Weather washington dc hourly
Sharknado: Enough Said
2013.07.12 05:03 lostmytardis Sharknado: Enough Said
Sharknado is a 2013 made-for-television disaster film about a tornado that lifts sharks out of the ocean and deposits them in Los Angeles. It first aired on the SyFy channel on July 11, 2013 and stars Cassie Scerbo, Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, and John Heard.
2013.09.18 05:27 h2ohman Reaching the 50 US State Highpoints!
For those trying to reach the highest natural elevation in any or all of the 50 US states. Post your summit pictures, trip reports, questions, and advice, as well as any recent news regarding trail conditions, access restrictions, etc.
2023.05.28 08:46 Alarming_Club7413 There's still chance of rain for Monaco GP.
 | submitted by Alarming_Club7413 to formula1 [link] [comments] |
2023.05.28 08:33 -Bonjour-- More Madeir
From my travel report (2014):
The second trip to Madeira we made to escape the winter. The weather was like a moody diva in winter. It changes not only from day to day, but also within a few hours. So you can never plan anything for the next day, because you should not think, today it is so nice and sunny and warm, it will be the same tomorrow. But if you are unlucky, the next morning it will be completely cloudy, only to possibly be sunny again in the afternoon.
It is always a pleasure to stroll in FUNCHAL's old town. Here times an ice cream to eat, there a coffee possibly with Nata to take. But this should be done when there are no cruise ships in the harbor. Then you see fortunately more locals than tourists in the streets.
For football fans: Christiano Ronaldo, who comes from Madeira, now has his own museum in Funchal - eagerly visited by his - mostly young - supporters...
Funchal is spreading out more and more - the slopes all around are already built on, and in the hotel zone construction continues eagerly. Although it is obvious that in the newly built apartment houses still very many apartments are empty.
The first two weeks we booked apartment at about 350 m altitude with a beautiful view of Funchal. The disadvantage was that it became - especially in the evening - but quite cool. Fortunately we had not only an electric heater but also a fireplace in the apartment.
From up here you can see how Funchal has grown in recent years. It is a huge sea of houses, which goes up to all the adjacent hills.
For the second part of our stay we had chosen an apartment house at Praia do Formosa with direct view to the sea and also to Cabo Girao.
One of the most beautiful and varied gardens of Madeira is located only about 9 km east of Funchal: the Palheiro or Blandy's Gardens. In 1801, the property was purchased by Count Carvalhal. A hunting lodge was built and the count had exotic trees imported from all over the world. The count's descendants squandered the fortune, and so in 1885 the estate became the property of the Blandy family of wine merchants. The villa above the garden is still inhabited by the Blandy family and is not accessible.
The gardens are famous not only for the variety of (often exotic) plants but also for their location on a 500 m high hill with a magnificent view of the bay of Funchal. The Count's hunting lodge was renovated in 1997 and is now the exclusive hotel "Quinta Velha do Palheiro".
The gardens are divided into the main garden, the sunken garden, the valley of hell (Inferno) with mighty fern trees, the rose garden, the ladies garden and the tea house area. There are also ponds with water lilies and beautiful flower beds.
Some of the numerous trees are 100 years old. The garden has been constantly developed. Hibiscus, bougainvilleas, jacaranda, African tulip trees, coral trees and orchid trees grow here. The Blandy family imported proteas from South Africa and had a rose garden planted and a small baroque chapel built. The gardens are also famous for their numerous camellias and magnolias.
The orchid garden, created by an Austrian, apparently has more than 5000 plants and is located below the botanical garden. At the moment the orchid garden is closed, because in the big fire of 2016 in Funchal not only many houses were destroyed, but also great damage was done to the orchid garden.
Carnival is also celebrated in Madeira and by chance we saw a children's parade. It was interesting to see with which eagerness the children were partly "there". Therefore, there will probably be no problem with carnivalistic offspring in Funchal.
The town of RIBEIRA BRAVA is located at the mouth of a wide - sometimes wild (brava) river (ribeira). From Funchal there is a highway to get there. In Ribeira Brava there is a wide pebble beach, and on the other side of the promenade there are cafes and restaurants. In the historic center there are small stores, and here is also the pink town hall from the late 18th century
The Igreja de Sao Bento was built as early as 1440, but was given a new look during the Baroque period. The spire with the white-blue tile pattern and the sphere symbol of the Portuguese explorers is striking.
We still drove to Punta do Sol. This place lies between two high rocky capes. In the old core there are only a few houses and the church, behind it already begin the terraced banana fields. There is a pebble beach and on the promenade you can have a drink in small cafes. Except for us, there were hardly any tourists in the village. But here we drank the best poncha on the island. Poncha (made of honey, lemon juice and sugar cane brandy) is a kind of national drink on Madeira.
The village of Camara de Lobos - situated between two rocky cliffs - is only 9 km away from Funchal. Camara de Lobos is still a typical fishing village with the many colorful boats (xavelhas) that you can admire in the small harbor. A small church was built at the harbor early on, this was remodeled in 1420 and the current Capella Nossa Senhora de Conceicao was built.
There is still fishing and some boat building in Camara de Lobos. However, these are no longer particularly lucrative, so tourism is now a larger source of income. The fishermen in this area mainly catch the black scabbardfish (Espada), which is offered in many restaurants - also in Funchal.
There is a promenade path from the Lido in Funchal to Camara de Lobos since 2011. The path - always with a view of Cabo Girao - is partly concreted and partly laid out on wooden walkways. If you walk in the direction of Camara de Lobos, you can see the approaching waves of the Atlantic Ocean on the left and the partly high cliffs on the right. Not far behind Praia de Formosa there are some beach bars or restaurants where you can have a drink or eat quite well.
Cabo Girao near Camara de Lobos is one of the highest cliffs in the world. More than 500 m the land here falls almost vertically into the sea. Since our last visit, things had changed here, there was now a large parking lot. Then the cafes and souvenir stores were also new for us. And surprising for us was also the glass viewing platform, which exists since the end of 2012. Here you can see that wine and vegetables are grown on the small rocky outcrops. The farmers can reach their fields on the coastal fringe with a cable car. Before the cable car was built, these fields were only accessible by boat.
From Funchal it was not far to CANICO. The original village became in the course of time one of the most important tourist places on Madeira. Large hotel complexes, apartment buildings and villas were built. However, we turned off before we reached the town in order to get to Ponta do Garajau. There on a rock cliff is the 14 m high Christo Rei statue, which was erected in 1927. From here you have a beautiful view of Funchal. Since 2007, there is a cable car nearby that goes 200 m down to the pebble beach.
CURRAL DAS FREIRAS is a small village nestled between huge almost vertical mountain slopes in the heart of Madeira. There is only one road that leads serpentine to the 633 m high valley. Originally the valley was inhabited by nomads and shepherds. Towards the end of the 15th century, the land became the property of the nuns of the Santa Clara convent.
The name Curral das Freiras means "pen of the nuns". In the 16th and 17th centuries, the island was repeatedly attacked by pirates, and the nuns retreated here to the protection of the mountains, which are up to 700 meters high. Here people still live from what they grow themselves on their fertile fields. One of the specialties of the village is chestnuts. They are used to make liqueur, cakes, bread and soups, which are also sold to tourists. On November 1 of each year, the Chestnut Festival is held here.
Not many tourists come to SANTA CRUZ, although this place is certainly worth a visit. There is quite a pretty old town with the church of San Salvador built in 1533 as well as like a large modern market hall just behind the long gray pebble beach lined with date palms.
Just north of Santa Cruz is Madeira Island's airport, renamed "Cristiano Ronaldo" Airport in 2007. Opened in 1964 and reconstructed in 2000, this airport is one of the most dangerous in the world. The 2777 m long runway is built on the rocky coast above the water and looks like a bridge with large concrete supports. A large parking lot has been built below this runway.
Before the landing approach, the mountain massif must be overcome so that the narrow runway can be approached. Unfortunately, there have been numerous accidents, but this is still one of the busiest airports in Portugal.
From Santa Cruz we drove to MACHICO, one of the larger towns of Madeira. Machico profited from sugar cane cultivation in the 15th century and is now a modern town, which is divided into two halves by the Ribeira da Machico. On the eastern bank of the river is the historic fishing quarter with the main square surrounded by tall laurel trees.
The town church of Nossa Senhora da Conceicao in the center was built in the 15th century and partially rebuilt in the 18th century. Opposite stands the town hall built in the early 20th century There are several fish restaurants here.
In the surroundings of the small village FAIAL there is still a lot of agriculture, e.g. wine and fruit growing. The village is dominated by the 600 m high Eagle Rock. Only a few tourists come here, because there is hardly anything worth seeing.
Most people come to Santana to see the famous "Casas de colmo". In total there are still about a hundred of these thatched historic wooden houses. They are very scattered throughout the municipality.
On the way back to Funchal we passed through Ribera fria. Here you can take a short hike up to the Miradouro dos Balcoes, from where you have a beautiful view of the mountains.
The peninsula PONTA DE SAO LOURENCO is 9 km long and 2 km wide. In 1982 it was declared a nature reserve, mainly to ensure the preservation of the fauna with the great variety of birds and the great occurrence of the native flora. The eastern tip of Madeira is barren and windy. One can no longer imagine that everything here was lushly forested.
Then, in spring, a carpet of flowers enlivens the bare hilltops. But also in other seasons the turquoise sea and the rocks in different shades - ocher, rust, gray and green-black - bring color to the area.
The south coast can be easily approached by boats, which is almost impossible on the drastically shaped north coast with its strong winds. There is a paved access road to the parking lot above Baia de Abra. Here you can also take the public bus.
From there there is a popular rocky hiking trail. This hike is absolutely not a walk. There are some climbs, often wooden stairs. You have no shade and are exposed to gusts of wind. To avoid being blown down somewhere, I ducked down and waited out the sometimes strong gusts - really quite extreme.
At the narrowest point with a land bridge only a few meters wide, the rock drops almost 100 m vertically - fortunately the place is secured with a fence.
The hike takes - depending on your condition - 2 to 3 hours. It also depends on whether you only walk to the plateau of Casa Sardinha - administration of the national park - or if you want to make the ascent to Pico Furado. Below the Casa there are some tables for picnics. From there there is also an entrance for swimming, which can certainly be pleasant in the summer.
On the way there are always beautiful views of the sea and the rock formations - e.g. the so-called rock gate. On the south side you can see the cages of a fish farm in the sea. In front of Sao Lourenco there are two small islands, on one of them stands the oldest (from 1870) lighthouse of Madeira.
From the cape we drove to CANICAL, the easternmost municipality of Madeira. This place is still characterized by fishing and boat building. Fishing boats are still built here and there is a large repair yard.
Over the 1000 m high Encumeada Pass we drove northeast to Sao Vicente. Unfortunately the old coastal road to Seixal and Porto Moniz was closed and we had to drive through many tunnels. A few years ago it was a special experience to drive on the narrow and winding ER 101 directly at the coast - on one side the high cliffs and on the other side the sea. But apparently the road has become too dangerous in the meantime because of constant falling rocks.
We got to Porto Moniz , and unfortunately the weather got worse, more and more clouds came up. The sea raged with huge waves to the shore. Porto Moniz is a nice little town located on the northwestern tip of Madeira, a region with high mountains and views of the endless Atlantic Ocean.
From Porto Moniz you can go hiking, for example on the coastal trail "Levada da Ribeira da Janela", one of the best hiking trails in Madeira.
Porto Moniz is known for its volcanic pools. Daytrippers mostly come for these pools filled with sea water.These pools owe their formation to a lava tongue that flowed into the sea here thousands of years ago, creating caves due to the force of wind and waves. The black basalt lava pools form swimming pools and are the attraction of Porto Moniz, because you can swim (swim) in them very well - at least in good weather...
There are two different lava pools in Porto Moniz: the completely natural pools and the western pools, which have been transformed into natural outdoor pools - there are no sharp rocks here. The surrounding rocks of the outdoor pool were built as a terrace , and here you can sunbathe. The pools are open every day - even in winter. But when we were there, there was no one in the water....
The natural pools are not safe because of the black sharp basalt rocks. It is very interesting to watch the waves as they crash against the rocks. The water is sometimes whirled into the air in such a way that it looks like a geyser.
The PICO DE ARIEIRO is the most visited mountain of Madeira, because it is the only one that has been opened up with a road, but it is only the third highest. The road was probably built primarily for the observatory and not necessarily for the tourists. Already the approach through pristine landscape with rugged rock and sparse vegetation is an experience.
If the weather is good, you have a breathtaking view all around. Equally beautiful, however, is the sight of white cushions of clouds hanging between the high mountains. In winter there can be ice and snow on the peaks. Since it had snowed on Madeira about 2 weeks before our trip there, we could still see the sparse remnants on the shaded layers.
From Pico de Arieiro you can hike up to Pico Ruivo (1861 m) if the weather is good. At the beginning, the path is quite wide and in places secured by railings. Some then walk at least to the first viewpoint - the rocky peak Niho de Mata with beautiful views. The entire hike up to Pico Ruivo is clearly difficult, even if there are partially secured stairways since the 1960s. Some of the paths are steep up to 700 m, the rock steps are high, the paths are sometimes narrow and beaten, and it also goes through unlit tunnels. So you should have a good condition and be free from giddiness and sure-footed.
submitted by -Bonjour-- to ThornTree [link] [comments]
The second trip to Madeira we made to escape the winter. The weather was like a moody diva in winter. It changes not only from day to day, but also within a few hours. So you can never plan anything for the next day, because you should not think, today it is so nice and sunny and warm, it will be the same tomorrow. But if you are unlucky, the next morning it will be completely cloudy, only to possibly be sunny again in the afternoon.
It is always a pleasure to stroll in FUNCHAL's old town. Here times an ice cream to eat, there a coffee possibly with Nata to take. But this should be done when there are no cruise ships in the harbor. Then you see fortunately more locals than tourists in the streets.
For football fans: Christiano Ronaldo, who comes from Madeira, now has his own museum in Funchal - eagerly visited by his - mostly young - supporters...
Funchal is spreading out more and more - the slopes all around are already built on, and in the hotel zone construction continues eagerly. Although it is obvious that in the newly built apartment houses still very many apartments are empty.
The first two weeks we booked apartment at about 350 m altitude with a beautiful view of Funchal. The disadvantage was that it became - especially in the evening - but quite cool. Fortunately we had not only an electric heater but also a fireplace in the apartment.
From up here you can see how Funchal has grown in recent years. It is a huge sea of houses, which goes up to all the adjacent hills.
For the second part of our stay we had chosen an apartment house at Praia do Formosa with direct view to the sea and also to Cabo Girao.
One of the most beautiful and varied gardens of Madeira is located only about 9 km east of Funchal: the Palheiro or Blandy's Gardens. In 1801, the property was purchased by Count Carvalhal. A hunting lodge was built and the count had exotic trees imported from all over the world. The count's descendants squandered the fortune, and so in 1885 the estate became the property of the Blandy family of wine merchants. The villa above the garden is still inhabited by the Blandy family and is not accessible.
The gardens are famous not only for the variety of (often exotic) plants but also for their location on a 500 m high hill with a magnificent view of the bay of Funchal. The Count's hunting lodge was renovated in 1997 and is now the exclusive hotel "Quinta Velha do Palheiro".
The gardens are divided into the main garden, the sunken garden, the valley of hell (Inferno) with mighty fern trees, the rose garden, the ladies garden and the tea house area. There are also ponds with water lilies and beautiful flower beds.
Some of the numerous trees are 100 years old. The garden has been constantly developed. Hibiscus, bougainvilleas, jacaranda, African tulip trees, coral trees and orchid trees grow here. The Blandy family imported proteas from South Africa and had a rose garden planted and a small baroque chapel built. The gardens are also famous for their numerous camellias and magnolias.
The orchid garden, created by an Austrian, apparently has more than 5000 plants and is located below the botanical garden. At the moment the orchid garden is closed, because in the big fire of 2016 in Funchal not only many houses were destroyed, but also great damage was done to the orchid garden.
Carnival is also celebrated in Madeira and by chance we saw a children's parade. It was interesting to see with which eagerness the children were partly "there". Therefore, there will probably be no problem with carnivalistic offspring in Funchal.
The town of RIBEIRA BRAVA is located at the mouth of a wide - sometimes wild (brava) river (ribeira). From Funchal there is a highway to get there. In Ribeira Brava there is a wide pebble beach, and on the other side of the promenade there are cafes and restaurants. In the historic center there are small stores, and here is also the pink town hall from the late 18th century
The Igreja de Sao Bento was built as early as 1440, but was given a new look during the Baroque period. The spire with the white-blue tile pattern and the sphere symbol of the Portuguese explorers is striking.
We still drove to Punta do Sol. This place lies between two high rocky capes. In the old core there are only a few houses and the church, behind it already begin the terraced banana fields. There is a pebble beach and on the promenade you can have a drink in small cafes. Except for us, there were hardly any tourists in the village. But here we drank the best poncha on the island. Poncha (made of honey, lemon juice and sugar cane brandy) is a kind of national drink on Madeira.
The village of Camara de Lobos - situated between two rocky cliffs - is only 9 km away from Funchal. Camara de Lobos is still a typical fishing village with the many colorful boats (xavelhas) that you can admire in the small harbor. A small church was built at the harbor early on, this was remodeled in 1420 and the current Capella Nossa Senhora de Conceicao was built.
There is still fishing and some boat building in Camara de Lobos. However, these are no longer particularly lucrative, so tourism is now a larger source of income. The fishermen in this area mainly catch the black scabbardfish (Espada), which is offered in many restaurants - also in Funchal.
There is a promenade path from the Lido in Funchal to Camara de Lobos since 2011. The path - always with a view of Cabo Girao - is partly concreted and partly laid out on wooden walkways. If you walk in the direction of Camara de Lobos, you can see the approaching waves of the Atlantic Ocean on the left and the partly high cliffs on the right. Not far behind Praia de Formosa there are some beach bars or restaurants where you can have a drink or eat quite well.
Cabo Girao near Camara de Lobos is one of the highest cliffs in the world. More than 500 m the land here falls almost vertically into the sea. Since our last visit, things had changed here, there was now a large parking lot. Then the cafes and souvenir stores were also new for us. And surprising for us was also the glass viewing platform, which exists since the end of 2012. Here you can see that wine and vegetables are grown on the small rocky outcrops. The farmers can reach their fields on the coastal fringe with a cable car. Before the cable car was built, these fields were only accessible by boat.
From Funchal it was not far to CANICO. The original village became in the course of time one of the most important tourist places on Madeira. Large hotel complexes, apartment buildings and villas were built. However, we turned off before we reached the town in order to get to Ponta do Garajau. There on a rock cliff is the 14 m high Christo Rei statue, which was erected in 1927. From here you have a beautiful view of Funchal. Since 2007, there is a cable car nearby that goes 200 m down to the pebble beach.
CURRAL DAS FREIRAS is a small village nestled between huge almost vertical mountain slopes in the heart of Madeira. There is only one road that leads serpentine to the 633 m high valley. Originally the valley was inhabited by nomads and shepherds. Towards the end of the 15th century, the land became the property of the nuns of the Santa Clara convent.
The name Curral das Freiras means "pen of the nuns". In the 16th and 17th centuries, the island was repeatedly attacked by pirates, and the nuns retreated here to the protection of the mountains, which are up to 700 meters high. Here people still live from what they grow themselves on their fertile fields. One of the specialties of the village is chestnuts. They are used to make liqueur, cakes, bread and soups, which are also sold to tourists. On November 1 of each year, the Chestnut Festival is held here.
Not many tourists come to SANTA CRUZ, although this place is certainly worth a visit. There is quite a pretty old town with the church of San Salvador built in 1533 as well as like a large modern market hall just behind the long gray pebble beach lined with date palms.
Just north of Santa Cruz is Madeira Island's airport, renamed "Cristiano Ronaldo" Airport in 2007. Opened in 1964 and reconstructed in 2000, this airport is one of the most dangerous in the world. The 2777 m long runway is built on the rocky coast above the water and looks like a bridge with large concrete supports. A large parking lot has been built below this runway.
Before the landing approach, the mountain massif must be overcome so that the narrow runway can be approached. Unfortunately, there have been numerous accidents, but this is still one of the busiest airports in Portugal.
From Santa Cruz we drove to MACHICO, one of the larger towns of Madeira. Machico profited from sugar cane cultivation in the 15th century and is now a modern town, which is divided into two halves by the Ribeira da Machico. On the eastern bank of the river is the historic fishing quarter with the main square surrounded by tall laurel trees.
The town church of Nossa Senhora da Conceicao in the center was built in the 15th century and partially rebuilt in the 18th century. Opposite stands the town hall built in the early 20th century There are several fish restaurants here.
In the surroundings of the small village FAIAL there is still a lot of agriculture, e.g. wine and fruit growing. The village is dominated by the 600 m high Eagle Rock. Only a few tourists come here, because there is hardly anything worth seeing.
Most people come to Santana to see the famous "Casas de colmo". In total there are still about a hundred of these thatched historic wooden houses. They are very scattered throughout the municipality.
On the way back to Funchal we passed through Ribera fria. Here you can take a short hike up to the Miradouro dos Balcoes, from where you have a beautiful view of the mountains.
The peninsula PONTA DE SAO LOURENCO is 9 km long and 2 km wide. In 1982 it was declared a nature reserve, mainly to ensure the preservation of the fauna with the great variety of birds and the great occurrence of the native flora. The eastern tip of Madeira is barren and windy. One can no longer imagine that everything here was lushly forested.
Then, in spring, a carpet of flowers enlivens the bare hilltops. But also in other seasons the turquoise sea and the rocks in different shades - ocher, rust, gray and green-black - bring color to the area.
The south coast can be easily approached by boats, which is almost impossible on the drastically shaped north coast with its strong winds. There is a paved access road to the parking lot above Baia de Abra. Here you can also take the public bus.
From there there is a popular rocky hiking trail. This hike is absolutely not a walk. There are some climbs, often wooden stairs. You have no shade and are exposed to gusts of wind. To avoid being blown down somewhere, I ducked down and waited out the sometimes strong gusts - really quite extreme.
At the narrowest point with a land bridge only a few meters wide, the rock drops almost 100 m vertically - fortunately the place is secured with a fence.
The hike takes - depending on your condition - 2 to 3 hours. It also depends on whether you only walk to the plateau of Casa Sardinha - administration of the national park - or if you want to make the ascent to Pico Furado. Below the Casa there are some tables for picnics. From there there is also an entrance for swimming, which can certainly be pleasant in the summer.
On the way there are always beautiful views of the sea and the rock formations - e.g. the so-called rock gate. On the south side you can see the cages of a fish farm in the sea. In front of Sao Lourenco there are two small islands, on one of them stands the oldest (from 1870) lighthouse of Madeira.
From the cape we drove to CANICAL, the easternmost municipality of Madeira. This place is still characterized by fishing and boat building. Fishing boats are still built here and there is a large repair yard.
Over the 1000 m high Encumeada Pass we drove northeast to Sao Vicente. Unfortunately the old coastal road to Seixal and Porto Moniz was closed and we had to drive through many tunnels. A few years ago it was a special experience to drive on the narrow and winding ER 101 directly at the coast - on one side the high cliffs and on the other side the sea. But apparently the road has become too dangerous in the meantime because of constant falling rocks.
We got to Porto Moniz , and unfortunately the weather got worse, more and more clouds came up. The sea raged with huge waves to the shore. Porto Moniz is a nice little town located on the northwestern tip of Madeira, a region with high mountains and views of the endless Atlantic Ocean.
From Porto Moniz you can go hiking, for example on the coastal trail "Levada da Ribeira da Janela", one of the best hiking trails in Madeira.
Porto Moniz is known for its volcanic pools. Daytrippers mostly come for these pools filled with sea water.These pools owe their formation to a lava tongue that flowed into the sea here thousands of years ago, creating caves due to the force of wind and waves. The black basalt lava pools form swimming pools and are the attraction of Porto Moniz, because you can swim (swim) in them very well - at least in good weather...
There are two different lava pools in Porto Moniz: the completely natural pools and the western pools, which have been transformed into natural outdoor pools - there are no sharp rocks here. The surrounding rocks of the outdoor pool were built as a terrace , and here you can sunbathe. The pools are open every day - even in winter. But when we were there, there was no one in the water....
The natural pools are not safe because of the black sharp basalt rocks. It is very interesting to watch the waves as they crash against the rocks. The water is sometimes whirled into the air in such a way that it looks like a geyser.
The PICO DE ARIEIRO is the most visited mountain of Madeira, because it is the only one that has been opened up with a road, but it is only the third highest. The road was probably built primarily for the observatory and not necessarily for the tourists. Already the approach through pristine landscape with rugged rock and sparse vegetation is an experience.
If the weather is good, you have a breathtaking view all around. Equally beautiful, however, is the sight of white cushions of clouds hanging between the high mountains. In winter there can be ice and snow on the peaks. Since it had snowed on Madeira about 2 weeks before our trip there, we could still see the sparse remnants on the shaded layers.
From Pico de Arieiro you can hike up to Pico Ruivo (1861 m) if the weather is good. At the beginning, the path is quite wide and in places secured by railings. Some then walk at least to the first viewpoint - the rocky peak Niho de Mata with beautiful views. The entire hike up to Pico Ruivo is clearly difficult, even if there are partially secured stairways since the 1960s. Some of the paths are steep up to 700 m, the rock steps are high, the paths are sometimes narrow and beaten, and it also goes through unlit tunnels. So you should have a good condition and be free from giddiness and sure-footed.
2023.05.28 08:16 Real-Egg5072 I broke up with my boyfriend and now I feel guilty
Obligatory sorry for the format bc I’m on mobile. I have a fearful avoidant attachment style, so I’ve ghosted a lot of people, and my ex was one of the first people I didn’t do that with.
We didn’t have a great first date. We had to wait in line for like an hour in cold weather, and I realized pretty soon that we were very different. But I had committed to not ghosting people and being open to things that scared me, so when he texted me the next week, I was going with it. For me, our relationship (before and after we started dating for the first couple months) was stressful. This was my first relationship. He was my first kiss, even. And I felt many times throughout our relationship that I might want to break up with him. But I stuck through it, telling myself that I was just doing what I always do, and didn’t want to rush any decisions. He really fucked up on the trip we went on, said some not so great things to me and I really wanted to break up after that, but that was right when we really started to connect, when I got used to the relationship, started to really love him, or so I thought. And he had been even better since then, he apologized and we worked on making things better. He’s a great guy.
But fast forward to last night bc it’s technically morning for me now. I had been thinking about breaking up with him for the past day or two, i can’t articulate why exactly, and as I tried to explain this to him, I kept getting confused and I really hurt him. But I did this meditation about fear and watched a video about healing the fearful avoidant attachment style. And after that I let go of the feeling that I had to stay with him because I had to try before I just ran like I used to. Now he’s really really in love with me and doesn’t think he’ll ever find someone like me. I’m such a shit person for now doing this earlier. I feel like I strung him along because I was scared and I wanted this relationship to work when from the beginning it wasn’t. I could have broke up months ago. Now we’ve know each other almost 7 months and dated for 5. I just hope he finds someone amazing and gets over me as much as I hope I do too. The weird thing is I felt relief after we broke up, like I was less stressed, so I don’t think I made a bad decision despite what he says, I’m just feeling guilty and a bit scared of being alone forever. I think we’ll still be friends/FWB but he also says he’s too in love with me to be friends, which makes me feeI so sad.
submitted by Real-Egg5072 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
We didn’t have a great first date. We had to wait in line for like an hour in cold weather, and I realized pretty soon that we were very different. But I had committed to not ghosting people and being open to things that scared me, so when he texted me the next week, I was going with it. For me, our relationship (before and after we started dating for the first couple months) was stressful. This was my first relationship. He was my first kiss, even. And I felt many times throughout our relationship that I might want to break up with him. But I stuck through it, telling myself that I was just doing what I always do, and didn’t want to rush any decisions. He really fucked up on the trip we went on, said some not so great things to me and I really wanted to break up after that, but that was right when we really started to connect, when I got used to the relationship, started to really love him, or so I thought. And he had been even better since then, he apologized and we worked on making things better. He’s a great guy.
But fast forward to last night bc it’s technically morning for me now. I had been thinking about breaking up with him for the past day or two, i can’t articulate why exactly, and as I tried to explain this to him, I kept getting confused and I really hurt him. But I did this meditation about fear and watched a video about healing the fearful avoidant attachment style. And after that I let go of the feeling that I had to stay with him because I had to try before I just ran like I used to. Now he’s really really in love with me and doesn’t think he’ll ever find someone like me. I’m such a shit person for now doing this earlier. I feel like I strung him along because I was scared and I wanted this relationship to work when from the beginning it wasn’t. I could have broke up months ago. Now we’ve know each other almost 7 months and dated for 5. I just hope he finds someone amazing and gets over me as much as I hope I do too. The weird thing is I felt relief after we broke up, like I was less stressed, so I don’t think I made a bad decision despite what he says, I’m just feeling guilty and a bit scared of being alone forever. I think we’ll still be friends/FWB but he also says he’s too in love with me to be friends, which makes me feeI so sad.
2023.05.28 07:59 psycho-ceramic 23F looking for someone to share things with [chat]
Hi!
I’m just looking for someone who I can share things with (thoughts, feelings, opinions, dumb jokes, how my day was) free from any fear of judgement. And I would love to hear the same things back!
A little about me - I love crafting, superheroes, Star Wars, animals, and truthfully there’s not much I dislike talking about or learning about. I really like to talk to people about things that they’re passionate about, and I think one of the purposes of life is simply to learn from each other. I could talk for hours about the meaning of finite life in an infinite universe, or for just as long about the mistreatment of Stephanie Brown in DC Comics.
So if you’d like to connect and have someone to talk about your day, your passions, your feelings, your conflicts, or any other random shit that’s on your mind, I’d love to hear it.
submitted by psycho-ceramic to MeetPeople [link] [comments]
I’m just looking for someone who I can share things with (thoughts, feelings, opinions, dumb jokes, how my day was) free from any fear of judgement. And I would love to hear the same things back!
A little about me - I love crafting, superheroes, Star Wars, animals, and truthfully there’s not much I dislike talking about or learning about. I really like to talk to people about things that they’re passionate about, and I think one of the purposes of life is simply to learn from each other. I could talk for hours about the meaning of finite life in an infinite universe, or for just as long about the mistreatment of Stephanie Brown in DC Comics.
So if you’d like to connect and have someone to talk about your day, your passions, your feelings, your conflicts, or any other random shit that’s on your mind, I’d love to hear it.
2023.05.28 07:57 Samanese Mixing architecture with landscape
I live within an hour of Mt Rainier, and I was wondering why Washington hasn’t made any towns that are centered on tourism based on views of Rainier?
I guess I’m just thinking about all the towns in Japan with good views of Mt Fuji..
submitted by Samanese to Washington [link] [comments]
I guess I’m just thinking about all the towns in Japan with good views of Mt Fuji..
2023.05.28 07:57 SolaroscopyApollo The real reason the stars disappear from the city.
It was December 31st, 1999 and we just blew out my first double-digit candles.
My parents moved from Louisiana to inner-city Seattle, this means that I was surprised and kinda shocked to have my birthday party in Graham, in the countryside.
We just blew out my candles. It was 11:50 at night. Everyone was tired and knocked out due to eating ungodly amounts of Southern food that my mother had cooked.
I was laying on a big branch in the forest, not too far from the farm, I just needed to breathe while everyone was asleep. I'm a fast sleeper, so the noises almost carried to Sandman's graces but my mother popped out of nowhere. She was carrying a bundle of fireworks.
My mother was a nice and intiutive woman. They say that women in general have intuition. I just say that insane intuition is an my-mom only type trait. She always knew that I wasn't good with social gatherings and liked to listen to nature...sounds. not be in nature.
My mother climbed on top the giant branch.
She told me a story. A story about the stars.
She told me that the stars in heaven are ghosts. The ghosts always liked to be together and they never really wanted to be too alone.
When we were in the city, we never saw the stars.
I asked my mother, "When we were in Seattle, we don't ever see no stars. Why?"
My mother stopped and started to think. She followed it with, "My child, the stars are people too. Maybe we if saw them in the city where there are lots of people, we would find their most mysterious secrets. Now, they don't want that just like we have secrets we don't wanna tell."
"Mother, that's kinda dumb, what secret might they have that we don't know?"
"My boy, that's a secret only God knows."
We didn't speak for the rest of the night. We just shot fireworks. We didn't see the stars that night. We only saw fireworks as the rainbow explosion covered the sky of Heaven over Earth.
That was the best memory of my mother.
She died in her sleep of a brain aneurysm. Instant Death
When they let me coordinate the funeral, I had the coffin covered in a massive golden leaf star. We put the coffin back in her home in Louisiana.
This happened when I was 15. I spoke to a psychologist, Dr. T, as he was commonly referred to by his other patients due to his facial hair.. Dr. Tallman helped me through my mother's death. This kickstarted my passion for psychological research. Later when I was 25, I was a leading researcher for both psychology and astronomy for astronauts and others that were exposed to bizarre events or circumstances that affected psychological health as well as recording events in outer space.
On April 25th 2018, I was called down to NASA. I had a Level 7, also known as Level Apollyon. I had to move to a military base in Washington in the Rocky Mountains. I was still in a state of confusion. I was called down and I was told to never reveal the secret as it was top-secret classified information.
I walked down to the Solar Observation Room, the room specifically dealing with observation of the sun's inner sound. They said that they had a theory that only the Level 10s, specifically world leaders and leading researchers in the entire world know about.
They said that they are only allowing a certain piece of information to be allowed to Level 7 for researching events that happened concurrently to this revelation.
The stars were alive.
The stars had hearts inside which pumped.
We found them out in 1986, when a satellite, was near the sun and found a crater that showed a beating heart.
The stars were alive
The stars are real
The stars are alive?
I was dumbfounded to say the absolute simple least. The stars however were lately releasing unknown radiation or energy that was affecting Earth, it started happening in West Virginia.
We had multiple messages in 1986 after the sun was discovered as a organism.
"WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE."
"SLOW DOWN"
"NO LEARNING"
"WOLVES KILL SHEPHARDS"
We have no idea what the hell these messages are talking about.
This was the beginning of the end. We really had no way to going back, we didn't know we were supposed to.
May 29th, 2020, West Virginia.
I was writing down ideas in my notebook for years. Google Doc upon Google Doc filled with theories and explanations.
Known effects on West Virginia have only been tied to West Virginia.
These known effects are: - Merging of human and wildlife. - Carnivorous herbivores. - Raining specifically on cemeteries. - Bizarre lightning related activities around churches
Nothing too wild compared to the events that are happening right now in Seattle, New York, Los Angeles, and Miami.
Special teams called the Flashbangs are sent out after a bizarre event. These use a special gas to make them forget approximately 10 hours. Some civilian who may be immune are euthanized in secret.
The first of these events happened in West Virginia.
At 6:30 PM, the rain had turn from clear to a red color and had started to rise up back into the air in the form of droplets. The water factory in West Virginia had to stop all water after finding out that a third of the water had turned into sheep blood.
The citizens and people at the factory were visited by the Flashbangs.
I landed in Virginia for the second event that happened. It was unusually snowy, it was reported in the forest. I drove on an ATV, alone into the thick wood. The trip was 7-ish minutes until I came up on a meateating doe was feasting a rabbit. The glowing eyes stared into my head.
"YOU ARE STILL LOOKING UP. STOP."
"THIS IS A WARNING"
"HAVE FAITH"
I immediately reported the findings to my superior.
I decided that I needed to breathe. I went to my home in Seattle and took a paid leave.
April 12, 2022
I decided to take around and out of the city for a minute. I was watching the sky as I was driving in my car. The stars were not there. It was just light pollution. I started to crack a smile as the stars begin to pop up as I went further and further away from the city.
I started to think, if the stars were trying to warn us, why didn't they tell the public?
I stopped the car when I looked down and saw another fucking doe.
The neck started contorting into a weird shape, new flesh was growing into the throat of the deer. The deer looked like it was going choke on it's own neck.
"Stop looking up."
It spoke calmly. More calmly than the last doe in West Virginia.
Then more of them showed up.
"Stop looking up, STOP IT."
They went away.
I immediately drew a connection to the stars in the sky.
This may be what I can write at the moment. I need to sleep.
My alcohol is getting low and I don't wanna talk about this. I'm going to speak on this, tomorrow.
submitted by SolaroscopyApollo to nosleep [link] [comments]
My parents moved from Louisiana to inner-city Seattle, this means that I was surprised and kinda shocked to have my birthday party in Graham, in the countryside.
We just blew out my candles. It was 11:50 at night. Everyone was tired and knocked out due to eating ungodly amounts of Southern food that my mother had cooked.
I was laying on a big branch in the forest, not too far from the farm, I just needed to breathe while everyone was asleep. I'm a fast sleeper, so the noises almost carried to Sandman's graces but my mother popped out of nowhere. She was carrying a bundle of fireworks.
My mother was a nice and intiutive woman. They say that women in general have intuition. I just say that insane intuition is an my-mom only type trait. She always knew that I wasn't good with social gatherings and liked to listen to nature...sounds. not be in nature.
My mother climbed on top the giant branch.
She told me a story. A story about the stars.
She told me that the stars in heaven are ghosts. The ghosts always liked to be together and they never really wanted to be too alone.
When we were in the city, we never saw the stars.
I asked my mother, "When we were in Seattle, we don't ever see no stars. Why?"
My mother stopped and started to think. She followed it with, "My child, the stars are people too. Maybe we if saw them in the city where there are lots of people, we would find their most mysterious secrets. Now, they don't want that just like we have secrets we don't wanna tell."
"Mother, that's kinda dumb, what secret might they have that we don't know?"
"My boy, that's a secret only God knows."
We didn't speak for the rest of the night. We just shot fireworks. We didn't see the stars that night. We only saw fireworks as the rainbow explosion covered the sky of Heaven over Earth.
That was the best memory of my mother.
She died in her sleep of a brain aneurysm. Instant Death
When they let me coordinate the funeral, I had the coffin covered in a massive golden leaf star. We put the coffin back in her home in Louisiana.
This happened when I was 15. I spoke to a psychologist, Dr. T, as he was commonly referred to by his other patients due to his facial hair.. Dr. Tallman helped me through my mother's death. This kickstarted my passion for psychological research. Later when I was 25, I was a leading researcher for both psychology and astronomy for astronauts and others that were exposed to bizarre events or circumstances that affected psychological health as well as recording events in outer space.
On April 25th 2018, I was called down to NASA. I had a Level 7, also known as Level Apollyon. I had to move to a military base in Washington in the Rocky Mountains. I was still in a state of confusion. I was called down and I was told to never reveal the secret as it was top-secret classified information.
I walked down to the Solar Observation Room, the room specifically dealing with observation of the sun's inner sound. They said that they had a theory that only the Level 10s, specifically world leaders and leading researchers in the entire world know about.
They said that they are only allowing a certain piece of information to be allowed to Level 7 for researching events that happened concurrently to this revelation.
The stars were alive.
The stars had hearts inside which pumped.
We found them out in 1986, when a satellite, was near the sun and found a crater that showed a beating heart.
The stars were alive
The stars are real
The stars are alive?
I was dumbfounded to say the absolute simple least. The stars however were lately releasing unknown radiation or energy that was affecting Earth, it started happening in West Virginia.
We had multiple messages in 1986 after the sun was discovered as a organism.
"WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE."
"SLOW DOWN"
"NO LEARNING"
"WOLVES KILL SHEPHARDS"
We have no idea what the hell these messages are talking about.
This was the beginning of the end. We really had no way to going back, we didn't know we were supposed to.
May 29th, 2020, West Virginia.
I was writing down ideas in my notebook for years. Google Doc upon Google Doc filled with theories and explanations.
Known effects on West Virginia have only been tied to West Virginia.
These known effects are: - Merging of human and wildlife. - Carnivorous herbivores. - Raining specifically on cemeteries. - Bizarre lightning related activities around churches
Nothing too wild compared to the events that are happening right now in Seattle, New York, Los Angeles, and Miami.
Special teams called the Flashbangs are sent out after a bizarre event. These use a special gas to make them forget approximately 10 hours. Some civilian who may be immune are euthanized in secret.
The first of these events happened in West Virginia.
At 6:30 PM, the rain had turn from clear to a red color and had started to rise up back into the air in the form of droplets. The water factory in West Virginia had to stop all water after finding out that a third of the water had turned into sheep blood.
The citizens and people at the factory were visited by the Flashbangs.
I landed in Virginia for the second event that happened. It was unusually snowy, it was reported in the forest. I drove on an ATV, alone into the thick wood. The trip was 7-ish minutes until I came up on a meateating doe was feasting a rabbit. The glowing eyes stared into my head.
"YOU ARE STILL LOOKING UP. STOP."
"THIS IS A WARNING"
"HAVE FAITH"
I immediately reported the findings to my superior.
I decided that I needed to breathe. I went to my home in Seattle and took a paid leave.
April 12, 2022
I decided to take around and out of the city for a minute. I was watching the sky as I was driving in my car. The stars were not there. It was just light pollution. I started to crack a smile as the stars begin to pop up as I went further and further away from the city.
I started to think, if the stars were trying to warn us, why didn't they tell the public?
I stopped the car when I looked down and saw another fucking doe.
The neck started contorting into a weird shape, new flesh was growing into the throat of the deer. The deer looked like it was going choke on it's own neck.
"Stop looking up."
It spoke calmly. More calmly than the last doe in West Virginia.
Then more of them showed up.
"Stop looking up, STOP IT."
They went away.
I immediately drew a connection to the stars in the sky.
This may be what I can write at the moment. I need to sleep.
My alcohol is getting low and I don't wanna talk about this. I'm going to speak on this, tomorrow.
2023.05.28 07:25 rookiepatchaut Best city for walking? San Antonio - Dallas - Houston
Walking is a big part of my life. I like to walk 1-2 hours each day, and I try to mix it up between walking around my local neighborhood and places within a ten minute drive.
Between San Antonio, Dallas, and Houston, which city would you say is the most walkable (has sidewalks, has crosswalks, has shaded paths, relatively safe, bearable summer weather)?
submitted by rookiepatchaut to texas [link] [comments]
Between San Antonio, Dallas, and Houston, which city would you say is the most walkable (has sidewalks, has crosswalks, has shaded paths, relatively safe, bearable summer weather)?
2023.05.28 07:25 fishpeanuts AITA for leaving my kids in the car for 3 hours during 105F Arizona weather so I can drink at the bar?
I also had 5 beers and drove them home.
submitted by fishpeanuts to circlejerk [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 07:07 Friend2Everyone 90% of europeans cant name this state!!!
 | submitted by Friend2Everyone to mapporncirclejerk [link] [comments] |
2023.05.28 07:02 MainPresentation8605 Don’t tease me, bro. Don’t post this gardener’s serenade on your weather app and then not deliver.
 | submitted by MainPresentation8605 to u/MainPresentation8605 [link] [comments] |
2023.05.28 06:50 OrganizationNo9819 My personal development(opinions)
MY PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
INTRODUCTION
Hello there! My name is Siddharth Rai and I live in India. I am a twenty-six-year-old male and I live with my parents. I work at the nearby airport as an electrical engineer. I have a younger sister who is studying zoology in a college nearby and she lives away from us due to her college. My writing style might not be appealing but I would be happy if you read and reviewed my article. It will help me get new interesting things to you. I hope you enjoy reading this.
I have always wanted to write a book. I like to write poems, I like music, I like art and I like to travel. I have never travelled out of my country except to Nepal. Nepal is quite nearby to where I live. I live in the eastern India, Darjeeling. Some of you might have heard or visited the place before. I live in the foothills though- Siliguri but the district is Darjeeling. I have spent around thirteen years of my life in Darjeeling. I miss those golden days that I have spent with my family and friends in Darjeeling. Those days will never come back again. It is a beautiful pain. All the crazy things that we do as teenagers, I did it in Darjeeling- fighting, having girlfriends, forming a band, roaming around the streets- everything. Some of the people I met on the streets are now superstars and some homeless vagabonds. Some are married and some committed suicide because they couldn’t love. I am just a regular guy like you. I think I am below average when it comes to money, prestige, personality and many other things that define us- a lifestyle.
The reason I thought about writing this article is because I want to become a better person as I am approaching towards my thirties. I have heard somewhere that writing makes it easier and effective to do something that we want to do. I hope this article will help you in some way or the other. I will share some of the deepest things that I feel. I will talk about my past. I will let you know about my present and I will also try to show you the future that I have visioned for myself. I will be talking about my personality development.
PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT
We have often heard about the word personality. We have often heard about one getting complimented for their personalities and sometimes people finding their personalities not matching with others, mostly to their partners. It’s interesting to see us being conscious about so many things in our lives. Our beauty, physique, clothes, status in the society, possessions, partners and other small things like our fear of facing people, inferiority, pride, love, attachment. Well personality is a sphere where all of the conscious things are confined into.
It is the way we react to the factors that make us feel something- good or bad. Feeling good includes many things- paragliding, completing a trek, listening to classical music, releasing a music video. Feeling bad might feel like thinking about the moment that hurts you- could be anything, you know better.
How are you going to react to the situations-now and then? That defines your personality. If you ask the instructor for your money back after a paragliding session because you couldn’t fly for another ten minutes because of the weather then you need to work on some parts of your life and if you left your girl with the man and her friends just because you missed the party the previous night then you need to work on some part of your life- you might be using your head too much. I am worried about how am I going to handle a relationship in the future because I’ve messed up my previous ones- I need to work on some part of my life. My personality is not balanced.
Personality is a gift- a box of chocolates- it’s tasty but harmful if eaten too much.
THAT’S HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
It was the last day of 2017 and my girlfriend had come to Siliguri with her friends. I had my aunt come over from a distant place and we had to go visit our relatives, so I was caught up with my family. My girlfriend called me and told me that she was around in the market with her friends and some unknown person gave them a lift back home. I told her to be cautious around and we agreed to meet the next day. Late night she told me how she missed me, and she went to sleep early that night. I thought she was cheating on me, and I sent her some rubbish texts. Cool- the night passed quite fast.
I went to meet her the very next morning just to see a guy in their apartment. He was my old friend. She told me that he had just arrived. And he looked like he had just woken up. Good! She treated me like a kid, and I know I was in the wrong place with wrong people. She tried to be herself, but I didn’t feel her. In my mind I was constantly thinking about she is cheating on me. I left the place early and booked two tickets for me and her to get back home. They came late. I had to travel with them. This guy had a car. An unknown man giving them a lift back home, sleeping early, not wanting to go home with me- I was hurt and mad. I wanted to break up already. But I waited because I wasn’t sure if it was the right reason to leave her. So, I waited and just after two months I saw her with a different guy. This time she had come to visit me, but I went to play basketball with my friends because she wanted to have some time with her cousins. Well, I was late by a couple of hours, and she called up her friend and had him over as a company- this guy was the one whom she met when we had a fight back in 2016. Her friend had introduced them to each other- her friend who wanted her to break up with me because I was a needy, passive and a childlike boyfriend- who always was insecure, quarrelling and a noob. This friend of hers was the one whom I admired back in high school.
We broke up January 2018 for good. It was the third or the fourth time, but we broke up finally, forever. I wanted to break up with her because I thought I wasn’t good enough for her. Well, it was a whole different reason for me because the actual reason why I wanted to break up with her was because I wasn’t feeling loved. I didn’t have the guts to accept it and move on. I used to think it will hurt her badly, she is an innocent girl, and I would give it a new chance. I once put my mobile on complete shut down for a month to get away from her- that was the time she changed drastically because she realized that I wasn’t into her anymore. But we got back together shortly- she loved me after all, and so did I because I realized that instead of roaming around with strangers it was better for me to strengthen my relationships with people who love me- I was wrong. She had other guys in her life now- like that guy in their apartment, like that guy her friend had introduced to her and that addict guy who she had her in her phone list.
I was alone-broken. I put too much pressure on my rational mind and started emphasizing on my emotions. I brought this cloud of sadness over me. I wanted to put her into depression- I did. I was depressed too. Influence. My friend was a depressed person. He would talk about how depressed he was, how his past relationships had failed, how jealous he was of me, how he would talk about suicides and philosophies that I couldn’t understand. Influence! I don’t hang around with him anymore. I don’t meet him. He has a good job now. He is financially stable and has a girlfriend. I have no idea about my ex. We haven’t talked with each other since the day we parted our ways- she is hurt you know. I hurt her more than anybody else and I don’t want to go back to her with my dark shadow over her head. I am fine alone with my personality development obsession and sickness. I hope both of them are safe and sound.
I want to forget about my past but I can’t because I have hurt some of the best people of my life like my parents, family, friends, teachers, girlfriend and even a dog- damn! I wonder if she is alive- Dalli the dog. My friend’s dog. She gave birth to two little puppies. One is with us-a mother now- Lily. Lily makes me happy. She is wonderful. The only reason why I was facing the hardest time of my life was because I didn’t have any purpose in life. I wasn’t fulfilling my duty-studying. I would get high the entire day, miss my classes and sleep after a masturbation session. Food and shelter were available for me as my parents paid for it. They would send money every month and I would eat, get high, sleep- repeat. I did this for two years and my girlfriend was gone, I had failed in my semesters like a dead toad, I was financially depressed, I had lost weight, I was now a little jerk. I wasn’t happy. I never wanted to kill myself though. I wasn’t raised that way. My father was in the army, and you know how it is in the military family- respect and discipline but I packed my bags and returned back home during my third year and a year of my college was still left behind.
When I went back home, I couldn’t find my peace because my aunt was living with my mother with her little daughter- my sister. When I went there to live with my mother there were four ladies and me- one man. I had habits and it was difficult for me to maintain them. The rooms were small, and everything was audible. I had a habit of masturbating before sleep. And my aunt would sleep in the room right next to mine. I sometimes wanted to screw her up, but I knew it was not a moral decision. I wanted to seduce her just to masturbate but I couldn’t because I didn’t know how to. And interestingly I was a virgin until twenty-five years old. That was one of the reasons why my relationship didn’t work out with that girl because I couldn’t fuck. I mean she would say after marriage, but she would also get naked and get missionary, but I was facing mild erectile dysfunction because of heavy marijuana dosage, porn and excessive masturbation. So, maybe that didn’t work out. I left my mother’s comfort and came back to college to complete my education and I did but a year later. My psycho friend had passed his college and I was left behind with another friend of mine- loser no.2. I think he still is a virgin. But I am not. Not anymore!
My friends and I none of us got placed. We were jobless and there was corona virus and lockdown. It was good time for assholes like me to waste life away. I would spend my day by playing Pubg with my friends, watching porn and masturbating. My good time had begun. I was lucky enough to have faced an interview with the army for army engineering and not lucky enough for selection but reaching that spot where I was trying to compete to become an officer in the army. I was lucky enough to have got the chance to spend my time peacefully with my mother and my sister. My aunt had gone back home- her child had a vacation now- due corona and all.
One of my cousins are the in army. He was home for a break, and he motivated me to jog in the morning. I ran for two or three months but quit. But my mind was now looking for motivation to stay fit. One day I was watching porn and masturbation. Right after ejaculation I decided to stop watching porn and masturbating. Oh! Good days! I felt so good that day when I didn’t masturbate. I felt clean and guilt free. I was free now. I would miss my ex though. Her smile, her sadness, the burden she had due to me, the heavy heart that she had because she never wanted to leave me. I hope she is free and happy. I wish her the best and ask for forgiveness for every little thing that I did to her. I never wanted to make you cry but I am sorry. I have realized my mistakes now and I want to see you with a smiling face one day. I have moved on, but I am around, and I hope you too. Take care.
My friends have hurt me too and I have hurt them too. My family has hurt me, and I have hurt them too. People change but you don’t. Things always happen to you. Girlfriend, friends, family, money and etc.
FOCUS
If I could move a mountain, I would try to carry it around on my shoulders. A child, a teenager, an adult, a man, a woman, old, new no matter who, everyone is trying to find something in their lives- focus. If they lose focus, they will never be able to talk. Try not thinking anything and talking- you will notice how your brain coordinates your speech. We don’t care what we talk about because we are focused on something- conveying our message. It’s important to learn how to improve your focus. Thus, in order to improve your focus let’s try:
If you can’t quit, then it means you are inspired. Inspiration and motivation are two different things. You can’t inspire someone verbally, but you can motivate them. Inspiration is long lasting, and motivation is short term. Motivation is like fuel to your inspiration. You will understand it. Just try to do something that you are interested in for three months. That’s a goal.
I am interested in many things. Interest as I say please refer to skills- just to make it easier for you to understand the difference between hobbies and interests. My interests are in programming, designing electrical circuits, photography and content writing. These are skills that I want to acquire, and I am “interested in”. My interest can’t be lifelong because I have distractions around. So, with a small technique I can learn these skills without losing my interest. The technique is numbering. Just put make a list of things that you want to learn. It will help you not lose your interest.
How to keep your interest alive?
You can try writing them down on a diary. Make a list of your interest. Interests are those skills that can make you famous, rich and happy like painting, programming etc. Show your interests to the world on social platforms to gain fame, sell them or get a job to get rich and master your skills to be happy. Have some interest friends.
Basically, if you have a good body, wealth, character, behavior, manner, education, then you will have a personality that is safe and sound. People below your level will not mess with you and you won’t mess with people that are above you. But you will become someone who can deal with both the types because it’s not every day you get to meet and talk to the president and it’s seldom you need to avoid people that can harm you- rich and the poor.
Thank you for sticking to this post for such a long time. I feel humble enough to present this article to you. I would like to apologize if anybody was offended in this post. I can’t think more than this my friends. I would appreciate it if you left your valuable comments on this. Thanks, and may God bless you.
submitted by OrganizationNo9819 to u/OrganizationNo9819 [link] [comments]
INTRODUCTION
Hello there! My name is Siddharth Rai and I live in India. I am a twenty-six-year-old male and I live with my parents. I work at the nearby airport as an electrical engineer. I have a younger sister who is studying zoology in a college nearby and she lives away from us due to her college. My writing style might not be appealing but I would be happy if you read and reviewed my article. It will help me get new interesting things to you. I hope you enjoy reading this.
I have always wanted to write a book. I like to write poems, I like music, I like art and I like to travel. I have never travelled out of my country except to Nepal. Nepal is quite nearby to where I live. I live in the eastern India, Darjeeling. Some of you might have heard or visited the place before. I live in the foothills though- Siliguri but the district is Darjeeling. I have spent around thirteen years of my life in Darjeeling. I miss those golden days that I have spent with my family and friends in Darjeeling. Those days will never come back again. It is a beautiful pain. All the crazy things that we do as teenagers, I did it in Darjeeling- fighting, having girlfriends, forming a band, roaming around the streets- everything. Some of the people I met on the streets are now superstars and some homeless vagabonds. Some are married and some committed suicide because they couldn’t love. I am just a regular guy like you. I think I am below average when it comes to money, prestige, personality and many other things that define us- a lifestyle.
The reason I thought about writing this article is because I want to become a better person as I am approaching towards my thirties. I have heard somewhere that writing makes it easier and effective to do something that we want to do. I hope this article will help you in some way or the other. I will share some of the deepest things that I feel. I will talk about my past. I will let you know about my present and I will also try to show you the future that I have visioned for myself. I will be talking about my personality development.
PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT
We have often heard about the word personality. We have often heard about one getting complimented for their personalities and sometimes people finding their personalities not matching with others, mostly to their partners. It’s interesting to see us being conscious about so many things in our lives. Our beauty, physique, clothes, status in the society, possessions, partners and other small things like our fear of facing people, inferiority, pride, love, attachment. Well personality is a sphere where all of the conscious things are confined into.
It is the way we react to the factors that make us feel something- good or bad. Feeling good includes many things- paragliding, completing a trek, listening to classical music, releasing a music video. Feeling bad might feel like thinking about the moment that hurts you- could be anything, you know better.
How are you going to react to the situations-now and then? That defines your personality. If you ask the instructor for your money back after a paragliding session because you couldn’t fly for another ten minutes because of the weather then you need to work on some parts of your life and if you left your girl with the man and her friends just because you missed the party the previous night then you need to work on some part of your life- you might be using your head too much. I am worried about how am I going to handle a relationship in the future because I’ve messed up my previous ones- I need to work on some part of my life. My personality is not balanced.
Personality is a gift- a box of chocolates- it’s tasty but harmful if eaten too much.
THAT’S HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
It was the last day of 2017 and my girlfriend had come to Siliguri with her friends. I had my aunt come over from a distant place and we had to go visit our relatives, so I was caught up with my family. My girlfriend called me and told me that she was around in the market with her friends and some unknown person gave them a lift back home. I told her to be cautious around and we agreed to meet the next day. Late night she told me how she missed me, and she went to sleep early that night. I thought she was cheating on me, and I sent her some rubbish texts. Cool- the night passed quite fast.
I went to meet her the very next morning just to see a guy in their apartment. He was my old friend. She told me that he had just arrived. And he looked like he had just woken up. Good! She treated me like a kid, and I know I was in the wrong place with wrong people. She tried to be herself, but I didn’t feel her. In my mind I was constantly thinking about she is cheating on me. I left the place early and booked two tickets for me and her to get back home. They came late. I had to travel with them. This guy had a car. An unknown man giving them a lift back home, sleeping early, not wanting to go home with me- I was hurt and mad. I wanted to break up already. But I waited because I wasn’t sure if it was the right reason to leave her. So, I waited and just after two months I saw her with a different guy. This time she had come to visit me, but I went to play basketball with my friends because she wanted to have some time with her cousins. Well, I was late by a couple of hours, and she called up her friend and had him over as a company- this guy was the one whom she met when we had a fight back in 2016. Her friend had introduced them to each other- her friend who wanted her to break up with me because I was a needy, passive and a childlike boyfriend- who always was insecure, quarrelling and a noob. This friend of hers was the one whom I admired back in high school.
We broke up January 2018 for good. It was the third or the fourth time, but we broke up finally, forever. I wanted to break up with her because I thought I wasn’t good enough for her. Well, it was a whole different reason for me because the actual reason why I wanted to break up with her was because I wasn’t feeling loved. I didn’t have the guts to accept it and move on. I used to think it will hurt her badly, she is an innocent girl, and I would give it a new chance. I once put my mobile on complete shut down for a month to get away from her- that was the time she changed drastically because she realized that I wasn’t into her anymore. But we got back together shortly- she loved me after all, and so did I because I realized that instead of roaming around with strangers it was better for me to strengthen my relationships with people who love me- I was wrong. She had other guys in her life now- like that guy in their apartment, like that guy her friend had introduced to her and that addict guy who she had her in her phone list.
I was alone-broken. I put too much pressure on my rational mind and started emphasizing on my emotions. I brought this cloud of sadness over me. I wanted to put her into depression- I did. I was depressed too. Influence. My friend was a depressed person. He would talk about how depressed he was, how his past relationships had failed, how jealous he was of me, how he would talk about suicides and philosophies that I couldn’t understand. Influence! I don’t hang around with him anymore. I don’t meet him. He has a good job now. He is financially stable and has a girlfriend. I have no idea about my ex. We haven’t talked with each other since the day we parted our ways- she is hurt you know. I hurt her more than anybody else and I don’t want to go back to her with my dark shadow over her head. I am fine alone with my personality development obsession and sickness. I hope both of them are safe and sound.
I want to forget about my past but I can’t because I have hurt some of the best people of my life like my parents, family, friends, teachers, girlfriend and even a dog- damn! I wonder if she is alive- Dalli the dog. My friend’s dog. She gave birth to two little puppies. One is with us-a mother now- Lily. Lily makes me happy. She is wonderful. The only reason why I was facing the hardest time of my life was because I didn’t have any purpose in life. I wasn’t fulfilling my duty-studying. I would get high the entire day, miss my classes and sleep after a masturbation session. Food and shelter were available for me as my parents paid for it. They would send money every month and I would eat, get high, sleep- repeat. I did this for two years and my girlfriend was gone, I had failed in my semesters like a dead toad, I was financially depressed, I had lost weight, I was now a little jerk. I wasn’t happy. I never wanted to kill myself though. I wasn’t raised that way. My father was in the army, and you know how it is in the military family- respect and discipline but I packed my bags and returned back home during my third year and a year of my college was still left behind.
When I went back home, I couldn’t find my peace because my aunt was living with my mother with her little daughter- my sister. When I went there to live with my mother there were four ladies and me- one man. I had habits and it was difficult for me to maintain them. The rooms were small, and everything was audible. I had a habit of masturbating before sleep. And my aunt would sleep in the room right next to mine. I sometimes wanted to screw her up, but I knew it was not a moral decision. I wanted to seduce her just to masturbate but I couldn’t because I didn’t know how to. And interestingly I was a virgin until twenty-five years old. That was one of the reasons why my relationship didn’t work out with that girl because I couldn’t fuck. I mean she would say after marriage, but she would also get naked and get missionary, but I was facing mild erectile dysfunction because of heavy marijuana dosage, porn and excessive masturbation. So, maybe that didn’t work out. I left my mother’s comfort and came back to college to complete my education and I did but a year later. My psycho friend had passed his college and I was left behind with another friend of mine- loser no.2. I think he still is a virgin. But I am not. Not anymore!
My friends and I none of us got placed. We were jobless and there was corona virus and lockdown. It was good time for assholes like me to waste life away. I would spend my day by playing Pubg with my friends, watching porn and masturbating. My good time had begun. I was lucky enough to have faced an interview with the army for army engineering and not lucky enough for selection but reaching that spot where I was trying to compete to become an officer in the army. I was lucky enough to have got the chance to spend my time peacefully with my mother and my sister. My aunt had gone back home- her child had a vacation now- due corona and all.
One of my cousins are the in army. He was home for a break, and he motivated me to jog in the morning. I ran for two or three months but quit. But my mind was now looking for motivation to stay fit. One day I was watching porn and masturbation. Right after ejaculation I decided to stop watching porn and masturbating. Oh! Good days! I felt so good that day when I didn’t masturbate. I felt clean and guilt free. I was free now. I would miss my ex though. Her smile, her sadness, the burden she had due to me, the heavy heart that she had because she never wanted to leave me. I hope she is free and happy. I wish her the best and ask for forgiveness for every little thing that I did to her. I never wanted to make you cry but I am sorry. I have realized my mistakes now and I want to see you with a smiling face one day. I have moved on, but I am around, and I hope you too. Take care.
My friends have hurt me too and I have hurt them too. My family has hurt me, and I have hurt them too. People change but you don’t. Things always happen to you. Girlfriend, friends, family, money and etc.
FOCUS
If I could move a mountain, I would try to carry it around on my shoulders. A child, a teenager, an adult, a man, a woman, old, new no matter who, everyone is trying to find something in their lives- focus. If they lose focus, they will never be able to talk. Try not thinking anything and talking- you will notice how your brain coordinates your speech. We don’t care what we talk about because we are focused on something- conveying our message. It’s important to learn how to improve your focus. Thus, in order to improve your focus let’s try:
- Meditating: Five to fifteen minutes a day- om meditation or guided meditation. Connect yourself with the inner spirit. Find out how heavy your chest is and how clouded your mind is. You are supposed to be as light the air and as clean as the water in the spring. Your mind should contain natural sceneries and not porn.
- Exercising: Your body is a masterpiece of art. A godly creation. The entire human civilization is based on bodies. The entire art and history show how great leaders and warriors and scholars looked like. They had extremely appealing bodies, no matter what nation they belonged to. Romans, Greeks, British, Chinese, Japanese, Indians, Gorkhas, Sikhs, Mughals, and Americans, all of them have an interesting thing to notice- their bodies. Fast and furious to giants and strong. They all are focused. Some ruling the nations, some fighting wars, some creating art, some politics and some philosophies. They have a balance between their and heart and their brain. Have you ever done a chin up? Next time you do try to notice how your heart gets connected to your brain like a hook linking a loop. So, dear friends- exercise.
- Study: I study engineering because I want to reach a better position in my career. You can study to be happy or flourish your business. But study something- learn.
- Work: Work. Move your body, use your head. Work. Let your body know about discomfort and tiredness. In these modern times we have found new ways to earn our livelihoods- investment especially. If you are not a broker who works, his heart out to analyze and make profit and you are the one who makes money and live luxurious life out of the money your broker made for you then you should at least spend some time trying to make money the hard way- at least a day. I know you have been through a lot, and you have finally found your financial peace, or you were born rich, but I must tell you he is not a man who doesn’t work. You can try house chores if nothing is coming to your mind. So, work just to get yourself in motion.
- Hobbies: I play dota2 and I want to play the internationals. I sing karaoke. Do what gets you excited to get back home.
- Read: Read books. I want to learn finance, health, relationship, science and engineering. You can read them too. Reading is something that makes time for your brain to rest for some time. It will settle down some of your chemical imbalances there.
- Write: Write your deepest feelings, write a short story, write essays. Write. You can’t always be verbally sharing things with others. Some things might have been missed and some left unsaid like the ones in the previous paragraphs. It’s just a good thing to do-write.
If you can’t quit, then it means you are inspired. Inspiration and motivation are two different things. You can’t inspire someone verbally, but you can motivate them. Inspiration is long lasting, and motivation is short term. Motivation is like fuel to your inspiration. You will understand it. Just try to do something that you are interested in for three months. That’s a goal.
I am interested in many things. Interest as I say please refer to skills- just to make it easier for you to understand the difference between hobbies and interests. My interests are in programming, designing electrical circuits, photography and content writing. These are skills that I want to acquire, and I am “interested in”. My interest can’t be lifelong because I have distractions around. So, with a small technique I can learn these skills without losing my interest. The technique is numbering. Just put make a list of things that you want to learn. It will help you not lose your interest.
How to keep your interest alive?
You can try writing them down on a diary. Make a list of your interest. Interests are those skills that can make you famous, rich and happy like painting, programming etc. Show your interests to the world on social platforms to gain fame, sell them or get a job to get rich and master your skills to be happy. Have some interest friends.
Basically, if you have a good body, wealth, character, behavior, manner, education, then you will have a personality that is safe and sound. People below your level will not mess with you and you won’t mess with people that are above you. But you will become someone who can deal with both the types because it’s not every day you get to meet and talk to the president and it’s seldom you need to avoid people that can harm you- rich and the poor.
Thank you for sticking to this post for such a long time. I feel humble enough to present this article to you. I would like to apologize if anybody was offended in this post. I can’t think more than this my friends. I would appreciate it if you left your valuable comments on this. Thanks, and may God bless you.
2023.05.28 06:47 halpoins Three openers they’ve tried on me (and to look out for)
In the span of five years and in two cities, Las Vegas and Washington DC, I was cold-approached with the following ruses by MLM scammers. Just to help people spot them extremely early I hope and avoid the first meeting altogether.
First one came up to me in the grocery store. I was picking out strawberries and he asked “how do you know which box you should take?” Read: he was trying to get me to explain my thinking so I would feel knowledgeable and that my opinion mattered to someone.
Second one also approached me in the grocery store as I was grabbing a carton of eggs. He pretended to already kinda know me (“wait…I know you right?”), a strategy which he might have lucked out choosing because I had just moved to the city and was meeting a lot of new faces at a new job so it was plausible I had not registered his name and face. However, with a couple questions it became clear he was never in any of my new social circles. Read: he was trying to make me feel special by suggesting I was recognizable whereas he was the forgettable one. Also, even if we are sure we don’t know someone it makes us uncomfortable to tell them they’re wrong, so the strong suggestion we’ve met is enough to cause us to at least be civil enough to go along with it.
Last one was at a metro station. I was sitting waiting for the train and a guy sat next to me and said “hey that’s a nice watch you’ve got.” But he chose his opener poorly, for it was not a nice watch by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe $30 from Fossil. Read: immediate compliment makes me feel good around this person and more receptive to what they have to say. (Ultimately we got on the same metro car and for fun I strung him along in a dead-end conversation. Once he said his day job had to do with nuclear reactors I rambled about the Chernobyl miniseries on HBO until right before my stop then hopped off.)
submitted by halpoins to antiMLM [link] [comments]
First one came up to me in the grocery store. I was picking out strawberries and he asked “how do you know which box you should take?” Read: he was trying to get me to explain my thinking so I would feel knowledgeable and that my opinion mattered to someone.
Second one also approached me in the grocery store as I was grabbing a carton of eggs. He pretended to already kinda know me (“wait…I know you right?”), a strategy which he might have lucked out choosing because I had just moved to the city and was meeting a lot of new faces at a new job so it was plausible I had not registered his name and face. However, with a couple questions it became clear he was never in any of my new social circles. Read: he was trying to make me feel special by suggesting I was recognizable whereas he was the forgettable one. Also, even if we are sure we don’t know someone it makes us uncomfortable to tell them they’re wrong, so the strong suggestion we’ve met is enough to cause us to at least be civil enough to go along with it.
Last one was at a metro station. I was sitting waiting for the train and a guy sat next to me and said “hey that’s a nice watch you’ve got.” But he chose his opener poorly, for it was not a nice watch by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe $30 from Fossil. Read: immediate compliment makes me feel good around this person and more receptive to what they have to say. (Ultimately we got on the same metro car and for fun I strung him along in a dead-end conversation. Once he said his day job had to do with nuclear reactors I rambled about the Chernobyl miniseries on HBO until right before my stop then hopped off.)
2023.05.28 06:47 Namesarehardplease 25 [M4F] PA/US/Anywhere - Night Owl Seeks Late Night Person Whoooos Interested in Something Meaningful.
Hello reddit! Did my title catch your attention? Cute right? I’m somewhat of a funny guy. Punny and attractive? What a score right? Ok, so I mean I’ve lurked for a while and sent some messages out but now instead of me sliding into y’all’s dms, you’ve got the chance to slide into mine!
Now a little bit about me? I’m a guy who’s far from got his life together! I’m definitely laid back, I have a general “go with the flow” attitude 80% of the time. I don’t sweat the small stuff, and hope you don’t either. I enjoy the finer things in life, like reading, writing and art! I’ve got an artsy side to me and can definitely show it off if you’re interested! Like most guys my age im definitely into video games and comics! Xbox and pc are my main platforms and I’ll fight over the dc vs marvel argument all day long. (DC is better)
I work full time in a bar, and I enjoy it but mostly im looking for a career change here soon. I’ve got a few ideas on what that’ll be but I’m oh so indecisive about that. Im also fairly active. I love playing soccer and hiking around on trails and in state parks when the weathers nice! Im definitely a mountains guy to a beach guy, winter is by far my favorite season. Can’t beat a nice cozy night snowed in with a warm fire. My dream one day would be to own a little homestead, with some animals and a nice little slice of paradise where the woes of the world won’t find us, sounds nice right? Im fit and I work out, so that’s something we can do together if you’re interested! My mom tells me I’m handsome so that’s a plus right?
Ideally what I’m looking for? Friends first and foremost. If we vibe, I’d love to move off reddit to somewhere that I get consistent notifications. Let’s be long term chat partners. If the connection is there and we both agree, maybe we move forward from there? Let’s build a life together? How fun is that? I don’t really have any real dealbreakers. Location, age, body type, race, etc. As long as we get along and there’s a mutual attraction, I’m coolio. Height is definitely something I find attractive in a woman. I’m 5’8 so like, if you’re taller I’ll swooon. I’m also generally attracted to people much older but neither are dealbreakers by any means.
So if you read this far and like me even ever so slightly shoot me a chat or DM, I’m waiting to hear from yoooou! :)
submitted by Namesarehardplease to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
Now a little bit about me? I’m a guy who’s far from got his life together! I’m definitely laid back, I have a general “go with the flow” attitude 80% of the time. I don’t sweat the small stuff, and hope you don’t either. I enjoy the finer things in life, like reading, writing and art! I’ve got an artsy side to me and can definitely show it off if you’re interested! Like most guys my age im definitely into video games and comics! Xbox and pc are my main platforms and I’ll fight over the dc vs marvel argument all day long. (DC is better)
I work full time in a bar, and I enjoy it but mostly im looking for a career change here soon. I’ve got a few ideas on what that’ll be but I’m oh so indecisive about that. Im also fairly active. I love playing soccer and hiking around on trails and in state parks when the weathers nice! Im definitely a mountains guy to a beach guy, winter is by far my favorite season. Can’t beat a nice cozy night snowed in with a warm fire. My dream one day would be to own a little homestead, with some animals and a nice little slice of paradise where the woes of the world won’t find us, sounds nice right? Im fit and I work out, so that’s something we can do together if you’re interested! My mom tells me I’m handsome so that’s a plus right?
Ideally what I’m looking for? Friends first and foremost. If we vibe, I’d love to move off reddit to somewhere that I get consistent notifications. Let’s be long term chat partners. If the connection is there and we both agree, maybe we move forward from there? Let’s build a life together? How fun is that? I don’t really have any real dealbreakers. Location, age, body type, race, etc. As long as we get along and there’s a mutual attraction, I’m coolio. Height is definitely something I find attractive in a woman. I’m 5’8 so like, if you’re taller I’ll swooon. I’m also generally attracted to people much older but neither are dealbreakers by any means.
So if you read this far and like me even ever so slightly shoot me a chat or DM, I’m waiting to hear from yoooou! :)
2023.05.28 06:34 bimbo_wannabe_ [I Accidentally Joined The Mafia In South Brooklyn] Chapter 5: The Dead Are Especially Nosy Down Here
![[I Accidentally Joined The Mafia In South Brooklyn] Chapter 5: The Dead Are Especially Nosy Down Here](https://preview.redd.it/zkaxtarwkj2b1.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=8b33a651493fb05e79994bff658fc34e98166e4e "[I Accidentally Joined The Mafia In South Brooklyn] Chapter 5: The Dead Are Especially Nosy Down Here") | Previous Part: https://www.reddit.com/redditserials/comments/13sxdo9/i_accidentally_joined_the_mafia_in_south_brooklyn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button submitted by bimbo_wannabe_ to redditserials [link] [comments] These last few parts have taken a lot longer for me to write than I thought. A lot of shit has gone down in the last two months, and a lot of it, frankly, is kind of a blur. But I figure, if you've stuck with me this long, then you deserve to know how it all ended up so I'm going to try my best to remember every detail of what happened. Me? I've spent every free hour I've had, just lying in bed. I've got a lot of healed wounds that still hurt me pretty damned badly. Blood loss from multiple gunshot wounds and then drowning in the East River, dying and then being brought back while still human, incidentally, takes a lot out of a guy. But… I'm getting way ahead of myself. Where were we, again? Oh yeah, that's right. The funeral without caskets, inside of a Ukrainian restaurant just off the boardwalk in Brighton Beach. That's where I left off at. ()()() Antoni's corpse and I had spoken together for a while longer, about Beccs and their baby, actually, sitting there in the floor in front of the three empty bathroom stalls. The next moment, as usual, he was… just gone. It took a while to slow the bleeding, and it took even longer to try and clean myself up with just hand soap and paper towels and the water from the sink. Nobody came into the bathroom again, and as I left, I saw why. There was a sign on the door that read 'Out of Order' with something printed below it in Cyrillic that I imagined probably said the same thing as the English. My new winter coat had been left on the floor in front of the door and the Emergency Exit at the end of the hall had its alarm disabled and had been left propped open with a brick. I took that as a clear message that they didn't want me rejoining the party, so I exited into the alley and sat on a milk crate chain-smoking until 2 PM when the funeral ended. The weather app on my phone said it was 10 degrees outside, but oddly enough the cold air felt soothing on my bruised face. My eyes were nearly swollen shut, and every now and again I had to pull some of the toilet paper out that I'd stuffed in my pocket to wipe another trickle of blood from my nose when I sniffed a little too hard and moved the clots loose. At 1:57, I started to hear people exiting the restaurant, so I moved onto the sidewalk to wait for Becca. The people leaving the funeral only glanced at me for a second and then looked away with a bored expression, like I wasn't even there. Finally, only Becca and Toni's immediate family were still inside. Tatiana gave Becca a hug, Igor, a gentle handshake, and Antoni Sr. bent down, cupped his hands around Becca's face and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. I could see that his right hand was bandaged and he was holding it straighter than his left. Good. I hoped the fucker had broken it when he'd punched me in the jaw. As Becca exited, I could tell she was angry even before she stomped over to me and shoved me three times in quick succession. Like Jimmy, Becca was a lot stronger than she looked, but now I knew why. I couldn't do much but ball up and take the hits. "Where the fuck did you go? You just took off and left me there by myself. 'He wouldn't have left without saying goodbye if he had a choice.' You knew, you cocksucker, you knew, you knew he was dead!" "Yeah, I knew! Antoni was in the news. But we gotta get the fuck out of here, Beccs, you're making a scene, another one, and I gotta get outta this neighborhood before something worse happens to me." The high color of anger in her cheeks dropped away immediately into a pallid white. She'd been so pissed she'd never once registered the state of my face. "Jesus Christ, Tony, what the fuck happened to you?" "Your little Polish sausage's Daddy Dearest just beat the fuck out of me in the men's bathroom, that's what the fuck happened." "Why would he do that?" Becca asked, but I didn't answer. She looked back to Skovorodka, following my gaze. Antoni Sr. was still standing there, just inside the front door, watching me with narrowed eyes, his hands folded neatly behind his back like a soldier at ease. It reminded me a lot of how Antoni used to stand while we were waiting for the train together. "Fuck," she muttered, then "Shit," and grabbed me by the arm. "Come on." "Why would he do that?" She asked me again as we climbed the stairs to the train platform. "Antoni was Mob, Becca, Bratva. His whole goddamned family is. Him and his brothers and his father and his fucking Russian uncle, and I'd say your Mama Tatiana probably isn't in the dark about what her brother and her hubby and his sons do to make a living, either. I don't know why the Zabrowskas were on the Avenue, but suffice to say it was probably for nefarious reasons, and Jimmy found out about it and took care of business. "Only I don't think he realized exactly who he was taking out at the time he did it, or else he never would have put the body in the River for somebody to find. And then the other three showed up to avenge their brother, only two of 'em never made it past Bianchi any farther than Antoni did." "The fuck are you trying to say?" Her tone says she already understands just fine and doesn't want to. "I'm saying your dear sweet Mamma killed your boyfriend, Becca. She removed all the identifying marks from his body, ate what she wanted, then pulled all his teeth out and chewed off his hands and his feet. They dumped the body in the East River and they found him about 5 days ago, floating off of Battery Park." "Oh God. That's why. I asked Tatiana where Antoni was going to be buried and she told me in the public cemetery on Hart Island. They're not claiming the body because they don't wanna go to the cops. For the last week I been cussing him for everything he was worth, and he's been laying in the fucking morgue." She pressed her hand to her mouth, and I saw her bloodshot eyes filling with tears again. "Please don't cry, Becca, cause I'm gonna start crying again and I've cried enough for today." She sniffed back her tears and swallowed hard. "But I don't understand, Tony, what the fuck does that have to do with you?" "They knew, Beccs, they knew how the Zabrowskas died, who killed them, and they knew I helped Moretti get rid of the bodies afterwards. That's why Antoni's father went after me. The uh… the fucking Pakhan thought Jimmy sent me there to rub it in their faces that they weren't going to be able to bury any of their boys." "How the fuck would they know that?" She barked at me. "Somebody's feeding them information and not some asshole on the street, somebody from inside the Camorra." "Who would do that?" I saw her eyes darting about wildly as she tried to think of the answer to her own question. "I don't know, uh, the driver that brought Moretti, he didn't look like he was too fond of Bianchi, maybe he's a fucking option." "Frankie? I mean, him and Ma have never gotten along. He's never liked her and the feeling's mutual but… that doesn't make any sense, Frankie's always been loyal to the Camorra. Rossi always said he practically muttered the Omerta in his fucking sleep, that he was a soldato down to the bones." "I have no idea, Becca, but it gets worse," I said quietly. If it didn't hurt so goddamned bad, I would've squeezed my eyes shut. "How the fuck could it possibly get worse, Tony?" "First you gotta promise you're not gonna hit me again." Her hand balled into a fist, and I couldn't help but flinch. "I'm gonna knock you the fuck out right now if you don't stop wasting my time, Cipriani." "I sold her out, Becca. Bianchi. I told them where she lives and how to find her tonight." "You what!?" "I had to! He was gonna cut my fucking fingers off, and I don't know if he was going to take all four or just three but I wasn't about to fucking find out. I kind of need those fingers seeing as I'm a fucking southpaw!" I held my left hand out to her, curled my fingers inward, but the third finger just… stayed straight. "Ah, fuck, I didn't even notice that." "Jesus Christ, the tendon's been cut," she whispered, and when she pressed her hand to her mouth again she looked less like she was swallowing back tears and more like she was trying to swallow back vomit. I couldn't really blame her. I felt pretty nauseous myself. "You know, I'm, I'm not worried about Ma," she said, finally. "It wouldn't be the first time somebody's tried to take her out. She's harder to kill than they think." "Would, uh, would cutting her head off work? Cause if so I think they're already pretty aware of how to get the job done. They… they know Bianchi's not human, Becca." Her face got paler, if that was even possible, and her eyes were the size of saucers. "This is a goddamn nuclear disaster. Jesus fuck." We stood the last few minutes waiting for the train in silence. As the doors slid shut and we sat down, Becca began laughing wildly. "So you're in hysterics for real, huh?" I asked. "You're gonna have to forgive me, I'm a little slow on the uptake today, but I just got it, Polish sausage… only, he wasn't little, you know, he was hung like a fucking horse, and it's a goddamn tragedy for women everywhere that the man isn't on this earth anymore. And he knew how to use it, too. Best sex I ever had in my life… only sex I ever had in my life, but that's not the fucking point." A short, barking sob tore out of her. I groaned. "You know, that is way, way more information than I ever wanted to know about you and Antoni's sex life. You couldn't, uh, you couldn't let that one pass by, huh?" "I never pass up the opportunity to make a good dick joke. And he had Good Dick." I laughed and regretted it as it tightened muscles in my stomach that were still a little angry about being used as Antoni Sr's personal punching bag. "Touché, Miss Rebecca, touché." "The two-faced bastard, I gotta give the motherfucker that much, you know, it's a uniquely personal way to say Fuck You to the Underboss, getting his teenaged daughter pregnant. I am so, so goddamned tired of being a pawn in other people's games. He's lucky he's already dead or I'd kill the bitch myself," she whispered. "It wasn't a game, Becca, what happened between you and Antoni," I whispered back. I knew because Antoni's corpse had told me as much. "Don't ask me how I know, cause I don't wanna talk about it, but it wasn't a game. You didn't know about him and he didn't know about you and it was a big, fucked up coincidence. You loved him, and he really, truly loved you... he worshiped the ground you walked on." Actually, he had said he worshiped the boots she walked in, but I figured it was a translation issue. "It was a regular old Romeo and Juliet: Brooklyn Edition." She squeezed her eyes shut, snorted and at the same time choked on another sob. "Yeah, but Romeo and Juliet ended in a double suicide, not a murder and a single mother." Her tiny hand went to her mouth again, and she wasn't able to hold back the tears this time. "I miss him, Tony, I miss him so fucking much." "You know, Beccs, I miss him, too." I miss him when he was alive, not looking like a walking nightmare, and talking my goddamned ear off half the time, but I wasn't about to tell her that. "He was the first friend I made down here." "It's fucking stupid. I still remember every single thing he said to me those first few times I met him." "Odd as it is, I do too, Beccs. He was that kind of guy, I guess, he didn't have to work hard to make an impression on people. It was, uh, three days after I moved in, I think. I was in the basement, getting ready to do my laundry that morning, fighting with the stuck knob on that machine down at the end? And he walks in with his clothes basket balanced on his hip and reaches past me and just… turned the fucking thing, like it wasn't even stuck to begin with. 'It has an attitude, but it likes me,' he says, and I say, 'I can see that.' "And he, he told me his name. 'Zabrowska,' he says, 'Antoni.' And I laughed and said, 'Nice to meet you, Toni, I'm Tony.' 'Really?' he says, and I say 'Yeah. Really. Antonio Alessio Gioele Cipriani, the third, if you please.'" "Goddamn, that name is painfully Italian. No wonder you tell everybody 'Just call me Tony,'" Becca snorted. "Thank you, Miss Rebecca, I can assure you I didn't pick it myself. But, 'Ah,' Toni says and kind of taps his hand in the center of his chest, 'Junior.' And I laughed again and said 'Our parents were goddamned creative when it came to the baby naming, right?' And he laughed, too, and shook my hand. "And uh, a few days after that he showed up outside of my apartment and asked me if I wanted to go watch a game with him and his brothers at the sports bar down the street. It was Poland vs Korea. I still don't know shit about soccer, I've always been more of an American football kind of guy, but I did learn quite a few Polish swear words that day. Apparently they'd all bet money on the home team winning that game." "I bet you did. Poland kept catching red cards that whole game. I bet on Korea, of course, and altogether I won 8 grand from four extremely pissed off Polish dudes when we stomped their ass all over the pitch. I had no idea how seriously the four of them took soccer. Antoni wouldn't even talk to me for three days. Probably didn't help I made an ass of myself laughing at all of them. Course, I woulda bet more if I'd known they were good for it. Dry cleaners, my ass," Becca spat. "Well, in Antoni's defense, he probably did work at a dry cleaners like he told us, just like you work at a bodega, and Jimmy and me work at a restaurant, and Pops works at a hardware store. We all got day jobs. You know, I hate to bust your balls, Becca, but did it… never occur to you to ask Antoni if the tattoos meant something?" "No," she said weakly. "I mean, I knew they were prison tats but Jesus Christ, half the people I know have been to prison. You've been to prison, half of my cousins have been to prison, hell, Pops has been to prison. You weren't here then, but all of 2016 to 2020 I was wearing a 'Free Rossi' t-shirt everyday, a lot of people in this neighborhood did. Ma got him off on the Murder 1 charges but numbers are numbers, and she couldn't get him out of the Tax Evasion. But I figured, if Antoni didn't wanna talk about it, then it was none of my business what had happened before we met each other." She'd minded her own business a little too hard this time. "What did you and Antoni talk about, Becca?" "Everything! And anything, and nothing, all at the same time. He'd complain about living with his brothers, about Misiu always leaving hair all over the bathroom, and how Ciech always left sugar all over the kitchen counter after he made his coffee. And I'd complain about having to pick up all the empty bottles of makgeolli after my Dad in the morning. I'd help him wash all the dishes his dirty ass brothers would leave piled in the sink, and fold everybody's clothes. "We got along well, me and Antoni, we were actually very compatible, we were both neat freaks when it came to our housekeeping. We even folded our towels the same way. And he'd bitch about how Igor could never balance the register correctly at the end of the day, and I'd bitch about how my Dad never checked our invoices correctly, and I was always having to cuss out the distribution reps for shorting us on our deliveries myself. "And we'd watch TV together. He always made fun of me for the lame ass old Chuck Lorre sitcoms I loved to watch, and I'd make fun of him for all the stupid cop dramas he watched, every Law and Order known to man, and Blue Bloods and shit. We just… talked to each other, like we were two regular people, just living our lives. It was simple and it was easy, and it was enough, it was goddamned enough for me. Our relationship was the one normal thing I had going in my fucked up life." She cracked at the end, sobbing brokenly. She turned her head to the side, pressed her face into my bicep as she wrapped both arms around mine. Tears filled my eyes, as well, and now I was wiping snot out of my nose as well as blood. I felt goddamned sorry for the kid, and I felt like she had a right to cry, but I had to distract her, for my own sake. "So tell me, when was the first time you talked to Antoni? Was that the same day he asked you out?" "No, there was some time between the two. He'd been there about a week, I guess, after they moved in. They got there back in like April. I'd fucked with him the first day, you know, asked him where the hell the accent came from, and he said Poland, and I told him welcome to America cause I felt like being a dick. And he said that he'd already been in country five years and I laughed at him and told him, goddamn, I couldn't tell cause he still sounded like he was fresh off the boat. And he got this look on his face, like he was trying to decide if he needed to be offended or not, so I told him I was just fucking with him, that he was doing better than my Mom, God rest her, cause it was seven years after she got here from Seoul before she even learned a word of English and my Dad was the one that had to teach her." "Makes sense. I moved in in June, Toni mentioned he'd only been in the building about two months hisself." She nodded, I could feel the movement in the sleeve of my coat where her cheek was pressed to my arm. "Him and his brothers started coming in every day after that and you know, I kind of had my eye on him from the first time I talked to him. He was goddamn gorgeous, quite literally the walking definition of 'tall, dark, and handsome.' He had those incredibly blue eyes, and that fucking accent, man, shit put me in knots everytime he came in. I learned them all pretty quick, and Antoni was easy. He got the same thing everyday, box of Newport 100s and a pack of Russian Cream Backwoods with a large slushy. You know I gotta keep the cups behind the counter because motherfuckers'll fill it up and walk out when I get busy. I saw him when he came in, and went over to the ATM, so I had his shit sitting on the counter waiting for him." Becca had a talent for memorizing all of the regular's orders, it wasn't unusual to see a long line of cigarettes, blunts, medicine, sometimes even crack pipes and Chore Boys, and anything else she kept behind the counter, set up neatly next to the register. She also had a talent for running both registers at the same time when the line got overly long and she was there alone. Sometimes I had no idea how she kept up with it all, but that was just Becca. "And this drunk asshole came in, right after, he didn't even belong in the neighborhood, he stayed in Bed-Stuy, but he was with his cousin, and his cousin I knew and he was shooting me apologetic looks so I was already on guard. I was in a bad goddamn mood that day, anyway. And the drunk bitch, he walked over to the bathroom and tried to open it." "Key's behind the counter," I said, and she nodded. "And the key costs five dollars cause people make a fucking mess in the bathroom and I ain't cleaning that shit everyday for free. Well, drunk fuck got pissed and started talking a bunch of shit and threw his five dollars down on the counter, and you know, I can't stand that. You don't throw money at me, I ain't a goddamned stripper, you can put that shit in my hand or you can get the fuck out my store. And, I said 'Naw, son, for you it's gonna cost ten, five dollar Drunk Dick surcharge for being an asshole and cutting my line.' And the motherfucker… he called me a fucking stupid little bitch, and he told me people like me needed to be sent back to my own country." I made a sound of disapproval, already seeing where this was headed. "I hate that stupid shit. Where the fuck am I getting sent back to? The fucking hospital in Manhattan where I was born? Everybody in the store just kind of stopped and stood there, and dude's cousin? He just shook his head at me and walked right out the store and left him there." "He wasn't gonna get involved, huh?" I asked. "Fuck no. He wasn't stupid. I… uh, I was seeing red by that point so I balled up his money and I threw it across the store and told him to get the fuck out. I don't even remember half the shit I said to him, but I was yelling and he was yelling back and all of a sudden Antoni was… just there. I never even noticed him walking up. He was a big motherfucker, but goddamn he was quick and quiet when he wanted to be." Becca laced her fingers through the fingers of my right hand and I gave them a squeeze as she readjusted her head against my shoulder. I turned mine to press a kiss to her hair. She was short enough that I didn't have to worry about bumping my nose. As I turned back, I noticed that there was a puddle of water on the seat across from us, and a pit formed in my stomach immediately. My face felt cold as the blood drained from it. The puddle of water made me more than just a little nervous to see it. I had new enemies stacking up quick, and the last thing I needed was a pissed off, jealous ghost because his grieving fiancée was getting a little handsy with me. But… Antoni never showed himself, so I could only assume he approved of my offering her comfort in her time of need. Either that or he was waiting till I was alone to express his displeasure. "'Is there a problem here?' was all he asked and the drunk bitch turned around and he got even more pissed. He goes 'Man, fuck you, white boy. Mind your own goddamned business.' And Antoni kind of got in his face, and goes, 'I have made it my business. She told you to leave. Either remove yourself or I will remove you.' "And the liquor must've given him a bigger set of balls than he actually had, cause he took a swing at him. And Antoni, he just kind of… leaned back a little to avoid the swing and then leaned back in and… he knocked that bitch out cold with one punch. And then he picked him up, literally picked him up, and threw his ass out on the sidewalk, and kind of dusted his hands off afterwards." "Well, if he's anything like his father then he could throw a hell of a right cross." Becca laughed weakly. "Yeah, his Dad boxes, they all did, you know, from when they were young. Antoni told me he got in his Dad's face once when he was about 16, and Old Papa Zabrowska coldcocked him in the kitchen, and when he woke up on the couch, his Dad dragged him out back in the alley and beat him bloody. Told him if his little grown ass thought he was a man, then he was grown enough to get his ass stomped like a man." That made me feel a little better, to be honest. At least I wasn't the only one I knew who had caught an ass kicking from Antoni Sr. "I bet he didn't talk shit to his Pops again after that, huh?" "I asked him that exact question, he said 'Oh no, no, never again. I learned my lesson.' Toni and his brothers, though, were always getting in fights, even when I knew them. He told me it was hard on their Mama, back in Kraków, having four hormonal, teenaged boys with just shy of a year between each of them, you know cause… us fucking Roman Catholics ain't too fond of any method of contraception." "I didn't know you was Catholic, too, B." "Of course. Rossi is a devout Catholic, and that's how he raised me, and Nia, she's an Angel, you know, a Fallen One, that's what they call themselves, but she's even got real wings. A little more leathery and less feathery, but… same thing. She goes to Mass daily, turns out demons are actually very religious. Both of my parents were atheists, and that's how they raised me, but after some of the shit I've seen, you know, it ain't too unbelievable that there's a Big Guy upstairs." She sniffed again, wiped at her nose and I offered her a bit of toilet paper from my pocket. "That's how it all got started, the War in Heaven. God created Adam, the first living human body, and he told all the spirits in Heaven to kneel to him. And at least half of them weren't too fond of that idea, and the Morning Star stepped up as representative and said they wouldn't kneel to anyone but God. And they, uh, they lost the War, and He banished them all to Earth, to wander without bodies of their own while the other side got to come to Earth one at a time, to live their lives. "But… then there was the first murder, Abel. Cain beat him to death with a rock, and the blood on the ground, the first human blood ever shed in violence, it called to God, but He wasn't the only one it called to. The blood, it gave him a way inside of a body. Lucifer. He was the First One. He's still here, you know, I've met him. He has a particular fondness for Nia, he calls her Young One, cause according to him 1607 wasn't all that long ago." "I guess it isn't when you're that old." "But, back to what I was saying about Toni, all of them were packed into one place together like fucking sardines, the four boys sharing one bedroom in a two bedroom apartment, and all having vastly different personalities. Tatiana is little, like me, and I don't imagine she could do much to break them up when they got to fighting about everything from who ate all the leftovers to who got the top bunks on the beds." "Probably not," I answered. "I mean, I could practically smell the testosterone in their fucking apartment whenever I walked in, and it was probably even worse back then. And apparently, that had been their Dad's method of keeping them from tearing up his wife's house all the time. Whenever a problem inevitably developed, he'd just take them down to the gym and throw them in the ring without any gloves and tell them to fucking handle it, and whoever was still standing at the end was the one that won the argument. "Uh, but, uh, when Toni hit the guy, all, all I could do was stand there with my mouth hanging open like a fucking fish. I mean, I was in love, right that fucking second, standing there. The hormones were running on overdrive, my head was practically spinning with how fast all the blood rushed south, you know? Everybody was still standing there and Antoni tried to get back in line and I said, 'Uh-uh. Take your shit and go on.' And he goes," Beccs began laughing again, laughed so hard there were tears in her eyes once more. "He goes, 'Am I in trouble?''' I had to wrap my left arm tight around my stomach because I couldn't stop myself from laughing either. The makeshift bandage on my left hand that I'd wound out of paper towel had soaked through, I was going to have to change it soon. "He didn't say that, Becca." "Yes the fuck, he did. And I went, 'No, you dumbass, it's on the house, and in case I gotta translate, that means it's free. Small price to pay for a security detail.' And he just kind of blinked at me for a second, before he nodded his head and grabbed his things off the counter, went and filled his slushy up." "You probably scared the piss out of him for that second, he probably thought he'd been found out. That's what they call it, what he was, Obshchak, Security Group." "He stopped before he left, and told me thank you. And I said 'No, dziękuję', thank you. And then I winked at him and said 'Miłej nocy, piękna.'" She straightened up as the train began to slow for our stop. "And what did that mean?" "Have a good night, gorgeous." She said with a watery grin. "Smooth, B, real smooth. Nothing quite like hitting on a man in his native language. " "I mean, you know us, Tony, we got Southern Hospitality down here. As long as you're not an asshole, I do everything I can to make sure everyone feels welcome when they come inside. That's why there's a sign on the door that says 'DMZ.' They might have beef on the streets but don't nobody take that shit inside my store. And that means asking the Mexicans down the street if they need a bolsa, and making sure I ordered Farid's miswaks so he didn't have to walk all the way down to the Pakistani store, and sometimes it means learning a little bit of Polish so I could flirt with the new guy downstairs the next time he came in." We exited the train, made the switch, and stood on the platform waiting for the next to take us back to Avenue U. As I glanced to the side, I could see a puddle forming on the platform next to me, drip by drip. It was already freezing around the edges. As it turned out, I wasn't the only nosy fuck around here. "And apparently the flirting was well received by our dearly departed half-Russian friend." "Apparently, cause about a week later I was having a busy fucking Friday night and my Dad had already gone home, and I was trying to shut her down but motherfuckers kept coming inside right up until 11. I made DeAndre from downstairs stand at the door and tell people we were closed and that he was the last customer for the night and after I rung him up I told him to flip the sign on the door and I'd lock it when I finished my cigarette count… only, I forgot to ever lock it, and DeDe's traitorous ass, he fucking set me up. He knew I had a thing for Antoni, and when he saw him coming down off the platform and rushing down the sidewalk, he let him in and told him he was the last customer for the night and to flip the sign on the door." She closed her eyes for a moment. "It took me… exactly 16 minutes to notice he was there. I know, cause after I was done pissing myself when I figured out I wasn't alone, the Polish smart-ass showed me his watch. He'd set a timer when he realized I wasn't paying any attention to him, and then just stood there, waiting to see how long it would take. I had my earphones in, and it took four songs," she held up her hand and ticked them off with her fingers. "'Savage Like', 'Money, Sex, Drugs', 'Proud' and 'Only.' "I turned around and screamed like a little bitch when I saw him. And then I got pissed, cause I was embarrassed, I'd been singing along to all the songs cause I thought I was alone in the store. I started screaming at him. 'What the fuck, you can't read? The sign says Closed.' And he goes 'No, it didn't. It still said Open. I turned it myself.' I hadn't counted down my register yet, so I just went ahead and grabbed his shit and rung him up, cussing DeDe the whole time and I asked him how long he'd been standing there, and he showed me his watch. And he says, 'You shouldn't wear those, it's dangerous,' talking about my headphones, and I said, 'What are you, my fucking father?' And he got kind of a funny look on his face." I released a weak snicker, holding my stomach tight again. I couldn't resist fucking with them both a little bit. "He kinda had a point, Becca. Although, I can tell you he was probably less concerned about being your father and more concerned about becoming your Daddy." "Oh, so now you got the dirty jokes," Becca said flatly. "What can I say, B, you're a bad influence on me." "Eh," she said after a moment, "You wouldn't be the first. You know, months later he told me that he'd stood there that long because he didn't think he'd have the nerve to ask what he wanted to ask the next time if he left, which, you know, what the fuck? What am I, scary?" I couldn't help but laugh again. "Yes, Becca, you are, you're fucking terrifying half the time. You might be a short fuck but dynamite comes in small packages, you know? He was probably afraid you'd tell him to suck your dick and ban him from the store for a month like every other poor motherfucker I've seen ask you out, and he probably didn't want to go through your particular brand of ridicule in front of an audience, on top of that, with all the other customers laughing him out of the store." "It ain't my fault I'm this size," she said after a moment, shooting me a perturbed look. "No shit, Sherlock. It's genetics." "It ain't even that. It's the blood. I mean, my parents were both tall, you know, for Koreans, anyway, my Mom was 5'6. I probably would've been too if I'd had the chance, but, you know, the blood it… stops things. Why do you think Jimmy looks the way he does? I mean, Pops believes in 'aging gracefully,' as he says, but old Giacomino is a vain fuck, and he's got more of a taste for 'the Stuff' than Rocco ever had. He turned 65 this year, he's only two years younger than Pops, he was already 34 years old when he met Nia for the first time. He tells people he's got a good plastic surgeon, when they ask. And the same thing happened to me. My body wanted to stay 8 years old, forever. "Rossi had to get hormones, fucking estrogen and progesterone and HGH, off the black market to force my body to start puberty and to fucking grow. It's not like we could go to a doctor and explain why I needed the prescription. I mean, these tits aren't even mine. Ma bought 'em for my sixteenth birthday so I wouldn't feel so goddamned self-conscious. Nia's not exactly flat-chested, as you know, neither was my Mom, and it kind of gave me a fucking complex when I was growing up." "I mean, is she? I haven't really noticed," I replied, evasively. "Yes, you have, you lying fuck. There isn't a straight or bisexual man, or a lesbian or bisexual woman for that matter, that comes within fifty feet of Appolonia Bianchi that doesn't notice all of her unnatural charms. It made for some interesting 'family' trips during the summer when we'd leave the city, lemme tell you. I asked Pops once, you know, if he ever got jealous when she'd show up with some random dick she'd run across, cause I used to think it was pretty shitty of her. "I said she could've at least kept things on the downlow and not throw it in Rocco's face every few days. But he told me no, he loved her, he understood her nature very well and he'd accepted what she was years before I was even born, and that she loved him too, and more importantly, respected him. She always introduced the men to him because that was what he'd asked of her. That it was the one aspect of control he had in the situation, giving his 'permission' for her little liaisons. That it made him feel better to let them know they might be getting a piece, but she'd be ending every night lying in his bed, regardless of what they did." I nodded. "I guess I can kind of see his point." "But, the blood, that's how I ended up pregnant. I mean, I'm not a dumbass, I know how babies are made, but I wasn't worried about using condoms with Antoni, neither of us wanted to. I told him if he gave me anything I'd cut his dick off, and he knew I was serious, too, and he considered it a proportional response. I didn't even think I could get pregnant. "I stopped the birth control when I was 16 because it was making me gain weight and my cheer coach bitched me out in front of fucking everybody, and Rossi's guy said I needed to keep taking it to keep my hormone levels even. So I told Antoni I didnt want to get into my medical history, but suffice to say I was probably fucking sterile anyway, so he didn't have to worry about it, and he told me he wasn't worried about it at all. But apparently my fucking parts work better than I thought." "Or maybe he had some damned determined swimmers, who knows." "I don't know why I was even concerned about not using condoms anyway. Technically we were all excommunicated as of 2014. Pope said the mafiosi lifestyle isn't compatible with the Catholic one. You know, I wonder how Antoni would feel about all this, I wonder if he'd be pissed, think I lied to him about not being able to get pregnant." "You're just gonna have to take my word for it, B, but he's not angry in the least, he's pretty fucking proud of hisself." I'd say his chest was stuck out but he didn't have much of a chest left these days, so I just kept that part to myself. "Pretty sure he said he wasn't worried about it because he was hoping you were wrong about being sterile." Beccs gave me a strange look but the train arrived at just that moment. The people exiting did quite a bit of staring, unlike the people leaving the funeral, but I just tucked my arm around Becca and shouldered my way past them and found us a seat. The drops of water followed us into the train. "What's with the present tense, Tony? Is that some kind of cliche 'he's lookin' down on you' bullshit?" I snorted and wiped the bubble of blood from my nose, staring at the puddle of water that was starting to form in the seat next to us. I could feel the cold emanating from Antoni all along my left side. Oddly enough, it was easing the intense ache in my nearly severed ring finger. "He ain't looking down on us, B, I can tell you that much." "So it's a Hell joke?" "No, not really. But then again, I'm pretty sure we're all in Hell right this second, Miss Rebecca, so yes, yes it is." |
2023.05.28 06:25 ___Kuroneko___ Attempted the Warburton to Dom Dom Saddle Hike, Went Spectacularly wrong
TLDR at Bottom
Woke up at 5, had a huge breakfast, downed a can of Monster, and after an hour's drive I was there, final equipment check and begun the climb from the bottom of Martyr Road at ~8:20AM
Had a pack weight of about ~20kg (I usually hike with this weight so it didn't bother me much)
Everything was jolly for the first stretch, reached the top of Donna Buang in about 4hrs.
After taking a break at top, I went on past towards Dom Dom Saddle, here where things started getting worse. It was around 1PM when I got started, but clouds were starting to gather, incredibly thick shrubbery on almost 2/3 of the 4.5kms I covered past Donna Summit, slowing down my pace considerably.
Walked for about 1.5hrs, only covered 4.5kms, (usually I'd cover about 6-8kms in 1.5hrs) At 2PM, clouds had thickened, and the sky's dimmed, it was at this point I realised rain was coming, so I set up a Hutchie and settled down as the first wave of Hail hit, followed by continuous rain.
I laid in my sleeping bag, no signal on my phone, for about 30 minutes, when the winds blowing through the gap under the Hutchie, started to chill me. At this point I had a realization, my sleeping bag let wind way too easily, and that if I was getting cold at 3PM, I'd freeze to death at night. Combined with the fact that the rain had not stopped for an entire hour and clouds showed no signs of clearing up, I had to get out of there, this mission was a complete bust, I was ill prepared.
At this point, I've not had much to eat as I was saving the majority of my food for nighttime since I usually try to cover as much during the day as I can, so I was actively hungry, I've eaten an apple, 1 UpnGo Protein, and maybe 2 handful of cashews since breakfast.
So I put on all my waterproof gear in my Hutchie, packed everything I can, and charged out to I pack the rest in the rain and I was off retracting back towards the Summit of Donna and then back down to my car.
It took me 1hour to return to Donna, it rained the entire way and despite waterproof clothing, pushing through wet bushes had gotten water to seep in there was nothing I can do to stop it, at this point I was perhaps 50% wet inside, and the day was getting darker and darker, the rain showed no sign of stopping, and I was starting to get very hungry and my legs were also starting to get sore.
It took me about 1.5 hours to get from Summit down to this road and gate before the main trail descending, it was completely dark at this point and the rain still kept coming, I was 100% wet, everywhere, enough rain and seeped in. I had my head torch, and it barely helped, as the rain in front of me cut the visibility of the ground lit up ahead.
Reaching that gate before the trail, I sat there resting, cold, starving, tired, wet for 20 minutes munching down on some jerky. Anyone who has been there knows there's an emergency sign with numbers on it, it was like YRN520 or something, and i was in such terrible shape I seriously considered calling 000 while I sat there. But the rain had marginally slowed down, and after eating some food I had my spirits back up and I begun the final descent back down.
It was a steep hill to begin with, coupled with the almost 3 hours of rain there was essentially a flowing mud river on the entire track, and several times I had slipped and fell but I couldn't care less Cos I was wet all over anyways.
This descent in Dry weather usually takes me just under 2 hours, tis time took me more then 2.5hrs.
I got back into my car around 8:20, and I've never looked forward to going home so much from an outdoors trip on my life.
Also, after driving for about 15 minutes, I had to pull over cos I felt super light headed and sleepy, I'd forgotten to eat anything and just up and left.
My legs were sore for 2 days after, and I did something to my left leg it was Hard to raise it at all for almost 3 days.
TLDR - Fucked up big time, the path was awfully bushy, poor preparation for wind and cold meant I could not stay over night. Awful retreat back up Donna and back down in almost 5hrs of continuous rain, poor visibility, slippery mud, when I was starving, cold and fatigued, almost called 000 cos of how dire the situation was. Thankfully a 20min break and soome jerky and rain slowing down gave me much needed hope to get out.
submitted by ___Kuroneko___ to OutdoorAus [link] [comments]
Woke up at 5, had a huge breakfast, downed a can of Monster, and after an hour's drive I was there, final equipment check and begun the climb from the bottom of Martyr Road at ~8:20AM
Had a pack weight of about ~20kg (I usually hike with this weight so it didn't bother me much)
Everything was jolly for the first stretch, reached the top of Donna Buang in about 4hrs.
After taking a break at top, I went on past towards Dom Dom Saddle, here where things started getting worse. It was around 1PM when I got started, but clouds were starting to gather, incredibly thick shrubbery on almost 2/3 of the 4.5kms I covered past Donna Summit, slowing down my pace considerably.
Walked for about 1.5hrs, only covered 4.5kms, (usually I'd cover about 6-8kms in 1.5hrs) At 2PM, clouds had thickened, and the sky's dimmed, it was at this point I realised rain was coming, so I set up a Hutchie and settled down as the first wave of Hail hit, followed by continuous rain.
I laid in my sleeping bag, no signal on my phone, for about 30 minutes, when the winds blowing through the gap under the Hutchie, started to chill me. At this point I had a realization, my sleeping bag let wind way too easily, and that if I was getting cold at 3PM, I'd freeze to death at night. Combined with the fact that the rain had not stopped for an entire hour and clouds showed no signs of clearing up, I had to get out of there, this mission was a complete bust, I was ill prepared.
At this point, I've not had much to eat as I was saving the majority of my food for nighttime since I usually try to cover as much during the day as I can, so I was actively hungry, I've eaten an apple, 1 UpnGo Protein, and maybe 2 handful of cashews since breakfast.
So I put on all my waterproof gear in my Hutchie, packed everything I can, and charged out to I pack the rest in the rain and I was off retracting back towards the Summit of Donna and then back down to my car.
It took me 1hour to return to Donna, it rained the entire way and despite waterproof clothing, pushing through wet bushes had gotten water to seep in there was nothing I can do to stop it, at this point I was perhaps 50% wet inside, and the day was getting darker and darker, the rain showed no sign of stopping, and I was starting to get very hungry and my legs were also starting to get sore.
It took me about 1.5 hours to get from Summit down to this road and gate before the main trail descending, it was completely dark at this point and the rain still kept coming, I was 100% wet, everywhere, enough rain and seeped in. I had my head torch, and it barely helped, as the rain in front of me cut the visibility of the ground lit up ahead.
Reaching that gate before the trail, I sat there resting, cold, starving, tired, wet for 20 minutes munching down on some jerky. Anyone who has been there knows there's an emergency sign with numbers on it, it was like YRN520 or something, and i was in such terrible shape I seriously considered calling 000 while I sat there. But the rain had marginally slowed down, and after eating some food I had my spirits back up and I begun the final descent back down.
It was a steep hill to begin with, coupled with the almost 3 hours of rain there was essentially a flowing mud river on the entire track, and several times I had slipped and fell but I couldn't care less Cos I was wet all over anyways.
This descent in Dry weather usually takes me just under 2 hours, tis time took me more then 2.5hrs.
I got back into my car around 8:20, and I've never looked forward to going home so much from an outdoors trip on my life.
Also, after driving for about 15 minutes, I had to pull over cos I felt super light headed and sleepy, I'd forgotten to eat anything and just up and left.
My legs were sore for 2 days after, and I did something to my left leg it was Hard to raise it at all for almost 3 days.
TLDR - Fucked up big time, the path was awfully bushy, poor preparation for wind and cold meant I could not stay over night. Awful retreat back up Donna and back down in almost 5hrs of continuous rain, poor visibility, slippery mud, when I was starving, cold and fatigued, almost called 000 cos of how dire the situation was. Thankfully a 20min break and soome jerky and rain slowing down gave me much needed hope to get out.
2023.05.28 06:17 Asterisk_King Racial flight IS overpowered, and all of these counterarguments are wrong:
Whenever someone complains about flying you get a number of counterpoints that sort of ignore the bigger picture, and it's hard to force myself to take into account all the details in one go. So here they are as I see them, many of the counterpoints against flying being overpowered and why I disagree with them.
You may find that not all of them are true in your mind, but disproving one or two of these is not enough proof do do away with the issue.
📒Knocked prone = falling to death
Yikes. People treat this like some sort of Mike drop moment This makes combat extremely swingy. So we go from flying being overpowered to nearly instant death. This almost feels like it's a massive punishment to flying so in all honesty most would not suggest using this type of thing too frequetly at the risk of being accused of specifically targeting that character (you will be). Players might even say that they are fine with it ahead of time. But they rarely hold to that when the time comes.
Additionally, the ways you can limit someone's speed are often specific and limited. It's not like these abilities never appear, but if all the sudden they do then that's going to be a giveaway
That is unless you use it sparingly. But if you do... It will barely be useful anyway.
However, this also assumes that the character in question is both in range and has weak enough saves that can be targeted. Things like nets and bolas in my experience both never see play and are weak... When someone is even in range. 20/60 range for a bola? You're going to be attacking for disadvantage for sure. Might as well shoot a bow. And the save is only 10 strength? Assuming a character with +0 strength modifier and saves, and assuming you are shooting at disadvantage (bolas) you can at max expect to hit half the time and the save with only fail half the time. That's 1/4 chance to actually do anything if you can line up a shot. Just shoot some arrows at the guy.
What about walloping arrows? Firstly, I didn't know those existed until some tried to argue about using them on flying characters. Seeing as I've never seen these used before, I would 100% accuse you of targeting me if you whipped this out on me as a player. Never seen it before and will probably never see it again. It's like it's tailor made for flying characters... Still a DC 10. Maybe you'll get knocked, eventually.
If I'm not mistaken fall damage is 1d6 per 10 feet. If that's the case then a character flying at at level of 15ft above ground isn't in that much danger. That means if they did fall they'd be taking 1d6 fall damage and if you REALLY have to be petty about it then that would be 2d6 at max. The average damage there being 7 damage. Now if you are in the business of cheesing flying characters, they will learn real quick that this is the sweet spot of where to be to avoid any real damage punishment.
You might say that this is really risky at low levels and I would say DUHH. You could die at level one to being spit on by a llama my guy. However, this will be only after your speed reaches zero or after you are knocked prone. If the net result of that is 7 damage the you might as well just shoot at them or throw a rock or something.
Additionally, as you move up the levels this amount of damage is negligible
Lastly, this only solves a part of the problem. It can only really be applied to combat. Anything else and it generally doesn't work
📒Use ranged weapons Oh nah! It's not that simple.
Firstly let's recognize that as of last year only about a third of the monsters in the monster manual and the additional books have ranged options. And for most of them that do, the ranged options are weaker.
Now I know what you're saying: but the DM should snap his magic God of creation fingers to give almost every monster and enemy a longbow, and that the terrasque should magically have access to infinite massive boulders to throw with the exact same pdr as his whopping five melee attacks.
This effects everyone, not just the flying character. The reason so few monsters have decent ranged options is to make them come close and pose a threat personally. To solve this problem, a lot of enemies would need their ranged options added or buffed and they would have to be strong enough to he worth it -- otherwise it's mathematically easier to just jump the characters allies.
Even worse is if we actually give the enemies these buffs. Now all the sudden melee Martial builds are even more garbage than they already are. If ranged attacks have no mathematical opportunity cost to use, there is no reason for enemies to risk hp and such to come into close range.
Do you know who doesn't need melee viability? Casters. BOOM! You've literally made caster comparatively more powerful. most spells are ranged anyway, and some of those ranges are huge even without spell sniper. They probably don't care that much.
The worst issue here is that we now expect the DM to do EVEN MORE work than he already has. This will be one of many excuses to add to the workload of the DM. it certainly won't be the last in this campaign. The goal of running the game isn't just to make a good experience. It's also about doing that without breaking your back needlessly. DMs don't always need to be coached on the million and one ways they can solve a problem. The just need less problems.
📒 weather
Yes. This is an incredible solution that makes sense and isn't hard implemented. I actually love this one except for two issues. Firstly, it's extremely circumstantial. It can't be bad weather all the time, unless you set it up in a really believable way. Additionally, it doesn't work indoors or in caves unless you to some real bending over backwards. For what it's worth though it's a good and easy solution when it applies... Unless you make it subject to an easy save.
📒 Don't ignore strength
This actually helps the issue, however it's not a magic cure all. It also reopens the dialogue on why people ignore strength to begin with. Probably because it... Makes the game more complicated. Still though I think it helps to prevent the flyer from using strength based abilities or carrying things. If he isn't doing much of that, or if he's a caster or has a back like or caravan it largely doesn't matter.
Whole we're on the subject, pray the flying character isn't a caster. Even if you think neither is overpowered, putting two nearly overpowered qualities together won't end in something balanced.
📒But horses are equally useful.
You kiss you mother with that lying mouth? majority of players don't even use horses for obvious reasons. Barely any hp, can't attack on the same turn. Goodness forbid the horse has to make any form of save. Any combat involving a horse of non boss monster variety results in the horse being the first to go down. really easy way to depower an enemy. Where as flying characters can fly until zero hp, a player with a horse only has it until it dies. And that bad boy doesn't respawn like in a video game. And please don't pretend that land travel at high speeds is equally as useful as flying. It is obviously terrain dependant, where a flying person can avoid ground bound obstacles, horsey boy has to go around them, spending however much movement is required. Ground bound traps effect a horse as well. How well can your horse climb? A flying character has perfect climbing skills... Because they are immune to having to do it! Can your horsey boi swim across a surface of water to get to the other side? Probably not better than my wings that can fly across.
📒 Familiars are equally useful
Firstly it's not the same. Maybe nerf those too? Classic example of something many DMs find tedious to work around. Not absolute in it's power, but it is incredibly annoying on a great deal of fronts. Naming some other thing that gets under peoples skin doesn't make them both less problematic. Moreover, flying is still easily worse.
📒 It only solves problems for one character
What ever the hell that means. People behave as if this wasn't immediately apparent. As if other players not having it magically negates it's usefulness? If only one player is playing a class that this overpowered, does that magically discredit it's lack of balance. Why is this argument exclusively used for flying?
Moreover, players not being able to be hit by some things will just put more pressure on those who can.
This also brings up an entirely separate problem that compounds with it. Some players agency is actually too high. That sounds crazy I no know, but many players -- specifically casters -- have so much utility, damage potential, social interaction spells and whatever else, that they can basically just run off on their own and do whatever unchecked. I've seen plenty of occurances of caster players just ditching the rest of the party to do solo mumbo jumbo, solving every problem they come across by snapping their fingers to cast a spell. Fly makes this worse because that's a whole level three spell for free, and increases their incentive to do so because it's costless and doesn't need concentration. Even on a Martial build it further incentives people to go off on their own -- especially if the other players can't follow anyway. People think that the flying player is just going to stand around like an NPC or only go somewhere if the others can follow, when in reality they will fully utilize that moment to become a main character.
📒Narrow spaces People use these arguments all the time, and in theory they make sense. However there aren't mechanics for this. There is no listed wingspan in any flying race. That's a recipe for debate. Because if a player who really, really wants to fly(aka every character that has flight) sees you making these excuses that don't exist in the game then their patience for that will be very very limited.
📒Low ac, can't wear good armor
This has always been funny as an argument. Like heavy armor is just the bestest thing to have graced the table. But it's simply not. Not the best but remember in most cases you will literally be immune to melee, which gives you an incredible EFFECTIVE increase to ac if you stop to think about it. If you are a caster then this is worse. My guy the idea of casters being squishy has always been a lie anyway. Some of them already get decent armor options independent of heavy armor. Casters also get mage armor and shield, and misty step. Their effective ac is great if they are slightly prepared. Add ranged attacks to both of these and you are in a stupendous spot.
📒 All combat takes place indoors or underground.
This is actually categorically untrue. In my personal experience this is actually the opposite. However this is something that ultimately varies tremendously and is therefore not a valid solution. Sometimes it will be that way and sometimes it won't. Moreover, it's not as off all indoors encounter happen just below ceiling level. If the ceiling is 15 feet up fliers can reliably just effectively hang out on the ceiling. And if not, just staying above the space directly behind an ally solves this issue. If the ceiling is lower than 10 feet then this may actually be countered, but it's not a given that it will be.
Not ever indoor or cave dungeon is narrow and cramped. In my experience there have been plenty of open and sprawling spots because worrying about positioning is a massive headache.
I would also like to take this moment to remind everyone that combat is not necessarily the main issue with flying.
📒Casters counter them 1. Casters counter everyone, assuming they have the proper spells. 2. Casting technically isn't that common. 3. Okay, so now nearly all of my encounters must have casters? Often many encounters are centered around circumstance that causes the creatures and their conditions to vary wildly. Now I have to ignore all that just to challenge this one player?
📒 Don't challenge them. Just let them be overpowered.
This has always been silly. Even in a game where players basically demand to be overpowered, this isn't always as universally good as it sounds. I can prove it too... Because all forms of game balance in dnd and otherwise assume this isn't the case. So why are we changing our minds now. Seriously, a game almost entirely designed around combat and exploration, and both of those things are held up by bubblegum and boxtape? Not memorable. Might be fun cheesing the first dozen encounters or puzzles but eventually there will not be anything gained from it. Moreover, not every player even wants that! It might just be one out of four or six.
Moreover I feel like catering to this idea too much is deceptively toxic. Wanting to be powerful is not the same thing as not having a challenge. If a player wants to be strong with zero challenge then that player is low-key being sort is spineless. Play another game, or accept that you might have to think about your actions and your strategies to at least some extent. I run the type of game that if you at least have two braincells and use them you will probably be fine. Only players that have failed at my table or the ones that want excessive handouts. And it's arguments like these that sort of out people for not really wanting to underact with the came. Just circumnavigate it.
📒 This is only a problem at low levels
Also a lie. People say that because wizards get to use the fly spell at level 5 then that means natural flight is only overpowered until they get to do it. Except that's not really how it works.
Casters get the fly SPELL. It takes one level three spell slot minimum, same as fireball. Flying races don't spend any spell slots. Their fuel economy is unrivaled.
Casters get it for ten minutes. Flying races get it literally forever. Their endurance is unparalleled.
Casters have to use their concentration on the spell, and if they get hit they risk losing it just from taking damage. Flying races use no additional action economy, and don't risk falling just from taking damage. They are da biggest bird.
But let's be frank. What is overpowered is not determined based purely on itself. Often times, a specific combination of abilities is what makes it overpowered.
As you know, casters are extremely powerful. Some of them also don't use medium or heavy armor anyway. So there is already synergy here. Most casters have an overwhelming abundance or ranged moves to use. Sounds like it would be useful for something that rarely has adjacent enemies.
Now, nevermind the fact that flying as a racial trait is stronger that having it as a 3rd level spell. But! What if the already unnecessarily powerful wizards chooses the be a flying race? That would mean that they have an infinite 3rd level spell, resoursless, and they can use it to solves problems and avoid damage (both things that their spell list is designed to do) WITHOUT USING SPELL SLOTS OR CONCENTRATION. That's right, that means they can cast another concentration spell, effectively casting two concentration spells at once. There will never be an opportunity cost or major risk to casting fly again.
Wizards normally don't during battle because it costs a 3rd level slot and getting hit might mean you lose it anyway. These are now no longer issues, on top of casting a whole nother spell of concentration if need be.
Now, the overpowered option is even more overpowered.
📒 "Well, I have flying in my party and it's not overpowered because [DM put in significant extra effort adding in a bunch of stuff to stop if from being a solution to every problem]"
This is pretty much an admission that it's overpowered. If I have to warp the entirety of encounter design, level design, and puzzles to account for flying, it's classically overpowered. This is what we call a centralizing force. Generally speaking, features or abilities in a game that overly centralize the meta around stopping them are explicitly overpowered. This is actually the perfect example of a centralizing force in DND. You don't have to be omnipotent to be overpowered. Just excessively more overpowered than you need to be. Having counters is not disproof of being overpowered.
Additionally, anything that drastically expands my work load is overpowered. Deal with it, because I sure won't.
📒We play for fun at my table
You play for DM headaches more like it. We can have fun without breaking the DMs back. Stop advocating for the players so much that you disrespect the DM position
📒Yeah? Well I'm a DM and I have no issues with doing the work. Other DMs are just laszy!
You are an exception. Just because we can do the work doesn't mean we think it's worth it. I am absolutely meticulous enough to run this game. But largely I just don't think it's worth it. And most don't either. That's why there are so few DMs. Because people wag their fingers at the DMs that are reluctant to break their back over everything little ability or spell that the game would be perfectly fine without, the game as a whole suffers.
A few more things to remember:
📘 Your dm is probably in denial if he says this isn't an issue
This happens all the time in my experience. A session could actively be going up in flames and the DM or the player producing the issue will be shrugging their shoulders pretending nothing went wrong. I've seen games reached a screeching halt and be discontinued because of how difficult the players or their abilities were to handle, only to have the DM refuse to acknowledge that, or deny that there mishandling had any effect in the situation. Then I watch them make a new campaign and do it again.
📘Your dm is probably bending over backwards solving the problem. So if you don't encounter this problem, then this is why.
📘 People refuse to consider the amount of additional work for the DM. Even DMs have been conditioned the think this way. This is stupid, and the primary reason we have a DM shortage as it is now.
📘The worst issue here is that this ability seems to interrupt some specific DM styles more than others. This leads to DMs that aren't specifically having their styles countered will not take the issue as seriously. Just like how a DM who wants an adventure designed around a special plague will he annoyed when the paladin starts slapping key characters with lay on hands instead of going to find the plot hook mcguffin or negotiating for a cure.
TLDR: Flying is busted, and the DMs well-being is objectively more valuable than this measly ability. Remove one to maintain the other.
Edit: I love how people say "just ban it and be done with it" like people haven't been cooked and chastised for doing that for years on this sub. Like if you're out of arguments then say so LMAO.
submitted by Asterisk_King to dndnext [link] [comments]
You may find that not all of them are true in your mind, but disproving one or two of these is not enough proof do do away with the issue.
📒Knocked prone = falling to death
Yikes. People treat this like some sort of Mike drop moment This makes combat extremely swingy. So we go from flying being overpowered to nearly instant death. This almost feels like it's a massive punishment to flying so in all honesty most would not suggest using this type of thing too frequetly at the risk of being accused of specifically targeting that character (you will be). Players might even say that they are fine with it ahead of time. But they rarely hold to that when the time comes.
Additionally, the ways you can limit someone's speed are often specific and limited. It's not like these abilities never appear, but if all the sudden they do then that's going to be a giveaway
That is unless you use it sparingly. But if you do... It will barely be useful anyway.
However, this also assumes that the character in question is both in range and has weak enough saves that can be targeted. Things like nets and bolas in my experience both never see play and are weak... When someone is even in range. 20/60 range for a bola? You're going to be attacking for disadvantage for sure. Might as well shoot a bow. And the save is only 10 strength? Assuming a character with +0 strength modifier and saves, and assuming you are shooting at disadvantage (bolas) you can at max expect to hit half the time and the save with only fail half the time. That's 1/4 chance to actually do anything if you can line up a shot. Just shoot some arrows at the guy.
What about walloping arrows? Firstly, I didn't know those existed until some tried to argue about using them on flying characters. Seeing as I've never seen these used before, I would 100% accuse you of targeting me if you whipped this out on me as a player. Never seen it before and will probably never see it again. It's like it's tailor made for flying characters... Still a DC 10. Maybe you'll get knocked, eventually.
If I'm not mistaken fall damage is 1d6 per 10 feet. If that's the case then a character flying at at level of 15ft above ground isn't in that much danger. That means if they did fall they'd be taking 1d6 fall damage and if you REALLY have to be petty about it then that would be 2d6 at max. The average damage there being 7 damage. Now if you are in the business of cheesing flying characters, they will learn real quick that this is the sweet spot of where to be to avoid any real damage punishment.
You might say that this is really risky at low levels and I would say DUHH. You could die at level one to being spit on by a llama my guy. However, this will be only after your speed reaches zero or after you are knocked prone. If the net result of that is 7 damage the you might as well just shoot at them or throw a rock or something.
Additionally, as you move up the levels this amount of damage is negligible
Lastly, this only solves a part of the problem. It can only really be applied to combat. Anything else and it generally doesn't work
📒Use ranged weapons Oh nah! It's not that simple.
Firstly let's recognize that as of last year only about a third of the monsters in the monster manual and the additional books have ranged options. And for most of them that do, the ranged options are weaker.
Now I know what you're saying: but the DM should snap his magic God of creation fingers to give almost every monster and enemy a longbow, and that the terrasque should magically have access to infinite massive boulders to throw with the exact same pdr as his whopping five melee attacks.
This effects everyone, not just the flying character. The reason so few monsters have decent ranged options is to make them come close and pose a threat personally. To solve this problem, a lot of enemies would need their ranged options added or buffed and they would have to be strong enough to he worth it -- otherwise it's mathematically easier to just jump the characters allies.
Even worse is if we actually give the enemies these buffs. Now all the sudden melee Martial builds are even more garbage than they already are. If ranged attacks have no mathematical opportunity cost to use, there is no reason for enemies to risk hp and such to come into close range.
Do you know who doesn't need melee viability? Casters. BOOM! You've literally made caster comparatively more powerful. most spells are ranged anyway, and some of those ranges are huge even without spell sniper. They probably don't care that much.
The worst issue here is that we now expect the DM to do EVEN MORE work than he already has. This will be one of many excuses to add to the workload of the DM. it certainly won't be the last in this campaign. The goal of running the game isn't just to make a good experience. It's also about doing that without breaking your back needlessly. DMs don't always need to be coached on the million and one ways they can solve a problem. The just need less problems.
📒 weather
Yes. This is an incredible solution that makes sense and isn't hard implemented. I actually love this one except for two issues. Firstly, it's extremely circumstantial. It can't be bad weather all the time, unless you set it up in a really believable way. Additionally, it doesn't work indoors or in caves unless you to some real bending over backwards. For what it's worth though it's a good and easy solution when it applies... Unless you make it subject to an easy save.
📒 Don't ignore strength
This actually helps the issue, however it's not a magic cure all. It also reopens the dialogue on why people ignore strength to begin with. Probably because it... Makes the game more complicated. Still though I think it helps to prevent the flyer from using strength based abilities or carrying things. If he isn't doing much of that, or if he's a caster or has a back like or caravan it largely doesn't matter.
Whole we're on the subject, pray the flying character isn't a caster. Even if you think neither is overpowered, putting two nearly overpowered qualities together won't end in something balanced.
📒But horses are equally useful.
You kiss you mother with that lying mouth? majority of players don't even use horses for obvious reasons. Barely any hp, can't attack on the same turn. Goodness forbid the horse has to make any form of save. Any combat involving a horse of non boss monster variety results in the horse being the first to go down. really easy way to depower an enemy. Where as flying characters can fly until zero hp, a player with a horse only has it until it dies. And that bad boy doesn't respawn like in a video game. And please don't pretend that land travel at high speeds is equally as useful as flying. It is obviously terrain dependant, where a flying person can avoid ground bound obstacles, horsey boy has to go around them, spending however much movement is required. Ground bound traps effect a horse as well. How well can your horse climb? A flying character has perfect climbing skills... Because they are immune to having to do it! Can your horsey boi swim across a surface of water to get to the other side? Probably not better than my wings that can fly across.
📒 Familiars are equally useful
Firstly it's not the same. Maybe nerf those too? Classic example of something many DMs find tedious to work around. Not absolute in it's power, but it is incredibly annoying on a great deal of fronts. Naming some other thing that gets under peoples skin doesn't make them both less problematic. Moreover, flying is still easily worse.
📒 It only solves problems for one character
What ever the hell that means. People behave as if this wasn't immediately apparent. As if other players not having it magically negates it's usefulness? If only one player is playing a class that this overpowered, does that magically discredit it's lack of balance. Why is this argument exclusively used for flying?
Moreover, players not being able to be hit by some things will just put more pressure on those who can.
This also brings up an entirely separate problem that compounds with it. Some players agency is actually too high. That sounds crazy I no know, but many players -- specifically casters -- have so much utility, damage potential, social interaction spells and whatever else, that they can basically just run off on their own and do whatever unchecked. I've seen plenty of occurances of caster players just ditching the rest of the party to do solo mumbo jumbo, solving every problem they come across by snapping their fingers to cast a spell. Fly makes this worse because that's a whole level three spell for free, and increases their incentive to do so because it's costless and doesn't need concentration. Even on a Martial build it further incentives people to go off on their own -- especially if the other players can't follow anyway. People think that the flying player is just going to stand around like an NPC or only go somewhere if the others can follow, when in reality they will fully utilize that moment to become a main character.
📒Narrow spaces People use these arguments all the time, and in theory they make sense. However there aren't mechanics for this. There is no listed wingspan in any flying race. That's a recipe for debate. Because if a player who really, really wants to fly(aka every character that has flight) sees you making these excuses that don't exist in the game then their patience for that will be very very limited.
📒Low ac, can't wear good armor
This has always been funny as an argument. Like heavy armor is just the bestest thing to have graced the table. But it's simply not. Not the best but remember in most cases you will literally be immune to melee, which gives you an incredible EFFECTIVE increase to ac if you stop to think about it. If you are a caster then this is worse. My guy the idea of casters being squishy has always been a lie anyway. Some of them already get decent armor options independent of heavy armor. Casters also get mage armor and shield, and misty step. Their effective ac is great if they are slightly prepared. Add ranged attacks to both of these and you are in a stupendous spot.
📒 All combat takes place indoors or underground.
This is actually categorically untrue. In my personal experience this is actually the opposite. However this is something that ultimately varies tremendously and is therefore not a valid solution. Sometimes it will be that way and sometimes it won't. Moreover, it's not as off all indoors encounter happen just below ceiling level. If the ceiling is 15 feet up fliers can reliably just effectively hang out on the ceiling. And if not, just staying above the space directly behind an ally solves this issue. If the ceiling is lower than 10 feet then this may actually be countered, but it's not a given that it will be.
Not ever indoor or cave dungeon is narrow and cramped. In my experience there have been plenty of open and sprawling spots because worrying about positioning is a massive headache.
I would also like to take this moment to remind everyone that combat is not necessarily the main issue with flying.
📒Casters counter them 1. Casters counter everyone, assuming they have the proper spells. 2. Casting technically isn't that common. 3. Okay, so now nearly all of my encounters must have casters? Often many encounters are centered around circumstance that causes the creatures and their conditions to vary wildly. Now I have to ignore all that just to challenge this one player?
📒 Don't challenge them. Just let them be overpowered.
This has always been silly. Even in a game where players basically demand to be overpowered, this isn't always as universally good as it sounds. I can prove it too... Because all forms of game balance in dnd and otherwise assume this isn't the case. So why are we changing our minds now. Seriously, a game almost entirely designed around combat and exploration, and both of those things are held up by bubblegum and boxtape? Not memorable. Might be fun cheesing the first dozen encounters or puzzles but eventually there will not be anything gained from it. Moreover, not every player even wants that! It might just be one out of four or six.
Moreover I feel like catering to this idea too much is deceptively toxic. Wanting to be powerful is not the same thing as not having a challenge. If a player wants to be strong with zero challenge then that player is low-key being sort is spineless. Play another game, or accept that you might have to think about your actions and your strategies to at least some extent. I run the type of game that if you at least have two braincells and use them you will probably be fine. Only players that have failed at my table or the ones that want excessive handouts. And it's arguments like these that sort of out people for not really wanting to underact with the came. Just circumnavigate it.
📒 This is only a problem at low levels
Also a lie. People say that because wizards get to use the fly spell at level 5 then that means natural flight is only overpowered until they get to do it. Except that's not really how it works.
Casters get the fly SPELL. It takes one level three spell slot minimum, same as fireball. Flying races don't spend any spell slots. Their fuel economy is unrivaled.
Casters get it for ten minutes. Flying races get it literally forever. Their endurance is unparalleled.
Casters have to use their concentration on the spell, and if they get hit they risk losing it just from taking damage. Flying races use no additional action economy, and don't risk falling just from taking damage. They are da biggest bird.
But let's be frank. What is overpowered is not determined based purely on itself. Often times, a specific combination of abilities is what makes it overpowered.
As you know, casters are extremely powerful. Some of them also don't use medium or heavy armor anyway. So there is already synergy here. Most casters have an overwhelming abundance or ranged moves to use. Sounds like it would be useful for something that rarely has adjacent enemies.
Now, nevermind the fact that flying as a racial trait is stronger that having it as a 3rd level spell. But! What if the already unnecessarily powerful wizards chooses the be a flying race? That would mean that they have an infinite 3rd level spell, resoursless, and they can use it to solves problems and avoid damage (both things that their spell list is designed to do) WITHOUT USING SPELL SLOTS OR CONCENTRATION. That's right, that means they can cast another concentration spell, effectively casting two concentration spells at once. There will never be an opportunity cost or major risk to casting fly again.
Wizards normally don't during battle because it costs a 3rd level slot and getting hit might mean you lose it anyway. These are now no longer issues, on top of casting a whole nother spell of concentration if need be.
Now, the overpowered option is even more overpowered.
📒 "Well, I have flying in my party and it's not overpowered because [DM put in significant extra effort adding in a bunch of stuff to stop if from being a solution to every problem]"
This is pretty much an admission that it's overpowered. If I have to warp the entirety of encounter design, level design, and puzzles to account for flying, it's classically overpowered. This is what we call a centralizing force. Generally speaking, features or abilities in a game that overly centralize the meta around stopping them are explicitly overpowered. This is actually the perfect example of a centralizing force in DND. You don't have to be omnipotent to be overpowered. Just excessively more overpowered than you need to be. Having counters is not disproof of being overpowered.
Additionally, anything that drastically expands my work load is overpowered. Deal with it, because I sure won't.
📒We play for fun at my table
You play for DM headaches more like it. We can have fun without breaking the DMs back. Stop advocating for the players so much that you disrespect the DM position
📒Yeah? Well I'm a DM and I have no issues with doing the work. Other DMs are just laszy!
You are an exception. Just because we can do the work doesn't mean we think it's worth it. I am absolutely meticulous enough to run this game. But largely I just don't think it's worth it. And most don't either. That's why there are so few DMs. Because people wag their fingers at the DMs that are reluctant to break their back over everything little ability or spell that the game would be perfectly fine without, the game as a whole suffers.
A few more things to remember:
📘 Your dm is probably in denial if he says this isn't an issue
This happens all the time in my experience. A session could actively be going up in flames and the DM or the player producing the issue will be shrugging their shoulders pretending nothing went wrong. I've seen games reached a screeching halt and be discontinued because of how difficult the players or their abilities were to handle, only to have the DM refuse to acknowledge that, or deny that there mishandling had any effect in the situation. Then I watch them make a new campaign and do it again.
📘Your dm is probably bending over backwards solving the problem. So if you don't encounter this problem, then this is why.
📘 People refuse to consider the amount of additional work for the DM. Even DMs have been conditioned the think this way. This is stupid, and the primary reason we have a DM shortage as it is now.
📘The worst issue here is that this ability seems to interrupt some specific DM styles more than others. This leads to DMs that aren't specifically having their styles countered will not take the issue as seriously. Just like how a DM who wants an adventure designed around a special plague will he annoyed when the paladin starts slapping key characters with lay on hands instead of going to find the plot hook mcguffin or negotiating for a cure.
TLDR: Flying is busted, and the DMs well-being is objectively more valuable than this measly ability. Remove one to maintain the other.
Edit: I love how people say "just ban it and be done with it" like people haven't been cooked and chastised for doing that for years on this sub. Like if you're out of arguments then say so LMAO.
2023.05.28 06:16 luckylungs678 It’s cold enough that Alex has to put a sweater on but but Ari is out and about in sleeveless outfit.
Just like the title says eye roll why isn’t Ari ever dressed properly? She’s always either underdressed or overdressed. She looked the best when nana was visiting 😢 if it’s cold enough that Alex needs to put a cable knit sweater on why isn’t Ari wearing more layers??! Or at least something with sleeves? The photos were posted to her story 2 hours apart. Surely the weather didn’t warm up dramatically in that short amount of time. This poor baby.
submitted by luckylungs678 to wheelchairrepunzel [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 06:16 Cilbit Bitter Sweet Goodbye to my 2022 Bolt EUV LT. TLDR: Best New Car Purchase Ever!! Though I wish I Didn’t Get a Dud. :/
 | I traded in my 2022 Bolt EUV LT in Bright Blue Metallic with 18,300 miles on it, to a local Honda Dealer for $26k. I replaced it with a CPO 2019 Honda Insight Touring in Cosmic Blue Metallic with just under 79k miles for $24k plus extended warranty, so total price was around $28k with taxes/fees I believe. submitted by Cilbit to BoltEV [link] [comments] I really miss my Bolt EUV… but I couldn’t continue with all the random issues happening or not being able to be duplicated and so forth. The last straw was me having to make the 4 hour drive home from Olympic National Park in Washington, with Service ABS, Service ESC, Service Transmission, Steering Assist Reduced Please Drive with Care, and LKA System Unavailable. The first time I used my brakes, the pedal went all the way to the floor and steering was all over the place. And it had just started raining heavily while driving through very curvy roads in pitch black darkness. :/ I took the Bolt EUV in ASAP to the dealership and they didn’t find any codes stored in the computer, other than for the radio head unit going black/freezing up (replaced the radio control unit I believe), and for the charge ring light glitching out and no longer being in sync with the dashboard light (cleared the codes and confirmed it was working properly). I just couldn’t believe the car didn’t have any codes stored for all those lights/error messages. :( I couldn’t afford another Bolt EV/EUV as the dealerships in my area are still marking them up, and the Oregon EV Rebate program is closed to applicants for the year as they don’t have enough funding. Hopefully that’ll be open again next year. So if I had be able to secure another Bolt EV/EUV I would’ve spent more than the $25k I spent on the Bolt EUV I traded in. This whole situation sucks because I absolutely LOVED the car even with the short comings it had. If I could’ve guaranteed the issues I had with the car could be fixed and I’d have no major issues going forward I would’ve kept it, but I couldn’t and I need a reliable car. I’m in between jobs, so I’m doing Uber full time and taking the Bolt in so many times was keeping me from being able to work. My Honda Insight is also at the dealership being checked over right now as I found a few issues with that I wanted to have checked out/resolved. A few of them being: •Passenger side headlight seemed to be aimed too high. •Hood would flutter rapidly at highway speeds. •Vibration from the front end at highway speeds. •Popping noise when turning the steering wheel left/right. •Metallic rattle coming from shifteconsole area. •And a few other things. I think my luck is just down right now, but I’m trying to stay positive. :) I’ll miss you Blue Lightning, and I hope wherever you end up, that you’re taken care of. :) |
2023.05.28 06:10 liamthegooner At the 9:30 Club, Washington DC.
 | submitted by liamthegooner to BlocParty [link] [comments] |
2023.05.28 06:07 TreatCertain My new minimalist setup
 | submitted by TreatCertain to iOSsetups [link] [comments] |
2023.05.28 06:00 FaithlessnessSea7909 Como se encuentra una esposa colombiana
Ya me canse de estar con americanas, busco una latina y me dijeron todos mis amigos que las Colombianas son las mejores y las mas bellas. Tengo 31 anos y vivo alado de Washington DC. Como encuentro una colombiana que no tenga las cualidades que las americanas tengan?
submitted by FaithlessnessSea7909 to Colombia [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 05:58 glenlassan My Memories as a Manic Mormon Missionary in Maricaibo.... Or how my missionary service chemically rewrote my personal identity.
Are we ready for Storytime? Cool. Let's have a Storytime.
My personal medical & mental health odyssey, since 2001, has been dominated by a singular event. My LDS mission in Maracaibo Venezuela.
Before I dive into it, here is some basic info about Mania. Mania, is a state of being in an elevated high-energy mental state, typically for weeks or longer at a time. Hypomania, by contrast is when the same occurs for a lesser period of time, such as days.
While commonly associated with Bipolar disorder, Mania can in fact, be caused by other environmental factors. Environmental factors such as:
I am on the Autism spectrum & have ADHD. I was undiagnosed at the time, but needless to say, I didn't have a strong social toolkit for dealing with neurotypicals when I went on my mission. Compounding matters, was the fact that I was sent to the Spanish speaking Maracaibo Venezuela mission in 2001. So not only did I have crazy culture shock, but I was also forced to socialized with Neurotypical (NT) Utah elders, and had no idea on how to do so successfully, being an Neurodivergent (ND) from Northern New York.
So let's put a huge-ass check on "difficult life conditions" as yes, I was alone in a crowd, so to speak at the time. The mission itself expected us to be preaching about 60 hours a week, so we can definitely check off "High level of stress". Changes in sleep patterns? Super check. My MTC group had the honor of being the first group allowed to wake up at 6:30 AM rather than 6 AM. Seasonal changes? Super check. I'm from NNY. We have a 5 to 7-months of snowy weather per year. Maracaibo, on the other hand, has two seasons. "Hot summer" and "Hellish summer". Significant change in my life such as moving? I did that every few weeks as an elder. Extra super-duper check. Not to mention the whole culture shock thing. Loss or Bereavement? You betcha. I lost my entire world in one go. Trauma and abuse? Extra check. The mission itself is inherently abusive. High levels of stress? Goes without saying.
In other words, even in SNAFU conditions (Situation normal, all fucked up) missionary service is a literal incubator for manic situations. It of course hits some people more than others, due to various other factors, but inherently, missionary service is objectively a high risk factor for developing manic symptoms.
And then, on top of all that. I caught a goddamn tropical disease, and lost visible weight in three days. I was probably hypomanic, or manic before that point, truth be told. After that point, well. I was full on psychotic. I suppose that needs a sperate bit of medical explanation. Our current understanding of how psychotic & delusional & schizophrenic medications work, was based on the observation that many of these mental health conditions are nearly indistinguishable from the symptoms of taking too much speed. Once that link was discovered, many anti-psychotic meds were developed, that (more or less) functioned largely by acting as a downer, to reverse manic states, and by extension, pull people out of delusional psychotic states.
So with that in mind, is it any wonder, that when I was manic already, that tropical disease pushed me over the edge, into full on insanity?
I was in that state over a month. Stark raving mad. Working a 60+ hour workweek, in the hot deadly Venezuelan sun. In what was simultaneously a politically unstable 3rd world nation, and the nation with the 6th highest violent crime rate in the world at the time. I was malnourished. Overstressed isn't even the word for it.
And then, I got scared, and ran away from my comp for a day. And on top of all that, became even more stressed, even more malnourished, and dehydrated. Went from being mildly psychotic, to majorly psychotic, and three quarters dead in the span of a day.
Got sent home after that. But my doctors..... Well they ignored all of the above context. And put me on some rather nasty pills, known as Remeron and Haloperidol. As you might imagine from my description of how typical anti-psychotics work, these pills, individually and in combination, were basically tranquillizers.
For years, my nickname became "Sleepy" Life was living death. However, I persevered, my psychotic symptoms lessened, and I was weaned off both meds.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, anti-psychotics are a perhaps the most dangerous class of drugs to wean off of. Quite ironically, one of the major withdrawal symptoms of Haloperidol is manic symptoms, and rebounding, and more intense psychotic symptoms.
Did my doctors pay any attention to the consequences of taking me off those pills?
Nope! I was told that the mania and psychosis I experienced when I got off those pills meant I was schizophrenic, and would likely need to be on pills for the rest of my natural life.
My new cocktails? Risperdal, Effexor, Singular, Benztropine. The important one to pay attention to there, is Risperdal. Risperdal is the one that makes CIS men grow breasts and lactate. My asshole doctor went years without giving me the blood tests that were recommended monthly while on that pill. When I finally got one, he asked me if I could lactate, because my prolactin levels were higher than a pregnant woman's.
So I was switched from Risperdal, to Abilify. What a change! My sex drive turned back on! I had a second puberty in my late 20's! Very fun (not really) As I grew progressively more capable, and able tto intellectually and emotionally function (at all) I decided enough was enough, and weaned off all my meds, AMA, which happened to line up with my leaving the LDS faith.
Silly me. wanna know what one of the withdrawal effects of Abilify is? Mania! a So on top of leaving a toxic faith, and getting rid of toxic doctors, I had to put up with yet more goddamn manic episode.
Fun fact: Mania isn't just trying to do everything all at once. Mania can also turn into irritability and rage. Stack on top of that the heaps of abuse that my church, and parents had heaped on me, and well, I was a bit of an angry asshole at the time, to put it mildly.
And yes. My good old friend, mania induced psychosis popped up again. Another trip to the psych ward. Another misdiagnosis. My mania was such, that I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar disorder, and given Depakote.
Depakote, is an instant old age pill. It'll kill you to stay on, and will destroy you if you get it off wrong, and it'll take months to recover even if you get off of it right. It's a rather nasty pill. I got off it as quickly as I could, but yeah, you guessed it. Depakote withdrawal also includes agitation and irritability.
For the longest time, I thought that the angry asshole I was, when I left the church, and the not-great things I did and said to friends and family on the way out was a choice. Turns out I was wrong. It wasn't a choice. It was literally a chain of dominos, that started with my mission, and was carried along by a successive string of literally incompetent doctors, none of which who could be bothered to pay attention to the chain of events as a whole.
And yes. During the whole process, my parents, and my doctors kept telling me that I was the broken one. That I was the one in the wrong. That they knew what was best. It turns out, that it was the other way around. They were breaking me, and blaming me for being broken. Trying to take accountability for what they had done to me, tore me apart. Destroyed my sense of self confidence, and self worth, from the inside out.
I'm 41. I'm still living with the repercussions of all of the above. I'll never stop really, at least not till the day I die anyways. I'm starting to make peace with it somewhat. Because holy fuck. At no point, in the entire process, was my agency respected. At no point in the process was my human rights respected. Between the church, and my asshole doctors prescribing pills like they were candy, at no point was I fully and truly responsible for the state of my mind and body, because fun fact. Our brains are just big computers, with a lot of chemistry in them. The church and my doctors robbed me of control over the chemistry end, and decisions I made that I thought that were fully my own, weren't actually. I still feel guilt for the parts that were in my control of course. I won't ever stop feeling that. But at least now, knowing what I know, I know that a lot of that, was not me. Not things I had chosen. It was things, the church, and my shitty doctors chose for me. And that helps.
I'm not going to lie. It took me decades to figure all of this out. Hopefully, some young people can read my story, and realize how much agency the church stole from them, and use that information to improve their mental health, and sense of self-worth. Hopefully.
submitted by glenlassan to exmormon [link] [comments]
My personal medical & mental health odyssey, since 2001, has been dominated by a singular event. My LDS mission in Maracaibo Venezuela.
Before I dive into it, here is some basic info about Mania. Mania, is a state of being in an elevated high-energy mental state, typically for weeks or longer at a time. Hypomania, by contrast is when the same occurs for a lesser period of time, such as days.
While commonly associated with Bipolar disorder, Mania can in fact, be caused by other environmental factors. Environmental factors such as:
- High levels of stress
- Changes in sleep patterns or lack of sleep
- Using recreational drugs or alcohol
- Seasonal changes – for example, some people are more likely to experience hypomania and mania in spring
- A significant change in your life, such as moving house or going through a divorce
- Childbirth – see our page on postpartum psychosis for more information
- Loss or bereavement
- Trauma and abuse
- Difficult life conditions – for example, problems with money, housing or loneliness
- As a side effect of medication
- As a symptom of a physical illness or neurological condition
- Family history – if you have a family member who experiences bipolar moods, you are more likely to experience mania or hypomania
I am on the Autism spectrum & have ADHD. I was undiagnosed at the time, but needless to say, I didn't have a strong social toolkit for dealing with neurotypicals when I went on my mission. Compounding matters, was the fact that I was sent to the Spanish speaking Maracaibo Venezuela mission in 2001. So not only did I have crazy culture shock, but I was also forced to socialized with Neurotypical (NT) Utah elders, and had no idea on how to do so successfully, being an Neurodivergent (ND) from Northern New York.
So let's put a huge-ass check on "difficult life conditions" as yes, I was alone in a crowd, so to speak at the time. The mission itself expected us to be preaching about 60 hours a week, so we can definitely check off "High level of stress". Changes in sleep patterns? Super check. My MTC group had the honor of being the first group allowed to wake up at 6:30 AM rather than 6 AM. Seasonal changes? Super check. I'm from NNY. We have a 5 to 7-months of snowy weather per year. Maracaibo, on the other hand, has two seasons. "Hot summer" and "Hellish summer". Significant change in my life such as moving? I did that every few weeks as an elder. Extra super-duper check. Not to mention the whole culture shock thing. Loss or Bereavement? You betcha. I lost my entire world in one go. Trauma and abuse? Extra check. The mission itself is inherently abusive. High levels of stress? Goes without saying.
In other words, even in SNAFU conditions (Situation normal, all fucked up) missionary service is a literal incubator for manic situations. It of course hits some people more than others, due to various other factors, but inherently, missionary service is objectively a high risk factor for developing manic symptoms.
And then, on top of all that. I caught a goddamn tropical disease, and lost visible weight in three days. I was probably hypomanic, or manic before that point, truth be told. After that point, well. I was full on psychotic. I suppose that needs a sperate bit of medical explanation. Our current understanding of how psychotic & delusional & schizophrenic medications work, was based on the observation that many of these mental health conditions are nearly indistinguishable from the symptoms of taking too much speed. Once that link was discovered, many anti-psychotic meds were developed, that (more or less) functioned largely by acting as a downer, to reverse manic states, and by extension, pull people out of delusional psychotic states.
So with that in mind, is it any wonder, that when I was manic already, that tropical disease pushed me over the edge, into full on insanity?
I was in that state over a month. Stark raving mad. Working a 60+ hour workweek, in the hot deadly Venezuelan sun. In what was simultaneously a politically unstable 3rd world nation, and the nation with the 6th highest violent crime rate in the world at the time. I was malnourished. Overstressed isn't even the word for it.
And then, I got scared, and ran away from my comp for a day. And on top of all that, became even more stressed, even more malnourished, and dehydrated. Went from being mildly psychotic, to majorly psychotic, and three quarters dead in the span of a day.
Got sent home after that. But my doctors..... Well they ignored all of the above context. And put me on some rather nasty pills, known as Remeron and Haloperidol. As you might imagine from my description of how typical anti-psychotics work, these pills, individually and in combination, were basically tranquillizers.
For years, my nickname became "Sleepy" Life was living death. However, I persevered, my psychotic symptoms lessened, and I was weaned off both meds.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, anti-psychotics are a perhaps the most dangerous class of drugs to wean off of. Quite ironically, one of the major withdrawal symptoms of Haloperidol is manic symptoms, and rebounding, and more intense psychotic symptoms.
Did my doctors pay any attention to the consequences of taking me off those pills?
Nope! I was told that the mania and psychosis I experienced when I got off those pills meant I was schizophrenic, and would likely need to be on pills for the rest of my natural life.
My new cocktails? Risperdal, Effexor, Singular, Benztropine. The important one to pay attention to there, is Risperdal. Risperdal is the one that makes CIS men grow breasts and lactate. My asshole doctor went years without giving me the blood tests that were recommended monthly while on that pill. When I finally got one, he asked me if I could lactate, because my prolactin levels were higher than a pregnant woman's.
So I was switched from Risperdal, to Abilify. What a change! My sex drive turned back on! I had a second puberty in my late 20's! Very fun (not really) As I grew progressively more capable, and able tto intellectually and emotionally function (at all) I decided enough was enough, and weaned off all my meds, AMA, which happened to line up with my leaving the LDS faith.
Silly me. wanna know what one of the withdrawal effects of Abilify is? Mania! a So on top of leaving a toxic faith, and getting rid of toxic doctors, I had to put up with yet more goddamn manic episode.
Fun fact: Mania isn't just trying to do everything all at once. Mania can also turn into irritability and rage. Stack on top of that the heaps of abuse that my church, and parents had heaped on me, and well, I was a bit of an angry asshole at the time, to put it mildly.
And yes. My good old friend, mania induced psychosis popped up again. Another trip to the psych ward. Another misdiagnosis. My mania was such, that I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar disorder, and given Depakote.
Depakote, is an instant old age pill. It'll kill you to stay on, and will destroy you if you get it off wrong, and it'll take months to recover even if you get off of it right. It's a rather nasty pill. I got off it as quickly as I could, but yeah, you guessed it. Depakote withdrawal also includes agitation and irritability.
For the longest time, I thought that the angry asshole I was, when I left the church, and the not-great things I did and said to friends and family on the way out was a choice. Turns out I was wrong. It wasn't a choice. It was literally a chain of dominos, that started with my mission, and was carried along by a successive string of literally incompetent doctors, none of which who could be bothered to pay attention to the chain of events as a whole.
And yes. During the whole process, my parents, and my doctors kept telling me that I was the broken one. That I was the one in the wrong. That they knew what was best. It turns out, that it was the other way around. They were breaking me, and blaming me for being broken. Trying to take accountability for what they had done to me, tore me apart. Destroyed my sense of self confidence, and self worth, from the inside out.
I'm 41. I'm still living with the repercussions of all of the above. I'll never stop really, at least not till the day I die anyways. I'm starting to make peace with it somewhat. Because holy fuck. At no point, in the entire process, was my agency respected. At no point in the process was my human rights respected. Between the church, and my asshole doctors prescribing pills like they were candy, at no point was I fully and truly responsible for the state of my mind and body, because fun fact. Our brains are just big computers, with a lot of chemistry in them. The church and my doctors robbed me of control over the chemistry end, and decisions I made that I thought that were fully my own, weren't actually. I still feel guilt for the parts that were in my control of course. I won't ever stop feeling that. But at least now, knowing what I know, I know that a lot of that, was not me. Not things I had chosen. It was things, the church, and my shitty doctors chose for me. And that helps.
I'm not going to lie. It took me decades to figure all of this out. Hopefully, some young people can read my story, and realize how much agency the church stole from them, and use that information to improve their mental health, and sense of self-worth. Hopefully.