actually helped a lot. The one place that I’ve improved as a person seems to be mental health. I also don’t drink or do any kinds of drugs, although I don’t think anything is wrong with doing them, I know I have a very addictive personality and family issues with these things so I chose not to. I’m only mentioning this so you know it’s not part of the issue. But since I’ve started college (in 2019) I’ve made no progress towards my goals or aspirations, I’ve learned almost nothing, I prioritize nothing of value when you look at how I spend my time, I have no mastery over myself or my surroundings. I’m somehow floating on what is honestly a fabricated layer of understanding. I understand nothing in my classes, and I just do the bare minimum in every aspect of my life besides music. Somehow I pass my classes. My grades range from C-s to As, I have around a 3.0 GPA. Not great, but not as bad as it *should be* (based on my actual level of knowledge and understanding). I think part of my problem is that I know how much I can *get away with* without failing or destroying my grades. But I never take the time to learn the material. One of the worst parts is that I find all of the subject matter to be either important, interesting, or both…. And yet my behavior shows me that I don’t really feel that way. I don’t understand why. Throughout half of my college career, I’ve slept though many of my early classes, sometimes missing most of my classes because of some lame excuse I had. I never really *wake up* I’m just either asleep, half-awake in bed, and then eventually I’m out of bed and awake. My alarm at this point means basically nothing to me. Once I’m up, I either do some work that’s non-important and non-urgent or go to class. When I actually am in class, I end up getting distracted on my computer. If I don’t bring my computer I start by trying to focus and then I gradually allow myself not to focus at all. I end up almost learning nothing, and when I do start to try, I feel incredibly stupid. I don’t feel like I understand any of the concepts that are being thrown at me but I know that I *should* because (for the most part) none of them are actually that hard! This is in huge contrast to high school, where I woke up very early to my first alarm, shaved, showered, and got ready in the morning, then went to school for some 7 hours, then I went home, took a half hour break, then did homework until 1 or 2 in the morning. I got very little sleep but other than that I was doing well academically and was very motivated, despite struggling with mental health issues. I’ve been told that it’s burnout but I disagree. I may be wrong but if it is— what’s actually causing the burnout?? Oversleeping then half-stressing about my assignments? Here are the things that I try and accomplish during my time at school: - School (pass all my classes and take classes that I’m interested in/find useful) - Social - Participate in activities on campus that seem fun - Hang out with friends - Spend time with my partner - Go on dates - Music: - Produce and release music - Promote said music - Write new music (15 min - 1 hr daily) - Practice instrument(s) (15m-1 hr daily) - Rehearse (roughly 5 hours weekly) with my acapella group - Photography: - Take photos for the school at times - Travel to nearby parks and take photos - Edit photos - Do astrophotography - Physical health - Strength Training (at least 15 min daily) - Cardio (1 mile daily) - Stretch training (5 min daily) - Financial health - Save money - Make money (w/music business) - Goals - Work on my startup (like 30min- 2 hours per week) And honesty, yeah that’s probably a lot. A lot of people say it’s too much, but I’ve seen my classmates do it, and do *all of it* better than me, and I understand how. I see how much time I waste— and it’s a lot. How do I stop? And if your advice is to cut something out— what do I cut out?? Do I remove the things that I love? Or the things that are meaningful to my long-term goals? I don’t see one thing in here that would be safe to eliminate. Here are some big issues that I’ve been really struggling with: - Gaining too much weight - Eat when bored and not hungry - Sleep too much - Don’t wake up to my alarm - I’ve tried alarm apps, I make the conscious decision to go back to bed every morning despite walking 500 steps to turn my alarm off!! - Accomplish less in more time - Friends don’t seem to value me - Little to no self control - Extremely lazy - Always put in the bare minimum - I don’t learn - I’m getting my entire massive tuition paid by financial aid and I honestly can’t say I’ve learned anything value - I learned very well in high school - I went home and studied and got very little sleep, was in orchestra, in jazz, and in a band on top of writing and recording my own music - Lost my DRIVE and I don’t know why - I don’t look forward to much because I’m ashamed of where I’m at - I have very little motivation to do anything beyond the bare minimum in everything - I don’t prioritize the urgent OR the important well - I just do what I *need to* - I spend my time really poorly. When I have free time I don’t use it to have fun OR to be truly productive - I spend time not working and not having fun or relaxing - I don’t spend as much time with friends as I should - I don’t study as much as or when I should - I don’t work on my music as much or when I should - I don’t even play games or video games - I don’t relax when I should or *how* I should - I often take a nap for “just 30 minutes” which ends up taking half my day… hours and hours… In contrast, I was a better person in EVERY way when I was 16. Currently, I find myself: 1. Struggling as a student, with a noticeable decline in academic performance, and more importantly— LEARNING LESS THAN HIGH SCHOOL 2. Feeling inadequate as a partner, failing to put in the effort to nurture my relationship. 3. Struggling to wake up on time, repeatedly snoozing my alarm and compromising my productivity. 4. Having an unhealthy diet, consistently making poor food choices. 5. Becoming a less supportive friend, neglecting meaningful connections with those close to me, reaching out, texting and calling less 6. Experiencing a decrease in my social circle, resulting in fewer friendships. 7. Making minimal progress towards my goals, lacking the drive and determination to succeed. 8. Struggling to maintain positive habits, finding it difficult to establish and stick to routines. 9. Facing challenges when it comes to learning, feeling like I'm not absorbing information effectively. 10. Perceiving a decline in my athletic abilities, which is both surprising and disheartening. I find myself at my worst because: 1. Lack of focus: I struggle to maintain concentration and often choose not to focus. 2. Strained friendships: I have become a worse friend, neglecting gestures like gift-giving and meaningful quality time. 3. Declining social engagement: I prioritize less in-depth communication, barely making time for calls or outings with friends. 4. Lack of meaningful self-expression: Aside from occasional jokes, I fail to share my life in a meaningful way. 5. Regretful use of time: I realize I have wasted precious moments while important people in my life are moving on. 6. Academic decline: I am now a horrible student, rarely attending classes and lacking focus when I do. 7. Poor academic performance: I don't understand or actively pursue a grasp of course concepts, resulting in minimal learning. 8. Last-minute approach: I habitually leave assignments until the eleventh hour, resulting in superficial comprehension. 9. Unmerited extensions: I constantly request extensions without valid reasons, undermining my integrity. 10. Failure to learn: Despite attending a top-tier school, I feel like I've learned nothing over the past three years. 11. Sleep struggles: Snoozing my alarm for hours has become a daily routine, negatively impacting my health and productivity. 12. Disrupted sleep patterns: My oversleeping contributes to a lack of structure in starting my day and affects my well-being. 13. Relationship shortcomings: Though my partner loves me, I acknowledge that I have not fulfilled their needs in our relationship. 14. Neglected effort: I no longer plan dates or create thoughtful gifts as I used to, failing to prioritize quality time. 15. Physical decline: Surprisingly, I have also experienced a decline in athletic performance and overall fitness. 16. Unhealthy habits: I've gained weight and developed unhealthy eating patterns, often eating when not hungry. 17. Abandoned exercise routine: Despite initially committing to regular gym visits and running, I have completely stopped. 18. Lack of progress: My fitness levels have plateaued, and I haven't seen any improvement in my strength or endurance. 19. Wasting time: I squander countless moments without studying, being productive, enjoying myself, or nurturing relationships. 20. Lost sense of purpose: I struggle to identify what I am doing with my time, neglecting important areas of my life. 21. I feel stupid, which hurts a lot because I definitely think I’m less intelligent than I was in high school To top all of it off, I don’t feel like my few remaining best friends really value me. A lot of them graduated recently and one of them honestly told me “I noticed that a lot of the time people on the trip didn’t value your input or what you felt… with your senior year, find people who value you.” And it hurt, because I was feeling that way the whole time I was on the trip with them. What did I do to cause this? I used to love myself, I was depressed and anxious but I used to REALLY love myself. I was proud of who I was. Now when I look at myself, I’m ashamed of what I’ve become. And the worst part is I really know that younger me would be beyond disappointed in every way. I understand incremental improvement and all that but I can’t make my life better at all! I try developing habits only to ditch them a few days in. Why? What’s wrong with me? I know change is possible, but where do I begin?
submitted by JazzyJukebox69420 to Advice [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 08:25 cerebral_grooves Could use some resources

I'm at the point where the new ailments keel stacking up. Now I can't breathe. No one believes me. But I will go to the er in a couple days because the rest of the system has failed me. Pcp pushes healthy diet and depression pills. Neurologist hopefully help someone because they don't care about me. Went to urgent care and they were amazing. Did everything they could do but as they said. They are there to get ya in and out on a fast heal. It's really just pcps that don't dp there job.
I will not live a cursed half life. I'll kill myself soon. But I'm going to keep trying. ER is a last resort.
I can't breath. How can you survive when you can't breathe and the pcp just keeps saying "we will know when it gets worse.
submitted by cerebral_grooves to disability [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 08:18 AlexSciChannel My personal rewrite of the Infinity Castle arc - Part 1

For the record. It is an amazing arc and croc-sensei did spectacularly on it. I just think it didn't reach its peak potential. Structurally I think some of the battles should be reorganized. In my rewrite most of the arc will stay the same, though there will be new sequences and new characters.
Hashira training arc preemptive rewrites:
In order for my Infinity castle rewrite to work I'll have to add a character that's introduced in this training arc. Though the rewrites here aren't that extensive so it's just a small section.
First off, I didn't like how the Demon Slayer corps didn't even attempt to fill in the empty spots for Hashira left behind by Kyojuro and Tengen. So here I am introducing a new character that is going to be Rengoku's former Tsuguko and now the current Flame Hashira as she has replaced Rengoku after his death. I don't wanna put too much thought into names or this will come off as fanfiction so I'll just call her Yurei for convenience sake.
The basic character profile is that she was student under Kyojuro after he saved her from a Demon that killed her family yada yada. She always lived in the shadow of her fellow senior disciple-mate Mitsuri Kanroji who was also a student of Kyojuro's and originally the first pick to be his Tsuguko. That was until Mitsuri decided she wanted to be a Hashira herself and entered the ranks without replacing anyone. So the Tsuguko position fell to Yurei being the second choice for Rengoku's succession. So there's a bit of jealousy between this new character has Mitsuri.
She is teaches one of the rounds of the Hashira training that takes place before Mitsuri. It focuses on [insert cool anime martial art aspect here]. The point here is that Tanjiro isn't liked by the new Hashira and is purposefully and unfairly withholding him from progressing to the next round. Stemming from jealousy that Tanjiro was there in Rengoku's last moments and she felt like he valued him more as an apprentice despite never officially being his master. The goal here for Tanjiro would be to resolve this inferiority complex and show that Tanjiro is just a nice dude that doesn't want to steal other people's mentors.
She stops hating on Tanjiro but tells him to make sure he completes Mitsuri's training round faster than he did her's to prove her regimen is more difficult that Mitsuri's. That's it for Hashira training.
Muzan's conversation with Kagaya Ubuyashiki Rewrite:
This entire scene in the Infinity Castle arc I thought was perfection and really no need for changes. This is simply my alternative version that includes some cool ideas. So if you don't want to hear it and just want to see my rewrites for things I thought could be improved, you can skip this section.
So my alternative for this scene keeps basically all the dialogue in the exact same way it was depicted in the manga but has a new scene after it. Instead of Kagaya kamikazing his own home, he unsheathes a family heirloom sword with a pitch-white blade. Now I know what you're thinking. Kagaya isn't a fighter, and that's part of his charm that you don't need to be physically strong to be a good leader. But hear this out.
I am going by logic that since the Ubuyashiki family were the first victims of the Demon scourge and leaders of Demon Slayers, it would be hard to believe they didn't have any in family defenses. In my rewrite I have them be the progenitors of a new type of breathing, Light breathing.
This breathing style has 15 forms total, second most behind Moon breathing, and not a single one of these forms are used for attack. Yep, heard that right. In this rewrite, Light breathing is an evolved version of basic recovery breathing utilized to its maximum potential. In the lore it would've been used for seemingly inhuman feats of healing and regeneration from physical trauma and disease. It would also make sense that this style would be created by the Ubuyashiki family during efforts to find ways to mitigate their curse. And although it has no effect of canceling out curses or magics, Kagaya uses it to temporarily heal the physical effects of his curse.
Thinking Kagaya wants to fight, Muzan instantly unleashes a fury of attacks. And this scene we get to see full destructive utilization of all Muzan's blood demon arts, not limited by any poisons or miracle medicines procured by Tamayo yet. Kagaya doesn't attack, but instead, in his new temporary healthy state, uses Light breathing to deflect attacks, continuously mend wounds, and temporarily blind/stun Muzan. Kagaya won't throw a single attack the entire fight, thus preserving his Buddha like nature.
In reality, the confrontation is to stall for time until the demon slayers arrive. Using his mystical foresight, Kagaya skillfully calculates how to evade each of Muzan's destructive attacks. Muzan realizes this and thus procures situations where even if Kagaya can forsee different ways of how he evades in the future, all options will involve him being fataly injured. But even after he is gravely mutilated by Muzan's attacks, the Light breathing forms he uses in response heals all wounds and poisons completely.
Another fact about Light breathing is that, the breathing method itself is derived from Wisteria plants' respiration and transpiration of chemicals. So in a sense it mimics the qualities of Wisteria. Thus including another added affect. Any demon in close proximity of someone using Light breathing has their Blood Demon Arts temporarily weakened at an exponential level and so is their regeneration slowed down massively. This comes into play when Kagaya thinks he's stalled enough and then detonates his house, killing him and his family. Muzan doesn't die but since he regenerates almost instantly, it was essential to be in proximity to the Light breathing so Tamayo could have time to insert the medicine and give the Hashira an advantage.
The sequence of events immediately before and during entering the Infinity Castle stays the same.
First Round Infinity Castle Battles - Shinobu vs Douma Zenitsu vs Kaigaku:
Nothing changes from the manga. Perfection. Just think, it should be more apparent that they take place semi-simaltaneously.
Second Round Infinity Castle Battles - Tanjiro & Giyu vs Akaza Urokodaki, Tengen Uzui, Shinjuro, & Nezuko vs Jigoku Uzui (New Upper Moon 5):
The events of the Akaza fight are not changed and neither are the events surrounding it.
Simply adding another battle that takes place at the same time. This battle is with the former Hashira and certified Nezuko protection gang, fighting against Tengen Uzui's brother and current demon shinobi, Jigoku Uzui. I chose the name because Tengen means heaven and Jigoku means hell.
(Flashback) After the dispatch of Gyokko in the swordsmith village, Akaza was tasked with finding a good candidate to replace him. He stumbled upon the ruthless shinobi culture cultivated by the Uzui family. Seeing how they're a group of efficient warriors that don't hold any ethical qualms, Akaza challenged both Tengen's father and Jigoku to combat at which they fought him at the same time. If Akaza won they'd agree to become demons, and they'll keep they're clan but as long as they're loyal to Lord Muzan. But if father Uzui and Jigoku won, Akaza would leave them alone. The fight devolves and eventually involves Jigoku's children joining in. Akaza defeats Jigoku and kills his father as well as a few of his children. Recognizing the ones that have survived as strong and Jigoku as a worthy adversary, he gives him and his surviving children Muzan's blood to be turned to demons. The Uzui clan is now loyal to Muzan and Jigoku Uzui has been nominated as Upper Moon rank 5.
(Current) I think it will be an interesting dynamic with Tengen encountering his brother again and this time as a Demon. It will make for lots of drama as well as an interesting fight between two shinobi and two swordsmen. Nezuko would stay asleep most of the fight with Urokodaki directly protecting her. Speaking of, in this rewrite Jigoku was sent by Muzan to directly collect Nezuko and bring her to him.
Now about Jigoku's Blood Demon Art. I decided he should have the full arsenal of basic shinobi weaponry like Tengen and his wives, however his main weapon and instrument of the Blood Demon art is that of a double sided kusarigama. Basically a staff with dual sickles on each end and a chain holding a miniature mace extending from the staff's center. The blood demon art entails rapid spinning of the dual sided kusarigame of which blood tendrils extend from the ends causing extreme destruction while boosting speed.
At first, Jigoku is overwhelmed by the pure skill of these three master former Hashira. Even though they're rusty techniquewise, their coordination is perfected through endless battle experience. Jigoku's head is severed but wait, it's not over. Three more demons sprout from his neck and seperate. Jigoku's sons/Tengens nephews turned demons. Jigoku regrows his head and the real battle begins.
The fight plays out as a team battle with constantly switching opponents and locations around the Ubuyashiki estate. When it comes to the oldy swordsmen, Shinjuro is almost a mirror image of his son Kyojuro when Tengen sees him in battle, warming his heart. The only difference is that the sincerety that once inhabited the former flame Hashira is gone and has been replaced with a new layer of ferocity when fighting. Shinjuro isn't only fighting to protect or for honor, but to utterly crush his opponent in raging fire. Urokodaki still has that veil of sympathy and sincerity but his fighting style is different from Giyu's. The former fights in the style of a raging river controlled yet violent, while Giyu's is more calm and feeling, using current like movement to use the energy of the attacker back at them.
The 3 Uzui demon brothers all have Upper Moon 5 on their eyes despite not being the main threat. From strongest to weakest, there's the eldest brother, the youngest brother and the middle brother.
In the second half of the battle Nezuko wakes up and realizes she has limited time as a Demon left as she is slowly reverting to being a human. So she participates in the battle aiding the former Hashira. I thought this would be a good parallel to take place at the same time as the Akaza fight as it would be brother and sister fighting different Upper Moons simultaneously. She would also use her exploding blood to make Urokodaki's blade turn red.
At the climax of the battle Tengen manages to get a Demon Slayer Mark over his right eye with a series of parallel curved lines, increasing in size the further up the forehead they go. This is supposed to mimic soundwaves. Eventually all heads are severed with Jigoku's specifically being cut off by a marked Tengen. But one of the Demon brother's head was instead ripped off by Nezuko and not by a nichirin blade. So they don't disintegrate, which gives headless Jigoku enough time to surprise attack Shinjuro, stabbing him through the heart with one of the broken off kusarigama blades, killing him. Tengen avoids the attack of the headless Jigoku because he's also a Shinobi and Nezuko protects Urokodaki. Nezuko uses one last push of power to use her exploding blood to completely disintegrate the body of one of the headless demon brothers before any of them can reattach their heads. Now all demons left are headless by nichirin blades, they disintegrate.
Last Note: probs gonna continue into multiple parts. Don't really care if anyone reads the whole thing. Only for my personal peace of mind so I don't forget. Sorry if this is too long. If you do end up enjoying, thanks.
submitted by AlexSciChannel to KimetsuNoYaiba [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 08:06 Hot-Consequences Fellow Engineers, what would you have in your "layoff toolkit"?

This isn't a literal toolkit of course, but a collection of resources, plans, media and other items. Also it should be broad, from laid off with some notice, short notice, or none at all/fired - or if you had to switch jobs immediately for some reason. Here are some of the things I've thought of
Any good ideas that I'm missing or ways I could improve and refine the above? What would your tool kit look like? For reference I live in a HCOL major American City and I'm single and on the younger side, so that's why you don't see a mention of family or a partner.
submitted by Hot-Consequences to EngineeringJobs [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 08:01 Ashleybaby87 Worth a try. Anything helps.

Asking for help after a long fall from grace.
I’m not the type to ask for help. I’ve never actually needed help until now. But after a long fall from grace, it’s time to put my pride aside and ask for help.
When I was 17, I joined the US Army. I didn’t join to serve my country or any other patriotic reason, I joined because I came from a super poor family, and I knew that I wanted better for myself. And boy did I get it! I traveled the world, and on my 2nd tour in Iraq, ended up severely injured, and ended up getting out on a medical discharge. I was last stationed at Fort Knox in Kentucky, and I liked the area so much I decided to stay. With no idea what to do with the rest of my life, I started looking into joining the medical field. I became a CNA. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was working too hard for too little money, especially since I already had a bad back injury. So I used my GI Bill and went to college. Eventually, I ended up with a Masters in Nursing. Took 5 years, but was definitely worth it. I ended up moving to New York and stayed up there for about 12 years. I made amazing money, and had a great life. If there was something I wanted, I bought it. I went on vacations, cruises, had several vehicles I paid cash for, and owned a beautiful home that was paid for. I shared my wealth when able. If someone needed help, I’ve always done what I could. I worked as a Director of Nursing in a hospital up there. When Covid hit, I was one of the first to volunteer to go to NYC to help on the front lines. I loved my job and helping other people. One day at work, I hit my head on a metal box that was mounted to the wall. I was sent for a MRI. The doctors found a lesion on my brain, unrelated to me hitting my head. A few months passed, and I started experiencing some intermittent confusion, and extreme fatigue. Then the pain started. It would hurt my feet and legs so bad to walk, that I could barely stand. I started seeing a neurologist. After tons of testing, a spinal tap, MRIs, you name it, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I was supposed to go to the neurologist to get started on something for it the following Monday morning, but tragedy struck that Saturday night when my entire house burned to the ground while I was at the grocery store. The entire house was a total loss. Not being from New York, I had no family to stay with, and ended up having to move back to North Carolina with family. After getting here, my MS progression sped up. I started seeing a neurologist here, and was told that my MS is the Primary Progressive type, which is bad news. Unable to work, I filed for Social Security Disability. A year passed, during which I used up all my savings, and ended up moving in with my mom. They denied my claim without ever obtaining my medical records from New York. I submitted an appeal, and they denied that as well, without ever getting all my medical records. So I collected all my medical records myself, and contacted a lawyer. I have a hearing coming up, and I will be approved once I see a judge solely based on my rapid decline since applying. I can’t walk without crutches anymore. I can’t control my bladder, the fatigue has gotten so bad that I can sleep 16 hours without a problem. Now, I’m always in severe pain because I’ve got neuropathy throughout both feet, legs, hands, and arms. I’m going blind. My feet are contracted and I wear special shoes and see a specialist just for that. My pancreas decided to stop functioning right, and I have a insulin pump now, with a implant that monitors my sugar every minute and makes sure I don’t drop or spike. I see a specialist for that as well. On top of that, I’ve got rheumatoid arthritis, so my joints and bones are affected, while the MS screws with my muscles. I have severe muscle cramps and spasms all the time. And they hurt. Bad. The muscles in my legs are atrophied to the point where I have no reflexes anymore. As I said, it’s been a long fall from grace for me to end up here. I went from having everything, including great health, to having nothing and being completely crippled in 3 years. All while waiting for disability to approve me and pay out. They now owe me 2 full years of backpay. I qualify for full benefits from the Army, and I have more than enough work credits for fill retirement. But I still haven’t worked or had any income since I’m unable to. I’ve been basically living off my mom, who is also disabled and can barely take care of herself. Food stamps helps with food a little, but it never lasts all month. I have medications that I have to have and even with Medicaid, I still have a copay. I’ve borrowed from everyone I can, which isn’t much because as I said above, I came from a very poor family, and even though that had changed for me, it didn’t change for them. I’m right back where I started.
I typed all this to show that I am a actual person, with a legitimate reason for being in this situation. There’s nothing I can do about it at this moment, except ask for help. If there’s anything you can do to help, please message me. If you can donate anything, anything at all to help, I’d appreciate it more than you know. Transportation to appointments, medication copays, food, things needed to survive, are all too expensive for someone with nothing.
My Cashapp Cashtag is: @DimebagDesigns
Feel free to message me if you want to talk or have any questions.
And thank for reading my long post.
submitted by Ashleybaby87 to donationrequest [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 07:47 VeroBex96 I can’t get the rushed thoughts to stop

I (26f) was diagnosed with bipolar at 16. It’s been a long journey of finding the right medications, doctors, and therapists. I also struggled with drug and alcohol dependency and am two years and 8 months sober. I also have pseudo seizures which honestly suck. During the time of recovery for my addiction, I finally got on a medication (Latuda 80mg, Wellbutrin 150mg, and hydroxyzine as needed) that helped my mood swings and everything else that is associated with my form of bipolar, to include my high anxiety. For a little over two years everything was great medication and symptom wise. I struggled with therapy for a bit because I couldn’t find one that fit my needs because my town is limited on mental health resources. So I currently don’t have a therapist and unfortunately I also don’t have insurance at the moment. I’ve been paying out of pocket to see my doctor and get my meds. Well last year, probably early November, I started throwing up after taking the Latuda and it also made my face swell and look really red and splotchy. I tried lower the dose and it still had that affect on my face, just not the vomiting. It wasn’t every day either, it was every third or fourth day that this would occur and only after I took the Latuda. I’m march, I called my doctor because I’d had enough and was miserable because I started having stomach pain and couldn’t sleep. They told me to stop taking it immediately, but they couldn’t prescribe me a new medication till they saw me again which was the first week of May. (The rescheduled me in January to march because of my doctor, and in march I ended up in the hospital the day before my appointment so I had to reschedule. No, she wouldn’t do a phone appointment) So I have been off medication up until May 19. She prescribed me rexulti but I am terrified of taking any medication now because I had another bad reaction to a medication my PCP prescribed me in April (metformin 1000mg) two weeks ago. I have been dry heaving and throwing up randomly and I have been having anxiety attacks and crying spells more frequently, as well as days of mania. I mean, I’m writing this at 1225 am and I normally sleep 8-10 hours. Anyway, I work a job in a warehouse and am scheduled really early in the morning (usually 4 am). I have had to call out twice in the last two weeks. The first time was because of the bad reaction to the metformin… I was so physically ill that I was not able to get out of bed or eat and barely slept. It also triggered seizures in my sleep. The second time was yesterday morning. I had an anxiety attack the night before and had to take my “as needed” medication because I was dry heaving and vomiting for the better part of an hour. I also could not breathe and in that moment I thought I would just drop dead. I don’t know what triggered it. I have been taking the rexulti for 4 days now, but I know it won’t work immediately. I also take the Wellbutrin every day like I’m supposed to. So I called in when I woke up at three, because I was so groggy and dehydrated, I knew I wouldn’t be okay at work. My job is a very physically demanding job and it’s hot and humid in the mornings right now. My throat was also so raw that I couldn’t even swallow my spit. I have felt nothing but guilt for calling in and I feel so ashamed of myself that it’s gotten this bad. My boyfriend really has been the best through all of this and is doing his best to reassure me, but I keep feeling like I’m a burden to him. I also can’t stop thinking about the past few months and wishing I had never stopped the Latuda and just put up with the side affects. Everything is playing on repeat and I don’t know how to stop it. It rushes through my mind and I feel like my head is going to explode. I don’t know anyone on a personal level who would understand either… everyone I know, besides my boyfriend, just tells me they expected this to happen and that I’ll be fine eventually and just get that glazed over look when I talk. I don’t want to tell anyone at work about my mental health problems… I don’t want them to think I use it as a crutch. I pick up shifts throughout the week when I can, I help my coworkers every day that I work and I go above and beyond. I help take care of my niece and nephew and up until a few days ago, I would also help take care of my baby sister. I am constantly surrounded by family or at my boyfriends house. I am also in college and finally getting my associates this summer and moving onto my bachelors. My point is, I don’t want them to think I’m lazy and just calling in to call in.
Sorry for the long post.
TLDR; Had a panic attack the night before work and called in the next morning. Now I can’t stop thinking about everything that has happened over the past few months and need constant reassurance, which makes me feel even worse.
submitted by VeroBex96 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 07:44 PPPRCHN A Not-so-many-headed Problem+Panic Buttons (homemade OC fanfiction just for you!)

These are my beginner fanfictions! I tried to keep these as congruent with the portrayed personalities/actions of Overlord(tm).
The first is set sometime around the Re-Estize Kingdom destruction, while the second is set right after Pestonya and Nigredo get released from Ice Prison.
These feature Mare, Pestonya, and Cocytus mostly.
Please enjoy them!
---
The shadow demon whispered into Ainz' "ear" which was met with a heavy sigh. He had grown tired of this fight, his enthusiasm for the following battle was sapped- all due to a certain individuals' actions.
"I tire of this. Cocytus, do as you will."
Cocytus thumped his chest with the pride not only of being chosen by Ainz-Sama but at the incoming chance to prove his worth to his God.
"Yes! Ainz. Sama. Will. I. Be. Providing. Back. Up. For. Your. Commands?"
Ainz propped his chin on a knuckle, and with a regal wave of his hand stated his decree.
"This war is with truly worthless, as well as anything that might be here. Truly worthless creatures." A chill seeped over the ground as Cocytus and the other retainers within the splendorous tent realized- Ainz-sama was angered by the Individuals' previous actions. The chill spread through their feet and crawled up their backs, like a horrid ghost which wished to whisper sweet nothings of despair into your ear. Slowly, it retracted, yet all in the tent continued to shiver. Such was the wrath of a Supreme Being. "Except for "that individual" do as you must, this was a waste of time. Everyone you shall be placed under Cocytus' direct orders as needed- assist him as you must."
Ainz-sama leaned deeper into his fist, lost in thought and perhaps tired from having to deal with this skirmish- far beneath need to waste his time. Cocytus and the other retainers bowed and briskly left the room. Walking with pride- Cocytus was trailed by footsteps, one step of clicking heels behind him drew his notice.
"Cocytus."
Albedo, the Overseer of Nazarick gently but firmly gripped one of his arms causing him to stop in his tracks.
"I apologize for touching you, but I don't need to exp-"
Cocytus waved two of his opposite arms, opposite from Albedos' retreating grasp.
"It. Need. Not. Be. Said." Cocytus puffed out "To. Not. Only. Waste. Ainz. Samas'. Precious. Time. But. To. Also. Not. Even. Reach. The. Standards. To. Meet. His. Expectations. Is. Worthy. Of. Eradication."
The other retainers- the Floor Guardians nodded to his statement in agreement.
Shalltear piped up" Ahhh~ We don't even need to show them true despair, this will simply be an execution." With a shake of her head and an expression which read "It can't be helped."
With resolve tempered, Cocytus began his task.
---
The Hydra was a creature well known not only in Yggdrasil, but in the New World as well. Capable of casting not only magic of the 5th tier, but sometimes able to cast martial abilities. This was, however, entirely dependent on the luck of said hydra from birth. They could have anywhere from 7-9 heads and each could be skilled in magic or martial abilities, what it knew however was random- one could cast up to 2nd Tier but another on the same body could cast 5th tier. Its' heads would act in unison, with a "main head" being chosen by one which displayed their dominance by fighting the other heads and helped by slight telekinesis which allowed them to sense the leaders' whims.
Pelgraya-Nurm was proud of her shiny scales, which she frequently rehydrated to keep their glistening texture possibly to appear alluring to the humans. Their approval was below her, but who wouldn't appreciate praise no matter how insignificant. She shook her golden brown mane, large and fluffy she would easily be lauded by these humans as the softest cuddling partner if only she was nicer. She was not however.
Pelgraya-Nurm was different however, instead of heads it had been born with a plethora of arms. These arms, while not adept at martial kills, could cast 6th tier spells and along with improved dexterity, she could wield weapons if needed. This could be the reason she was cast out and viciously chased off by her kith and kin, probably not wanting the weakness a mutant would bring. She also had a talent, for mana, which increased her mana regen by absurd amounts the lower her mana. She was currently leading the contingent of her mercenary group which while called "The City Guard" were nothing more than thugs.
Pelgraya-Nurm had taken a name in part of jealousy of dragons (but partially from being shunned by her kin) but also to make her stand out among humans. While she easily towered over humans, however, the creatures she saw across from the battlefield shook her even now and made her feel insignifigant. She looked to her adjutant, Papaya, an elf she had bought to handle any affairs of human relations.
"Papaya" Pelgraya-Nurm muttered "What is that contingent of undead? Why have we not heard of such a thing before?"
Papaya rocked with her masters' obvious displeasure.
"I-i'm not sure. We haven't heard anything from scouts or even from the kingdom- they simply appeared P-Pelgraya-sama."
Papaya was consequently splattered across the floor, nearby soldiers, and part of the wall Pelgraya-Nurm was stationed on. Wicking off her claws with a flick of the wrist, she voiced her displeasure.
"You can all be replaced, you are nothing to me. I own you." Pelgraya-Nurm stated matter-of-factly. Simply put, this was how Hydras' and even most monsters behaved- rule of the strong. However, this was not usually the case for humanoids. They had "laws" and "good samaritism" they usually reacted negatively to being pasted onto their nearby surroundings.
Out of the corned of her eye, Pelgraya-Nurm saw a twisting of her humongous shadow- a small offshoot which seemed to sputter and slink off. Only for a second, she must have been seeing a trick of the light. She turned towards her opponents and grinned, they stood no chance.
Across the battlefield, after being reported to by that shadow demon, someone stamped the seal which would seal their fate.
---
Cocytus had prepared a map of the village they stood before, which had been prepared by the shadow demons beforehand. It was largely unremarkable, but being a ragtag mercenary group this could easily be all of their mustered forces. The shadow demons hadn't been scouting for long but they would more than likely bring forth confirmation to this point. Cocytus would not be swayed by this, already tempered by previous expectations.
"Shalltear. May. I. Leave. Mopping. Up. Escaping. Troops. Or. Those. Running. Away. To. You?"
With a dainty curtsy, Shalltear silently left with an expression of relish. Now, what to do about showing the true wrath towards someone who wasted the precious Supreme Ones' infinite mercy of a quick death?
"Do. We. Have. The. Troops. Ready?"
"Yes, Cocytus. I have a suggestion to showing off our Supreme Ones' beauty in rule." Demiurge responded with a slowly growing grin.
Then. I. Shall. Leave. That. To. You."
---
Pelgraya-Nurm was the first to hear it. A slow repeating stomp followed by a short break and then repeating. It quickly grew and inversely morale quickly shriveled.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
This continued for a short while, as the undead which comprised the enemy forces- stomped in time, a truly jaw-dropping event. Undead could be coordinated so? In this number? Pelgraya-Nurm was growing uneasy, her surrounding contingent had long passed this.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
The undead knelt and bowed, all centered on the tent in the distance. A chill was growing like a pillar of ice in the human army. No longer centered around Pelgraya-Nurm, but on this unknown force which had appeared.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
The army split neatly in two as the undead smoothly, rised, slid away from the center, and resumed kneeling. A golden embroidered flag, with a black seal upon the purple midnight fabric. It slowly approached the middle grounds between the two armies and assumed a straight backed stance.
STOMP STOMP STOMP. Silence.
It began hoisting the flag straight up on every stomp, down in between. With a voice unnaturally loud for a sinle creature to have- and to be heard over such a distance. A voice which while holding a degree of self-importance rasped with the clear hatred for the living. It interrupted between the stomps.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
This continued until they saw creatures slowly walk from both sides of the army, chilling them to the bone even more somehow. Towering, black, and wielding swords in twisting patterns with paired great shields. Adorned with red veins which pulsated and seemed to draw the viewer into their grisly visage, a face which begged for them to approach and be rent. Death Knights.
These creatures lumbered in a roundabout number as the contingent shuddered in fear, no doubt a rout was being concocted simultaneously by these non-connected creatures. As the realization dawned on them for what was happening- they were being boxed in. Those horrid creatures had spaced themselves enough to easily be able to catch them if any tried to run.
It was a do-or-die situation. And if they got resurrected it might just be a die-or-die situation. Suddenly, gripping her superiority and strength- Pelgraya-Nurm commanded these rowdy people together.
"We have no chance of running, this is truly ride or die! Keep them at bay and I'll blast them to death!" she smirked despite her creeping fear.
The soldiers prepared themselves, maybe some of them would make it out alive if they fought to either their teeth or nails.
---
Shalltear skipped along the streets, a strong undead following in tow. It was called a Living Hunter, an undead of the 50s level. It hungered for the living as its' name foretold, it however was adequately skilled for this task. It grew stronger in proportion to the living around it, which increased the radius of those included which could swell to absurd ranges depending on deployment. As well as that, it grew faster movement speed and attack speed the longer it chased an individual living creature. It towered over its surroundings and it could be slowed by those running into or hiding in buildings. This was also tempered by the fact it was sometimes unable to control itself from brutally devouring victims alive in brutal and sadistic fashions. While it could be a dangerous foe for attackers, it could easily be countered by simply sending in weak merc. NPCs to distract it or, even simpler just having a tank which had any taunt skill to constantly reset their passive.
Shalltear had been dragging along several human corpses in one hand while her umbrella was twirled in the other, snacks- not for her of course. They had easily accomplished their task, Living Hunter chasing stragglers and scaring people while Shalltear threw rocks to smash them into pieces. While its disgusting nature could never be mistaken for cute, the growl it made was of pleading. Shalltear stopped in place, sighed in an exaggerated manner, and spun with a childish waggle of her finger said-
"I GUESS you receive a treat for your good work.."
-she smiled and tossed corpses up to the Undead Hunter not unlike how one would toss treats to their pet dog. It snapped them up and smashed them like balloons between its teeth, chewing them up as if relishing a delicious piece of bubblegum.
"Gruuuu..!" it rumbled, shaking the surroundings.
"Okay, you continue with the pincer attack while I watch over this city, arinsu~."
It lumbered off as Shalltear sauntered up a walls buttressed stairs, before shortly perching herself to watch the ensuing battle, kicking her feet, and cutely twirling her umbrella.
---
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
STOMP "Ainz!" STOMP "Ooal!" STOMP "Gown!". Silence.
Suddenly, it stopped. Jolting the mercenaries to attention. The undead chanter turned itself to the side and took steps back. A towering creature stepped forth from the tent and walked down the alley towards them.
As a slow frost gently billowed forth from the enemy side, the soldiers teeth began clacking. Pelgraya-Nurm, being cold-blooded, especially. The creature walked forth, eyes glinting in the dwindling sunlight and planted itself where the chanter had been. It slammed its weapons- a giant curved sword with a long hilt, a halberd, and an oddly small thin blade. The halberd and large sword had their hilts planted in the crackling, dry earth.
Silence. No one dared breath. The battlefield had shrunk and the contingent realized this. They were audibly shaking now, armor clinking over armor. Pelgraya-Nurm moved to say something was cut off by a shriek from behind them. A shriek which sounded like souls whining to be realsed from eternal torment.
Rubble came crashing down around them, slushing some of them and maiming others. Pelgraya-Nurm was struck by a huge chunk of wall directly in the face as she looked up, knocking her out cold. She was unable to witness the creature which had crumbled the walls from behind like a child might crush a graham cracker in their hands. It lurched over, so close it could look some of them face to face. It rasped a disgusting swathe of undead stench over them and seemingly chuckled. It- counter to its' size, grasped several soldiers with its armored mitts and tossed them into the air. The resulting crunch of the bone heralded the beginning to the skirmish.
As the undead began marching towards them, their attention was diverted between the encroaching mass of dead and the fact this creature summarily had grasped Pelgraya-Nurm and slowly dragged her with them. Their trump card removed, they were finished in barely ten minutes.
---
Pelgraya-Nurm awoke slowly, her vision blurry and ear-holes ringing.
"????? ??????? ?? ??? ????..." something murmured. She did not know or care whether this was directed at her, and she was focused on simply getting up and wreaking havoc among these filthy peasants. She toppled over, due to her weight and a force pushing her down.
"??! ??? ????? ? ??? ?????? ??? ? wonder ?? sama ??? ???????? ?? ?????" failed to breach her head and report anything communicable to her brain. She was slowly coming to and realized she was surrounded.
A silver haired thing, a creature in orange vestment, and the tall white thing from before.
"Waking ??? ?? ???? ?. Good. ??? ?? ?? begin."
The silver-hair and white- thing stood with smug(?) looks (she had never cared to learn human expressions) as the orange-suit walked forward.
"How would you ???? do this?" the orange-ones' movement was making her dizzy again, however she had the upper hand- quickly she cast a [Silent Magic: Ultra Fireball] in a deft motion. Before that she was struck across the head which sent her reeling and slightly rolling. The fuzziness returned-
"No." orange-suit said, muffled by her newly made brain fog.
"A bit gentler ???? ?????? Ainz-sama ???? ???? this one ??? all." the silver-hair piped up
"Indeed. It. Will ????. ?. ??????. Prize. For. ???. Ainz. Sama. ????. It. Would. Seem. ???. ?. ??????. Bauble." white-thing responded.
Her vision returning, she weakly lifted her head and was promptly struck again- she had been bitch-slapped. It wasn't as forceful as before, which allowed her to go all out and cast [Maximize Magic: Ultra Fireball], [Maximize Magic: Magic Arrow], and [Maximi-
She was bitch slapped once.
She was bitch slapped twice.
She was bitch slapped a third time.
Her head was whipped around comically with the applied beatings.
"????. ??. ????. ???. Awaits." the white-thing stated
"??????." the silver-hair responded
"??. ??? ????? ????." the orange-suit concurred.
Pelgraya-Nurm was gripped by her throat as she was recovering from this. The orange-thing gripped her throat with a single thing, threatening to crush her windpipe. Slowly she started being dragged along behind them, at a brisk pace. The cobblestone of the city around her and the subsequent rocky ground, for the first time hurt as she was roughly dragged along it.
She struggled, and was thrown onto the ground and bitch-slapped again, gripped by the throat, and dragged along again. This continued two more times, but Pelgraya-Nurm was exhausted, not only from her large size' energy need, the beatings, and an unknown exposure to the sunlight. She felt weak and the fight left her. She was dragged along the long, slow, path towards that tent.
---
They finally arrived in front of the tent and she was again slammed into the ground, this time in a much harder throw. The wind and tears were knocked from her, the ground cracking underneath this crushing blow. The white-thing, silver-hair, and orange-suit all prostrated themselves towards the tent. An encroaching fear was growing over Pelgraya-Nurm and she bowed her head to the ground (again, partly from exhaustion and the beatings).
"Ainz-sama! We have brought this disgusting specimen before you as you have asked!" the three spoke in unison. Pelgraya-Nurm understood. Ainz Ooal Gown was not a country or a simple fief but someone these things bowed before.
As the aforementioned one fluttered the tent flap open, a finely decorated skeleton thing- followed by a demi-angel(?). Fear pierced her through like a harpoon, and felt as if it was being pulled through her guts. She openly shook and hoped maybe since they had brought her forth, they might allow her to at least live. Undead were known to hate the living, but maybe since this one surrounded itself by the living it would be merciful.
---
Ainz flapped open the tent, and was greeted with Demiurge, Shalltear, and Cocytus. He received their gift of this prisoner-of-war, and consequently praised their efforts. This praise made them seemingly shiver with delight. But to Pelgraya-Nurm, it was unnoticed- she was too focused on this one called "Ainz."
"A-Ainz-sama?" She spat up as she pressed her head into the head indent she had made earlier. "I-"
Ainz sliced his hand horizontally as if to cut her in twain.
"Silence." it commanded.
She began tearing up, how could fate deny her strength. She had made herself a slowly growing land, full with servants, and glory to her. Why had this thing come here? Why her?
"To viciously murder ones followers, loyal beings- is a sin I cannot abide. To do so, is to be scum of the worst kind. I do not normally do this, but I shall relish this. Cocytus lift her."
Before she could run, white-thing grabbed her by the forehead and lifted her straight up. This painful grip denied her any chance to pull free, her large body squirming halfways upon the ground. Her arms pulled and scraped the ground and attempted to pull herself free by pushing against Cocytus. She was like a child being lifted by the leg, helpless against her coming doom.
Ainz flicked his wrist and a magic circle appeared before his bony hand. With that he made a faux-gripping motion and she could no longer move her body and some of her arms. It felt like she was truly being gripped within his grasp. Her arms now flailed uselessly and she screamed and cried as she too flailed. Her last thought was that she had never found a mate, maybe a human HAD been her only chance.
With that flick of the wrist, she was summarily twisted around, multiple times, in a quick clockwise turn. Cocytus' grip being the axis of this sickly pirouette, evoking the look of a ballroom dance. Cocytus subsequently dropped the head.
"Send it to be picked clean, and Living Hunter to patrol."

Much later, after confirming everything was razed and destroyed- the Living Hunter gleefully engorged itself among the feast of the battlefield.

submitted by PPPRCHN to overlord [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 07:37 Warriorofjustice22 My case

My case
When I was 20 years old I was invited by Jesse Daniel King / vincenzo king to live with him at Mt.tam Ridge apartments (now called Bell apartments) in Corte Madera, Marin. The way we met is he would constantly DM me on instagram until I gave in. He told me was Sicilian but had a lot of medication in different language. He would inject himself with what he said were “hormones”. As I was in a vulnerable state,I complied, it was a new experience for me, I had never lived with a man that was my so-called “boyfriend”. At first jesse was kind, I helped him pay the apartment and gave him my full trust. I gave him roughly around 8k-10k. He told me his mother died and that he had cancer, as well that he was a private contractor for the army and that he had killed people. He showed signs of deep trauma in which I could relate to, I felt bad for him and wanted to offer a loving-kindness as I believe everyone can heal. I lived with him for two years. After the first two months that I lived with him he started to become aggressive, getting mad for every little thing (for example: I once clogged the kitchen sink because I was doing dishes) or he would get angry at his boss “Tom” from Sausalito California an old man that he took care of but heavily complained about. I was very understanding of his emotions and the most patient I had ever been with anyone as I wanted to offer my full empathy. I did love him at one point but that was before I learned the truth and how I was backstabbed. Fast forward a couple months and I got pregnant. It was my first time getting pregnant, he immediately started to become even more aggressive and told me he didn’t want me to have the baby. I became heavily depressed and even dependent on him as I was scared to tell my parents and felt I couldn’t tell them what was going on. I was trapped in that one bedroom apartment, he would go out but I would always be stuck there for the sake of being loyal. He would always express to me how loyalty was important to him and I respected that. While I was pregnant he would flirt and go out to meet other women. He told me about his ex girlfriend “Katherine” of 7 years and how her mom and dad are powerful in the Air Force. I texted her once to ask her if Jesse was good to her, in which she replied “in hindsight”. I had no problem with her and left it at that. Jesse and Katherine kept in contact afterwards, I didn’t complain as I was scared he would get mad at me and call me toxic. During that same time he expressed interest in a neighbor called “Alison”. He said not to worry about her as her husband was CHP, but he also said that he bet she “fucked like an animal”. Very concerning to hear but I ignored it so he wouldn’t have a fit. I was constantly walking on eggshells. After that, that is when Alison lindemann (lindermann, might not be her real name) knocked on our door. Jesse explained what happened from his point of view in the email screenshot attachments above. Alison was very aggressive towards me, after the altercation Jesse choke slammed me and strangled me for a minute before he “realized” what he was doing. I suffered a mild concussion. He then gave me a pill and that is when I lost my baby. I had no health care so I had to heal the natural way. I knew I lost my child because I had never experienced that pain before, he locked himself in the bathroom while I screamed in pain in the bedroom, not once did he ask if I was okay. I tolerated his behavior because I was scared and he blamed his anger on Cancer and his dead parents. After the lease ended he said he had no where to go so I invited him to live with my parents, my mom helped us move our things, he never said thank you. He had an anger fit towards my mom, and he was still being aggressive in my parents home. That is when I kicked him out, I didn’t want my siblings to witness his anger and get traumatized like I did. We then went our separate ways. Afterwards I found out that he never had cancer and both his parents were still alive. I knew because his parents would visit my job at chevron in Rockville road and intimidate me because Fairfield is their town/turf. I then found out that his “sister” was Stevie king and her husband Alex , people I worked with at in n out in Fairfield when I was 18. I found this creepy and sad as I didn’t expect it from them. I also found out that he had a child with Shelby Larkin, and named her Kennedy at the same time I lost my baby. After I spoke up, my family and I dealt with retaliation. I have multiple evidence, from stalking, harassment from his friends and subliminals from his best friend kiana Melendez. I suffered a deep depression. I was scared to tell my parents so I posted it online instead. Hoping they wouldn’t suffer from retaliation but they still did. All of the attackers were from Travis Air Force, in Fairfield California (Katherine’s mom and dad people) He had access to all money that he “kept” for me. As well as my social security. Im first generation and he used my information to attack members of my family that were undocumented. An auntie in my family in Mexico was robbed significantly. I also suffered a financial loss. Since they won’t stop I am forced to publicly my case again. I wish I wasn’t so stupid and never met him. The first king that bullied me was Caroline king, she followed me to a thrift shop and laughed at me with her friend group. Not one was a person of color. I didn’t know they were related until now. I was targeted. I hope my case helps others not be as naive as I was. Katherine and her mom followed me to Mexico to spy on me and Mexico City. Im pretty sure that’s illegal but I don’t know, they do a lot of “tours”. It’s sad to see the US government abuse their power on the innocent. I was robbed, a family member of mine was killed, I lost my baby by force,i suffered postpartum depression, I was then gangstalked by Katherine and Jesses friends, My parents were intimidated by the Travis Air Force to keep me quiet. I felt trapped in that town as their beloved Air Force are “heroes”. What did I do that started their interest in me ? I went to a peaceful protest advocating against police brutality and for women’s rights. I missed family events and he wouldn’t let me go to Mexico City, I didn’t deserve this. My family and I also experienced a in house C4 bomb “test” the day before my birthday. On my birthday I spent it in the 707 North Bay hospital, in which the Spaniard nurses there all seemed to have the same face as Katherine. They told me I was paranoid and agitated,they did an EKG on me but didn’t tell me why or what the procedure was. They also injected me with a shot when I told them not to, I am 23 and a “legal” adult now so I would assume the doctors would have to respect my choice. But they didn’t, after my stay I felt like a zombie and suffered from a urinary tract infection that I didn’t have before my stay at that hospital. I don’t know how long I was knocked out but I spent a day and night there. I pleaded to go home and that I was okay and tried my best to not seem so “agitated” but they declined and kept me still. I have video surveillance evidence of the C4 bomb “test” as my parents have cameras inside the house. What was the most heartbreaking is that my little siblings also smelled the smell of C4. No kid should know what that smells like. I hope this spreads awareness on how dangerous these people are and how they abuse their power. I can forgive what happened to me but I am angry about what happened to my family. On my little sisters birthday, “Katie” another of Katherine’s people inserted herself and did a pop-up on my families property, even went as far to call me a bitch. Now Katie’s and all the kats protect their identities by calling themselves Kat now, reminds me of kkk. Which is still active is the 707 Bay Area. It seems as though the Travis Air Force uses the kkk to install fear into the lives of people of color in “their” communities, they also disguise themselves under being MAGA supporters. These are my facts, my story from my point of view. I’m sorry for speaking my truth.
submitted by Warriorofjustice22 to u/Warriorofjustice22 [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 07:07 ichinisannyaarigato 23 [F4R] Philippines/Online-Looking for friends anywhere! Feel free to chat/DM

Hi! Anyone is welcome! Feel free to send me a chat/dm if you want to have a new friend 🥹 because I really need one too.
So, ahem, anyways, about me: Recently graduated (last January. My degree is medical lab science. I’m going to get my license soon, and I want to work in another country since health care workers don’t get much here), I got two dogs, I do small business, and I don’t really have that much hobbies but I recently loved baking
I hope that we can be good friends! I only use snap, so I hope you use it too. Also, please introduce yourself too! (Hi/hello or low effort msgs will be ignored 🥹)
submitted by ichinisannyaarigato to r4r [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 07:05 Chairs_Are_People New to gout: If my UA tested at 6.5, could a diet change be sufficient for me? Also: what’s the deal with dairy and walking?

A little back story: a little over a week ago, I had pain and swelling in my big toe. I thought I had injured it and just not realized it. After raising it and icing it enough that I could put a shoe on without much pain, I went to Urgent Care and was diagnosed with gout. I was given colchicine and prednisone, and I did a blood test. The colchicine did wonders… although I misunderstood some of what the doctor said and had beer that night. 😬 So the next day. I was a little worse, but not as bad as before the pill. My UA level was 6.5, which they said wasn’t too high but my symptoms were still normal for gout.
I have drank craft beer, 12-16 cans a week and mostly IPAs, for 12 years or so. I have no doubt that the beer has led to my condition. I have seen a few posts on here that say diet can drop your UA by one point, and that you can reach a point of saturation (I think that was the term… I may have that wrong) at 6.0. So my question is, since my current UA is less than a full point from saturation, am I in a position to control my gout with diet - namely, by cutting out beer and possibly red meat? I never eat organ meats and rarely have sea food.
I already drink at least a full gallon of water everyday - I did 75 Hard last year and didn’t stop that. I could probably drink more…. But I’m really drinking water most of the time throughout the day.
I really would like to avoid medication. I already have hypertension and am on lisinopril, which I am to understand has some complications with allo and unfortunately is another contributor to high UA levels.
Also, I’ve seen some contradictory posts here as well as articles on the internet about two things: dairy and walking. Is dairy good for gout or bad for gout? What about walking?
submitted by Chairs_Are_People to gout [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 06:54 manofcopper555666 All with only a one seat majority in the senate. This is truly spectacular and brings so much hope.

All with only a one seat majority in the senate. This is truly spectacular and brings so much hope. submitted by manofcopper555666 to WhitePeopleTwitter [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 06:34 bimbo_wannabe_ [I Accidentally Joined The Mafia In South Brooklyn] Chapter 5: The Dead Are Especially Nosy Down Here

[I Accidentally Joined The Mafia In South Brooklyn] Chapter 5: The Dead Are Especially Nosy Down Here
Previous Part: https://www.reddit.com/redditserials/comments/13sxdo9/i_accidentally_joined_the_mafia_in_south_brooklyn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
These last few parts have taken a lot longer for me to write than I thought. A lot of shit has gone down in the last two months, and a lot of it, frankly, is kind of a blur. But I figure, if you've stuck with me this long, then you deserve to know how it all ended up so I'm going to try my best to remember every detail of what happened.
Me? I've spent every free hour I've had, just lying in bed. I've got a lot of healed wounds that still hurt me pretty damned badly.
Blood loss from multiple gunshot wounds and then drowning in the East River, dying and then being brought back while still human, incidentally, takes a lot out of a guy.
But… I'm getting way ahead of myself.
Where were we, again?
Oh yeah, that's right. The funeral without caskets, inside of a Ukrainian restaurant just off the boardwalk in Brighton Beach. That's where I left off at.
()()()
Antoni's corpse and I had spoken together for a while longer, about Beccs and their baby, actually, sitting there in the floor in front of the three empty bathroom stalls. The next moment, as usual, he was… just gone.
It took a while to slow the bleeding, and it took even longer to try and clean myself up with just hand soap and paper towels and the water from the sink. Nobody came into the bathroom again, and as I left, I saw why. There was a sign on the door that read 'Out of Order' with something printed below it in Cyrillic that I imagined probably said the same thing as the English.
My new winter coat had been left on the floor in front of the door and the Emergency Exit at the end of the hall had its alarm disabled and had been left propped open with a brick.
I took that as a clear message that they didn't want me rejoining the party, so I exited into the alley and sat on a milk crate chain-smoking until 2 PM when the funeral ended.
The weather app on my phone said it was 10 degrees outside, but oddly enough the cold air felt soothing on my bruised face. My eyes were nearly swollen shut, and every now and again I had to pull some of the toilet paper out that I'd stuffed in my pocket to wipe another trickle of blood from my nose when I sniffed a little too hard and moved the clots loose.
At 1:57, I started to hear people exiting the restaurant, so I moved onto the sidewalk to wait for Becca. The people leaving the funeral only glanced at me for a second and then looked away with a bored expression, like I wasn't even there. Finally, only Becca and Toni's immediate family were still inside.
Tatiana gave Becca a hug, Igor, a gentle handshake, and Antoni Sr. bent down, cupped his hands around Becca's face and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. I could see that his right hand was bandaged and he was holding it straighter than his left. Good. I hoped the fucker had broken it when he'd punched me in the jaw.
As Becca exited, I could tell she was angry even before she stomped over to me and shoved me three times in quick succession. Like Jimmy, Becca was a lot stronger than she looked, but now I knew why. I couldn't do much but ball up and take the hits.
"Where the fuck did you go? You just took off and left me there by myself. 'He wouldn't have left without saying goodbye if he had a choice.' You knew, you cocksucker, you knew, you knew he was dead!"
"Yeah, I knew! Antoni was in the news. But we gotta get the fuck out of here, Beccs, you're making a scene, another one, and I gotta get outta this neighborhood before something worse happens to me."
The high color of anger in her cheeks dropped away immediately into a pallid white. She'd been so pissed she'd never once registered the state of my face.
"Jesus Christ, Tony, what the fuck happened to you?"
"Your little Polish sausage's Daddy Dearest just beat the fuck out of me in the men's bathroom, that's what the fuck happened."
"Why would he do that?" Becca asked, but I didn't answer. She looked back to Skovorodka, following my gaze. Antoni Sr. was still standing there, just inside the front door, watching me with narrowed eyes, his hands folded neatly behind his back like a soldier at ease. It reminded me a lot of how Antoni used to stand while we were waiting for the train together.
"Fuck," she muttered, then "Shit," and grabbed me by the arm. "Come on."
"Why would he do that?" She asked me again as we climbed the stairs to the train platform.
"Antoni was Mob, Becca, Bratva. His whole goddamned family is. Him and his brothers and his father and his fucking Russian uncle, and I'd say your Mama Tatiana probably isn't in the dark about what her brother and her hubby and his sons do to make a living, either. I don't know why the Zabrowskas were on the Avenue, but suffice to say it was probably for nefarious reasons, and Jimmy found out about it and took care of business.
"Only I don't think he realized exactly who he was taking out at the time he did it, or else he never would have put the body in the River for somebody to find. And then the other three showed up to avenge their brother, only two of 'em never made it past Bianchi any farther than Antoni did."
"The fuck are you trying to say?" Her tone says she already understands just fine and doesn't want to.
"I'm saying your dear sweet Mamma killed your boyfriend, Becca. She removed all the identifying marks from his body, ate what she wanted, then pulled all his teeth out and chewed off his hands and his feet. They dumped the body in the East River and they found him about 5 days ago, floating off of Battery Park."
"Oh God. That's why. I asked Tatiana where Antoni was going to be buried and she told me in the public cemetery on Hart Island. They're not claiming the body because they don't wanna go to the cops. For the last week I been cussing him for everything he was worth, and he's been laying in the fucking morgue." She pressed her hand to her mouth, and I saw her bloodshot eyes filling with tears again.
"Please don't cry, Becca, cause I'm gonna start crying again and I've cried enough for today."
She sniffed back her tears and swallowed hard.
"But I don't understand, Tony, what the fuck does that have to do with you?"
"They knew, Beccs, they knew how the Zabrowskas died, who killed them, and they knew I helped Moretti get rid of the bodies afterwards. That's why Antoni's father went after me. The uh… the fucking Pakhan thought Jimmy sent me there to rub it in their faces that they weren't going to be able to bury any of their boys."
"How the fuck would they know that?" She barked at me.
"Somebody's feeding them information and not some asshole on the street, somebody from inside the Camorra."
"Who would do that?"
I saw her eyes darting about wildly as she tried to think of the answer to her own question.
"I don't know, uh, the driver that brought Moretti, he didn't look like he was too fond of Bianchi, maybe he's a fucking option."
"Frankie? I mean, him and Ma have never gotten along. He's never liked her and the feeling's mutual but… that doesn't make any sense, Frankie's always been loyal to the Camorra. Rossi always said he practically muttered the Omerta in his fucking sleep, that he was a soldato down to the bones."
"I have no idea, Becca, but it gets worse," I said quietly. If it didn't hurt so goddamned bad, I would've squeezed my eyes shut.
"How the fuck could it possibly get worse, Tony?"
"First you gotta promise you're not gonna hit me again."
Her hand balled into a fist, and I couldn't help but flinch.
"I'm gonna knock you the fuck out right now if you don't stop wasting my time, Cipriani."
"I sold her out, Becca. Bianchi. I told them where she lives and how to find her tonight."
"You what!?"
"I had to! He was gonna cut my fucking fingers off, and I don't know if he was going to take all four or just three but I wasn't about to fucking find out. I kind of need those fingers seeing as I'm a fucking southpaw!"
I held my left hand out to her, curled my fingers inward, but the third finger just… stayed straight. "Ah, fuck, I didn't even notice that."
"Jesus Christ, the tendon's been cut," she whispered, and when she pressed her hand to her mouth again she looked less like she was swallowing back tears and more like she was trying to swallow back vomit. I couldn't really blame her. I felt pretty nauseous myself.
"You know, I'm, I'm not worried about Ma," she said, finally. "It wouldn't be the first time somebody's tried to take her out. She's harder to kill than they think."
"Would, uh, would cutting her head off work? Cause if so I think they're already pretty aware of how to get the job done. They… they know Bianchi's not human, Becca."
Her face got paler, if that was even possible, and her eyes were the size of saucers.
"This is a goddamn nuclear disaster. Jesus fuck."
We stood the last few minutes waiting for the train in silence. As the doors slid shut and we sat down, Becca began laughing wildly.
"So you're in hysterics for real, huh?" I asked.
"You're gonna have to forgive me, I'm a little slow on the uptake today, but I just got it, Polish sausage… only, he wasn't little, you know, he was hung like a fucking horse, and it's a goddamn tragedy for women everywhere that the man isn't on this earth anymore. And he knew how to use it, too. Best sex I ever had in my life… only sex I ever had in my life, but that's not the fucking point." A short, barking sob tore out of her.
I groaned. "You know, that is way, way more information than I ever wanted to know about you and Antoni's sex life. You couldn't, uh, you couldn't let that one pass by, huh?"
"I never pass up the opportunity to make a good dick joke. And he had Good Dick."
I laughed and regretted it as it tightened muscles in my stomach that were still a little angry about being used as Antoni Sr's personal punching bag.
"Touché, Miss Rebecca, touché."
"The two-faced bastard, I gotta give the motherfucker that much, you know, it's a uniquely personal way to say Fuck You to the Underboss, getting his teenaged daughter pregnant. I am so, so goddamned tired of being a pawn in other people's games. He's lucky he's already dead or I'd kill the bitch myself," she whispered.
"It wasn't a game, Becca, what happened between you and Antoni," I whispered back. I knew because Antoni's corpse had told me as much. "Don't ask me how I know, cause I don't wanna talk about it, but it wasn't a game. You didn't know about him and he didn't know about you and it was a big, fucked up coincidence. You loved him, and he really, truly loved you... he worshiped the ground you walked on." Actually, he had said he worshiped the boots she walked in, but I figured it was a translation issue. "It was a regular old Romeo and Juliet: Brooklyn Edition."
She squeezed her eyes shut, snorted and at the same time choked on another sob.
"Yeah, but Romeo and Juliet ended in a double suicide, not a murder and a single mother." Her tiny hand went to her mouth again, and she wasn't able to hold back the tears this time. "I miss him, Tony, I miss him so fucking much."
"You know, Beccs, I miss him, too." I miss him when he was alive, not looking like a walking nightmare, and talking my goddamned ear off half the time, but I wasn't about to tell her that. "He was the first friend I made down here."
"It's fucking stupid. I still remember every single thing he said to me those first few times I met him."
"Odd as it is, I do too, Beccs. He was that kind of guy, I guess, he didn't have to work hard to make an impression on people. It was, uh, three days after I moved in, I think. I was in the basement, getting ready to do my laundry that morning, fighting with the stuck knob on that machine down at the end? And he walks in with his clothes basket balanced on his hip and reaches past me and just… turned the fucking thing, like it wasn't even stuck to begin with. 'It has an attitude, but it likes me,' he says, and I say, 'I can see that.'
"And he, he told me his name. 'Zabrowska,' he says, 'Antoni.' And I laughed and said, 'Nice to meet you, Toni, I'm Tony.' 'Really?' he says, and I say 'Yeah. Really. Antonio Alessio Gioele Cipriani, the third, if you please.'"
"Goddamn, that name is painfully Italian. No wonder you tell everybody 'Just call me Tony,'" Becca snorted.
"Thank you, Miss Rebecca, I can assure you I didn't pick it myself. But, 'Ah,' Toni says and kind of taps his hand in the center of his chest, 'Junior.' And I laughed again and said 'Our parents were goddamned creative when it came to the baby naming, right?' And he laughed, too, and shook my hand.
"And uh, a few days after that he showed up outside of my apartment and asked me if I wanted to go watch a game with him and his brothers at the sports bar down the street. It was Poland vs Korea. I still don't know shit about soccer, I've always been more of an American football kind of guy, but I did learn quite a few Polish swear words that day. Apparently they'd all bet money on the home team winning that game."
"I bet you did. Poland kept catching red cards that whole game. I bet on Korea, of course, and altogether I won 8 grand from four extremely pissed off Polish dudes when we stomped their ass all over the pitch. I had no idea how seriously the four of them took soccer. Antoni wouldn't even talk to me for three days. Probably didn't help I made an ass of myself laughing at all of them. Course, I woulda bet more if I'd known they were good for it. Dry cleaners, my ass," Becca spat.
"Well, in Antoni's defense, he probably did work at a dry cleaners like he told us, just like you work at a bodega, and Jimmy and me work at a restaurant, and Pops works at a hardware store. We all got day jobs. You know, I hate to bust your balls, Becca, but did it… never occur to you to ask Antoni if the tattoos meant something?"
"No," she said weakly. "I mean, I knew they were prison tats but Jesus Christ, half the people I know have been to prison. You've been to prison, half of my cousins have been to prison, hell, Pops has been to prison. You weren't here then, but all of 2016 to 2020 I was wearing a 'Free Rossi' t-shirt everyday, a lot of people in this neighborhood did. Ma got him off on the Murder 1 charges but numbers are numbers, and she couldn't get him out of the Tax Evasion. But I figured, if Antoni didn't wanna talk about it, then it was none of my business what had happened before we met each other."
She'd minded her own business a little too hard this time.
"What did you and Antoni talk about, Becca?"
"Everything! And anything, and nothing, all at the same time. He'd complain about living with his brothers, about Misiu always leaving hair all over the bathroom, and how Ciech always left sugar all over the kitchen counter after he made his coffee. And I'd complain about having to pick up all the empty bottles of makgeolli after my Dad in the morning. I'd help him wash all the dishes his dirty ass brothers would leave piled in the sink, and fold everybody's clothes.
"We got along well, me and Antoni, we were actually very compatible, we were both neat freaks when it came to our housekeeping. We even folded our towels the same way. And he'd bitch about how Igor could never balance the register correctly at the end of the day, and I'd bitch about how my Dad never checked our invoices correctly, and I was always having to cuss out the distribution reps for shorting us on our deliveries myself.
"And we'd watch TV together. He always made fun of me for the lame ass old Chuck Lorre sitcoms I loved to watch, and I'd make fun of him for all the stupid cop dramas he watched, every Law and Order known to man, and Blue Bloods and shit. We just… talked to each other, like we were two regular people, just living our lives. It was simple and it was easy, and it was enough, it was goddamned enough for me. Our relationship was the one normal thing I had going in my fucked up life."
She cracked at the end, sobbing brokenly. She turned her head to the side, pressed her face into my bicep as she wrapped both arms around mine. Tears filled my eyes, as well, and now I was wiping snot out of my nose as well as blood. I felt goddamned sorry for the kid, and I felt like she had a right to cry, but I had to distract her, for my own sake.
"So tell me, when was the first time you talked to Antoni? Was that the same day he asked you out?"
"No, there was some time between the two. He'd been there about a week, I guess, after they moved in. They got there back in like April. I'd fucked with him the first day, you know, asked him where the hell the accent came from, and he said Poland, and I told him welcome to America cause I felt like being a dick. And he said that he'd already been in country five years and I laughed at him and told him, goddamn, I couldn't tell cause he still sounded like he was fresh off the boat. And he got this look on his face, like he was trying to decide if he needed to be offended or not, so I told him I was just fucking with him, that he was doing better than my Mom, God rest her, cause it was seven years after she got here from Seoul before she even learned a word of English and my Dad was the one that had to teach her."
"Makes sense. I moved in in June, Toni mentioned he'd only been in the building about two months hisself."
She nodded, I could feel the movement in the sleeve of my coat where her cheek was pressed to my arm.
"Him and his brothers started coming in every day after that and you know, I kind of had my eye on him from the first time I talked to him. He was goddamn gorgeous, quite literally the walking definition of 'tall, dark, and handsome.' He had those incredibly blue eyes, and that fucking accent, man, shit put me in knots everytime he came in. I learned them all pretty quick, and Antoni was easy. He got the same thing everyday, box of Newport 100s and a pack of Russian Cream Backwoods with a large slushy. You know I gotta keep the cups behind the counter because motherfuckers'll fill it up and walk out when I get busy. I saw him when he came in, and went over to the ATM, so I had his shit sitting on the counter waiting for him."
Becca had a talent for memorizing all of the regular's orders, it wasn't unusual to see a long line of cigarettes, blunts, medicine, sometimes even crack pipes and Chore Boys, and anything else she kept behind the counter, set up neatly next to the register. She also had a talent for running both registers at the same time when the line got overly long and she was there alone. Sometimes I had no idea how she kept up with it all, but that was just Becca.
"And this drunk asshole came in, right after, he didn't even belong in the neighborhood, he stayed in Bed-Stuy, but he was with his cousin, and his cousin I knew and he was shooting me apologetic looks so I was already on guard. I was in a bad goddamn mood that day, anyway. And the drunk bitch, he walked over to the bathroom and tried to open it."
"Key's behind the counter," I said, and she nodded.
"And the key costs five dollars cause people make a fucking mess in the bathroom and I ain't cleaning that shit everyday for free. Well, drunk fuck got pissed and started talking a bunch of shit and threw his five dollars down on the counter, and you know, I can't stand that. You don't throw money at me, I ain't a goddamned stripper, you can put that shit in my hand or you can get the fuck out my store. And, I said 'Naw, son, for you it's gonna cost ten, five dollar Drunk Dick surcharge for being an asshole and cutting my line.' And the motherfucker… he called me a fucking stupid little bitch, and he told me people like me needed to be sent back to my own country."
I made a sound of disapproval, already seeing where this was headed.
"I hate that stupid shit. Where the fuck am I getting sent back to? The fucking hospital in Manhattan where I was born? Everybody in the store just kind of stopped and stood there, and dude's cousin? He just shook his head at me and walked right out the store and left him there."
"He wasn't gonna get involved, huh?" I asked.
"Fuck no. He wasn't stupid. I… uh, I was seeing red by that point so I balled up his money and I threw it across the store and told him to get the fuck out. I don't even remember half the shit I said to him, but I was yelling and he was yelling back and all of a sudden Antoni was… just there. I never even noticed him walking up. He was a big motherfucker, but goddamn he was quick and quiet when he wanted to be."
Becca laced her fingers through the fingers of my right hand and I gave them a squeeze as she readjusted her head against my shoulder. I turned mine to press a kiss to her hair. She was short enough that I didn't have to worry about bumping my nose. As I turned back, I noticed that there was a puddle of water on the seat across from us, and a pit formed in my stomach immediately. My face felt cold as the blood drained from it. The puddle of water made me more than just a little nervous to see it.
I had new enemies stacking up quick, and the last thing I needed was a pissed off, jealous ghost because his grieving fiancée was getting a little handsy with me. But… Antoni never showed himself, so I could only assume he approved of my offering her comfort in her time of need. Either that or he was waiting till I was alone to express his displeasure.
"'Is there a problem here?' was all he asked and the drunk bitch turned around and he got even more pissed. He goes 'Man, fuck you, white boy. Mind your own goddamned business.' And Antoni kind of got in his face, and goes, 'I have made it my business. She told you to leave. Either remove yourself or I will remove you.'
"And the liquor must've given him a bigger set of balls than he actually had, cause he took a swing at him. And Antoni, he just kind of… leaned back a little to avoid the swing and then leaned back in and… he knocked that bitch out cold with one punch. And then he picked him up, literally picked him up, and threw his ass out on the sidewalk, and kind of dusted his hands off afterwards."
"Well, if he's anything like his father then he could throw a hell of a right cross."
Becca laughed weakly.
"Yeah, his Dad boxes, they all did, you know, from when they were young. Antoni told me he got in his Dad's face once when he was about 16, and Old Papa Zabrowska coldcocked him in the kitchen, and when he woke up on the couch, his Dad dragged him out back in the alley and beat him bloody. Told him if his little grown ass thought he was a man, then he was grown enough to get his ass stomped like a man."
That made me feel a little better, to be honest. At least I wasn't the only one I knew who had caught an ass kicking from Antoni Sr.
"I bet he didn't talk shit to his Pops again after that, huh?"
"I asked him that exact question, he said 'Oh no, no, never again. I learned my lesson.' Toni and his brothers, though, were always getting in fights, even when I knew them. He told me it was hard on their Mama, back in Kraków, having four hormonal, teenaged boys with just shy of a year between each of them, you know cause… us fucking Roman Catholics ain't too fond of any method of contraception."
"I didn't know you was Catholic, too, B."
"Of course. Rossi is a devout Catholic, and that's how he raised me, and Nia, she's an Angel, you know, a Fallen One, that's what they call themselves, but she's even got real wings. A little more leathery and less feathery, but… same thing. She goes to Mass daily, turns out demons are actually very religious. Both of my parents were atheists, and that's how they raised me, but after some of the shit I've seen, you know, it ain't too unbelievable that there's a Big Guy upstairs."
She sniffed again, wiped at her nose and I offered her a bit of toilet paper from my pocket.
"That's how it all got started, the War in Heaven. God created Adam, the first living human body, and he told all the spirits in Heaven to kneel to him. And at least half of them weren't too fond of that idea, and the Morning Star stepped up as representative and said they wouldn't kneel to anyone but God. And they, uh, they lost the War, and He banished them all to Earth, to wander without bodies of their own while the other side got to come to Earth one at a time, to live their lives.
"But… then there was the first murder, Abel. Cain beat him to death with a rock, and the blood on the ground, the first human blood ever shed in violence, it called to God, but He wasn't the only one it called to. The blood, it gave him a way inside of a body. Lucifer. He was the First One. He's still here, you know, I've met him. He has a particular fondness for Nia, he calls her Young One, cause according to him 1607 wasn't all that long ago."
"I guess it isn't when you're that old."
"But, back to what I was saying about Toni, all of them were packed into one place together like fucking sardines, the four boys sharing one bedroom in a two bedroom apartment, and all having vastly different personalities. Tatiana is little, like me, and I don't imagine she could do much to break them up when they got to fighting about everything from who ate all the leftovers to who got the top bunks on the beds."
"Probably not," I answered.
"I mean, I could practically smell the testosterone in their fucking apartment whenever I walked in, and it was probably even worse back then. And apparently, that had been their Dad's method of keeping them from tearing up his wife's house all the time. Whenever a problem inevitably developed, he'd just take them down to the gym and throw them in the ring without any gloves and tell them to fucking handle it, and whoever was still standing at the end was the one that won the argument.
"Uh, but, uh, when Toni hit the guy, all, all I could do was stand there with my mouth hanging open like a fucking fish. I mean, I was in love, right that fucking second, standing there. The hormones were running on overdrive, my head was practically spinning with how fast all the blood rushed south, you know? Everybody was still standing there and Antoni tried to get back in line and I said, 'Uh-uh. Take your shit and go on.' And he goes," Beccs began laughing again, laughed so hard there were tears in her eyes once more.
"He goes, 'Am I in trouble?'''
I had to wrap my left arm tight around my stomach because I couldn't stop myself from laughing either. The makeshift bandage on my left hand that I'd wound out of paper towel had soaked through, I was going to have to change it soon.
"He didn't say that, Becca."
"Yes the fuck, he did. And I went, 'No, you dumbass, it's on the house, and in case I gotta translate, that means it's free. Small price to pay for a security detail.' And he just kind of blinked at me for a second, before he nodded his head and grabbed his things off the counter, went and filled his slushy up."
"You probably scared the piss out of him for that second, he probably thought he'd been found out. That's what they call it, what he was, Obshchak, Security Group."
"He stopped before he left, and told me thank you. And I said 'No, dziękuję', thank you. And then I winked at him and said 'Miłej nocy, piękna.'" She straightened up as the train began to slow for our stop.
"And what did that mean?"
"Have a good night, gorgeous." She said with a watery grin.
"Smooth, B, real smooth. Nothing quite like hitting on a man in his native language. "
"I mean, you know us, Tony, we got Southern Hospitality down here. As long as you're not an asshole, I do everything I can to make sure everyone feels welcome when they come inside. That's why there's a sign on the door that says 'DMZ.' They might have beef on the streets but don't nobody take that shit inside my store. And that means asking the Mexicans down the street if they need a bolsa, and making sure I ordered Farid's miswaks so he didn't have to walk all the way down to the Pakistani store, and sometimes it means learning a little bit of Polish so I could flirt with the new guy downstairs the next time he came in."
We exited the train, made the switch, and stood on the platform waiting for the next to take us back to Avenue U. As I glanced to the side, I could see a puddle forming on the platform next to me, drip by drip. It was already freezing around the edges. As it turned out, I wasn't the only nosy fuck around here.
"And apparently the flirting was well received by our dearly departed half-Russian friend."
"Apparently, cause about a week later I was having a busy fucking Friday night and my Dad had already gone home, and I was trying to shut her down but motherfuckers kept coming inside right up until 11. I made DeAndre from downstairs stand at the door and tell people we were closed and that he was the last customer for the night and after I rung him up I told him to flip the sign on the door and I'd lock it when I finished my cigarette count… only, I forgot to ever lock it, and DeDe's traitorous ass, he fucking set me up. He knew I had a thing for Antoni, and when he saw him coming down off the platform and rushing down the sidewalk, he let him in and told him he was the last customer for the night and to flip the sign on the door."
She closed her eyes for a moment.
"It took me… exactly 16 minutes to notice he was there. I know, cause after I was done pissing myself when I figured out I wasn't alone, the Polish smart-ass showed me his watch. He'd set a timer when he realized I wasn't paying any attention to him, and then just stood there, waiting to see how long it would take. I had my earphones in, and it took four songs," she held up her hand and ticked them off with her fingers. "'Savage Like', 'Money, Sex, Drugs', 'Proud' and 'Only.'
"I turned around and screamed like a little bitch when I saw him. And then I got pissed, cause I was embarrassed, I'd been singing along to all the songs cause I thought I was alone in the store. I started screaming at him. 'What the fuck, you can't read? The sign says Closed.' And he goes 'No, it didn't. It still said Open. I turned it myself.' I hadn't counted down my register yet, so I just went ahead and grabbed his shit and rung him up, cussing DeDe the whole time and I asked him how long he'd been standing there, and he showed me his watch. And he says, 'You shouldn't wear those, it's dangerous,' talking about my headphones, and I said, 'What are you, my fucking father?' And he got kind of a funny look on his face."
I released a weak snicker, holding my stomach tight again. I couldn't resist fucking with them both a little bit.
"He kinda had a point, Becca. Although, I can tell you he was probably less concerned about being your father and more concerned about becoming your Daddy."
"Oh, so now you got the dirty jokes," Becca said flatly.
"What can I say, B, you're a bad influence on me."
"Eh," she said after a moment, "You wouldn't be the first. You know, months later he told me that he'd stood there that long because he didn't think he'd have the nerve to ask what he wanted to ask the next time if he left, which, you know, what the fuck? What am I, scary?"
I couldn't help but laugh again.
"Yes, Becca, you are, you're fucking terrifying half the time. You might be a short fuck but dynamite comes in small packages, you know? He was probably afraid you'd tell him to suck your dick and ban him from the store for a month like every other poor motherfucker I've seen ask you out, and he probably didn't want to go through your particular brand of ridicule in front of an audience, on top of that, with all the other customers laughing him out of the store."
"It ain't my fault I'm this size," she said after a moment, shooting me a perturbed look.
"No shit, Sherlock. It's genetics."
"It ain't even that. It's the blood. I mean, my parents were both tall, you know, for Koreans, anyway, my Mom was 5'6. I probably would've been too if I'd had the chance, but, you know, the blood it… stops things. Why do you think Jimmy looks the way he does? I mean, Pops believes in 'aging gracefully,' as he says, but old Giacomino is a vain fuck, and he's got more of a taste for 'the Stuff' than Rocco ever had. He turned 65 this year, he's only two years younger than Pops, he was already 34 years old when he met Nia for the first time. He tells people he's got a good plastic surgeon, when they ask. And the same thing happened to me. My body wanted to stay 8 years old, forever.
"Rossi had to get hormones, fucking estrogen and progesterone and HGH, off the black market to force my body to start puberty and to fucking grow. It's not like we could go to a doctor and explain why I needed the prescription. I mean, these tits aren't even mine. Ma bought 'em for my sixteenth birthday so I wouldn't feel so goddamned self-conscious. Nia's not exactly flat-chested, as you know, neither was my Mom, and it kind of gave me a fucking complex when I was growing up."
"I mean, is she? I haven't really noticed," I replied, evasively.
"Yes, you have, you lying fuck. There isn't a straight or bisexual man, or a lesbian or bisexual woman for that matter, that comes within fifty feet of Appolonia Bianchi that doesn't notice all of her unnatural charms. It made for some interesting 'family' trips during the summer when we'd leave the city, lemme tell you. I asked Pops once, you know, if he ever got jealous when she'd show up with some random dick she'd run across, cause I used to think it was pretty shitty of her.
"I said she could've at least kept things on the downlow and not throw it in Rocco's face every few days. But he told me no, he loved her, he understood her nature very well and he'd accepted what she was years before I was even born, and that she loved him too, and more importantly, respected him. She always introduced the men to him because that was what he'd asked of her. That it was the one aspect of control he had in the situation, giving his 'permission' for her little liaisons. That it made him feel better to let them know they might be getting a piece, but she'd be ending every night lying in his bed, regardless of what they did."
I nodded. "I guess I can kind of see his point."
"But, the blood, that's how I ended up pregnant. I mean, I'm not a dumbass, I know how babies are made, but I wasn't worried about using condoms with Antoni, neither of us wanted to. I told him if he gave me anything I'd cut his dick off, and he knew I was serious, too, and he considered it a proportional response. I didn't even think I could get pregnant.
"I stopped the birth control when I was 16 because it was making me gain weight and my cheer coach bitched me out in front of fucking everybody, and Rossi's guy said I needed to keep taking it to keep my hormone levels even. So I told Antoni I didnt want to get into my medical history, but suffice to say I was probably fucking sterile anyway, so he didn't have to worry about it, and he told me he wasn't worried about it at all. But apparently my fucking parts work better than I thought."
"Or maybe he had some damned determined swimmers, who knows."
"I don't know why I was even concerned about not using condoms anyway. Technically we were all excommunicated as of 2014. Pope said the mafiosi lifestyle isn't compatible with the Catholic one. You know, I wonder how Antoni would feel about all this, I wonder if he'd be pissed, think I lied to him about not being able to get pregnant."
"You're just gonna have to take my word for it, B, but he's not angry in the least, he's pretty fucking proud of hisself." I'd say his chest was stuck out but he didn't have much of a chest left these days, so I just kept that part to myself. "Pretty sure he said he wasn't worried about it because he was hoping you were wrong about being sterile."
Beccs gave me a strange look but the train arrived at just that moment. The people exiting did quite a bit of staring, unlike the people leaving the funeral, but I just tucked my arm around Becca and shouldered my way past them and found us a seat. The drops of water followed us into the train.
"What's with the present tense, Tony? Is that some kind of cliche 'he's lookin' down on you' bullshit?"
I snorted and wiped the bubble of blood from my nose, staring at the puddle of water that was starting to form in the seat next to us. I could feel the cold emanating from Antoni all along my left side. Oddly enough, it was easing the intense ache in my nearly severed ring finger.
"He ain't looking down on us, B, I can tell you that much."
"So it's a Hell joke?"
"No, not really. But then again, I'm pretty sure we're all in Hell right this second, Miss Rebecca, so yes, yes it is."
submitted by bimbo_wannabe_ to redditserials [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 06:31 Willing-Abalone482 Lack of awareness: High need babies and unsolicited/dated parenting advice

I have a high need baby and also suffers from bad sleep and feeding due to severe reflux. I try to explain it to people and I always get so much pushback, doubt, unsolicited advice, and most people think I’m just keeping him in a bubble/overprotective, or that I’m “spoiling” my 3 month old, or that he needs to learn to adjust.
We do not let him cry long because his reflux is triggered and yes it is painful for him, most times he’ll throw up the very little that he just fed. He also chokes on his vomit and turned blue once, the amount of anxiety and horror I felt is unmeasurable. He is a poor sleeper and he barely feeds the minimum amount for his age and weight because sometimes his medication just isn’t helping his reflux, so I try to keep him on sort of the best routine or schedule as much ac possible just so he won’t be too tired to feed at night because that’s when his second dose is given and able to feed with less pain.
He is easily overwhelmed and stimulated and has a hard time transitioning to sleep when he feels either. He tends to get overtired and would be too sleepy or his feeding and nap/sleep time will overlap but he only sleeps when rocked. With reflux like his we have to keep him upright at least 30 mins so he doesn’t throw up = overtired baby when it overlaps. Even as a high need baby he is pretty much on schedule with feeding and wake times, we track everything his feeding and sleep as we were asked by doctors and the worst sleep and feeding is always I MEAN ALWAYS when there was a change like visitors overstimulating him or him being up because we were out, or we’re out too long, especially when he’s been away from me too long.
I have the charts and facts to show that it is not a coincidence. I even tried lying to myself multiple times because I didn’t want to accept that my motherhood experience would be so different and limiting. (to the point my husband would remind me that if i choose to keep him up longer so i can buy a late bday cake slice ive been craving from the store coming from my baby’s drs appt that i will have a hard time for days once he is off schedule)
I’ve been trying to explain this to people so many times in the nicest way possible but they just don’t understand that I know him best and probably his pediatrician (medically speaking) and I don’t want to hear more pushback or your unsolicited advice shoved down my throat, I am so triggered especially when it’s from grandparents (older generation) and people without kids.
They find my baby so adorable (thank you) but also he is not a toy and he will cry when uncomfortable and i know when he is hungry, tired, or simply want his mama.
As a first time parent i have read and researched, articles backed by science to simply other parents’ experience because my baby is different than the “easy” babies I know and heard of. At this point I am so close to just not giving information or distancing me and my baby from other people (some friends and family) because it’s not just advice but the way they blatantly ignore my requests when it comes to the way I want to parent and my child needs to be handled.
I do not believe my baby should adjust to us parents, I believe that they cannot be spoiled the first year and they communicate by crying or a sudden change in their behaviour and response (minus growth spurts).
————————————————- I have tried almost everything and I don’t understand other people who just disregard and undermine the way I parent my own baby because even with family and other babies I’ve personally taken care of, I never felt the need to give unsolicited advice or disagree with the parent no matter how present they were during their babies’ growth.
I do not want to shelter my baby heck I want a break and want to stay out longer and have him get used to family and friends, I actually invite them myself to see/play with him but most of them just completely disregard my requests regarding my baby and it’s simple things like to not be too loud, give him when he cries, do no force feed him as he associates his pain from reflux with feeding and will go through bottle aversion/refusal again, do not shake him, keep him upright. try to be calm and don’t let him watch tv.
I am not a helicopter mom and I always leave so they don’t feel weird that I’m watching them and baby and just pop in to check every now and then.
But I am So Tired of repeating myself, only to get pushback or feel disrespected. I want my baby to have a good relationship with his family and our friends (ps they’re all my husbands relatives and friends and i feel like they do not take me seriously and i have no family here in the US since I just moved here right before Covid so no one advocates for me)
They don’t want to understand how difficult it gets for me when he is overwhelmed right now. I know he’ll grow out of it and I am slowly easing him into new things so he doesn’t keep associating them as bad and refuse it. I just want to be selfish and feel like the only way to advocate for me and my baby is to distance ourselves.
submitted by Willing-Abalone482 to Parenting [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 06:19 NJ-Khoury I'm just fed up with all this (moving back home as a disabled person)

TW is for mentions of abuse and sexual assault, no intense descriptions.
I spent my 20s bouncing around living situations because my mom died without warning right before my High School graduation. We grew up dirt poor and I found out a few years ago that she was months behind on rent too, but the house was owned by my grandparents or else we would have been homeless.
A little over a decade later, I found out that a cousin had been pulling the strings behind the scenes and manipulated my grandfather to change over his will. I didn't find out about this until everything was all said and done. My college fund was taken as well, since it was in my mom and grandmother's name, so he got control of it. My cousin even got the house I was told in my teens that I would likely inherit.
The ONLY thing that didn't get stolen through elder abuse was an irrevocable trust set up in the early 90s by my grandparents. I'm the beneficary, and a certified financial planner who has been a friend of the family since the 80s is the trustee. Basically, I can't get money out of it on my own, I have to go through her and she's legally obligated to act in my best interests. Apparently, there was SOME money my cousin didn't know about that went into the trust per my grandmother's will. However, I'm no "trust fund baby". I can't go out and buy luxury items let alone rely on the Trust to pay all my living expenses for the rest of my life.
Here's another wonderful kicker: I'm disabled physically and mentally. Autism spectrum, PTSD, generalized anxiety and major depression (likely related to the trauma and distress over the years). I was born with stickler Syndrome, which is a degenerative connective tissue disorder. Marfan and Ehlers Danlos are more well-known but fall under the same general umbrella, but Stickler is basically that your body doesn't produce collagen correctly, leading to bone, heart, vision, and hearing problems varying in degree from person to person.
I already have severe enough joint problems that physical therapy can't fix. I have fissures, cysts, and completely worn down cartilage and I'm only in my early 30's. I can't walk or stand for more than 20 minutes without severe pain and risk of falls, and I'm not supposed to use stairs frequently. Even sitting for more than 4hrs a day with breaks causes pain.
I've also been having neurological issues including 24+hr headaches and week+ long vertigo that seems to crop up randomly (even today, I was staring right at my laptop screen when I suddenly felt like I was drunk for no reason) and am awaiting an appointment for imaging tests and possibly Multiple Sclerosis testing. All of these things- diagnosed and not yet diagnosed combined, primary care doctors and therapists have agreed that I should be on social security and shouldn't exacerbate some of my conditions by continuing to work (unless I can find something that's fully accommodating).
I grew up in PA but bounced all around during my housing instability. The year before Covid, I was put back into housing instability when my housemate could no longer afford her inherited home and had to sell, so I had to leave the first stable and SAFE home I'd had in almost a decade, and my accommodating job as a result. I struggled to find that stability again, and while Covid was the first time I felt like I wasn't under pressure to find that stability immediately (I was living with a friend) it did fuck up my chances of finding employment once things started opening up again. My friend wanted his rec room back and told me I needed to move out (something he says he now regrets doing, but I understand). My only option was to move with an online friend in CA.
That went spectacularly, by which I mean he turned out to be incredibly histrionic and unstable and almost rendered me homeless. Other online friends helped shack me up in a motel and then let me couch crash for a bit. I ended up losing half my stuff including things from my mom and all my art from the past decade, because he kept changing the goalposts on how and when I could come get my stuff, and technically I was living with him off his lease, and didn't want to render him and his 7yo homeless by trying to take legal action.
My partner is one of his former best friends. Former because he's completed disgusted by what was done to me, and has heard a lot of flat-out lies from this person as to what happened. Shit like saying "multiple therapists warned me about him" to make me look like a terrible person, when 1. He only had 1 therapist and she moved out of network 2 months before this went down so he had none. 2. Feeding a patient's negative thoughts about someone based on hearsay and conjecture is a MASSIVE liability and something any therapist worth their salt knows not to do.
I was working night audit at a small hotel from February of last year until December, when I was immediately pulled and put on state disability by my primary care doctor after a fall while I was alone at work. California's state disability aid is based off taxed income, so there's a limit to how long you can use it. Mine runs out July 1st and after that I have no income and can't work. In CALIFORNIA. A lot of our homeless are disabled because it's so impossible to live in this state if you can't work full time.
I will be applying for SSI, but up until last February, I had NO medical records due to not being able to afford health insurance or stay in one place long enough for appointments. I had my PTSD and depression diagnosis, but not even records of my Stickler birth defect. You need ample documentation to apply for Social Security, and with a rare birth defect and specialists often having to be scheduled months in advance, that's not quick and easy task. I'll FINALLY be applying late this summer.
I acknowledge I'm WAY luckier than most people in my situation, because of the Trust, but that's where my current hurdles are. Like I said, I can't just pull from it willy-nilly, which I'm grateful for in some ways as panic-spending might have depleted me a while ago.
Back in April, the Trustee said that I could get a mobile home in a park back home in east PA, up to 75k$ budget. There are homes in that range, but I also have to keep in mind location and lot rent. With SSI being 914$ federally (PA has no state supplement), obviously I can't go for a park with a 800+ lot rent even with assistance programs like SNAP and LIHEAP. PA isn't a rent capped state thanks to a lot of legislators owning rental properties, so landlords can legally increase rent by a hundred per year (and they have). Ever since the housing crisis, mobile home parks have become the affordable option, and some parks have been bought up by corporations who are trying to price out Social Security recipients so they can get more money from people trying to get out of apartment living but who can afford lot rents closer to apartment rent costs.
Today, my top choice home got scooped up, and the Trustee is saying that she would rather I move back and rent so I can go see the mobile homes in person rather than relying on a local friend to do the tour with me on video call. Which, yes, I agree, except...
How the fuck am I supposed to do that when no apartment- independently or company owned- will rent to me when I am not employed and my only source of income is an irrevocable Trust? My credit score is 684 and climbing, I have no debt history, my current housemates can vouch for me in terms of cleanliness, respect, and always paying rent in advance. Even with all that, landlords want things like last two pay stubs, proof of 2-3x rent in stable income, or someone else who has those things to be on the lease with me.
Room rentals? Also borderline impossible. It took me almost half a year to find my current room rental. I have a cat with an ESA letter, but that doesn't allow me past no pets policies in most room rentals. I also got ghosted more than half a dozen times when I was talking with someone about a rental and then informed them I'm transgender, which could be anything, but I'm willing to wager more often than not it was discriminatory. My physical disability also means I can't get anything that requires frequent stair use, like a basement or upper level room rental, or one of the many split-level historic homes that have been converted into the only low-income apartments in the area. There's even apartment buildings so old they don't legally need to have elevators.
Section 811 exists for disabled folks, but county and city housing agency I contacted either doesn't have it, or it requires you to already be in crisis and unhoused. Senior centers can accept up to 20% resident population that's non-elderly but disabled, but either have NYC luxury apartment prices because of the amenities, or a huge buy-in.
I'm just so. Utterly fucking exhausted.
I spent most of my formative adult years just trying to get stability, while spending my formative childhood years in deep poverty with a mother whose mental health was deeply impacted by a stroke she suffered when I was 16 who laid her hands on my throat once, would alternate between being a loving "hip" mom and screaming at me over mundane bullshit, and would constantly tell me that she could have another stroke and die if I upset her. In my housing instability, I've been sexually assaulted, verbally harassed, or just lived with couples who were constantly fighting.
I want a stable and safe home where I'm not at risk of having to move within ten years. Housing in general is ridiculous, but it's like for us disabled folks, unless we have family or a spouse to live with? Not even the housing options meant to keep us from ending up homeless are available.
I already have my plane ticket (fully refundable) back home for September 9th since I had to book early to get a good deal and lock in my cat's registration for the flight.
I'm just worried that even though I have an opportunity a lot of struggling people don't, I won't even be able to get anything.
If I'm being forced to find a rental, it would be a miracle if I find something in time that won't turn me away for having a cat, relying on Trust for income, being queer, or being unable to use stairs.
I don't want to settle for a mobile home, but likewise, I honestly just want safety and stability. I don't care if it's fucking grandma floral wallpaper and 70's bicolour shag carpet everywhere. It's mine, and the Social security administration is going to force me to spend before I hit 2k$ in assets anyway, may as well throw an entire Lowe's at it.
I know this is a lot, and I honestly don't expect anyone to read it, but I'm so fucking tired and I just want stability before I die (of old age or health, since I guess I'm genetically per-disposed to breast cancer and strokes on top of the rest of all this shit).
submitted by NJ-Khoury to Vent [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 06:17 Asterisk_King Racial flight IS overpowered, and all of these counterarguments are wrong:

Whenever someone complains about flying you get a number of counterpoints that sort of ignore the bigger picture, and it's hard to force myself to take into account all the details in one go. So here they are as I see them, many of the counterpoints against flying being overpowered and why I disagree with them.
You may find that not all of them are true in your mind, but disproving one or two of these is not enough proof do do away with the issue.
📒Knocked prone = falling to death
Yikes. People treat this like some sort of Mike drop moment This makes combat extremely swingy. So we go from flying being overpowered to nearly instant death. This almost feels like it's a massive punishment to flying so in all honesty most would not suggest using this type of thing too frequetly at the risk of being accused of specifically targeting that character (you will be). Players might even say that they are fine with it ahead of time. But they rarely hold to that when the time comes.
Additionally, the ways you can limit someone's speed are often specific and limited. It's not like these abilities never appear, but if all the sudden they do then that's going to be a giveaway
That is unless you use it sparingly. But if you do... It will barely be useful anyway.
However, this also assumes that the character in question is both in range and has weak enough saves that can be targeted. Things like nets and bolas in my experience both never see play and are weak... When someone is even in range. 20/60 range for a bola? You're going to be attacking for disadvantage for sure. Might as well shoot a bow. And the save is only 10 strength? Assuming a character with +0 strength modifier and saves, and assuming you are shooting at disadvantage (bolas) you can at max expect to hit half the time and the save with only fail half the time. That's 1/4 chance to actually do anything if you can line up a shot. Just shoot some arrows at the guy.
What about walloping arrows? Firstly, I didn't know those existed until some tried to argue about using them on flying characters. Seeing as I've never seen these used before, I would 100% accuse you of targeting me if you whipped this out on me as a player. Never seen it before and will probably never see it again. It's like it's tailor made for flying characters... Still a DC 10. Maybe you'll get knocked, eventually.
If I'm not mistaken fall damage is 1d6 per 10 feet. If that's the case then a character flying at at level of 15ft above ground isn't in that much danger. That means if they did fall they'd be taking 1d6 fall damage and if you REALLY have to be petty about it then that would be 2d6 at max. The average damage there being 7 damage. Now if you are in the business of cheesing flying characters, they will learn real quick that this is the sweet spot of where to be to avoid any real damage punishment.
You might say that this is really risky at low levels and I would say DUHH. You could die at level one to being spit on by a llama my guy. However, this will be only after your speed reaches zero or after you are knocked prone. If the net result of that is 7 damage the you might as well just shoot at them or throw a rock or something.
Additionally, as you move up the levels this amount of damage is negligible
Lastly, this only solves a part of the problem. It can only really be applied to combat. Anything else and it generally doesn't work
📒Use ranged weapons Oh nah! It's not that simple.
Firstly let's recognize that as of last year only about a third of the monsters in the monster manual and the additional books have ranged options. And for most of them that do, the ranged options are weaker.
Now I know what you're saying: but the DM should snap his magic God of creation fingers to give almost every monster and enemy a longbow, and that the terrasque should magically have access to infinite massive boulders to throw with the exact same pdr as his whopping five melee attacks.
This effects everyone, not just the flying character. The reason so few monsters have decent ranged options is to make them come close and pose a threat personally. To solve this problem, a lot of enemies would need their ranged options added or buffed and they would have to be strong enough to he worth it -- otherwise it's mathematically easier to just jump the characters allies.
Even worse is if we actually give the enemies these buffs. Now all the sudden melee Martial builds are even more garbage than they already are. If ranged attacks have no mathematical opportunity cost to use, there is no reason for enemies to risk hp and such to come into close range.
Do you know who doesn't need melee viability? Casters. BOOM! You've literally made caster comparatively more powerful. most spells are ranged anyway, and some of those ranges are huge even without spell sniper. They probably don't care that much.
The worst issue here is that we now expect the DM to do EVEN MORE work than he already has. This will be one of many excuses to add to the workload of the DM. it certainly won't be the last in this campaign. The goal of running the game isn't just to make a good experience. It's also about doing that without breaking your back needlessly. DMs don't always need to be coached on the million and one ways they can solve a problem. The just need less problems.
📒 weather
Yes. This is an incredible solution that makes sense and isn't hard implemented. I actually love this one except for two issues. Firstly, it's extremely circumstantial. It can't be bad weather all the time, unless you set it up in a really believable way. Additionally, it doesn't work indoors or in caves unless you to some real bending over backwards. For what it's worth though it's a good and easy solution when it applies... Unless you make it subject to an easy save.
📒 Don't ignore strength
This actually helps the issue, however it's not a magic cure all. It also reopens the dialogue on why people ignore strength to begin with. Probably because it... Makes the game more complicated. Still though I think it helps to prevent the flyer from using strength based abilities or carrying things. If he isn't doing much of that, or if he's a caster or has a back like or caravan it largely doesn't matter.
Whole we're on the subject, pray the flying character isn't a caster. Even if you think neither is overpowered, putting two nearly overpowered qualities together won't end in something balanced.
📒But horses are equally useful.
You kiss you mother with that lying mouth? majority of players don't even use horses for obvious reasons. Barely any hp, can't attack on the same turn. Goodness forbid the horse has to make any form of save. Any combat involving a horse of non boss monster variety results in the horse being the first to go down. really easy way to depower an enemy. Where as flying characters can fly until zero hp, a player with a horse only has it until it dies. And that bad boy doesn't respawn like in a video game. And please don't pretend that land travel at high speeds is equally as useful as flying. It is obviously terrain dependant, where a flying person can avoid ground bound obstacles, horsey boy has to go around them, spending however much movement is required. Ground bound traps effect a horse as well. How well can your horse climb? A flying character has perfect climbing skills... Because they are immune to having to do it! Can your horsey boi swim across a surface of water to get to the other side? Probably not better than my wings that can fly across.
📒 Familiars are equally useful
Firstly it's not the same. Maybe nerf those too? Classic example of something many DMs find tedious to work around. Not absolute in it's power, but it is incredibly annoying on a great deal of fronts. Naming some other thing that gets under peoples skin doesn't make them both less problematic. Moreover, flying is still easily worse.
📒 It only solves problems for one character
What ever the hell that means. People behave as if this wasn't immediately apparent. As if other players not having it magically negates it's usefulness? If only one player is playing a class that this overpowered, does that magically discredit it's lack of balance. Why is this argument exclusively used for flying?
Moreover, players not being able to be hit by some things will just put more pressure on those who can.
This also brings up an entirely separate problem that compounds with it. Some players agency is actually too high. That sounds crazy I no know, but many players -- specifically casters -- have so much utility, damage potential, social interaction spells and whatever else, that they can basically just run off on their own and do whatever unchecked. I've seen plenty of occurances of caster players just ditching the rest of the party to do solo mumbo jumbo, solving every problem they come across by snapping their fingers to cast a spell. Fly makes this worse because that's a whole level three spell for free, and increases their incentive to do so because it's costless and doesn't need concentration. Even on a Martial build it further incentives people to go off on their own -- especially if the other players can't follow anyway. People think that the flying player is just going to stand around like an NPC or only go somewhere if the others can follow, when in reality they will fully utilize that moment to become a main character.
📒Narrow spaces People use these arguments all the time, and in theory they make sense. However there aren't mechanics for this. There is no listed wingspan in any flying race. That's a recipe for debate. Because if a player who really, really wants to fly(aka every character that has flight) sees you making these excuses that don't exist in the game then their patience for that will be very very limited.
📒Low ac, can't wear good armor
This has always been funny as an argument. Like heavy armor is just the bestest thing to have graced the table. But it's simply not. Not the best but remember in most cases you will literally be immune to melee, which gives you an incredible EFFECTIVE increase to ac if you stop to think about it. If you are a caster then this is worse. My guy the idea of casters being squishy has always been a lie anyway. Some of them already get decent armor options independent of heavy armor. Casters also get mage armor and shield, and misty step. Their effective ac is great if they are slightly prepared. Add ranged attacks to both of these and you are in a stupendous spot.
📒 All combat takes place indoors or underground.
This is actually categorically untrue. In my personal experience this is actually the opposite. However this is something that ultimately varies tremendously and is therefore not a valid solution. Sometimes it will be that way and sometimes it won't. Moreover, it's not as off all indoors encounter happen just below ceiling level. If the ceiling is 15 feet up fliers can reliably just effectively hang out on the ceiling. And if not, just staying above the space directly behind an ally solves this issue. If the ceiling is lower than 10 feet then this may actually be countered, but it's not a given that it will be.
Not ever indoor or cave dungeon is narrow and cramped. In my experience there have been plenty of open and sprawling spots because worrying about positioning is a massive headache.
I would also like to take this moment to remind everyone that combat is not necessarily the main issue with flying.
📒Casters counter them 1. Casters counter everyone, assuming they have the proper spells. 2. Casting technically isn't that common. 3. Okay, so now nearly all of my encounters must have casters? Often many encounters are centered around circumstance that causes the creatures and their conditions to vary wildly. Now I have to ignore all that just to challenge this one player?
📒 Don't challenge them. Just let them be overpowered.
This has always been silly. Even in a game where players basically demand to be overpowered, this isn't always as universally good as it sounds. I can prove it too... Because all forms of game balance in dnd and otherwise assume this isn't the case. So why are we changing our minds now. Seriously, a game almost entirely designed around combat and exploration, and both of those things are held up by bubblegum and boxtape? Not memorable. Might be fun cheesing the first dozen encounters or puzzles but eventually there will not be anything gained from it. Moreover, not every player even wants that! It might just be one out of four or six.
Moreover I feel like catering to this idea too much is deceptively toxic. Wanting to be powerful is not the same thing as not having a challenge. If a player wants to be strong with zero challenge then that player is low-key being sort is spineless. Play another game, or accept that you might have to think about your actions and your strategies to at least some extent. I run the type of game that if you at least have two braincells and use them you will probably be fine. Only players that have failed at my table or the ones that want excessive handouts. And it's arguments like these that sort of out people for not really wanting to underact with the came. Just circumnavigate it.
📒 This is only a problem at low levels
Also a lie. People say that because wizards get to use the fly spell at level 5 then that means natural flight is only overpowered until they get to do it. Except that's not really how it works.
Casters get the fly SPELL. It takes one level three spell slot minimum, same as fireball. Flying races don't spend any spell slots. Their fuel economy is unrivaled.
Casters get it for ten minutes. Flying races get it literally forever. Their endurance is unparalleled.
Casters have to use their concentration on the spell, and if they get hit they risk losing it just from taking damage. Flying races use no additional action economy, and don't risk falling just from taking damage. They are da biggest bird.
But let's be frank. What is overpowered is not determined based purely on itself. Often times, a specific combination of abilities is what makes it overpowered.
As you know, casters are extremely powerful. Some of them also don't use medium or heavy armor anyway. So there is already synergy here. Most casters have an overwhelming abundance or ranged moves to use. Sounds like it would be useful for something that rarely has adjacent enemies.
Now, nevermind the fact that flying as a racial trait is stronger that having it as a 3rd level spell. But! What if the already unnecessarily powerful wizards chooses the be a flying race? That would mean that they have an infinite 3rd level spell, resoursless, and they can use it to solves problems and avoid damage (both things that their spell list is designed to do) WITHOUT USING SPELL SLOTS OR CONCENTRATION. That's right, that means they can cast another concentration spell, effectively casting two concentration spells at once. There will never be an opportunity cost or major risk to casting fly again.
Wizards normally don't during battle because it costs a 3rd level slot and getting hit might mean you lose it anyway. These are now no longer issues, on top of casting a whole nother spell of concentration if need be.
Now, the overpowered option is even more overpowered.
📒 "Well, I have flying in my party and it's not overpowered because [DM put in significant extra effort adding in a bunch of stuff to stop if from being a solution to every problem]"
This is pretty much an admission that it's overpowered. If I have to warp the entirety of encounter design, level design, and puzzles to account for flying, it's classically overpowered. This is what we call a centralizing force. Generally speaking, features or abilities in a game that overly centralize the meta around stopping them are explicitly overpowered. This is actually the perfect example of a centralizing force in DND. You don't have to be omnipotent to be overpowered. Just excessively more overpowered than you need to be. Having counters is not disproof of being overpowered.
Additionally, anything that drastically expands my work load is overpowered. Deal with it, because I sure won't.
📒We play for fun at my table
You play for DM headaches more like it. We can have fun without breaking the DMs back. Stop advocating for the players so much that you disrespect the DM position
📒Yeah? Well I'm a DM and I have no issues with doing the work. Other DMs are just laszy!
You are an exception. Just because we can do the work doesn't mean we think it's worth it. I am absolutely meticulous enough to run this game. But largely I just don't think it's worth it. And most don't either. That's why there are so few DMs. Because people wag their fingers at the DMs that are reluctant to break their back over everything little ability or spell that the game would be perfectly fine without, the game as a whole suffers.
A few more things to remember:
📘 Your dm is probably in denial if he says this isn't an issue
This happens all the time in my experience. A session could actively be going up in flames and the DM or the player producing the issue will be shrugging their shoulders pretending nothing went wrong. I've seen games reached a screeching halt and be discontinued because of how difficult the players or their abilities were to handle, only to have the DM refuse to acknowledge that, or deny that there mishandling had any effect in the situation. Then I watch them make a new campaign and do it again.
📘Your dm is probably bending over backwards solving the problem. So if you don't encounter this problem, then this is why.
📘 People refuse to consider the amount of additional work for the DM. Even DMs have been conditioned the think this way. This is stupid, and the primary reason we have a DM shortage as it is now.
📘The worst issue here is that this ability seems to interrupt some specific DM styles more than others. This leads to DMs that aren't specifically having their styles countered will not take the issue as seriously. Just like how a DM who wants an adventure designed around a special plague will he annoyed when the paladin starts slapping key characters with lay on hands instead of going to find the plot hook mcguffin or negotiating for a cure.
TLDR: Flying is busted, and the DMs well-being is objectively more valuable than this measly ability. Remove one to maintain the other.
Edit: I love how people say "just ban it and be done with it" like people haven't been cooked and chastised for doing that for years on this sub. Like if you're out of arguments then say so LMAO.
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2023.05.28 06:14 Ashleybaby87 Asking for help after a long fall from grace.

I’m not the type to ask for help. I’ve never actually needed help until now. But after a long fall from grace, it’s time to put my pride aside and ask for help.
When I was 17, I joined the US Army. I didn’t join to serve my country or any other patriotic reason, I joined because I came from a super poor family, and I knew that I wanted better for myself. And boy did I get it! I traveled the world, and on my 2nd tour in Iraq, ended up severely injured, and ended up getting out on a medical discharge. I was last stationed at Fort Knox in Kentucky, and I liked the area so much I decided to stay. With no idea what to do with the rest of my life, I started looking into joining the medical field. I became a CNA. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was working too hard for too little money, especially since I already had a bad back injury. So I used my GI Bill and went to college. Eventually, I ended up with a Masters in Nursing. Took 5 years, but was definitely worth it. I ended up moving to New York and stayed up there for about 12 years. I made amazing money, and had a great life. If there was something I wanted, I bought it. I went on vacations, cruises, had several vehicles I paid cash for, and owned a beautiful home that was paid for. I shared my wealth when able. If someone needed help, I’ve always done what I could. I worked as a Director of Nursing in a hospital up there. When Covid hit, I was one of the first to volunteer to go to NYC to help on the front lines. I loved my job and helping other people. One day at work, I hit my head on a metal box that was mounted to the wall. I was sent for a MRI. The doctors found a lesion on my brain, unrelated to me hitting my head. A few months passed, and I started experiencing some intermittent confusion, and extreme fatigue. Then the pain started. It would hurt my feet and legs so bad to walk, that I could barely stand. I started seeing a neurologist. After tons of testing, a spinal tap, MRIs, you name it, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I was supposed to go to the neurologist to get started on something for it the following Monday morning, but tragedy struck that Saturday night when my entire house burned to the ground while I was at the grocery store. The entire house was a total loss. Not being from New York, I had no family to stay with, and ended up having to move back to North Carolina with family. After getting here, my MS progression sped up. I started seeing a neurologist here, and was told that my MS is the Primary Progressive type, which is bad news. Unable to work, I filed for Social Security Disability. A year passed, during which I used up all my savings, and ended up moving in with my mom. They denied my claim without ever obtaining my medical records from New York. I submitted an appeal, and they denied that as well, without ever getting all my medical records. So I collected all my medical records myself, and contacted a lawyer. I have a hearing coming up, and I will be approved once I see a judge solely based on my rapid decline since applying. I can’t walk without crutches anymore. I can’t control my bladder, the fatigue has gotten so bad that I can sleep 16 hours without a problem. Now, I’m always in severe pain because I’ve got neuropathy throughout both feet, legs, hands, and arms. I’m going blind. My feet are contracted and I wear special shoes and see a specialist just for that. My pancreas decided to stop functioning right, and I have a insulin pump now, with a implant that monitors my sugar every minute and makes sure I don’t drop or spike. I see a specialist for that as well. On top of that, I’ve got rheumatoid arthritis, so my joints and bones are affected, while the MS screws with my muscles. I have severe muscle cramps and spasms all the time. And they hurt. Bad. The muscles in my legs are atrophied to the point where I have no reflexes anymore. As I said, it’s been a long fall from grace for me to end up here. I went from having everything, including great health, to having nothing and being completely crippled in 3 years. All while waiting for disability to approve me and pay out. They now owe me 2 full years of backpay. I qualify for full benefits from the Army, and I have more than enough work credits for fill retirement. But I still haven’t worked or had any income since I’m unable to. I’ve been basically living off my mom, who is also disabled and can barely take care of herself. Food stamps helps with food a little, but it never lasts all month. I have medications that I have to have and even with Medicaid, I still have a copay. I’ve borrowed from everyone I can, which isn’t much because as I said above, I came from a very poor family, and even though that had changed for me, it didn’t change for them. I’m right back where I started.
I typed all this to show that I am a actual person, with a legitimate reason for being in this situation. There’s nothing I can do about it at this moment, except ask for help. If there’s anything you can do to help, please message me. If you can donate anything, anything at all to help, I’d appreciate it more than you know. Transportation to appointments, medication copays, food, things needed to survive, are all too expensive for someone with nothing.
My Cashapp Cashtag is: @DimebagDesigns
Feel free to message me if you want to talk or have any questions.
And thank for reading my long post.
submitted by Ashleybaby87 to MoneyMaking [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 06:11 onebuddyforlife Reincarnated Into Another World As A Dicemaster Prologue

I rested my chin on the palm of my hand, overlooking the serene, green scenery of the rice fields outside of my classroom. The mountains stood tall and unmoving from afar, dividing the clouds that pass through its summit. I sigh in relaxation, appreciating the peaceful surroundings that one cannot find in the cities.
I snapped out of my quiet trance as a small truck carrying hay passed by the road, and I once again noticed the faint yet consistent mashes of buttons coming from my only friend in the province. Since our teacher announced that she had to leave class early, leaving us in class for the rest of our last period today, my friend over to my right has been playing the newly released game nonstop. The new MMORPG game, Alterra.
My blonde-haired friend Hirato was playing on a portable gaming console. His back has been arched towards the console for the past 15 minutes, his eyes are practically glued to the console’s screen. I inched my seat toward him to take a closer look. He was trying to defeat a monster resembling a three-headed snake—a Hydra. His character’s health was one hit away from hitting zero, but the Hydra was practically undamaged.
“Hey, Hirato,” I called him. “How long are you going to play that game?”
“Awww, I died!” He says exasperatedly, leaning back on his chair in annoyance. “I’ve been trying to beat this boss since yesterday and there’s no luck at all! I even have my gear maxed out for this level, and still...”
Hirato continued speaking as he packed his console into his backpack, “I wouldn’t have any problem at all had you continued playing video games with me. You could help me beat the boss, you know."
Then, Hirato started to make some "drama" in a weird, playful manner. "Come on, Naruki! We were best buddies since we were kids! Whatever must have happened between us, my best friend?” The bell rings across the school building, indicating the end of classes for the day. At the same time, I made a disgusted look at him after saying something corny that must have come from some TV show.
“Stop it with that little skit of yours. We are still best buddies, but I’ve grown up from playing games. Remember, we’re going to college next year and I’ve been preparing for it ever since.” I grabbed my bag from beneath my seat, and just as I stood up, the wooden plank I stood on creaked.
"That's not true, and there's no way you'll pass up on an MMORPG like Alterra! There's no way you stopped playing just for college." Hirato claimed, but he quickly switched into a pondering tone. “Though you made me think about college. You want to go to Tokyo University from what I recall, but I thought you were tired of the city because it’s too crowded there?” He asked.
“It’ll give me a greater chance to get hired for a job with a high salary. My dad also said that it takes some time to get used to the city when I’ve been living all my life in the rice fields.” I ignored Hirato's first statement--but it's true. There's no way I can quit gaming, so I lied to him about it, but I also don't want to take precious time off when I'm studying for a test that will literally decide my future.
“You’re already thinking of your future far ahead.”
“Well, do you want to stay in this school?”
As I took another step towards the door, the wood plank creaked again, filling the short silence in Hirato’s pause.
“...You make a point.” He uttered in agreement.
My school was a single-story building with multiple rooms, occupied by a few students in different grades. To add, we were also the only third-year high school students in the school. Everything here is made of thin wood and paper, and the wooden flooring creaked ever so often that if we step on it the wrong way, it might literally collapse the floor. This building was so old that I’d be having a family reunion with the souls of my family from five generations ago every school day.
The cool breeze of the late afternoon blew toward us as we made our way to the paved dirt road.
"By the way, Hirato."
"Hm?"
"I lied. I'm actually playing Alterra. Since it released."
"Wha-- Then why won't you play co-op with me?!" Hirato was almost screaming in my face, taken aback by my lie.
"Because you're stupid. Why would you cast "Damage Reflect" on Hydra's one-turn kill when you're barely alive? Plus, it won't even damage the Hydra because the game recognizes the reflected damage as an effect, and the boss is immune to any effect."
"Urgh... Watch me beat that Hydra tomorrow, you'll regret not playing with me!"
"Do your best, Hirato. See you tomorrow," I sarcastically said to him as I watched my best friend run to his home, probably excited to try out what I just said. After all, I'm way past his level, so I can't even play with him without ruining his casual experience. It's time to go home for me as well, but the next bus stop is an hour from now. Maybe I'll play for a bit while waiting.
It was the scent of fresh air and the quiet atmosphere that separates urban life from rural life. Most people prefer convenience, while the minority prefer peacefulness. I'm part of the latter, but I still want to get a job in the city. Even if I'm still unsure what I wanted to be in the future.
“Hey, you brat!” A faint, old man’s voice screamed from the rice fields beside the paved road. “Watch out, the ground is dangerous there! Didn’t you see the sign?!”
My thoughts were cut off as I heard him shout at me with great urgency. After my eyes dart to the old man, I abruptly turn to see that there was a sign on the side of the road on both sides that said [ENTRY CLOSED]. Why wasn’t there any blockage? But it was my fault for not paying close attention to my surroundings.
“I’m sorry, mister. I didn’t see it earlier.” I apologized in a nonchalant manner, mostly because I still didn't realize the gravity of the situation at this time.
“Let go of your bag. Climb over the fence towards me. Now,” says the man.
While I didn’t know what could be so dangerous about this road that warrants an urgent reaction, I trusted him. But before I could even drop my bag, the ground starts to sink with me in the center.
It was only then that fear started to settle within me. My heart sank from my inability to do anything as my mind tried to process what was happening and what was about to befall. My legs shook from the sinking ground as well, to control my balance. I cannot feel the center of gravity in my feet anymore.
In a desperate attempt to escape from the sinking ground, I jumped, trying to outrun the sinking before I go along with it.
Yet it was too late.
The ground crumbled beneath me, revealing a sinkhole. All the adrenaline in my body surges instantly, slowing down time and making the fall to my imminent death seem like an eternity. The rocks from the ground begin to break apart and fall as if it wants to bury me as well if I wasn't dead yet from the fall.
Strangely enough, I thought that when my time comes, I’ll accept Death and warmly embrace it, but it’s too soon and unfair. My arms are both outstretched to the sunlight above, as my mind screams, “I don’t want to die yet!”
The falling rocks fully cover the sunlight as I fully plunge into the darkness, and along it with me as well. Thankfully with the darkness blinding what seems to be my body being crushed and mutilated by the heavy rocks, it only felt like I fell asleep, never to wake up again.
Good night, world.
My eyes slowly fluttered open to a familiar ceiling; particularly, my bedroom. The dark blue-painted star walls and the transparent curtain were both familiar, yet in front of me was some child using my computer. The window outside is also blindingly bright which made it seem impossible to peek outside.
“Um...” I didn’t know what else to say, so I tried to get the young girl’s attention
“Mhmhm!” A proud, laughing sneer came from the child. Still sitting on my gaming chair, she turned around to face me, her shoulders crossed and an arrogant expression that ticks me off for some reason.
“Welcome to the afterlife, Naruhaya Tabito. I have chosen you to–wait, who the FUCK are you?!” Her arrogant expression transforms into a mix of confusion, panic, and surprise after she opened her eyes.
“I should be the one saying that!” I exclaimed back, but I did not get a response because she quickly turned to the monitor. Upon standing up from my bed, I notice that the sounds of mouse clicking and keyboard pressing were all attributed to her--playing Alterra?
If this was the afterlife... It didn't look too bad. The events that transpired earlier haven’t registered in my mind yet.
“Hey, am I really dead?” I asked her.
The young girl was typing before she exclaimed in panic, “No no no...! You’re really dead! I killed the wrong person!”
“I see.” I didn’t know how to react to my death, but I also didn't feel sad or sentimental. I didn’t have much going on in the real world before I died, after all.
The young girl paused her game as she turned around to face me. “It’s because you aren’t supposed to die! I may have pressed your name accidentally while I was looking for a suitable candidate in the Living Database...” She sighs as she sinks into her chair. “Well, I suppose it’s not that big of a deal.”
The girl stood on the gaming chair, clad in a red-colored robe with a two-pointed hat that almost resembled horns. Her red-toned eyes glinted with the light of the bright window.
“Naruki Haruhito, sit,” With one downward motion of her finger, I immediately felt a strong, compelling force that made me sit on the bed.
“My name is Filya, and I am the Goddess of Creation! Your Creator, and the One Above All!” She introduces herself with her arms crossed. It appears to me that she was trying to act superior and intimidating, but her haughty attitude, matched with her small stature, made it seem like she really was someone’s kid lost in my bedroom who was cosplaying as an anime character.
“You’re a child,” Even at this point in the afterlife, I do not believe her being the world’s creator for a bit.
“Wha–” Filya is taken aback by what I said. “I'm not a child, I'm a goddess! Respect and worship me, you dimwitted mortal, should you desire not to die a second time and leave your soul wandering in the empty void of space.”
While she was speaking, I couldn't move a single inch from the bed. Even if she was a goddess, it's impossible not to take her seriously because she looks like a child scolding her older brother.
Filya raised two fingers before saying, “As a token of apology for wrongfully smiting you, I’ll give you two choices. First choice: You can return back to the real world as a baby of a rich family, and you will be a prodigy who will basically have an easy life from that period until his death of old age. Of course, you won’t remember everything that happened here and in your past life. But that’s basically the same as having a guaranteed GAME CLEAR, in your terms.”
Having an assured future was my long-term goal when I was alive back then. It seemed like a compelling idea until I heard about the second choice.
“Second choice: You will be reincarnated in another world with all your memories intact, and I will grant you a power unique only to you, and it will help you fulfill the condition that comes with this choice.”
Curious, I ask her what the condition is.
“The condition?” A crooked smirk appeared on her face, turning her haughty tone into something vicious. “Conquer the world.”
My eyes widened in surprise, the weight of her words starting to add to my fear-turned-excitement.
“There is a prophecy in this world that if the reincarnation of Typhon–the cataclysmic world-ending being of the past–attains something of unimaginable power and influence, he will destroy the world.”
Filya speaks with complete urgency, “You must conquer the world to stop Typhon’s reincarnation from attaining such power because, at this point, no one in this world is showing promise to become the world’s strongest."
After a small pause, I asked her, "What do you mean?"
"The throne is empty and he can take it anytime.”
After she finished explaining, I was given some time to think about my decision.
A safe, fulfilled, and assured life? Or a dangerous life with a chance for absolute glory?
I could never pass up on this opportunity, I said to myself, and I thought I'd never hesitate. I can return back to the real world and be born to rich parents. I’d have tasty food to eat every day, get the games I want, and in the future, I’d die of old age with my life fully satisfied and fulfilled until the very end. While my life in provincial Japan was a bit bland and boring at times, it was a life I'd want to return back to.
But the concept of determinism disgusts me.
“Can you tell me more about which power you'll give me?” As soon as I asked her that, her lips curled into a smirk as if she already knew what my choice was.
“I can’t tell you which power because the World Administrator grants it to you. I'm simply the overseer of this world, I cannot decide things for you.”
“Then–”
“Ughh shut up!” Filya gritted her teeth at my continued barrage of questions. With one flick of a finger, I stood up on my two feet as she pushed me outside the door. “I’m giving you some traits to make your life in this world easier, on top of what you’ll receive.”
“Hey–” I tried to stop my legs from moving while she was pushing me, but I couldn’t. I should probably learn to stop resisting in the presence of this goddess. “I haven’t chosen yet!”
“But you’ve already made up your mind, right?” I could feel Filya using all of her body weight to push me towards the door, with her light grunts indicating her struggle. “Good luck-urgh, Otherworlder! May the Aether guide you among the river of stars.”
“H-hey, what does that mean?! Are you wishing for me to die again?”
“It’s a saying, dumbass!”
The door opened to a blindingly bright light, causing me to close my eyes. I could feel my body hover in the air, the strong gust of wind making it seem like I was flying. Wherever it will take me, I hope it wouldn't be somewhere dangerous.
The light seeping from my eyes significantly dimmed, and the cool breeze of the tropical, rural area that’s so familiar to me blew across me. Opening my eyes, I am greeted with a sight of a forest clearing and the chirping of the birds. I found myself still wearing the same black hoodie and gray pants from "heaven," or wherever I was reincarnated with the goddess, along with a pair of rubber slippers.
At the center of the clearing was a freshwater lake reflecting the afternoon sun. White ducks with yellow beaks are swimming gently above the lake–the kind that exists on Earth.
As I observed my surroundings, the thought that this was another world flew out of my mind. So far, there was nothing notable that separates this world from Earth.
I noticed a cold, slightly heavy weight of metal in my hoodie pocket. I pull it out to see a strange metallic plate with letters I haven’t seen before, but I could somehow read it. “Status Plate” is what it said.
The Status Plate glows blue for a quick moment before three holographic interfaces popped up from within it.
NAME: Luck LVL 10
Life Points LP : 110 Aether ATH: 110
Class: Dicemaster Equipped Weapon: Six-faced White Die
,,,
[Gift from the Goddess]
“By receiving the gift of the Goddess, you must not forget your true purpose in this world.”
10+ LVL UP↑
Class Set to Unique Class: Dicemaster
,,,
[Otherworlder’s Gift]
“Speak with goodness and greatness, for the vilest of words must be paid with your tongue.”
Granted the innate ability to communicate in Traevilyan.
,,,
[Dicemaster’s Covenant]
“Journey in isolation and hardship, Dicemaster. This is a covenant you made.”
Class Change is restricted.
Weapon Change is restricted.
Interclass Skill Sharing is restricted.
Portable storage class items are restricted.
LUCK is permanently set to -50.
When joining a party, your all party members' defense and attack is set to 0 until the party disbands.
All types of Evolution success rates are permanently set to 100%.
,,,
Message from Filya:
Item Attached: [Otherworlder’s Backpack]
"I made sure of granting you the trait to understand Traevilyan, Melsion's primary language! Aside from that, you'll find a guidebook on the fundamental aspects of Melsion. I wrote it myself, so be sure to follow everything there (* ^ ω ). There is also a weapon selector at the end of the guidebook once you read everything. Make sure not to lose it!"
,,,
WORLD ADMINISTRATOR
Because of [Dicemaster’s Covenant], the backpack from [Gift from the Goddess] has not been granted.
Lots of terms I don't know here. And my name in this world is Luck? Ironic, considering my luck stat was basically negative.
From what I can understand, my unique class, Dicemaster, doesn’t have too many special skills to begin with. “The power I get should give me an advantage when starting in this world,” said the goddess. And the backpack that should give me a guidebook and a weapon wasn't granted. What kind of fuckery is this world playing at? Not that it might be useful after all, since my passive skill [Gift of the Goddess] didn’t allow me to use any weapon. That said, how am I supposed to fight monsters with a die?
I put the Status Plate back into my pocket before attempting to test my only skill.
And... I don't know how to cast a skill yet. Do I press it while my interface is active? Do I cast it verbally? Hoping it's the latter, I verbally spoke the name of my skill, “Dice Roll.”
A formation of blue crystals suddenly accumulated at a single point above my palm. I hovered my hand below the blue crystals that looked like it was materializing something, all while doing so instinctively.
“This must be aether, then?” I presumed as I carefully observe the translucent crystals.
The aether above my hand slowly faded into the air as the die materializes fully. It starts to spin quickly before coming to a complete stop as soon as it landed on my palm. The number on the top of the die is... one.
[DICE ROLL: 1]
Unlucky... I muttered a curse under my breath before pocketing the Status Plate and retracting its holographic menu back into itself.
Suddenly, I heard a high-pitched clicking noise coming from the other side of the forest clearing. Emerging from the forest is a beetle that was nearly as big as a dog. It stared at me for a few seconds before it clicked once again--this time, it was more high pitched that it hurt my ears.
The clicking noise soon multiplied exponentially from the background of the forest, and as if that isn’t enough to knock me to my senses, the beetle charged toward me, along with probably its entire family emerging from the forest. Without a weapon or even a viable skill for protection, there was only one thing I could do in this situation.
I started to run as fast as I can into the forest, relying on the belief that I was faster than the beetles and that I'd find help along the way. While running, it didn’t take long for me to assume what my dice roll skill does.
“What the hell, Filya, this class is fucking shit!”
Hello, I'm TSR and this is my first post here! I mainly post on RoyalRoad, but I plan to upload all my chapters here in HFY in hopes of getting feedback about the story and criticism as well. I hope you enjoy it!
submitted by onebuddyforlife to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 06:00 rGamesMods Indie Sunday Hub - May 28, 2023

Welcome to another Indie Sunday! This event starts at 12 AM EST and will run for 24 hours.
Please read the below guidelines carefully before participating. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to send us a modmail.
A reminder that Rule 8 is not enforced during this event for submissions which follow the participation guidelines.

Submission Restrictions

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Weekly Spotlight

Previous Indie Sunday

Feedback

Feel free to ask any questions in the comments below, or send us a modmail if it is urgent.

Discussion

  • Any of these games catch your eye?
  • Any games you want to personally highlight that haven't been shared yet?
  • Any projects that have had interesting development journeys?
  • What indie game recommendations do you have?
submitted by rGamesMods to Games [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 05:59 onebuddyforlife Post Draft

I rested my chin on the palm of my hand, overlooking the serene, green scenery of the rice fields outside of my classroom. The mountains stood tall and unmoving from afar, dividing the clouds that pass through its summit. I sigh in relaxation, appreciating the peaceful surroundings that one cannot find in the cities.
I snapped out of my quiet trance as a small truck carrying hay passed by the road, and I once again noticed the faint yet consistent mashes of buttons coming from my only friend in the province. Since our teacher announced that she had to leave class early, leaving us in class for the rest of our last period today, my friend over to my right has been playing the newly released game nonstop. The new MMORPG game, Alterra.
My blonde-haired friend Hirato was playing on a portable gaming console. His back has been arched towards the console for the past 15 minutes, his eyes are practically glued to the console’s screen. I inched my seat toward him to take a closer look. He was trying to defeat a monster resembling a three-headed snake—a Hydra. His character’s health was one hit away from hitting zero, but the Hydra was practically undamaged.
“Hey, Hirato,” I called him. “How long are you going to play that game?”
“Awww, I died!” He says exasperatedly, leaning back on his chair in annoyance. “I’ve been trying to beat this boss since yesterday and there’s no luck at all! I even have my gear maxed out for this level, and still...”
Hirato continued speaking as he packed his console into his backpack, “I wouldn’t have any problem at all had you continued playing video games with me. You could help me beat the boss, you know."
Then, Hirato started to make some "drama" in a weird, playful manner. "Come on, Naruki! We were best buddies since we were kids! Whatever must have happened between us, my best friend?” The bell rings across the school building, indicating the end of classes for the day. At the same time, I made a disgusted look at him after saying something corny that must have come from some TV show.
“Stop it with that little skit of yours. We are still best buddies, but I’ve grown up from playing games. Remember, we’re going to college next year and I’ve been preparing for it ever since.” I grabbed my bag from beneath my seat, and just as I stood up, the wooden plank I stood on creaked.
"That's not true, and there's no way you'll pass up on an MMORPG like Alterra! There's no way you stopped playing just for college." Hirato claimed, but he quickly switched into a pondering tone. “Though you made me think about college. You want to go to Tokyo University from what I recall, but I thought you were tired of the city because it’s too crowded there?” He asked.
“It’ll give me a greater chance to get hired for a job with a high salary. My dad also said that it takes some time to get used to the city when I’ve been living all my life in the rice fields.” I ignored Hirato's first statement--but it's true. There's no way I can quit gaming, so I lied to him about it, but I also don't want to take precious time off when I'm studying for a test that will literally decide my future.
“You’re already thinking of your future far ahead.”
“Well, do you want to stay in this school?”
As I took another step towards the door, the wood plank creaked again, filling the short silence in Hirato’s pause.
“...You make a point.” He uttered in agreement.
My school was a single-story building with multiple rooms, occupied by a few students in different grades. To add, we were also the only third-year high school students in the school. Everything here is made of thin wood and paper, and the wooden flooring creaked ever so often that if we step on it the wrong way, it might literally collapse the floor. This building was so old that I’d be having a family reunion with the souls of my family from five generations ago every school day.
The cool breeze of the late afternoon blew toward us as we made our way to the paved dirt road.
"By the way, Hirato."
"Hm?"
"I lied. I'm actually playing Alterra. Since it released."
"Wha-- Then why won't you play co-op with me?!" Hirato was almost screaming in my face, taken aback by my lie.
"Because you're stupid. Why would you cast "Damage Reflect" on Hydra's one-turn kill when you're barely alive? Plus, it won't even damage the Hydra because the game recognizes the reflected damage as an effect, and the boss is immune to any effect."
"Urgh... Watch me beat that Hydra tomorrow, you'll regret not playing with me!"
"Do your best, Hirato. See you tomorrow," I sarcastically said to him as I watched my best friend run to his home, probably excited to try out what I just said. After all, I'm way past his level, so I can't even play with him without ruining his casual experience. It's time to go home for me as well, but the next bus stop is an hour from now. Maybe I'll play for a bit while waiting.
It was the scent of fresh air and the quiet atmosphere that separates urban life from rural life. Most people prefer convenience, while the minority prefer peacefulness. I'm part of the latter, but I still want to get a job in the city. Even if I'm still unsure what I wanted to be in the future.
“Hey, you brat!” A faint, old man’s voice screamed from the rice fields beside the paved road. “Watch out, the ground is dangerous there! Didn’t you see the sign?!”
My thoughts were cut off as I heard him shout at me with great urgency. After my eyes dart to the old man, I abruptly turn to see that there was a sign on the side of the road on both sides that said [ENTRY CLOSED]. Why wasn’t there any blockage? But it was my fault for not paying close attention to my surroundings.
“I’m sorry, mister. I didn’t see it earlier.” I apologized in a nonchalant manner, mostly because I still didn't realize the gravity of the situation at this time.
“Let go of your bag. Climb over the fence towards me. Now,” says the man.
While I didn’t know what could be so dangerous about this road that warrants an urgent reaction, I trusted him. But before I could even drop my bag, the ground starts to sink with me in the center.
It was only then that fear started to settle within me. My heart sank from my inability to do anything as my mind tried to process what was happening and what was about to befall. My legs shook from the sinking ground as well, to control my balance. I cannot feel the center of gravity in my feet anymore.
In a desperate attempt to escape from the sinking ground, I jumped, trying to outrun the sinking before I go along with it.
Yet it was too late.
The ground crumbled beneath me, revealing a sinkhole. All the adrenaline in my body surges instantly, slowing down time and making the fall to my imminent death seem like an eternity. The rocks from the ground begin to break apart and fall as if it wants to bury me as well if I wasn't dead yet from the fall.
Strangely enough, I thought that when my time comes, I’ll accept Death and warmly embrace it, but it’s too soon and unfair. My arms are both outstretched to the sunlight above, as my mind screams, “I don’t want to die yet!”
The falling rocks fully cover the sunlight as I fully plunge into the darkness, and along it with me as well. Thankfully with the darkness blinding what seems to be my body being crushed and mutilated by the heavy rocks, it only felt like I fell asleep, never to wake up again.
Good night, world.
My eyes slowly fluttered open to a familiar ceiling; particularly, my bedroom. The dark blue-painted star walls and the transparent curtain were both familiar, yet in front of me was some child using my computer. The window outside is also blindingly bright which made it seem impossible to peek outside.
“Um...” I didn’t know what else to say, so I tried to get the young girl’s attention
“Mhmhm!” A proud, laughing sneer came from the child. Still sitting on my gaming chair, she turned around to face me, her shoulders crossed and an arrogant expression that ticks me off for some reason.
“Welcome to the afterlife, Naruhaya Tabito. I have chosen you to–wait, who the FUCK are you?!” Her arrogant expression transforms into a mix of confusion, panic, and surprise after she opened her eyes.
“I should be the one saying that!” I exclaimed back, but I did not get a response because she quickly turned to the monitor. Upon standing up from my bed, I notice that the sounds of mouse clicking and keyboard pressing were all attributed to her--playing Alterra?
If this was the afterlife... It didn't look too bad. The events that transpired earlier haven’t registered in my mind yet.
“Hey, am I really dead?” I asked her.
The young girl was typing before she exclaimed in panic, “No no no...! You’re really dead! I killed the wrong person!”
“I see.” I didn’t know how to react to my death, but I also didn't feel sad or sentimental. I didn’t have much going on in the real world before I died, after all.
The young girl paused her game as she turned around to face me. “It’s because you aren’t supposed to die! I may have pressed your name accidentally while I was looking for a suitable candidate in the Living Database...” She sighs as she sinks into her chair. “Well, I suppose it’s not that big of a deal.”
The girl stood on the gaming chair, clad in a red-colored robe with a two-pointed hat that almost resembled horns. Her red-toned eyes glinted with the light of the bright window.
“Naruki Haruhito, sit,” With one downward motion of her finger, I immediately felt a strong, compelling force that made me sit on the bed.
“My name is Filya, and I am the Goddess of Creation! Your Creator, and the One Above All!” She introduces herself with her arms crossed. It appears to me that she was trying to act superior and intimidating, but her haughty attitude, matched with her small stature, made it seem like she really was someone’s kid lost in my bedroom who was cosplaying as an anime character.
“You’re a child,” Even at this point in the afterlife, I do not believe her being the world’s creator for a bit.
“Wha–” Filya is taken aback by what I said. “I'm not a child, I'm a goddess! Respect and worship me, you dimwitted mortal, should you desire not to die a second time and leave your soul wandering in the empty void of space.”
While she was speaking, I couldn't move a single inch from the bed. Even if she was a goddess, it's impossible not to take her seriously because she looks like a child scolding her older brother.
Filya raised two fingers before saying, “As a token of apology for wrongfully smiting you, I’ll give you two choices. First choice: You can return back to the real world as a baby of a rich family, and you will be a prodigy who will basically have an easy life from that period until his death of old age. Of course, you won’t remember everything that happened here and in your past life. But that’s basically the same as having a guaranteed GAME CLEAR, in your terms.”
Having an assured future was my long-term goal when I was alive back then. It seemed like a compelling idea until I heard about the second choice.
“Second choice: You will be reincarnated in another world with all your memories intact, and I will grant you a power unique only to you, and it will help you fulfill the condition that comes with this choice.”
Curious, I ask her what the condition is.
“The condition?” A crooked smirk appeared on her face, turning her haughty tone into something vicious. “Conquer the world.”
My eyes widened in surprise, the weight of her words starting to add to my fear-turned-excitement.
“There is a prophecy in this world that if the reincarnation of Typhon–the cataclysmic world-ending being of the past–attains something of unimaginable power and influence, he will destroy the world.”
Filya speaks with complete urgency, “You must conquer the world to stop Typhon’s reincarnation from attaining such power because, at this point, no one in this world is showing promise to become the world’s strongest."
After a small pause, I asked her, "What do you mean?"
"The throne is empty and he can take it anytime.”
After she finished explaining, I was given some time to think about my decision.
A safe, fulfilled, and assured life? Or a dangerous life with a chance for absolute glory?
I could never pass up on this opportunity, I said to myself, and I thought I'd never hesitate. I can return back to the real world and be born to rich parents. I’d have tasty food to eat every day, get the games I want, and in the future, I’d die of old age with my life fully satisfied and fulfilled until the very end. While my life in provincial Japan was a bit bland and boring at times, it was a life I'd want to return back to.
But the concept of determinism disgusts me.
“Can you tell me more about which power you'll give me?” As soon as I asked her that, her lips curled into a smirk as if she already knew what my choice was.
“I can’t tell you which power because the World Administrator grants it to you. I'm simply the overseer of this world, I cannot decide things for you.”
“Then–”
“Ughh shut up!” Filya gritted her teeth at my continued barrage of questions. With one flick of a finger, I stood up on my two feet as she pushed me outside the door. “I’m giving you some traits to make your life in this world easier, on top of what you’ll receive.”
“Hey–” I tried to stop my legs from moving while she was pushing me, but I couldn’t. I should probably learn to stop resisting in the presence of this goddess. “I haven’t chosen yet!”
“But you’ve already made up your mind, right?” I could feel Filya using all of her body weight to push me towards the door, with her light grunts indicating her struggle. “Good luck-urgh, Otherworlder! May the Aether guide you among the river of stars.”
“H-hey, what does that mean?! Are you wishing for me to die again?”
“It’s a saying, dumbass!”
The door opened to a blindingly bright light, causing me to close my eyes. I could feel my body hover in the air, the strong gust of wind making it seem like I was flying. Wherever it will take me, I hope it wouldn't be somewhere dangerous.
The light seeping from my eyes significantly dimmed, and the cool breeze of the tropical, rural area that’s so familiar to me blew across me. Opening my eyes, I am greeted with a sight of a forest clearing and the chirping of the birds. I found myself still wearing the same black hoodie and gray pants from "heaven," or wherever I was reincarnated with the goddess, along with a pair of rubber slippers.
At the center of the clearing was a freshwater lake reflecting the afternoon sun. White ducks with yellow beaks are swimming gently above the lake–the kind that exists on Earth.
As I observed my surroundings, the thought that this was another world flew out of my mind. So far, there was nothing notable that separates this world from Earth.
I noticed a cold, slightly heavy weight of metal in my hoodie pocket. I pull it out to see a strange metallic plate with letters I haven’t seen before, but I could somehow read it. “Status Plate” is what it said.
The Status Plate glows blue for a quick moment before three holographic interfaces popped up from within it.
NAME: Luck LVL 10
Life Points LP : 110 Aether ATH: 110
Class: Dicemaster Equipped Weapon: Six-faced White Die
,,,
[Gift from the Goddess]
“By receiving the gift of the Goddess, you must not forget your true purpose in this world.”
10+ LVL UP↑
Class Set to Unique Class: Dicemaster
,,,
[Otherworlder’s Gift]
“Speak with goodness and greatness, for the vilest of words must be paid with your tongue.”
Granted the innate ability to communicate in Traevilyan.
,,,
[Dicemaster’s Covenant]
“Journey in isolation and hardship, Dicemaster. This is a covenant you made.”
Class Change is restricted.
Weapon Change is restricted.
Interclass Skill Sharing is restricted.
Portable storage class items are restricted.
LUCK is permanently set to -50.
When joining a party, your all party members' defense and attack is set to 0 until the party disbands.
All types of Evolution success rates are permanently set to 100%.
,,,
Message from Filya:
Item Attached: [Otherworlder’s Backpack]
"I made sure of granting you the trait to understand Traevilyan, Melsion's primary language! Aside from that, you'll find a guidebook on the fundamental aspects of Melsion. I wrote it myself, so be sure to follow everything there (* ^ ω ). There is also a weapon selector at the end of the guidebook once you read everything. Make sure not to lose it!"
,,,
WORLD ADMINISTRATOR
Because of [Dicemaster’s Covenant], the backpack from [Gift from the Goddess] has not been granted.
Lots of terms I don't know here. And my name in this world is Luck? Ironic, considering my luck stat was basically negative.
From what I can understand, my unique class, Dicemaster, doesn’t have too many special skills to begin with. “The power I get should give me an advantage when starting in this world,” said the goddess. And the backpack that should give me a guidebook and a weapon wasn't granted. What kind of fuckery is this world playing at? Not that it might be useful after all, since my passive skill [Gift of the Goddess] didn’t allow me to use any weapon. That said, how am I supposed to fight monsters with a die?
I put the Status Plate back into my pocket before attempting to test my only skill.
And... I don't know how to cast a skill yet. Do I press it while my interface is active? Do I cast it verbally? Hoping it's the latter, I verbally spoke the name of my skill, “Dice Roll.”
A formation of blue crystals suddenly accumulated at a single point above my palm. I hovered my hand below the blue crystals that looked like it was materializing something, all while doing so instinctively.
“This must be aether, then?” I presumed as I carefully observe the translucent crystals.
The aether above my hand slowly faded into the air as the die materializes fully. It starts to spin quickly before coming to a complete stop as soon as it landed on my palm. The number on the top of the die is... one.
[DICE ROLL: 1]
Unlucky... I muttered a curse under my breath before pocketing the Status Plate and retracting its holographic menu back into itself.
Suddenly, I heard a high-pitched clicking noise coming from the other side of the forest clearing. Emerging from the forest is a beetle that was nearly as big as a dog. It stared at me for a few seconds before it clicked once again--this time, it was more high pitched that it hurt my ears.
The clicking noise soon multiplied exponentially from the background of the forest, and as if that isn’t enough to knock me to my senses, the beetle charged toward me, along with probably its entire family emerging from the forest. Without a weapon or even a viable skill for protection, there was only one thing I could do in this situation.
I started to run as fast as I can into the forest, relying on the belief that I was faster than the beetles and that I'd find help along the way. While running, it didn’t take long for me to assume what my dice roll skill does.
“What the hell, Filya, this class is fucking shit!”
Hello, I'm TSR and this is my first post here! I mainly post on RoyalRoad, but I plan to upload all my chapters here in HFY in hopes of getting feedback about the story and criticism as well. I hope you enjoy!
submitted by onebuddyforlife to u/onebuddyforlife [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 05:56 DoYouBelieveInThat My Mother Died, And She Will Do Everything To Make Sure I Won't.

I was sitting across from my mother. She has been dead for quite some time, yet she was always present when I needed her the most. Of course, no one else can see or hear her, but that would not matter anyway. She had little interest in anyone else. Her presence is soothing. A calming anchor in an all too real sea of uncertainty and danger.
I was at the back of a boat gazing into the wake that it created. I don't know much about boats, but as far as I can tell, it has seen some wear and tear. As it idles through the water, I looked back over our journey. White waves were created as we pushed through the ocean. The Sun had long abandoned us. Only silver streaks of moonlight on the peaks of the waves broke up the endless black. A wake usually means there is going to be a funeral, I thought to myself.
I turned and faced towards the front of the boat and took in my immediate surroundings. A small veteran boat with oars, a tired petrol engine, and some basic supplies. The captain held an unfriendly demeanor. I counted people, but after 20 my anxiety increased. The opposite of counting sheep. At least 20 people. 20 lives present.
Who were these strangers?
What is their life before this?
What is their life going to be?
Every question I could think of was equally important. The boat shook as we collided into a small wall composed of ocean. It spat at us as if we had interrupted it from its slumber.
An old lady cried, "اللَهُمَّ ساعِدْني"
Tears streamed down her face as she collapsed into the nearest person beside her; a thin man with a tight moustache and a furrowed brow. The thin man was just as frightened and clutched onto her as cold air whistled around their faces. The air cut into our cheeks like tiny paper cuts. I picked out faces. The old lady. The thin man. A kindly faced woman in front of me. Her shawl was protecting at least three under it. Their three sets of eyes. Like little kitten's peering out from the warmth of the shawl. Their faces were obscured. She was humming something. A soothing little note designed to create a forcefield against the harsh reality of our situation. My Mother began to hum a tune that I knew well. The little kittens braced as each wave unsettled the boat.
I continued to look around. A well-built man was barking orders. He was ranting about life jackets. My mother nudged my arm. She pointed to some lifejackets strewn underneath my seat. I shouted out. The well-built man scrambled to them. "Here, here, here". He threw them into the group. The most vulnerable were seen to first, but even then, I could see numerous people with no life jackets. I know that they could not swim; either too old or not old enough. They wouldn't be able for the mercilessness of the ocean.
The thin man who had just consoled the elderly women sat himself down beside me. He turned to me and smiled. I smiled back. He laughed. It isn't a particularly happy laugh, but something has caught his eye. He passed over a small photograph. It was composed of a large family with him proudly centred. Libyan or Algerian was my best guess, but then again, he could truly be from anywhere. My mother leaned over his back and pointed at a young woman sitting off to the left. I get it now. I resemble this woman. I glanced around. He is alone. I have a feeling his family only exists as memories or through haunting lookalikes. I felt a mixture of emotion. Perhaps they are also here, I thought to myself. Like my mother.
He doesn't speak, as I returned the photograph like it was a delicate flower. He picked himself up and squeezed to the back of the boat. Even though we didn't talk, we knew a lot about each other. I remember my mother whispering to me.
".إذا كان الكلام من فضة فالسكوت من ذه"
People were moaning in pain around me. An injured woman had been passed out for most of the journey. Her leg looked infected, and her partner, a beautiful woman, clutched her tightly. I helped put a lifejacket on the injured woman. Her partner's eyes appreciated me. I sat back down at the end of the boat. We continued into the darkness of the night. To busy myself and to keep warm, from my pocket, I took a small photo out. It was wrapped in a plastic I found on the beach.
My grandparents. The ones who raised me and cared for me. I closed my eyes and saw it vividly. In fact, I always saw it when I closed my eyes. The smoke choking their frail bodies. The heat of burning rubber, wood, and flesh. My own blood drenching the dust in the sitting room as my ears rang from the impact blast. My throat still winces when I remember the caked dust that nearly suffocated me. They appear sometimes as well. Charred and tearful. Sometimes they scream, but mostly they just smoulder. My Mother was oblivious to this, of course. I didn't have the heart to tell her. From what I gathered; they don't interact. I drifted back into my past. Stumbling out of the apartment just in time to see the foundations begin to crumble. Another jet closing in on our little town.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
The noise was getting louder. I blinked my eyes and returned to reality. I was cold and alone. Everyone in this boat was. Cold and alone together. My story wasn't new. In fact, most know it. Thinking of my grandmother, I squeezed past the worried faces. I took my torn jacket and placed it around the old lady. She smiled. I smiled. I returned to my tiny area. The waves were now pelting the underneath of the boat as if some evil creature was trying to tear it apart.
A large splash destroys the shallow peace. I looked down and quickly realised someone has gone overboard. Among the trashing and screaming, people reached out in a vain effort to rescue him. The Thin man was sinking into the black. His eyes widened with fear as he came to the realisation of his situation. That is when I saw it. That is when I saw him. Pale arms wrapped silently around his body. Gently, but firmly, they pulled him towards the depths of the ocean.
His struggle lessened and lessened. The panic of the thin man's eyes slowly turn into acceptance.
I think he has chosen his new life underneath the chaos above the waters. Eventually, his body disappeared into the black. The screams on the boat became less and less. People were just gazing into the water. Perhaps they were wondering if the reasons he chose were convincing. Perhaps, they wanted to be next. He has a new family now.
The creatures had been following us since the first day. While I wouldn't say they are friendly, they seemed to keep a healthy distance from us, only interacting when we breach the sanctity of their waters. From what I gathered; the creatures were not Sirens. Sirens lure you into a false reality with their music. These creatures are different. They don't leap onto your boat. They don't pull you into their depths. The thin man wasn't forced into his fate. He merely fell overboard.
How? I don't know, but he knew the consequences of his actions. He chose out. The overwhelming reality of our human world simply became too much. Death was a viable acceptance, and it had it hands out to welcome him. The creatures embraced him. Were these creatures human at one point? I do not know. Their eyes are human like. As we drifted for hours aimlessly into the darkness, I thought about them a lot. I also saw them. Little yellow dots bouncing up and down in the water, patiently waiting for the next.
I dropped my hand overboard and allowed it to glide over the surface of the water. Very briefly my fingers interlock with another. I loosened my grip on the boat and allowed myself to sway side to side. The touch was kind and gentle. A small part of me knew the danger, but another, far more desperate part just needed to feel something. Suddenly, I felt a grip around my back. My Mother ushered me away from the water. I hugged myself for warmth and closed my eyes. As I drifted in and out of consciousness, I overheard some of the conversations around me.
"How much did you pay?"
"Can't we go back? Maybe he is still alive"
"Stop talking nonsense. He is gone"
"Move over, I am almost falling out here."
"No, my family had couldn't come, they didn't make it."
"When do we get there? He said only three days"
"Three days? He said a few hours to me."
"A few hours! You must be foolish? Two days at least."
"The water is beautiful, let's us embrace the calm"
"I am cold"
Wait, I thought, "the water is beautiful?"
I looked around to see who would say such a strange thing. The voice didn't seem to come from anyone on board. The cold was getting to me. I closed my eyes again.
"We won't make the journey"
"Keep yourself quiet and don't be foolish"
"Leave her be, she's just nervous!"
"Nervous, look around, we are all nervous! Don't start lecturing me about nervous"
"I said stop it!"
I opened my eyes. Where's the mother of three?, I thought.
I perched up on the back of the boat and looked across the faces. Ah! There she was. She was cupping water and cleaning their faces. The injured woman looked very poorly. I wondered if there was a medical professional here. The injured lady had a partner. Another woman. She was beautiful.
In an instant, the boat violently shook. Rain tore into us so badly that we crawled as far into the boat as humanly possible. 20 or more voices were helplessly crying into the ocean's indifference. I tried to reassure the people around me that it was okay. When it calmed, I lifted my head and assessed my surroundings. I had cuts from the razor rain, but I was more or less intact. Then I heard the howling. A banshee cries. I could not figure out the dilemma. Who was screaming? It was the woman of three. She was howling.
The well-built man grabbed a torch from the box where the life jackets were and pointed it to the ocean of waves. It took me a few minutes to discern the ugly truth. Tears fell down the well built man's face. The woman of three. Now the woman of two. Yellow eyes were dotted around us. Another offering to their insatiable appetite.
Our mental and physical strength was drained. Food had been scarce for some time and as the old rhyme goes, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink. The injured woman looked terrible. Apart from small gulps of freshwater and a makeshift bandage, we had nothing to give her. I began scouring the boat for something, anything that might relieve her pain. Her injuries looked deep. Her partner, the beautiful woman was stoic. She knew that nothing could be done, although the closer to the shoreline the better.
I rested my head against the yellowed, damaged side of the boat. Before I could get comfortable, it hit. A wave smashed against us. The boat lifted upwards into the sky. I fell backwards into the wake as the boat pounded back down into the water. Although, I didn't know at the time. The boat had ruptured its hull. The cold stinging pain of the water jolted my lungs. For a brief moment, I was paralysed. As I bobbed up and down in the water, my face dipped below the waterline. I couldn't make out much, but those yellow eyes.
They were still there. I saw faces, hundreds of them, surrounding my body. Grabbing and pulling me towards the deep. Many of the faces were those already dead, and I was being pulled towards them. In that moment of paralysis, there was almost serenity. The physical world full of its pain and anguish seemed to melt away in the midst of this calm inevitability.
A part of me was ready to give in. Join the chorus of distraught yellow eyes. I knew I couldn't. I froze as we made brief eye contact, but it was my mother’s voice snapped me back to the moment. I pulled and swam upwards in a feeble attempt to break away. I rose above the water and tried to grasp my surroundings. The boat was sinking. People were thrashing about in the water. It was panic. I knew I couldn't. I pulled and swam upwards in a feeble attempt to break away.
I saw the old lady.
"Jump", I cried to the old lady.
"It's sinking, it's sinking!"
The boat was decompressing rapidly.
"Jump", I shouted.
Just as the moon hit her face, I saw it. I saw many emotions, but I also saw what she couldn't bear to say. She couldn't swim. Before I could swim back to try and get her a lifejacket a wave from behind lifted me forward and I crashed into the side of the boat. In a daze, I grasped onto the thick rope that surrounded the boat. Mouthfuls after mouthfuls of salted air and water began to take their toll.
People were thrashing in the water. The cold was intense. The boat was almost fully sunk, and my upper body strength was gone. Then I saw it. A beam of light over the water. The sound of an incoming ship. A sigh of relief. Men threw out water doughnuts and rope. People clambered onto the boat. Those who were left anyway. By the time everyone was on board the sun was just peering out on the horizon. I was wrapped in a dry blanket and then I went dark.
When I woke up, I was in a tent. New clothes set out before me. I assessed my wounds. Cuts reddened the skin, but I was more or less okay. I sat up in the makeshift tent and grabbed a cup of coffee to warm my hands. I was exhausted, but I had to know where I was. I wandered out of the tent. The searing heat reminded me of home. People were shouting, vehicles were ferrying food and supplies back and forth. This must be one of the biggest camps there is.
In front of me was a new war with its own special injured. I walked throughout the camp looking for anyone I could recognise. The well-built man was looking pale and shell-shocked. His eyes were red and two doctors spoke in rapid-fire to one another. He didn't understand a word they were saying.
I moved through the camp for the rest of the day. I saw many faces, and harrowingly, I didn't see many others. When I came across the woman of two, my heart ached. She was inconsolable. The woman of two. My emotions knew nothing of her plight. I pushed my mind forward as much as I could.
The woman of none.
I walked on to find an empty bench. I collapsed into it and looked out over the horizon. I had survived.
A small whisper of encouragement filled my ears. My Mother. She soothed over the anxiety I was feeling. My anger, pain, and the hatred I had for myself to feel relief when so many others only feel pain. She whipped herself around the branches of a tree causing leaves to lightly dance in front of me. I thought back to the days of the olive trees that we used to have in our back garden. She continued to flit in a frenzy of happiness.
I understood.
Perhaps the afterlife is a lot simpler. I shrugged my shoulders as to say, "What do I do now?"
She cracked a wry smile. And whispered, "whatever you set your heart to."
With that, she began to move away from me. She extended her arms, and that is when I realised. She wasn't alone. Hiding behind the tree were three small individuals. Three that I recognised. The three little kittens looked at my mother and rushed towards her. She smiled at me and back at them.
She had saved me on my journey, and now it was her time to guide three little lives into a new one. A mixture of sadness and happiness crept over me. My Mother faded out. I shut my eyes and thought about dry land.
submitted by DoYouBelieveInThat to nosleep [link] [comments]


2023.05.28 05:41 BackgroundChard1 Prednisone and ibuprofen for a sore throat?

27f, 5’3”, 112lbs
I went to urgent care today because I’ve had a really bad sore throat for 3 days. I wanted to get tested for strep. The test came back negative, and before I knew it the dr came in with a dose of prednisone (prednisolone? It was liquid) and some ibuprofen.
I’m now kinda wishing I didn’t take the prednisone, but too late now. I’m typically hesitant to take medications in general but he walked in with it already poured and it all happened fast. For 3 days of sore throat it seems like overkill.
Will one dose of prednisone cause any major affects on me or weaken my immune system? I know I’m probably being anxious, but it’s not a medication I’ve ever taken before. I also don’t want to assume I’ve gotten over the cold before I actually have.
submitted by BackgroundChard1 to AskDocs [link] [comments]